


Extra Pepperoni

by hikarimitsuko



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: BoyxBoy, Eren - Freeform, Ereri sex, Extra Pepperoni, First Time, Firstime, Gay, Levi - Freeform, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, MalexMale, Pizza, Sex, Yaoi, arminxannie - Freeform, attack on titan - Freeform, attackontitan, erenxlevi - Freeform, ereri, extrapepperoni, hikari mitsuko, hikarimitsuko, levixeren - Freeform, riren - Freeform, rivaere - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, shingekinokyojin, yaoi love, yaoi sex, yaoilove, yaoisex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:03:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 89,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikarimitsuko/pseuds/hikarimitsuko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren, 17, student. Not gay, definitely not gay (at least that’s what he says). Known as “The fuck-up” has to work every night of his god damn life to deliver pizza in an attempt to make enough money for him and Mikasa to get by on their own since their dad abandoned them. The shitty tiny apartment is what he calls his hell hole. He hates school, he hates work, he hates his life but he wants to make it better some day. One particular night, a customer calls a couple of minutes before the Pizzeria closes to place an order. Eren is pissed off, to say the least. Until that stranger opens the door of his house and grabs him by the shirt.<br/>Tumblr: Hikarimitsuko</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Extra Pepperoni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Hello you guys! For those of you who are new to my works, well Hi! Those who came back after reading the But since we're going to die here series, well thanks for sticking with me. As I'm posting this, i'm almost done with "But since we're going to live here" and crying...I'm such a sap. ANYWAYS, moving on to a brand new fic, brand new possibilities *wink wink nudge nudge*. This fic will be updated on mondays or tuesdays once I start to regularly update (when the other fic is over, so soon). Also it should have around 15-20 chapters tops, unless Levi decides on doing whatever he wants...cause this happens...
> 
> As you read in the summary...Eren isn't gay. At least that's what he says ;)
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Tumblr: Hikarimitsuko.tumblr.com  
> I track: #fic:extrapepperoni

I let my shirt fall on the floor in front of my locker, not caring one bit about the eyes on me as people make their way out of school. They know better than to say a word. I take my running clothes and shoes out of my backpack and get changed in the middle of the hallway. Who fucking cares. I hate this place. I hate that I have to leave my car parked at the apartment because I can’t afford the gas for it, at least not to go to school.

I step outside and it looks like it’s going to be pouring rain soon enough. I start running immediately. The sooner I reach the apartment, the better. The 5km trip doesn’t take that long, I have gotten used to it by now. I arrive home and slide my key into the lock. I walk to the fridge right away and chug down a whole bottle of water.

“You could at least take off your shoes.” Mikasa says.  
“It’s not like it takes long cleaning a two bedroom apartment.” I say, regretting my words instantly.

She glares at me.

“It’s not like you clean it either… Have some fucking respect, Eren. I’m trying my best here.”  
“I know.” I mutter, reaching for her.  
“Ewe! No, go shower, you stink.”  
“Yes mom.”

I turn around and then glance back at her.

“You’re already doing a much better job than dad was… just so you know. I’m lucky to have you as a sister.”

She turns her head, hiding whatever emotion just almost filtered through her impassive face.

“Whatever. Go shower or you’ll be late to work.”

I wouldn’t mind, but I’m not going to say that. I need to be responsible. She already had to drop out of school in order to pay for the both of us after dad left. She made so many sacrifices and if delivering pizza is the only thing I can do to help, I will do it the best I can. The shower isn’t long enough to my taste but we always run out of hot water after 2 minutes. Inconvenient of living in this hell hole. One day I’ll find a good place for her and then I’ll try to find one for me. We’ll make it because we stick together, we are strong. 

I push open the door of my bedroom, my foot instinctively clinging to the corner of my bedside table, as usual. I curse, letting myself fall on the bed as I hold my toes tightly. God dammit. I roll on my back, not even bothering about my brown mop of hair almost flooding my bed sheets. I stare at the fan that turns slowly above me. It’s a very tiny room. There’s a bed, a closet, a bedside table and piles of clothes on the floor. My broken laptop sits in the corner of the room, on the floor. I reach for my cellphone and glance at the time. Shit. I’m going to be late. I sit up straight, reach for a pair of dark jeans that doesn’t seem too dirty and put on a neatly folded t-shirt that still has a hint of lavender smell to it. It’s green, my favorite color. Why? Green to me, means freedom, probably as much as blue and white. It’s what I’m starving for. Freedom from these walls. Freedom from the pressure of being very close to living in the streets. Freedom of having clean laundry a bit more often. I sigh as I grab my phone and keys and walk out the door. Mikasa is already gone to her second job. I close the one shitty light that barely lights up the living room and kitchen (which are pretty much the same room because the couch is actually touching the kitchen table.)

I walk in 5 minutes late.

“Eren, you’re late again.” Mr. Smith says.  
“I know, I’m sorry, my car took a long time to start.”  
“You’ll have to learn to get to work on time.” He says.  
“Enough.” Another voice interjects.

I turn around and see Mr. Pixis, the owner, sitting at one of the pizzeria’s tables.

“Erwin, let the kid breathe. 5 minutes is not that bad at all. He’ll just have to make one extra delivery to make up for the time.”  
“Yes sir, I will.” I nod.

The door opens, letting the wind blow in and I barely have time to turn around that two blond heads pass beside me and head straight to the back. Armin and Annie. Long time best friends who happen to both work here. Most of my shifts are with them. I’m glad for Armin but Annie has one hell of a shitty attitude. We have a love/hate relationship. 

“So? Anything for me?” I ask to Erwin.  
“Yeah two deliveries on main and you’re already 15 minutes late.” He says as he hands me the pizzas and the addresses.  
“Thanks.” I mutter, making my way out as I wave to Mr. Pixis.

The evening goes fast. I even have time to chat with Armin for a couple of minutes around 8 when we reach that boring time of the night. It’s almost 9 and I can’t wait to go home. I start to walk towards the door when the phone rings. Please. No. God…

Of fucking course, it’s a customer and of course it’s a delivery. Armin looks at me with a guilty smile. He mouths “I’m sorry” before he answers the customer that his order will be ready soon. 15 minutes later I’m out the door with the pizza. It’s 9:01 and I should already be heading home. I am pissed, to say the least.

I make my way into the more wealthy districts of town to eventually find myself in front of a big Victorian house. I walk between two huge columns and climb the stairs to the door. I knock but I hear loud music inside so I opt for the bell instead. It takes some time but eventually I see a small figure show up behind the frosted glass. At first I think it’s a child but the door opens and I suck in a breath, almost dropping my pizza. It is definitely not a child.

The guys leans down to the left, not even glancing at me, and reaches for a remote to point it at what I assume to be, the living room. As he looks away, my gaze falls down to his open black button up shirt. My eyes shoot up when I see the muscles move again. He turns to me as he presses the button. The wrong button apparently because the music happens to be louder now.

“Tch. Shitty remote.” He mutters before he actually stares at me.

He barely even blinks, he stares up and down at me and then his gaze meets mine. A shiver goes down my spine and so I just hand him the box of pizza.

“Extra pepperoni?” I ask with a sheepish smile.

It takes a moment before his hand closes on the box but right away he throws it across the room in the direction of the music, to my biggest surprise and grabs the collar of my shirt instead. The surprisingly strong arms pull me close as the music changes. For a second I’m sure he’s going to hit me for being late or something. Was I? I didn’t think I was. I close my eyes and all I feel is the back of my head softly hitting a wall and an arm pressing on my chest. I open my eyes just fast enough to realize that the guy’s lips are pressed on mine. I try to pull away but-but…I end up kissing him back for long enough than I want to admit. I feel like a flame thrower just got aimed at me. He cups my butt cheeks and picks me up to shove me back against the wall. He presses his hips against mine and starts grinding, making me gasp. The shock makes me realize what’s going on. I turn my head and the black-haired guy pulls his face away from me.

“You have one hell of a gaze, kid.” He says as he gently wipes his mouth and then runs a thumb on my bottom lip.

I snap out of whatever reverie I was in.

“W-What the fuck is wrong with you?” I shout, balancing my legs hard enough for him to let go of me. “Are you completely insane, just suddenly grabbing people and…”

He chuckles.

“Kid, calm down. I’m not a nymphomaniac or anything like that. Well…maybe a little but what I mean to say is that I’m not usually doing these sort of things. You just happened to be the hottest little shit I’ve ever seen and I couldn’t pass up the offer.”  
“There was no offer.” I snap.  
“You seem pretty pissed for someone who took at least 5 minutes to stop me from pinning him to the wall.”  
“What are you trying to say?” I ask, fixing my pants and trying to hide the very obvious boner I have.  
“That you wanted it too.” He says with a shit eating grin.

I let out a loud laugh.

“I’m not gay. And also, you kind of forced me.” I say, walking back to the door.  
“Oh you’re gay. Your little soldier is already begging for me” He smirks, looking down between my legs and then back up to my eyes.  
“No. I am not.”  
“Yes you are and I’ll prove it to you.” He says taking a step towards me and grabbing my wrists playfully.  
“Whatever.” I say, shoving his hand away and grabbing the door handle.

I walk out, not even glancing behind me as I make my way to my car. I sit and then realize he didn’t pay me. Not only that, my wallet fucking fell off my pocket. Or he took it… What a fucking shitty night.

***

It’s approximately 23hours later, when Armin raises his gaze at me with the same word – sorry – in them, that I know it’s the same guy. I don’t even need to ask for the address when Armin hands me the extra pepperoni pizza. I sigh but walk out to sit in my car, ready to go and get my money from yesterday and make him pay for today. Nothing more. Oh and my wallet if he indeed has it. Which I’m sure he does.

School was hard today, I got called to the principal’s office for falling asleep in my English class. I almost destroyed the lab in science and sent Connie to the nurse after burning his finger. The idiot was laughing all the way there, which got me in trouble with Shadis – The gym class teacher – and I ended up having to run in the rain as I came back home. It couldn’t get worse, except that it did when Armin picked up that freaking phone. 

I pull the car over in the guy’s driveway and let the engine roll a bit longer as I let the song finish. The next one that comes up, surprisingly, is the one on which he pinned me to the wall, Celebrity Skin – Hole. I loved that song, but that was before. Before it sent these images back in my head and suddenly I was nervous that he’d try that again. I’m not gay, I never was. Hell I fucked two girls and I was way too please with how that felt to say I was gay. Indeed, it was in the dark. Indeed I wanted to fill more than one hole but that idea got shut down both times, whether it was mouth or ass. Indeed, we didn’t talk and I pretty much ditched both of them after because I’m just that kind of an asshole… No really, I just didn’t know how to act so I ran. My reputation suffered a lot from that. Not that it was very good in first place. Everyone refers to me as “the fuck up”. You know…the guy who lives alone with his sister because his dad abandoned them. The guy who fucks girls and doesn’t call them after. The guy who fails most of his classes with the exception of History. The guy who can beat the shit out of anyone who even tries to mess with him – I.E. most of the time, Jean Kirschtein. I roll my eyes and take out my keys, shutting the music at the same time. 

I ring the bell, not surprised to hear loud music again as I wait with that stupid pizza box in my hands. As if that wasn’t enough, they were forcing us to wear a fucking ugly hat with the company’s logo on it. I grab it and try to tame my rat’s nest before the door slams open.

“About fucking time.” He says.  
“Well fuck you too.” I reply, glaring at him.  
“Cocky little shit, come in.”

He steps away from the door and gestures to the interior.

“I’d rather not. Pay me for yesterday and today so I can just go back to my fucking bed already.”  
“Bed eh? I have one of those too.”  
“Wow, cheesy pick up lines… what are you, 90?” I ask, not really wanting an actual answer.  
“28, in fact.”  
“Whatever.”

I hold my hand out, waiting for the money.

“Get inside or I won’t fucking pay you.” He orders, no longer smiling. I still find the strength to answer to him though.  
“Dude, whatever it is you want, you’re not getting it from me, I have a girlfriend. Plus, I don’t know you, who knows if you aren’t some crazy bastard waiting for 17year old boys knocking at his door to shove them against the wall and kiss them against their will. Oh wait……”

He smirks, grabbing my wrist and pulling me forcefully inside the house as he closes the door behind me.

“First of all, I know you want to possess me the same way I want to possess you. Your mind says no but your body screams yes. I have all the time in the world to wait for you to change your mind. Second, you do not have a girlfriend, Jaeger. Thank you Facebook for that. Third I might have been a little intense the last time I saw you, but your body reacted to mine and therefore I am not sorry that I did.”

So he stalked me…he even knows my name. I am so fucked. Should I tell Pixis? Armin? Mikasa? Maybe he’s dangerous.

“A little intense is the understatement of the year.” I smirk. “Are you going to pay me or what?”  
“Stay for a while and I will.”  
“Dude, I’m not a whore…” I start but he cuts me off.  
“I meant to eat pizza or whatever, calm the fuck down, I’m not going to jump on you every occasion I have, at least for now.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Shut up and sit.”

I obey, not really sure of what else to do and my stomach is yelling for me to accept the offer. He comes back and shoves a plate in my hands. Three slices, that’s almost more than I eat in an entire day. I bite into it, letting my gaze explore the living room. A giant TV on the wall, a fireplace underneath it. The couch looks like a giant L and I sit at the very end of it. I look beside me just to see the guy not so far away. Not far enough. And he doesn’t have a plate.

“You’re not eating?” I ask with a mouthful.  
“First, EWE! Second, no. I already had pizza yesterday, I don’t want it.”  
“But…why did you order it then?” I ask, frowning.  
“Well to see you, idiot. I was considering calling the number on your health card but I knew you would only come back here if you were forced to. And here we are.” He smiles, handing me back my wallet.

I grab it angrily from him and shove it back in my pocket.

“So, if I understand you well, you stalked me on Facebook, you now know my address and name, and you’ll be forcing me to come back here by ordering pizza and not eating it?”  
“Almost there… I’ll let you eat it all, or whatever you want from this shitty place you work at. And one day, when you’re no longer a little shit, I’ll show you what a real meal is.”

I sigh.

“I don’t have a choice, do I?”  
“If you want to keep your job, no.” He grins, leaning closer to me.

I lean back.

“Hey! That doesn’t mean I’m gay. It doesn’t mean I want anything to do with you. I just want the fucking food.” I admit shyly.  
“What, are you poor or something?” He asks.

My lack of answer is enough for him to understand. He simply nods and moves on.

“Well, we can just hang out, I’ll keep on paying for the pizza.”  
“Don’t you have friends?” I blurt out nervously.  
“Do you?” He replies.  
“Not really, only a couple of people.” I sigh.  
“Same here.”

I shove another piece of pizza in my mouth and the silence drags on forever.

“But I don’t get it, why do you want to hang out with me?”  
“You’re cute and you’re cocky, I like that.” He sighs. “That’s besides that fact that I’d really like to see your beautiful pleading eyes and hot body squirming under mine but we’re not there yet, are we?”

He looks at me for confirmation and I can’t help but let a laugh escape me.

“In your dreams, old man.”  
“28 isn’t old, come on. I have just the right amount of experience, if you catch my drift.”  
“No, shut up.” I warn. “Oh by the way, what’s your name, Mr. Extra Pepperoni?”

He crosses his legs, making his button up fall open at the same time and somehow, my eyes can’t keep on glancing that way. It’s only because I want it buttoned back up. Right? Right. He smirks before his lips curl and a name comes out.

“It’s Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): I hope you enjoyed that first chapter. It'll be funny for the most part. Of course there'll be some feels at some point...Come on, you know me now... Mostly prepare to laugh and read a lot of smut.... But oops...Eren isn't gay. Right? ;) *whispers* For now...
> 
> PS: Sorry for any atrocious typos... I should probably mention that I speak french so I have a bit of trouble to figure things out some time (Like man vs men...... or gray vs grey..... fk this, honestly lol)
> 
> Comments are always much much much appreciated and since this is the first chapter, I'd like feedback? ^_^


	2. Extra fries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Surprise!!! ^_^ Yes, I had some time to finish writing But since we're going to live here and even after all those feels, I felt really inspired. I guess it's SNK chapter 72 that made me want to add fluff everywhere (i'm nervous)...lol ANYWAYS. Here you go. For those of you who are not familiar to my writing. I use a lot of music in my fics. So either there will be a song in the chapter or there will be mood songs for every chapters. This chapter has Jason Derulo - Talk Dirty in it. I hope you'll like it, I'm starting to find a much clearer path for this now that I wrote the whole plot down. I could actually write all day non stop but some of us have to work XD... *Sobs* ... Anyways, comments are always appreciated so please leave some, especially since this is still at the early stages so if you have suggestions or things you'd like to see, I might consider those things too. I didn't fix a weekday to post this fic yet but next week is my last posting of But since we're going to live here, which means i'll be telling you more on the next chapter of Extra Pepperoni. Enjoy!!
> 
> I track: fic:extrapepperoni on tumblr (or any variations of the tag lol). Username: Hikarimitsuko (that weird cosplayer)
> 
> PS: Sorry for any atrocious typos. Remember that I speak french. Be kind.

The next evening, when Armin’s about to ask why I’m not leaving, since it’s 8h58, the phone rings. I can’t help but smirk. Couldn’t he just call at 8h45 so that no one else than me had to endure this? Armin frowns at me when he hands me the box.

“Aren’t you pissed off?” Armin asks. “It’s not like you to smile randomly like that.”  
“I’m just in a good mood. I won’t let this stubborn asshole ruin it by his late orders of pizza.”  
“Extra fries.” Armin says, placing the tiny box on the larger one.

Ah…So he remembers what I told him last night. Maybe this was going to work out after all. Maybe for once I wouldn’t go to bed on an half empty stomach. Maybe for once I would actually be able to go through a whole day at school and feel rested. Yeah…No. Not if he forces me to stay there until midnight again. The dude was creepy. I don’t mean physically but just…the way he stares at me is…weird. He’s been nice, polite and surprisingly distant all evening yesterday. Which felt great because it made me realize that he’s not that much of an asshole after all. When he doesn’t try to get his tongue inside my mouth, that is.

I could always find another job, another place to work at but I love the people there. With Smith being the exception to that. I really don’t get it, how you can be so obnoxious after failing so bad at life that you end up working as a cashier in a pizza shop. Not that it’s anything bad, it’s better than no job at all, but he just seems like he got lazy and settled for this. Maybe it’s his hobby of being fucking annoying to me that he likes so much. We can’t stand each other and while he may act all nice and kind in front of Mr Pixis, he is a fucking vulture when the boss’s not there. Yeah I could definitely find another job but I would miss my late night chats with Armin. I could call the police, perhaps, and explain what this guy, Levi, makes me do. He wouldn’t go to jail but maybe he’d get a restrictive order. Well, in fact, he could go to jail, since I’m only 17. I wonder if a make out session is enough to send him there. Then again, for some reason I really don’t want him in jail. I guess my stomach really really likes him, especially now that I can smell the food on the backseat of my car.

There’s an accident and I have to make a huge detour around the block, which, will certainly piss him off even more. He told me last night that I had to be on time or else… He left it at that and I have to admit I’m scared of the threat. He may be short, but the way he lifted me up, as if I was lighter than a fucking feather, makes me think that I wouldn’t stand much of a chance against him. I’m lean, toned and tall but I could never imagine lifting someone almost twice my size without flinching. I guess I should also keep this to myself. He doesn’t seem to like when people talk about his height. Again, why do I even care? Do I have to shut my mouth and do as he says? The deal is I go there whenever he orders something to eat and hang out for a while. Doesn’t mean I have to be friendly, or even polite.

My tires screech on the asphalt as I park in front of the big doors. I ring the bell and wait. He slams the door open and grabs the collar of my shirt, glaring into my eyes, his face about an inch from mine. I would close my eyes because I’m scared as fuck right now but if I do, he’ll use the distraction to kiss me and I don’t want that.

“You’re late.” He says through gritted teeth.  
“Accident.” I whisper sheepishly.

Come on Eren, man up. What the fuck? He lets go of my shirt and I just stay there, leaning like a moron as if I was actually waiting for more. I snap out of whatever this is under Levi’s playful gaze.

“I’ll forgive you this time, since your body seems to be answering to me better than you ever will with that stupid head of yours.”  
“If you think I’ll ever surrender…” I start but he cuts me off  
“Oh you will, it’s only a matter of time.” He smirks, closing the door after roughly pulling me inside by my wrist. “Sit, I’ll bring a plate.”

I walk to the couch and sit at the same spot as yesterday. I glance back towards the kitchen and see him trying to reach a plate on the tip of his toes. I press a hand to my mouth, trying to cover my laughter. After a while I can hear a chair being pulled and I just laugh out loud without noticing.

“Shut up.” He yells from across the big room.

I get up and shake my head as I make my way to him. I raise a hand and take the plate before he even has a chance to stand on the chair. He glares at me and this time it’s not a playful glare.

“You know what? I was going to be nice and let it go for tonight.” He says, looking down at my stomach, or even lower I would say. “But…since you insist on being a little shit…”

It takes less than a second that he somehow has me pinned on the chair. What magic, what force he used to get me there? I didn’t even have time to realize. He hits my knee with his own, spreading my legs apart. I quickly slap them back together. He sighs and looks up to the ceiling as if he was beyond exasperated. In fact, I think he is.

“Fine…” He says, quickly grabbing my shoulder to force me to stay put as he roughly lets himself fall on me.

He’s straddling me. God fucking dammit, not this again.

“Do you want the food, Eren?” He asks.  
“Yes.” I reply, staring straight into his eyes in a daring way.

I don’t want him to think I’m such an easy prey, especially since I’m so not interested. Even if my dick starts to say otherwise. Body, why do you fail me now that I am trying to prove a point?

“Are you still ok with this deal?” Levi asks.  
“Yes, as long as you don’t do…this.” I say.

He laughs and brings his mouth close to my ear. I can feel his lips brush against my earlobe and it sends a shiver down my spine.

“This was the one and only time you’ll ever be late.” He asks but it’s more of an affirmation than anything else.  
“Yes.” I whisper, my breath catching in my throat as I kick my head back and feel the blood rush down my stomach.

He rolls his hips gently and slowly as if he knew how lost I had become. I gasp.

“Do you want me Eren?” He asks.  
“Yes.” I say, not realizing what word came out of my mouth.

The silence makes it easier to gather my thoughts and I quickly raise my head back up when I catch on.

“No!!” I shout. “I mean no, not like this.”

Levi sighs.

“Aww…so close.” He mutters as he gets up and hands out a hand to me. “Now, if you disobey me again…this’ll keep happening.”  
“What?” I scoff. “I have to do everything you say otherwise you’ll force me to suck your face off?”  
“Among other things.” He smirks.  
“You do realize that this is illegal and that even I, am not legal.” I say.  
“Age is just a number.” He says, grabbing the plate and walking back to the couch.”Plus, it’s not like you weren’t just about to turn 18. As of the rest, I don’t plan on forcing you to do anything… What I plan to do is make you want to. Make you beg me to.”  
“As if.” I laugh.  
“Oh you can laugh all you want, but you’ll see.” He says, gesturing to the couch before placing 3 slices of pizza on my plate and covering them with French fries.

He sits and plays with the remote he keeps calling shitty. He stops his choice on the most predictable song of the entire universe. Jason Derulo – Talk Dirty. He turns his head towards me with the most serious expression on his face but somehow I know that he’s probably joking with this, to try and make me laugh or something. I hate to admit it but…it does kind of work.

“So…” I say after placing the plate back on the coffee table. “You live alone and you have this place, you don’t even seem to work at all… So, what is it that you do for a living?”

He moves closer to me, but thankfully far enough that we are not touching at all. He crosses his legs and folds his arms.

“Have you ever heard of Raven Undergrounds?” He asks.  
“Hum… Isn’t that the largest video game company in North America?”  
“Second, in fact.”  
“What about it?” I ask, suddenly nervous.  
“Oh god you’re stupid.” He sighs. “It’s mine. The god damn company is mine.”

My sudden giggles turn into loud laughter. How can this creepy weird guy own such a brand? No way.

“As expected, you don’t believe me.” He mutters. “Let me show you, then.”  
“Show me?” I ask.

He doesn’t reply. He gets up and wraps his hands around my wrists, forcing me to follow him to that same wall where he made me question my sanity before. I look at him and he just smirks, knowing very well what came into my mind. He leads me a bit further to the left where the stairs that lead downstairs are. I follow him even though my mind is screaming to be careful, that this might be a trap, that he may very well be a psychopath, that I should totally have reported him. Damn food and your convincing powers.

He pushes the door at the bottom and there’s a kind of blue halo coming out of the room. The dimmed lights are pretty awesome and they make the atmosphere so much more calm and mellow against the charcoal gray walls. For a moment I almost thought I was in a club, until he opened some bright neon lights. I take in the room and realize that the wall opposite to the door is FILLED with video games and movies. Now it wouldn’t be so awesome if the room wasn’t that gigantic but oh my god. I squeeze my wrist out of his hand and rush to the wall. All of them, all of my favorite games that I’ve played at Armin’s place for short periods of times because I never actually had money or time to have my own. He has them all. I turn towards the TV, the 70inch TV that is blindingly huge. The blinking light of every console that ever existed under it and I’m about to fall on my knees as I really want to steal them all from him.

“Believe me now?” He asks.

I frantically nod, realizing that this place, this tiny room, must be worth thousands and thousands of dollars. The same white leather couch that was upstairs has a fluffy black copy downstairs. Much more comfortable also, I realize as I let myself bounce on it, not being careful enough. I notice Levi’s eyes on me as I’m half laying down, probably the perfect image of whatever he wants me to do. I sit up straight and stare at the corner of the room where a metallic bar goes from the floor to the ceiling.

“Is that…” I start.  
“A pole.” He finishes.

I chuckle.

“Y-You do poledancing?” I ask. I should’ve known better than to ask.  
“I do in my spare time, it’s a good workout but nobody ever comes down here so I never offered a private show if that’s what you mean.”  
“I…didn’t mean anything. I was just asking.”  
“Right.” He says, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

I stand up and walk towards a door at the back of the room, beside the stairs where we just came by and behind the couch. I turn the handle a bit before his hand stops me.

“No.” He says simply.  
“Why?” I ask. “Why am I the only one you allowed down here?”  
“Because you wouldn’t believe me.”  
“No offense, but there must be other people who haven’t believed you at first.” I add. “What about them?”  
“I don’t care about them.” He says.

In other words, I’m allowed here because he cares about me. Or is it that he cares that I’m poor and barely eat every day.

“I don’t need charity, you know.”

He quickly pushes me against the wall. Not in a friendly or loving manner this time.

“I don’t do charity.” He says. “And I don’t care about you the way you think, Brat. It’s not my fault if my little friend down there keeps reminding me that it’d be fun to hear you scream my name.”

I frown. Why is he reacting so intensely about this. I guess I must have striked a nerve or something but either way it’s clear now that what he wants, is to fuck me, nothing more. I guess I’ll play the flirting game he has going on for a while, since he seems to hate that I’m resisting and that’s all I really want to do since I have absolutely no interest in guys, especially not in him. What I’m interested in though, is the food and now the video game paradise that sits in front of me. Although, I’m curious as to what’s behind that door now. I take a chance and ask.

“So, you let me in here, where no one’s ever been…” I pause, hoping this’ll strike another cord. “But you won’t let me open that door. What’s in there?”  
“My bedroom.” He replies without hesitation.  
“I thought your bedroom was upstairs.” I say.  
“I see that you sneaked around last night.” He smirks.  
“I did not…” I sigh and then roll my eyes. “Fine I might have looked a bit.”  
“Don’t lie to me. Ever.” He orders.  
“I-I didn’t mean…”  
“It’s okay.” He says. “And yes, it’s my bedroom. One of my two bedrooms.”  
“Why do you have two?” I ask. “BDSM shit or something?”

Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.

“You’d be into that?” He asks, with a smirk as he cocks his head up to me.  
“I’m into girls…Levi.”

He laughs and it annoys me more than it should. I don’t see why I have to prove it to him anyways.

“Still…” He says. “As much as BDSM sounds interesting and as much as I like being tied up or as a matter of fact, as much as I’d like to tie YOU up, I don’t have heavy BDSM stuff going on in there. Only a few things but let’s just say this is another room that I never let anyone in.”  
“Then how do you use your ‘things’” I ask.  
“The other bedroom. I just bring whatever I need up there.”

He loosens his grip on me and for a moment, I almost forgot we were so close. He takes a step back and lets me go completely. I can’t quite keep up with my thoughts so I find myself asking more questions.

“Do you…do that often?” I ask.  
“Fuck people?” He snorts. “Every once in a while, like everyone. But not just anyone. I’m picky.”  
“I didn’t notice.” I laugh, walking back to the couch to sit.  
“Who said we were staying here?” He asks.  
“The brown hair and green eyes you’re obsessed about.” I smirk.  
“Is that so?” He says. “Sounds to me like surrendering isn’t nearly as far as you said."

I blush and sit a bit straighter as he finds the spot beside me.

“Rules.” He says.  
“Rules?” I ask, turning to him.  
“Yes. Rules. Rule #1: You won’t be late. Rule #2: You won’t ever lie to me. Rule #3: You’ll make sure to take care of yourself and eat correctly. Rule #4: You’ll always keep this place squeaky clean. And finally…”  
“Thank god, I thought this was going to take all night.”  
“Shut up. This is the most important rule.” He says as he leans closer to my face. “Rule #5: You can’t fall in love with me.”

I snort.

“Pretentious much.”  
“I am being serious.” He says with a glare. “Understood?”  
“Yes, Captain, I heard everything loud and clear.” I say as I salute like a soldier would.

A sparkle lights in his eyes and suddenly I’m a bit worried. He leans a bit closer and I pull away until my back hits the couch. I’m about to tell him to stop but he does it on his own. An inch away from my mouth, nevertheless, he does stop, to my biggest relief. He brings his gaze down between my legs and smirks.

“Yeah, you so don’t want me.” He snorts.  
“Piss off, asshole.”

He grabs the collar of my shirt and forces me to sit back up.

“At which ones of these shit games should I kick your ass?” He asks.  
“Are you for real?” I ask. “You don’t mind playing?”  
“You lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when you saw the wall. Of course I don’t mind. My goal is to get you in my bed so what would I gain in refusing you something?”

Interesting.

“So I can ask for anything?” I bluntly say.

He sighs.

“Within reasonable boundaries. Yes.”  
“Tomorrow is my day off, I want to borrow one of these and one or two games.” I say right away.  
“It’s Thursday, you have school.” He replies.  
“Detail.” I mutter. “Pretty please?”  
“You can pick it up after school.” He adds.  
“You’re so mean.” I mutter.  
“And you’re such a fucking cry baby.” He replies. “So no pizza tomorrow ugh?”

I shake my head, realizing that this means I won’t have any food for me or Mikasa. I’ll have to go grocery shopping for some veggies and at least one pack of meat if we want to last until Friday night.

“Stop frowning.” He says, pressing his thumb on my forehead. “I have this frozen fake Chinese crap that tastes nothing like the real deal. I’ll give it to you. You’ll have enough for two days.”

The silence fills the air as he stares at me with a blank expression. I look at the blinking light that reflects on the dance pole.

“Why are you doing this? Giving yourself so much trouble while you could probably have anyone you want?” I ask.  
“You just answered. I don’t want just anyone, bright eyes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): *Sweats*  
> *Waits patiently for comments*
> 
> See you some time next week...
> 
> EDIT: Do you realize that this fic (after 2 chapters) is 10 kudos away from surpassing my previous fic? lol..... Thanks? XD


	3. Soft drink, with a straw, please!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N):Hey guys!  
> Still haven’t made up my mind on which day to post. I’ll give myself another week and see how it goes next week, since But since we’re going to live here is officially over now. *sobs in a corner*… As of this chapter…Well damn, it took me about 20 minutes to decide on the title. I didn’t know if I wanted the actual food from in the chapter or if I wanted random orders sayings that maybe have a symbolic in what’s happening in the chapter. I opted for the latter… *coughs* straw *coughs*… hehehe…. Yeah okay so just know this chapter almost got named Thai-nk you, because I’m just that lame LOL… Hope you enjoy it. Comments are always appreciated and I’m really happy I got so many on this fic, it really helps to motivate me to write so please, I love feedback so feel free to leave any constructive criticism or simply fangirling lol!
> 
> Mood song: Metric – Artificial Nocturne.
> 
>  
> 
> PS: Sorry if there are any typos or words that don't work in a sentence or whatever... I should totally stop apologizing about this, I mean...you guys know already. XD

“Do you want me?” He asks.  
“Yes” I reply, knowing that I shouldn’t be agreeing, that this is wrong, this isn’t who I am. Right this instant, though, I can only find this truth inside my head, this thought that I want him to rip my shirt off the same way I want to rip his. And why fucking not?

As he’s straddling me on that god damn kitchen chair, I lift my hands to his shirt, slowly caressing the muscles that lie beneath it. He gasps, surprised that I finally decide to give in. I slide my hands between two buttons and pull so hard that you can hear them pop one by one and fall, scattered everywhere in the kitchen.

I take in the view before my eyes and lick my lips, unable to even think of trying to look away. Enough pretending. His gaze meets mine and I can see a carnal hunger in his eyes. His smile widens as he realizes that I’m not kidding. He slides his fingers under my shirt and roughly pulls it off before rushing back to press his lips on mine. It’s wild, wet and god, so hot. He presses his tongue between my lips, forcing me to grant him access inside my mouth. He explores it skillfully and eventually I find myself mimicking his movements the best I can. It pays off. I know it by the way the bulge in his pants just became a whole lot bigger.

Suddenly, he bites my bottom lip so hard that it starts to taste like blood. It doesn’t hurt though. It turned me on…so much. He angles his head and smiles, letting himself slide off me and tentatively spreading my legs open. I nod and kick my head back as he takes off my pants and then my boxers. I could be self conscious about this… about the fact that I’m stark naked in front of this guy I barely even know. For some odd reason though, I am not. In fact, the desire that burns in his eyes just makes me even more confident. Still nervous, but confident. He kisses his way up on my thigh and I can hear the faint moan escaping my lips, almost begging him to go ahead and fucking touch me already. The touch leaves me all of a sudden but his tongue slides right back on me, from the bottom to top of my length, making me harder than I could ever be. It’s almost painful. I raise my head back up. Grays meet greens and I can see the playful smile on his lips as he presses his mouth against the tip and keeps his gaze locked to mine. He stays there for a moment.

“L-Levi. Please.” I beg, not caring one bit about what I had just done.

He smiles and roughly takes me all in. I jump from the intensity of that feeling but quickly try and be still again. He seems to be adjusting to my length but once that’s out of the way, he skillfully moves his tongue around as he moves up and down, his fingers teasing my balls and crotch at the same time. It doesn’t take long, maybe 5 minutes? Tops 10 …It…it won’t take long before he brings me over the edge. Even then, I know I will be back in the game in no time because this guy is a fucking god and the things I want to do to this body…and oh…fuck… I shouldn’t have thought of that. I…I…

“Levi! I…I….I’m g-going to come.”

He hums in agreement and the vibration makes me arch my back. He notices, of course. Perhaps he even did it on purpose. He starts humming non-stop as a smile creeps up on his lips. He looks pretty fucking pleased with himself and…oh…oh…FUCK!

“LEVI!” I shout as I sit up straight.

I open my eyes and look around, confused. I’m… I’m… in my room? I realize I’m sitting in my own bed and I curse at myself for allowing such a dream to look so real. My alarm clock starts buzzing and I slam my palm against it. My heart is still pounding and I can feel the hot liquid dripping down on my stomach. I groan and lick my lips and it tastes like blood. I fucking bit myself.

“Fuck.” I sigh.

This hasn’t happened to me in a long time so why now? Especially because of him? ESPECIALLY because he’s a guy and I’m not into guys. Not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just…not for me. But this…those lips around…me… A shiver runs down my spine and I can feel myself getting hard again. I look down.

“No!” I point an angry finger at it. “No! Fuck no. I said no!”

Of course…the thing doesn’t listen to me. Of course I’ll have to take care of it in the shower and of course the only thing that’ll come to my mind now, are those eyes and these lips and that humming.

“Fuck you Levi.” I mutter against the shower door.

***

“You again.” Shadis says.  
“I got kicked out.” I mutter, leaning against the wall of my classroom.  
“Jaeger… you don’t realize the potential you have. Why do you keep on screwing it up?”

A burst of anger fills me. I step closer to him and stop an inch away from his face.

“You know nothing about me.” I snap.  
“I know that your mother wouldn’t be proud of how you’re turning.”  
“You son of a…” I say, grabbing his shirt and shoving him against the wall.

Sadly, the ruckus alerts the teacher in my classroom so here I am with a bunch of witnesses emerging behind me. I turn my attention back to Shadis because I’m already in deep shit. I raise my fist and his shirt under his throat to lift his gaze up to mine.

“You can always try and call my dad, if you can fucking find him… but don’t you dare ever say a word about my mother ever again.” I warn, raising a fist but getting stopped by non-other than superhero; Jean Kirstein. Of course, he’ll look cool, he’ll look like the good cooperative kid if he tries to calm me down. I shove his hand away and glare at him, seeing straight through his game. I let go of Shadis, turn around and start walking towards the main office, knowing my fate can’t be good now.

“Jaeger, get your butt in the Principal’s office right now.” Professor Rico shouts from behind me.

I sigh. I was already going there you idiotic bitch.

 

***

 

The door opens almost right away and Levi seems surprised to see me. Probably not as surprised as I am to see him dressed in a freaking 2000$ suit.

“H-Hi.” I stutter stupidly.

What the fuck? Get yourself together you moron. I sigh and wait for him to invite me in. He doesn’t.

“Oh…the gaming console? Right.” He says.

It hurts… That he forgot? That he doesn’t look the same? That he somehow doesn’t look as fun as last night when he was kicking my ass at every game he owns. It just…it hurts and I don’t even know why. Then again, I feel on edge today and this really sucks. That face of impassiveness in front of me is the cherry on top.

“Yes, the fucking gaming console. We’ve been gaming all night last night and I asked you about the PS3 and the zombie game.”  
“Hey” He says, raising a hand to me. “Someone peed in your cereals or something? Calm the fuck down. I have a headache and you’re making it worse.”

He gestures for me to come in. Finally. I lean against the door as it closes behind me.

“Let me go get changed and then I’ll get your stuff.” He says, slowly undoing his tie. “You’re early?”  
“Yeah, whatever.” I mutter.  
“If you missed school for this, I’m going to…”  
“You’re going to what?” I snap. “You’re not my dad and I’m not your property.”

A shadow appears in his eyes and in less than a second he’s pinning me against the door. Gripping my shoulders harshly.

“First of all, you are not my property, indeed.” He sighs. “Second of all, I have no interest in being your dad because that would keep me from fucking you and that’s pretty much all I want to do. And finally, whatever happened today that just made you blow up a fuse, know that I have had an even shittier day so please, shut the fuck up already and suck it up just like I do. Unless you’d like to suck something else as a distraction, which I’m totally open to.”

He raises a questioning eyebrow. I sigh and shake my head.

“Sorry.”  
“No need to apologize, kid. Just don’t talk to me like that. Ever.” He says, visibly hurt… but why? Why would my words or tone even matter to him. I’m an object of desire to him, that is all.

He climbs up the stairs and leaves me there. I twiddle my thumbs, regretting the harsh words I had for him. He didn’t deserve those. He comes back down a moment later dressed in black slacks only. My gaze unconsciously follows every traits of his stomach and chest, up to his lips. He smirks.

“Sorry.” I repeat.  
“Enough apologizing.” He says.

***

Half an hour later, I’m crossing the door with the console and game in my hands. I wave back at Levi but the stops me.

“Where’s your car?” He asks, glancing around the driveway.  
“I can’t afford gas for the car except for work. I jog to school.” I admit shyly.  
“You…you fucking ran from your school to here?” He asks, wide-eyed.  
“Yeah, mostly walked, took about an hour.” I mutter.

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He turns around but leaves the door open. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I wait for a moment and I’m about to leave when he comes out with a black shirt on. He grabs keys, car keys, I assume, and then gestures for me to follow him.

“I can walk just fine.” I say. “I’m not going to jog with it if that’s what you’re worried about.”  
“I’m not going to let you walk around in the street with my PS3 in your hands you idiot.”  
“But you don’t know…” I start but stop myself.

Where I live…Yeah I forgot that he knows. The garage door opens as I follow him. A beautiful dark blue Tesla is parked inside of it. I’m excited for a moment but then he hands me a helmet and I start to panic. No…not a bike. I hate bikes. I’m scared of bikes.

“Can’t we…take the car?” I ask.  
“No, Princess, we’re taking the bike.” He replies.

I sigh and put the helmet on. I pick the stuff back up and walk towards what I assume to be a bike. Levi pulls on the cover and I freak out, it’s got style. It’s a black Ducati 999. I can tell you that much because if there is one bike I like it’s gotta be this one.

“Close your mouth, Brat.”  
“Shut up.” I say. “I still don’t like riding those.”  
“I’ll be gentle.” He smirks, snapping the visor of his helmet shut.

I narrow my eyebrows and can’t help a smile. I slowly take place behind him. 

“How am I supposed to hold on?” I ask.

He shakes his head and fires up the engine. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around him, securing the console between my legs and elbows and praying for my life that it won’t fall. If anything I’ll just blame him for not wanting to take the car.

He pulls it forward and I squeak like a teenage girl as we make our way out and onto the road. 

 

***

Now, he drives very well, but I still don’t think this was –gentle- … I get off the seat and pray for none of my neighbors to see me getting off a bike, from behind a much older guy.

“Thanks” I say, turning around to walk to the door.  
“No good night kiss?” He asks.

I swiftly turn around and glare at him.

“Shut up! I’m not gay.” I murmur.  
“If you’re not gay, it won’t matter to them if I come in.” He says, pointing at one of my neighbors, looking outside through their sliding doors.

Fuck.

“Fine, whatever. You never listen to me anyways so why not do what you want. Sure, come on over.”  
“I appreciate the sarcasm, even more so that it makes it sound as if we’ve been in a relationship for 10 years. Thank god this isn’t where we’re heading.”

I pull my tongue out to him and glare.

“Childish move.”  
“Are you fucking coming or what?” I ask not waiting for the answer as I walk up to the door and unlock it.

He slides his foot in just in time before the door closes.

“Charming.” He notes.  
“Thanks for listing all my qualities, really. Like I didn’t get enough of that today.” I sigh. “Plus, I’m not trying to be.”

I climb the set of stairs and he follows silently behind me. He’s going to see just how bad our situation is and maybe that’ll make him want to finally let go of whatever he wanted to have with me. I push open the door, knowing that Mikasa is already gone to her second job.

I gesture for him to come in.

“Hell hole, this is Levi. Levi, this is our hell hole.” I sigh.

He barely even looks around because his mind is reeling.

“Our?” He asks.

I smirk. Jealous? Really?

“My sister and I.” I reply.  
“I see…”

I can see the tension leaving his body as he takes a couple more steps in and walks over to that Jurassic TV we have. He doesn’t look like he cares that the place is tiny. He doesn’t even comment on it.

“I’m not even sure we can plug it.” I mutter.  
“I brought an adapter.” He says, pulling it out of his pocket.

He walks towards it and starts to unplug wires and eventually orders me to bring the PS3. I do and then sit on the couch waiting for him to finish. In the meantime, I find myself staring at his muscular figure more than once as he crouches under and leans over the TV and it’s quite disturbing, especially after that dream I had. 

When he stands back up, he’s holding out his hands as if he touched something dirty. Yeah his house is really tidy so of course he’s not use to that. He walks to the kitchen sink, about two meters away from me and when he comes back from washing his hands, he runs his fingers through his hair to slick them back. The untamable hair falls right back into place but my jaw doesn’t. Sadly, Levi notices and repeats the move. I blink and look away as he sits next to me. A bit too close, but that’s the couch’s fault. His leg is brushing against mine and I’m trying hard not to think of that dream again. I don’t want that. He’s an asshole. He’s toying with me. He’s a guy and he’s old. And I don’t like guys… I don’t want…

“So…” He starts. “What got you all PMSing on me today?”  
“I’m not…” I sigh, knowing he won’t drop the subject. “I got suspended.”

His eyes widen and I can feel him shift as he turns his body towards me instead of the TV. Fuck.

“Why?” He simply asks.  
“Because…” I mutter. “Because I’m ‘The fuck up’… what else? That’s what I do, I fuck up.”  
“You’re not a fuck up, kid.” He replies right away.  
It makes me as happy as it angers me to hear that from him. He doesn’t know just how much it’s true, in a way. Then again, he doesn’t seem like an angel either so I guess we’re even.  
“I am, but that’s not the point. I got suspended because there’s this teacher that hates me.” I continue. “And…and… he said my mom wouldn’t be proud of who I am growing to be… so I totally lost it and shoved him against the wall.”  
“An asshole, indeed.” Levi smiles. “Was he scared?”

I turn to him and send him an incredulous look. Really? He approves of that?

“He blinked rapidly and gasped…so I’d say yeah” I grin.  
“Good.” He says. “Now I don’t approve of you fighting with a god damn teacher. BUT I understand why you did it. That, I approve of.”  
“Thanks, dad.” I say, elbowing his side.  
“Tch.”

He presses the power button on the controller and we wait for the screen to adjust. It is really shitty and I can’t quite figure out how I’m going to even manage to read what I have to do. Fuck this. Fuck being poor and fuck this TV. Can’t I have anything for once? Levi changes the settings so we can see a bit better now but it still looks like shit.

“You hungry?” He asks after a while of waiting for the game to load.  
“I have the Chinese food you gave me.” I say, because yes that’s all I have and a couple of apples. Perhaps some peanut butter somewhere but that’s not much of a meal on its own.  
“I meant that I’d order us something.” He clarifies.  
“I’ll pay half.” I add.

He refuses.

“Look, this won’t get me in your bed any faster. Let me pay my part.” I add.  
“Faster?” He angles his head at me.

I blush and I hate this. I hate the fact that I’m blushing and that even my own fucking body is betraying me every occasion it has.

“I’m ordering. I’m paying.” He says sternly. “Why? Because I forced you to invite me in. Here’s why. So shut up.”

He pulls out his phone and places an order of Thai food, not hearing even an ounce of my protests.

“You ass.” I say as he hangs up.  
“My pleasure.”

***

“What about you?” I ask as I scrub the bottom of my box for any piece of food left. “What happened today?”

He presses a napkin to his lips and god why am I looking at those lips. I take a cushion and shove it on my lap, pretending to use it to place my food box on top of it. Breathe Eren…breathe…you don’t want this men. You don’t want him because he is old. He is not even hot. Yeah no, that’s the biggest lie I ever told myself. I may not be gay but I can admit that Levi is probably the sexiest dude I’ve ever seen.

“The last two games that came out are a complete flop and we are losing money every fucking day. The investors are onto my ass and they want me to quit. As if I’ll ever quit my own company.” He sighs. “I just need one good idea. Just one that would surpass all the other games out there. One that will bring teenagers like you to WANT to miss school for a day just to play a shitty game.”

I’m not even sure what to answer to that. It’s, indeed, a shitty day he’s had. I wipe my hands on my pants and drink a bit of water before resting my back against the couch, momentarily forgetting that this might look inviting to others. Others being Levi. I sit up straight but he hasn’t moved, still lost in his thoughts.

“Y-You’ll find a way. I’m sure you will because I know how determined you can be.” I smirk, trying to lift up his mood.

He raises his gaze to me. He opens his mouth and closes it. He must have had a snarky or sarcastic comment ready but he chooses not to use it.

“Thanks, bright eyes.” He says instead.  
“My pleasure.” I say, sincerely happy that it helped.

Helping someone feel better has to be the best anti-depressant in the world. I’m serious. And I can pretty much count on my hands the number of times I’ve been able to do that for someone. My gaze meets his again and he doesn’t look away. I want to turn towards the TV but I can’t. Somehow those eyes keep me in place and I can’t quite find the strength to break the eye contact. I know where this’ll lead and I really don’t want him to force this on me. I’m not… I don’t want… I don’t want him. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t force it on me, and I’m grateful for that. The thing is, it’s me who starts leaning forward and I barely even realize it until I’m an inch away from his face. I blink rapidly, probably as much as Shadis did. Yes I’m fucking scared in that instant and you know what? Just a kiss can’t hurt. I’ll decide what to do after. A kiss doesn’t make you gay anyways. My lips brush against his when suddenly the door opens.

SHIT! OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Levi looks as impassive as always and hasn’t even moved. He turns his head to the door and meets Mikasa’s gaze. My heart is hammering against my chest and I could probably faint from how scared I was a second ago.

“Who’s this?” Mikasa asks with a tired tone.  
“A-A…”I stutter.  
“I’m Levi.” He says, holding out a hand over the couch. “One of Eren’s friends. I lent him my PS3 for a while and I came over to plug it so I brought food and all.”  
“I see…” She says, glaring at me.  
“Want some?” Levi asks, pointing at the 3rd box he ordered ‘by mistake’… I knew it was for her.

Her eyes light up but she doesn’t let it show on the rest of her face.

“Sure, why not?” She sighs. “Thanks, I’ll go shower and eat this in bed. See you later…hum…Levi?”

He simply nods.

“Night Eren.” She says.  
“Night.”

I wait until her door’s closed before I let myself fall on my back, panting from whatever stress I was holding in.

“Oh my god…” I whisper.

Nothing but silence answers me. I sit back up and look at Levi.

“That was close.” He says.

And I know this phrase has two sides to it. Close to kissing him and close to being caught. What the fuck was I even thinking?

“Yeah…that was close.” I admit turning my head towards the T.yranosaurus V in front of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Gosh that was close. But sadly, Eren isn’t gay. Or is he? Maybe you’ll know more next chapter… I wonder what he’ll dream about tonight… ;)


	4. Jalapeño Topping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Surprise! Again?  
> Yeah…I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to have steady postings of chapters with this story. You can expect MINIMUM one chapter per week. Because I am so into it that I can write non-stop…therefore… Here you get another chapter because I really, really can’t wait to post it… and you’ll understand why XD. Now… Every single one of you who reads this chapter, I want a comment at the end of it. Lol… Just because I can ask that, I can… right? Lol… This is kind of a short chapter, the next one will be longer.
> 
> Songs of this chapter:  
> Beyonce – Crazy in love (fifty shades of grey version)  
> Genuine – Pony *wink wink nudge nudge*

It’s been a little over two weeks and he’s been ordering something every night. I’ve never felt so good in my entire life, not having to worry about food or even anything else because he was there. He might’ve had his own reasons to be there, which I still didn’t agree to, but he was there. Every single day, he was there and that alone, meant a lot to me. I’ve grown to like the man. As a friend, obviously. He always keeps me on edge, I never know what he’s going to do or even what I am going to do. I’ve had more dreams too but I won’t be telling him that, of course. I’m having a hard time accepting the fact too, because I can’t deny it anymore, that I do want him to a certain extent. I’m a virgin for that part though, so I have no idea how it works and the only thought in my mind is…no matter how much pleasurable it seems in my head, it’s going to hurt if I ever decide to let myself do this. I’ve heard that much from people, that it hurts at first, and I have…been looking at some stuff on my phone. Just…just to have an idea, you know… It’s scary and the fact that my head keeps telling me how much I don’t want that, doesn’t help at all. I just don’t know if it’s something I’m willing to do. I just don’t know if it’s him, his looks, his voice, his way of talking to me that makes me act like this. I don’t know what to do now so I just keep on doing what I do. I think I’m more worried now that he’ll get tired of me using him. Because yes, that’s what I’m doing… I’m eating, playing video games, talking, laughing and yet I give him nothing in return. Except for that night where I almost kissed him, which is probably why he’s still holding on.

I raise my gaze up from the plate of sushis and stare at him. He hasn’t eaten anything, not even the pizza he ordered. But I guess he’s tired of fast food, which is why he buys other stuff too.

“You know…” I hesitate but choose to continue. “You don’t have to order from my workplace anymore. I’ll still come over… if you want me to.”

He smirks, as if he knew I was going to say that. Am I that transparent?

“I want you to, but then what’s the guarantee you’ll come back?” He asks.  
“Well if I don’t, you can always call for a Pizza again.” I smile. “But I will…”

He picks up a California roll and shoves it in his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine. Eventually, his expression changes…for something more serious. Something more business-like. Something I rarely see from him.

“You know I’ll eventually grow bored of these games? Right.”

I gasp and almost spit the food out. In that instant, I want to punch him… Punch him so hard that something will break. Because I can’t believe he would try to push me to make a decision while I’m not even sure who I am and what I want anymore. I definitely didn’t expect him to be…so casual about this. As if it was nothing…as if it meant nothing. We’re talking about giving myself up to him completely so why is he taking this so lightly? I frown and he definitely notices the shift in my mood.

“Then you can find someone else. I’m just a piece of ass after all.” I reply, trying to hide the anger from my face by lowering my gaze but I’ve never been good at faking emotions.  
“I didn’t mean it that way, kid.” He sighs. “I’m just not sure anymore if you’ll ever want to and I don’t want to waste my time or… hurt myself.”

My eyes dart to him.

“Hurt yourself?” I ask.  
“Well, I’ve grown to like you in my day to day routine and I don’t want to get attached if this is going nowhere.”  
“A-Attached?” I stutter. “As in…”  
“No.” He shakes his head and waves his hand. “Not as in a relationship…just… I don’t know. Friends with benefits I guess.”

I sigh.

“So you’re telling me that we can’t be friends if we don’t fuck?” I say.  
“Again, that’s not what I meant.” He says.  
“Then what do you fucking mean, Levi? I’m lost here and it doesn’t help that you’re pressuring me. I don’t…” I clench my fists and slam them on my thighs. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

He raises an eyebrow, realizing what the last sentence might mean. He chuckles and it angers me even more.

“Eren.” He says, gently taping a finger on my forehead. “You know what you want, your body knows. It’s that stubborn mind of yours who tells you no.”  
“Maybe so…” I say.  
“Then why? Is being gay a bad thing? Or is it me?”

Low blow. I can’t stay silent cause that would be misinterpreted and he knows that, he’s a manipulative asshole and he’s really good at it. Then again, to be such a business man, I guess you have to know how to bluff and play your cards well, which is exactly what he’s doing with me. But is this really all that I am? A transaction he wants to be sure to win? But then he wouldn’t be so eager to know if the problem is him. And it’s not…there is no problem. I am the problem because I can’t do that.

“Of course not! It’s perfectly fine…it’s just…it’s just I like girls, I always have.” I reply, choosing to ignore the question about him, which doesn’t go unnoticed.  
“So you don’t like me then…” He says with this impassive face that I’ve learned to partially read. It’s a test.  
“I…I…” I start but I can’t quite find the words so I just resolve to tear out my hair and growl instead.

Until his hands stops me.

“Calm down. I have an idea.” He says.  
“Should this be reassuring? Because it isn’t.”

He laughs and pulls on my wrists, forcing me to follow him downstairs. I hope he’s not bringing me to his bedroom because I can’t do that.  
He doesn’t. He makes me sit on the couch and walks to the wall. He comes back with two blu-rays. He puts one in and comes back to sit beside me. A bit too close but I guess it has something to do with his idea.

“I am not watching porn with you, Levi.”  
“Not really.” He laughs. “If I can’t bring you to your senses, I’ll see if a movie or two can do the job.”

I turn my head back to the TV and see the familiar faces on screen. Not this again.

“I’ve seen 50 shades of grey at least 25 times because Mikasa has a thing for Jamie Dornan.”  
“Yes but you are watching it with me, it’s not the same.”

And suddenly a shiver runs through me. Does this mean we’ll end up making out 50 shades style? Cause if I’m not even ready for a kiss, I’m not sure I can have my hands tied with a tie just yet either. _Yet…_ I even say it to myself now… as if it was inevitable. Indeed, I always have a choice but it just seems like I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t even know what I want. It’s those dreams that confused me the most. The movie goes on and slowly, I feel Levi’s head leaning down to rest on my shoulder. It’s okay Eren. It’s okay. It’s just… a friend can do that. It’s fine.

“Look at her. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” He comments.

I can see right through what he’s trying to do… This girl is plain to me and I’m 100% sure that she is to him too. He just wants to prove a point.

“Meh.” I reply, because quite frankly she’s not my style.  
“Not your style, I see.” He says, reading my mind. “What about him then?”  
“Levi!” I warn. I knew he’d do that.  
“Just asking.” He says before humming that Beyonce song and I feel his lips move before I hear a faint trace of words flowing out of his mouth.“…such a funny thing for me to try to explain, how i'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame…”

I keep my mouth shut. The curiosity is pushing me to over think this and I should just focus on the movie cause that’s what he wants me to do. As the end credits starts to roll, he raises his head and whistles two notes that illuminates the room with the blue lights again.

“So?” He asks, turning to me. “Turned on yet?”  
“Not so much.” I laugh. “Ok, maybe a tiny bit but I swear it’s cause of the girl.”  
“Right.” He says. “The girl that’s not your style.”

In fact, it has nothing to do with this shitty movie, it’s him against my shoulder but like hell if I’m going to say that out loud. It’s already a big deal that my mind allows me to admit that to my own self.

“Round 2…then.” He says as he gets up and switches the blu-rays. 

He comes back to sit and he has a pleased smirk on his face, which I really want to erase because this can’t be a good sign. The opening starts and I don’t really realize what it is…at least for a while, but when I do.

“NO!” I shout. “No. You’re not making me watch Magic Mike.”  
“Why not?” He asks. “Just pretend it’s me.”  
“I don’t want that either.” I scoff. “Now I see why you have a pole.”  
“Shut up and watch.” He says, slapping the back of my head.

I sigh and reluctantly fix my gaze on the TV as Levi’s head finds its way back to my shoulder. After a while, considering it’s now 1am, I can feel my head lean against his and my eyes slowly close, when suddenly, I feel a slap on my thigh.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep on me. It’s Friday, you can sleep tomorrow. Tonight you’re mine.” He says sternly.  
“Alright, Captain.” I whisper in a yawn.

His head leaves my shoulder and he turns towards me, slowly placing one hand on each side of me on the couch. The tension between us intensifies and I don’t want him to lean in. Or perhaps I do… But I don’t. I do not want to kiss him so I slowly shake my head and he pulls away. He gets up and starts walking away.

“Levi…I…” I start, trying to explain myself…but how? What can I even say?

I thought he was leaving to go upstairs but he comes back with a remote instead. He presses a button and Magic Mike is now playing through loud speakers in each corners of the room. I look around, wondering what the fuck is going on. My eyes widen because Channing Tatum is dancing but I’m only looking at Levi who makes his way to the pole. He wraps himself around it and slowly glides to the floor and back up. After that, he climbs the highest he can and lets his body arch down, raising his shirt up in the process, exposing his stomach to my confused green eyes. 

“So…you don’t want me at all… right?” He asks, gazing at me upside down. “You are not gay at all, not even for a night…right?”

He folds his arms and it’s quite a funny view but I’m too absorbed by his stomach and/or gaze to think about laughing.

“I’m not gay.” I say.

“Tch.” He says as he swiftly turns himself back up and glides back to his feet, making sure that his back arches against the pole before he starts walking towards me. He stops a meter away and throws the remote on the couch. He skipped a few scenes and all of a sudden he dances. He fucking dances. Now, I haven’t really watched Magic Mike but I did see clips online and I saw girls flipping over how Channing Tatum danced to Pony, the Genuine song. I had no idea. I had no idea how it really was, but Levi… Levi knows every fucking moves of this choreography which he performs in perfect sync with Tatum as the music bangs loudly in my ears. I don’t even attempt to look down because I know my pants are way too tight right now and the reason is this guy in front of me who moves like a freaking god. I sit up a bit more straight and pull on my pants, to give myself some space, which earns me a playful glare from Levi. Well shit, I am screwed. Right now though, it’s the last thing I care about because just as Magic Mike picks up a girl from a chair, Levi, instead, sits on me. He’s still following the moves and dancing, hovering above me and momentarily rolling his hips closer to send some light friction between us. His gaze never leaving mine, he angles his head.

“Still not gay?” He asks.  
“Not.” Is the only word I can pull out of my mouth as I feel myself losing control.

Levi seems pleased with my answer and I don’t understand why, it’s the opposite of what he wants. To be honest, it might be the opposite of what I want too. I just don’t know anymore. But that’s because he knows what’s coming. He looks behind him for confirmation as Channing jumps on the girl and starts rolling his hips on her. He turns back to me and smirks. He does the same but this time there’s no space between us. And that’s when I lose it. The will to fight it. The will to fight against what I actually want. I groan and roughly grip his ass as my gaze goes from confused to a carnal glare. His eyes widen in surprise and it morphs into a huge grin, until I raise him up and flip him on his back. I grab his wrists and pin them above his head. For once, it’s him who looks confused.

“I am done playing too.” I murmur before pressing my lips roughly, wildly against his. 

Our tongues meet the same way they had in the dream, making me feel exactly the same way, as if a fire was raging through me, as if I couldn’t contain everything I feel anymore. After a while, I let go of Levi’s wrists to slide my hand under his shirt. Those perfect muscles under my fingers make me go insane and the playful smirk on his face doesn’t help.

“Not gay ugh?” He says.  
“Not gay.” I confirm. “But like hell if I’m not going to make every inch of you mine.”  
“Promise?”  
“Fuck yes.” I say before joining our lips again in a wild embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Bet ya’ll are very happy right now… Oh but wait…this doesn’t mean that Eren is giving in just yet………, only partially ;) You’ll have to wait and see.


	5. Mayonnaise on the side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Hi! ^_^ Here you get another one (I assume you've been waiting for that one). 18+ ...
> 
> Also, I'll just warn you that I won't be updating until next week this time. I have tendinitis on my left wrist and it starts to hurt again so I don't want to push it too hard. This chapter was supposed to have another scene at the end related to Mikasa and tutoring but you'll get that in next chapter since my wrist is kinda painful right now lol... Anyways enjoy this, I'm sure you will. I'll be checking my typos tomorrow since its late here and I can barely see what I type lol.
> 
> Not forcing you to comments, but reminding you that I really appreciate all of them <3 I love feedback.
> 
> Mood song: The weeknd - High for this (that beat maaaaan.... yummy)

I lower my hips and slowly grind against him, earning a loud gasp.

“Let’s go upstairs.” He pants in my ear.

I nod and even I, am surprised at the lack of hesitation on my part. To be honest, how could I even turn this down? Just look at him. Now, it doesn’t mean I’m gay or that I’ll have anything else to do with a man…like ever…but this men though…is the only exception. Somehow, when I’m around him, I can feel some kind of electricity between us and I’ve never felt that before, not even with girls. So I might be scared, but I know this is more than promising.

I get up and soon enough he’s on his feet, leading me up the two flight of stairs to the bedroom. As we reach the door, I don’t give him time to open it. My heart is hammering in my chest and I may be awkward at this but I want to at least try. I grab his shoulder and turn him around. I press myself against him, banging his head on the wall.

“Sorry Le..”

He doesn’t let me finish, his lips are back on mine and he groans loudly, making another shiver run through me. I don’t give a shit what he’ll say; I pick him up and forcefully wrap his legs around my waist before pressing him back on the wall.

“Open the fucking door.” He orders and I can’t help but obey.

We almost trip inside as I can’t see anything because of the raven hair blocking my vision and the soft lips parting mine open. I tentatively walk around until my knees finally hit the bed. I slowly put him down on it and climb back on top of him. His strong arms wrap around me and his hands glide down my back. I gasp as his fingers lift the hem of my pants to let his palms slide in and roughly grip my ass to press me even further down on him.

“Perfect…” He whispers in a breath.

And I’m pretty sure, if I was less preoccupied by everything that’s going on, that I’d notice a crimson red tint to my usual tanned tone. I don’t know how to talk to girls though, so how am I supposed to talk to a guy about how fucking beautiful he is. I can’t say just that. I can’t tell him he’s perfect either, even though he is way closer to it than I will ever be.

“Stop frowning.” He says and I immediately comply.

I start focusing on his shirt and how much I want to take it off. Not that those kisses aren’t the best thing I’ve ever experienced (and he’ll definitely never know that), but I just feel like I need more. I need way more. I tug on the bottom of it and he nods imperceptibly. I move quickly and part my legs on each side of him, I let myself sit and take in the view of Levi just laying there under me, ready for whatever this is we’re about to do and I fucking want to. I really fucking want to. It might make me a liar, for saying this isn’t for me, but so be it. I could never reject this.

“Quit staring.” He says as the blood rushes to my cheeks again.

He sits up straight and wraps his arms around me, pressing me down on him. Fuck. I can’t help but arch myself a little at the sensation, my face twisting into a too pleased expression. I bite my bottom lip as my gaze meets his again and he glares at me.

“I won’t be able to take it slow if you do that.” He says, staring at my tucked in lip.

I let it go right away but then…bite it again.

“Shitty Brat.” He smirks, pulling my shirt off in one swift movement.

His eyes darting down to my chest and detailing every inch of muscles I have, makes me even more confident. While it should be the opposite and I should be complaining that he still has his shirt on, I find myself wanting to tease him a bit more first. I raise myself up, bringing my stomach closer to his beautiful gray orbs, before I come back down again in a very very very slow pace and I repeat that a few times. The impassiveness is back on his face and he just watches as I move up and down on him. It’s nothing big, nothing special, not even close to being as sexy as I know I could be but it’s that little move that drives him to the border of insanity that makes him slowly lick his lips before grabbing my wrist and shoving me onto the bed. It takes less than a second for him to be on top of me.

“Stop teasing me because I swear I won’t hold back if you keep on doing that.”

I smirk, turning my head as I stretch and expose my neck to him. I glance at his face from the side. A clenched jaw and a wild glare meeting my own.

“Maybe I don’t want you to?” I whisper.

His hands wrap around my wrists and he pins them above my head.

“Say that again?” Levi orders.

I raise my head, brushing my lips against his as our gazes lock.

“I don’t want you to.”

He smirks and sits up straight. His shirt flies across the room and I can’t help but let my hands glide freely on the perfect porcelain skin in front of me.

“Fuck! You’re hot.” I say, realizing too late that I let it slip. It’s out now, the fact that I like him. Well…his body.

He leans down on me, ready for our lips to join again as my hands detail every inch of him, but then he abruptly stops.

“Your pocket is vibrating.” He says.  
“A text…I don’t care.”  
“What if it’s important?” He asks.  
“Don’t care.” I whisper, roughly pulling on his neck.

He kisses me wildly as our bodies grind against each other. Eventually, his lips travel down my jaw, neck, collarbones (which he fucking bites) and then he stops as he notices the birth mark where my heart is. I slide my fingers in his hair, trying to distract him from how ugly it is, from how much it looks like a cut. He moves on and keeps travelling down, his tongue making its way between my abs until he reaches my pants. He starts undoing my belt and pulls hard on the buckle as if it was his enemy, when suddenly, my phone rings. I hear a sigh.

“Answer it.” Levi says.  
“No need.” I reply.  
“Answer it or I will.”  
“Alright. Fuck. Alright.”

I get up and fetch my phone in my pocket before my pants slide down to the floor on their own, leaving me in nothing else than a pair of boxers. Levi’s arms wrap around me from behind as I take the call. 

“What?” I say.  
“Eren? Where are you? It’s the middle of the night.” Mikasa asks.  
“At a friend’s place.”  
“Come back home, we need to talk about your French class.”  
“I can’t, I’m with someone.” I reply honestly.  
“With who?” She asks, her tone suddenly harsh.  
“Someone. I’m seeing someone okay? It’s none of your business what I do.”  
“You’re not 18 yet, so yes it is. Get back here right now!”  
“NO!” I shout and I can feel Levi’s arms slide off of me but I grab his wrist and pull him back close to me. “Look, we can talk in the morning. Good night.”

I hang up. And I know I’ll pay for this later. The question is: do I care right now? No, I really don’t. I turn to meet Levi’s confused look.

“Seeing someone?” He asks. “French class? Staying the night? Eren…”  
“Look, I failed a test in my French class, it’s no big deal. And I won’t stay the night, I’ll just sleep in my car, you don’t have to worry about seeing my face in the morning. As of ‘seeing someone’; It’ll be easier to explain than ‘I have a fuck buddy so I’m going to his place’, alright? Just… Whatever.”

I let go of his wrist and walk back to the bed to sit. I press my palms on my eyes, all trace of excitement now leaving my body. Why did she have to call now? When I was going to do it… Fuck, maybe it’s a sign.

I feel a hand on my arm and instantly look up.

“Would it help if you had a tutor in French?” He asks.  
“I guess so, but good luck finding one of those around here.” I mutter, lowering my gaze to his chest. Where he…

Where he has a birthmark that looks similar to mine, it looks like a scar…I’m about to ask him why he has that, when he speaks.

“I know a few. Comme moi, par exemple.”

My gaze shoots back up to his.

“Did you..Did you just speak French?”  
“I might have.” He says.

The foreign language he seems to speak so fluently brings the tightness back between my legs. Having him as a tutor would be great, especially for all the other things we could do. Then again, I’m not even sure yet if I’ll like that. I know that right now it’s all I can think of, though.

“And…” He adds. “As long as you respect rule #5, you can sleep in this bed.”  
“Are you sure?” I frown. “I mean, you said it yourself, I’m just a brat and I know I’m a fuck up and all so it’s fine by me if you want nothing more than a quick fuck once in a while.”

He taps under my chin and forces me to look at his stern posture. He crosses his arms.

“First of all, quit saying you’re a fuck up. Eren Jaeger is not a fuck up.” He says. “Second of all, if I say you can sleep in this bed, you can sleep in the fucking bed, stop questioning what I say. And lastly, I don’t do anything ‘quick’ and you are not a whore, we will keep hanging out until you can no longer do just that.”  
“Just what?” I ask. “Hang out?”  
“Being friends with benefits.” He says.  
“I’ll be fine.” I laugh. “I’m not going to fall in love with you, shorty.”  
“Beg your pardon?” He glares.

I wink. Why? Because I like to think that my life isn’t worth living anyways, so if he kills me, then at least I’ll be killed by the hot pepperoni guy.  
I’m surprised, when he falls to his knees instead, and makes his way between my legs.

“Oh you want to play, I see. Then you will fucking wait and beg me to fuck you.”  
“I have already done that.” I note.  
“That wasn’t nearly enough.” He says. “Let me give you a preview and then you’ll see.”  
“So we’re not going to…”  
“No. Not tonight. Not after all this.”  
“It’s nothing.” I assure him. “I’m finally giving in and you don’t want to?”  
“Indeed, but you called me shorty. Alors tu vas attendre!”  
“I can’t understand you.” I mutter.  
“Good.” He says.

He pulls off my boxers and I can only watch as my cock springs free. His gaze moves up and down and details every inch of it before he licks his lips and slowly brings them to it. He gives a gentle kiss to the tip, making my breath catch in my throat.

“First time?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

I nod, blushing from head to toe. Nope, never had one of those. Don’t know what to expect.

“I’ll make it worthwhile.” Levi says.

And he does. Oh my fucking god he does. I can’t control myself as he slowly takes me in. I moan and I can feel my cock twitch in his mouth from the little moves he does with his tongue. He knows exactly where to touch me and it’s unnerving because I can’t do the same to him…at least for now but I’ll make sure and learn from what he does. I blink a couple of times, almost tempted to pinch myself because it’s exactly like in that dream I had, only better. He adjusts himself to my length and I can already see that I definitely can’t fit in his mouth. But I’m so wrong. I am so wrong. He takes a deep breath and I can feel him push harder until I reach the back of his throat. He slowly moves back up and then down and deeper. He doesn’t stop until his nose brushes against my skin. Then, he picks up a pace and if I was already dizzy and completely lost in pleasure before, now I’m just a plain mess of moans and groans. I grip at the bed sheets, not knowing what else to do as all I want is to grab his head and pull his hair. After a while, I can feel him shift between my legs. I look back to him and see that he is searching his pockets, without ever stopping to move his extremely skillful tongue. He pulls out a bottle of lube and I’m tempted to laugh at the fact that he carries this around in his house. Or perhaps he carries this around when I’m here.

“I thought we weren’t…” I start but then he does what drives me crazy. He fucking moans.

The vibration of his “mhm” is my main preoccupation. I don’t even have time to wonder if it meant we’re actually doing it or if he has something else in mind. He pulls me out of his mouth and stares at me.

“Lay down and spread your legs open for me.”  
“What if I don’t?” I ask.  
“I won’t use this.” He says, pointing the bottle of lube that lies on the bed.

That’s a warning I take seriously so I obey and lay down. Levi climbs up and kneels between my legs. He pops the bottle open and covers 2 of his fingers with lube. He throws the bottle aside as his other hand starts stroking me. He brings his mouth back there and takes me all in once more, making me arch myself and spread my legs even wider. Do it! Fucking do it already! I can feel a finger brush against my entrance and I’m tempted to verbalize my needs but he knows what he’s doing. I trust him so I shut up instead. He moans and the sensation feels less enjoyable than earlier and I don’t understand why… until I realize that there’s something down there. He presses even deeper as his mouth continues to move up and down.

“Ouch!” I say.

Levi stops.

“It won’t hurt for long.” He says. “Focus on the pleasure you’re dick is feeling and then, once I find it, you’ll be grateful that I didn’t stop.”  
“Find what?” I ask.  
“You’ll see.” He says.

Once again, his mouth is back around me and I take a deep breath, trying to focus on only this part as his finger pushes a bit deeper again. I wince but then I realize that his whole finger is in and I kind of take it as a tiny victory. I smile and I can see a smirk creep up on his lips around me. Our gazes lock and that’s when I feel a second finger come it. Now that one is much much more painful than the first one. I raise myself on my elbows but Levi shakes his head lightly. I take a deep breath again and focus on the fun part, since he’s making a point of making it so good, I can’t let it go to waste. I shut the parts of my brain that tells me it hurts and suck it in. I grip the bed sheets and bite my bottom lip. Levi presses the second finger even deeper and I wince again as my fists clench. Your cock, Eren, think of your cock. It works, partially. It’s kind of an uncomfortable feeling now, it feels weird. Levi slowly starts moving his two fingers and eventually separates them. I stare at him and he just nods again. Stretching, I think that’s what they call it. It’s not really as painful as it was a few minutes ago, especially since Levi makes me lose my mind with his out of this world blow job. Once he deems I’m stretched enough, I kind of expect him to take off his pants and finally take me but he doesn’t. Instead, he starts moving his fingers around as he pulls in and out of me, never stopping to move his mouth and I have to admit this is bringing me closer to the edge by the minute. His eyes meet mine and I’m just about to smile when something happens to me. It’s silly, but it’s like my body acts on its own. My breathing accelerates, my heart slams against my chest. I arch my back and my hips move up on their own, forcing Levi to pull me out of his mouth. It’s like an electric chock went through me and I look at Levi who has a pleased smirk on his face. He slides his fingers in again and there it is once more. I groan.

“L-LEVI! OH… fuck… oh.” I can’t help but say it. Because I need this uncontrollable pleasure to be somewhat tangible and words are the only thing I can cling to. “Do it again!”  
“Ah…begging already.” Levi says.  
“Yes, very fucking much! Do that again. And again. And again.” I beg.

He lowers himself down and his mouth takes me for one last time and he pushes as deep as he can against his throat. I can see how focused and concentrated he is, especially since he frowns more than usual. But I mean…the guy has me in his mouth while one hand is gently playing with my balls and there are two fingers up my ass doing whatever kind of magic trick this is, that makes me look so damn vulnerable in that instant. He sucks harder and harder and drags his teeth along my length as his fingers keep hitting the tiny spot that makes my body act on its own. I can’t… I can’t take it anymore.

“L-Levi, I’m going to come.” I say as a warning for him to remove his mouth but he doesn’t. He keeps going steadily and sucking harder than ever.  
“Oh my god. Fuck. Fuck. L-L...LEVI! LEVI!”

He moans as my cock reaches the back of his throat. That’s it. I’m done. This is the cherry on top.

“Gnn…” I say through a choked breath. “Le…Le…Levi. LEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!”

I come and I expect some of it to fall on me but no, not a drop. Levi swallows it all and gradually slows down. Eventually he lets go of me and walks out to the bathroom next door. I lay there, not moving at all, unable to find even an ounce of energy to lift an arm or anything else. Euphoria fills me, this was incredible. I may have fucked before, but nothing can even get close to how I came just now. Levi comes back with a towel and throws it to me. I take it and realize it’s wet. I clean myself up slowly.

“You begged.” Levi says.  
“I’m aware.” I smirk. “Thanks.”  
“For the finger fucking, the blow job or the towel?” He asks.  
“Everything.”  
“Tch.” He says, ruffling my hair gently.  
“What about you?” I ask as I stand up and walk closer to him, wrapping my arm around his waist. “Can I?”  
“You seem pretty determined to blow me for someone who isn’t gay.” He says.  
“I already told you; I’m not gay, but you’re kind of an exception to the rule… and since we can’t be in a relationship, thank god…” I say as he punches my shoulder. “I’m not officially gay, aren’t I?”  
“Well it’s true in a way…” Levi says. “But… from how you reacted just now, I can already tell that no women could please you the way I just have. Therefore, you like cocks. Therefore, you are gay.”  
“I’m not.” I reply.  
“You are, but we can discuss this later. I’m going to bed.”  
“Hey!” I stop him. “But I wanted…”  
“We have all the time in the world. You’ll just have to make up for it tomorrow night.”

I smirk.

“Yes Captain.” 

He turns around and hesitates. His head turns back to me.

“Don’t call me that. It… changes me.”  
“Oh! I’m sorry.” I say, honestly surprised because this name turned him on the previous times I said it to him. Maybe I misinterpreted it.  
“It’s fine. Go to bed.” He says.  
“Good night.” I nod.  
“Night, Brat.”

 

***

 

“Morning…” I say as I make my way into the kitchen, following the caffeine smell that fills the entire house.

He raises his cup as he glances up to me and then goes back to reading what I think is a newspaper on his tablet. I open two or three doors before I finally find a cup. I pour myself some coffee and then sit beside him. I drink silently and just stare at him. He doesn’t seem to mind. I get flashbacks of last night, of his lips on mine, of his body fitting so well against my own… And I find myself wanting some more of whatever this was. We didn’t make love, we didn’t fuck… Yet, it was more than a simple make out session and I want that again. I drop my phone one the table loudly. Levi raises his gaze to meet mine.

“What?” He asks.  
“Can I have your phone number?” I blurt out.

He takes another sip of coffee and then gets up to put it in the sink. When he comes back, his hand brushes past my cheek and grabs the phone.

“Course, bright eyes, but don’t make me regret this.”

He types it in and hands it back to me. I raise my phone and quickly snap a photo of him. He looks beautiful as ever.

“Did you just take a photo of me?” He asks. “Delete that right now.”  
“Well…” I reply. “It’s either that or a pepperoni pizza icon…”  
“Tch. Fine. Now text me so I have yours too.”

I shake my head, faking desperation.

“Flirting with me again?” I ask.  
“I believe, since I had my fingers up your ass, that we’re already passed that.” He says.  
“It still doesn’t stop you, apparently.”  
“Tch.”

I type a quick text and send it. He angles his head and turns the phone towards me.

“Really? ‘Hey hot pepperoni’… That’s all you could come up with?”  
“I could’ve said ‘Hey asshole’ if you would’ve preferred that.”  
“I would have.” He says.

He raises his phone and snaps a picture of me. I gasp loudly.

“WAIT! At least if you’re going to do that, let me take a good one.” I say.  
“You didn’t let me pick, why would I let you?” He asks.  
“Please, I swear it’ll be good.”  
“It already is.” He argues.

I get up and try to get the phone from his hand, which he moves around frantically. Fine. I fall on top of him and straddle him on the chair.

“Gimme the fucking phone!” I say.  
“No.”

It takes a while but I eventually get it. Levi stops fighting, knowing it’s pointless because I am too stubborn. I press my icon and turn the camera towards me. I bite my lip and pull out the most playful glare I have. I take the pic and hand the phone back to him. He licks his lips. 

“You were right…that’s a good one.” He says. “Let’s have an even better one.”

One of his arms slides around my waist, pressing me down on him as he sets up the camera. Then his hand moves back up and turns my chin towards him. Our gazes meet and he leans in slowly, looking straight into my eyes, sending shivers down my spine when he finally kisses me as I hear the shutter go off.

“Even better.” I whisper against his lips.  
“Even better.” He confirms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): I hope you liked that as much as I liked writing it XD...
> 
> PS: Anyone caught the wink at my previous fic? (the ones who read it)... Don't be expecting memories, those stories won't be joined but I needed to add a wink ;)


	6. Pickle on the side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Yo! My wrist feels much better (and by that I don't mean unholy things x_x - tendinitis). I am introducing my famous feels in this chapter. Although just a tiny hint of it for now... Hum I'm not sure but I think this is a very long chapter compared to the other ones, so i'm sorry...or not, depending whether you're happy or not (Pretty sure you'll be happy ;) )... SO here goes.
> 
> Mood song:  
> Zella Day - Hypnotic (excuse me but the beat of this and the lyrics just work so well here that I couldn't contain myself...)
> 
> PS: Anything with a lusty beat will mean there will be smut (take that as a warning ahaha....)
> 
> PSS: VERY LIGHT TRIGGER WARNING for one mention of suicidal behavior.

I close the door and drop my bag on the floor when suddenly, my ear is in pain.

“OUCH! FUCK!” I shout as I glance behind me and see that it’s Mikasa who is dragging me to the couch.  
“Sit, you ass!” I obey because I don’t seem to have a choice, if I want to keep my ear.  
“What the fuck?” I ask. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”  
“Glad to see that you tried to avoid this conversation, like the very mature teenager that you are.” She scoffs.  
“Fuck you, Mikasa.”  
“Don’t you dare.” She says, raising her hand but dropping it right away.

She sighs and sits beside me as I watch her with an angry glare.

“Where were you? I was worried all night.”  
“I already told you; with someone.”  
“It’s that Levi guy again?” She asks.  
“No. And even if it was, it would be none of your fucking business. In fact, I was with a girl, okay?”

She glances at my ears once again, probably knowing that I’m lying but whatever, it doesn’t mean anything.

“Well I’m sorry, but it is. I don’t fucking care, Eren, I’ll shut down the internet, I’ll take away your phone… but you’re going to grow up sooner or later. You’re not a kid anymore.”  
“It’s exactly what I am, Mikasa! I’m a fucking kid and I don’t even have time to enjoy this life. Now I’m not blaming you, I’m blaming dad but I won’t let you tell me that the little time I have to myself can’t be used to do as I please, alright?”  
“DO AS YOU PLEASE?” She laughs. “And what am I? 43? Just so you know, I’m only 19 and I was forced to drop out of school to be sure to be able to take care of you. I don’t have any friends I can hang out with or see. I am working my butt off like 12 hours a fucking day so that your ungrateful mouth can eat, so don’t you dare tell me about doing as you please while you should put this time into studying and not failing fucking classes.”

She is right. She is totally right, life has been more than unfair to her and I’ve been unfair too but I won’t let her act as if I don’t at least try to help even though I feel as miserable as she does.

“Well I’ve been working too, and going to school. I have no time to see friends or even do anything either so excuse me for wanting to spend a couple of nights out, having fun for once. PS: I will have a tutor in French so I won’t fail again. Perhaps you should ask me what I plan to do before starting to flip tables at me.”  
“I can’t let you go out again, not until you figure out how you can help me around here or at least study some more. Your grades suck and I sure as hell didn’t drop school so you can fail.”  
“I told you I was going to try and do something so why the fuck would you keep me locked in here?”  
“Because you can’t deal with too much freedom.”  
“SAYS FUCKING WHO? DAD?”

She slaps me. And I can already see that she regrets it. I get up, not hearing half of what she says and slam the door of my bedroom shut. She doesn’t try to talk to me, she knows it’s too late. She knows she crossed the line. She knows that dad had us on a leash since we were young and that when he grew tired taking care of us, of taking care of me, he just left. He left us here, without friends, without family, without any way of surviving on our own. And because of what? Me picking too many fights? Me never being good enough and needing too much “time to think alone, locked in my room”, me standing up to him and getting hit for it? I don’t fucking regret that he’s gone but I regret that our lives got stolen from us. Back then, I prayed for him to come back, because I didn’t know. I didn’t know how bad it was. I didn’t know how much I suffered without actually realizing it. That’s when Mikasa dropped school and that’s when I started being called the fuck up. It was two years ago and if it weren’t for Armin, I’m pretty sure I would’ve swallowed a bottle of pills a long time ago. He was my only friend and yet I was barely ever able to see him anymore, except at work. It sucked, it really sucked and I didn’t realize how much I hated it until I met Levi on that stupid late delivery. Now that I think of it, this might have been the best night of my life because it changed it all and it gave me hope. Even though the face of hope was a 160cm gnome with a shitty attitude and a weakness for my teal green eyes. I smirk to myself before I hear the front door closing. She’s gone. I let out a shaky breath and tears finally make their way down my cheeks. Fuck this. I get up, grab a towel and make my way into the shower. I let the water glide down my back and press my forehead on the cold tiles. I choose to put aside all the memories of dad leaving, of the guilt I felt and still feel, of Mikasa suddenly having to make sure we can survive on our own. I replace all those with Levi’s mouth on my own. I smile to myself as I can feel my stomach tighten. Could this be happiness? I feel genuinely happy about this and that’s a rare thing for me; to be happy. 

When I finally step out because the water turned cold about three minutes ago, I dry myself up and walk back to my room. I pick up a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt and put them on. When I’m done, it’s almost noon, which means I might be late to work again. I have this fucked up shift where you do 12-8 and the only thing keeping me from taking the day off, is the fact that I get to see Levi after. I smirk as I try to tame my hair. After a while of struggling I decide to just let them be what they are; a fucking mess.

I parallel park in front of Pixis’ Pizzeria and decide to send a quick text to Levi even though I’m a couple of minutes late.

“I finish at 8. I’ll make up for yesterday.”  
“Promise?” He replies and I can’t help but smile as I cross the door.

“Late again.” Erwin says.  
“Whatev-“ I start but then my smile falls apart. Levi is sitting right there…in a booth, legs crossed, sipping tea as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  
“You two know each other?” Levi asks to me.  
“Unfortunately, yes.” I reply, suddenly worried that this fucking giant might be Levi’s friend. “We kind of work at the same place, genius.”

Levi’s menacing glare hits me and I break eye contact.

“Well, Erwin, that’s the kid I want you to tutor.” Levi says.  
“NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL!” I shout. Which brings Armin to the front.  
“Everything ok here?” Armin asks but I ignore him.  
“First of all.” I say. “I am not a kid. And second of all, I thought that YOU were tutoring me.”  
“I don’t have time for ‘THAT’” He says with a knowing look.

Erwin coughs and Armin gestures for me to come closer, which I do because I’m about to punch something or most precisely someone and I’m not sure which one between the midget or the giant.

“Who’s this?” He asks, chin pointing at Levi.  
“A friend.” I mutter through gritted teeth. Jealousy and anger are pretty much the only things filling me right now and if there’s one thing I don’t want, it’s to snap at Armin but the guy can read me like an open book, which is already disturbing enough.  
“Oh, his voice… it’s… it’s the guy that kept ordering late.” He says. “You two are hanging out now?”

I can read the hidden question in his eyes and the fact that he would even think that of me, annoys me even more. Do I have the three letters plastered on my forehead now? But why does it annoy me? He’s right. He is so right. It’s just… I don’t like to be so obvious about things like that, especially things like ‘fucking older guys at night’. ‘Fucking guys’ in general in fact. Even though, that technically didn’t happen yet.

“It’s not like that.” I whisper.  
“Would it matter?” He asks.

I…am surprised and my hesitation gives me away. Armin knows now and it shows on his face by how his lips almost imperceptibly quirk up. He certainly knows. He pats my shoulder and turns around to walk back into the kitchen.

“ARMIN!” I shout and he glances back to me. “Shut up.”

He swipes his fingers on his lips and I feel relieved that he won’t tell. Then again, I’m nervous that he’ll ask more about this and I don’t want to answer. The fact that this is all a secret is my only protection against the world and I want it to stay hidden. As far as everyone’s concerned, I like girls. Even I believe it myself, but I see now that I might have been lying to myself too. Or maybe it’s just Levi. It could very well just be Levi.

I turn back to him. He’s standing up in front of the counter and talking to Erwin.

“So you two are friends?” I ask as my elbow brushes against Levi’s.

He nods and I sigh, realizing I might have to be nice to the fucker from now on.

“Fine…” I mutter. “I will try, but if he comments anything remotely stupid about me failing French, I’m dropping the tutoring.”

Levi nods again.

“After work.” Erwin says and my eyes dart to Levi.  
“After work?” I ask, knowing that he’ll understand the meaning of my question.  
“Only for an hour.” Levi says. “I’ll pay the fees.”  
“Fees? He charges for that? The cashier, charges for that?” I snort.

Erwin’s look is deadly but Levi stops whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

“No one would do that for free, Brat. Plus, Erwin used to teach French at Trost University.” Levi says.  
“So why is he a fucking cashier?” I ask, ignoring Erwin’s glare hovering over my head.  
“That’s for him to tell.” Levi replies.  
“Whatever, it’s not like I care.” I add.  
“Thanks, Levi, I really appreciate that you’re helping me so that I can have more free time to do other things.” Levi says sarcastically.  
“Thanks, Levi, for forcing me to tolerate this guy.”   
“Better than nothing.” He laughs. “See you around.”

He walks out and I’m about to go see Armin when Erwin’s hand stops me.

“Back here at 8.” He warns.  
“Yes, dad.”

My phone vibrates and I pull it out as I make my way to Armin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you hated each other’s guts.” Levi says.  
“I’ll do it, but only for you.”  
“For me?” He asks.  
“Yeah, so I can whisper you things.”  
“What kind of things?”  
“Things...”

“SO!” Armin says, pulling me out of my reverie. “Deliveries for main, 22nd and Maria road.”

I pick up the boiling hot pizza boxes and shove them in the bag as I make my way out of the pizzeria.

 

***

“It’s 8h30” Erwin says from the booth across the room.  
“I know, there was traffic, it’s Saturday.” I say as I drop the bag on the counter.

I walk up to the booth and sit in front of him.

“Let’s start with basics.” Erwin sighs.  
“Listening.” I mutter.  
“Je is I. Tu is you. Il is him. Nous is us. Vous is you –as in all of you-. Ils is them.”  
“I already know these.” I sigh.  
“Alright, then tell me what this means: ‘Je suis le nouveau petit chien de Levi.’” He smirks.

I hesitate a moment and gather my thoughts.

“I…am…Levi’s new…”  
“Puppy.” Erwin says.  
“I am Levi’s new puppy.” I repeat, realizing a bit too late what he made me say.

I get up and grab a fist of his shirt.

“What the fuck?” I ask.  
“Oh Jaeger! I never thought you played on that side but when I saw the two of you, I had my doubts.” He laughs. “You just confirmed them.”

I pull at his shirt, almost tempted to throw my hands at his neck and break it.

”He told you…about rule #5? Didn’t he?” He asks with a smirk, knowing that he definitely did. “Then you’re his newest toy.”

I roughly let go of him and step away from the table.

“Because rule #5 exists for one and only reason; Me.” Erwin adds. “So have fun while you can, because it won’t last.”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I snap, avoiding his gaze.  
“Oh yes, you know.” He says. “But keep denying it all, it’s easier to forget about it that way. Because deep down inside, you know you’ll never be more than his little bitch whenever he feels like he needs one. Just like he did with the others.”  
“The others?” My eyes widen as I repeat. “The others?”  
“Oh I’ve already said too much and I think we can skip tutoring for tonight since you have to be in Levi’s bed soon.”

I walk up to him and without hesitation, throw a punch at his eye. He barely even moves, he expected it. And now I gave him the perfect excuse to get me fired or to go and tell Levi so that he won’t want to see me again. Fuck. Why am I so impulsive? I turn around and walk out the door. I sit in my car for a while, wondering what to do. I exhale loudly, trying to keep the tears inside. I won’t cry for this. I won’t! I feel like I’ve just been stabbed and I don’t even know what I expected from all this. As if my life would’ve miraculously turned out to be better in just a couple of days.   
I start the engine and turn up the volume to a very unhealthy level of decibels. I’m pretty sure my car will just fall into pieces by the time I make it there. There; the place I used to go to after my dad locked me in my room for several days in a row. The tears go down on their own now and I’m not even trying to stop them anymore because fuck…I’m all alone after all. I only got a few days of peace before everything went to fucking hell. But what am I even saying? Mikasa was angry, which is nothing new. I had to talk with Erwin and hate his guts, which is nothing new… then what is it? It’s the betrayal that I feel, isn’t it? That I wasn’t special enough to be the only one Levi ever done that with. I’m only one of them, one of the others and one day, I’ll be just a warning on Erwin’s lips to some other boy that Levi wants to put in his bed. That’s all I am. And why does it even matter? I don’t know but my heart seems to think it’s the end of the world. Perhaps I liked him a bit more than I thought. I mean, you can’t just fuck someone and not feel anything, right? So maybe I was preparing myself, I was getting attached in order to be able to do what he wanted… No! What I wanted. I guess the routine was something I liked too. I understand what he meant by not wanting to hurt himself. Now I knew from experience how it felt and the consequences of it. Because how could I go back there now? I know I promised but… there’s no way I can go back now.

My tires screech on the gravel as I reach the side of the cliff. I get out and let myself fall on the ground, right at the edge. I swing my feet around into this chilly night of march, not caring that I didn’t bring a vest or anything. I look down at the calm lake below and just wish that my brain was as peaceful as this is. I close my eyes and let the wind move strands of my hair around, I let it caress me the way no one ever has and no one ever will and I cry silently. I cry for an hour, or two… I’m not even sure.

Eventually, as my phone rings once again, I pull it out with a new found rage and just throw it as far as I can. I hear the sound of it hitting the water as it drowns the shitty melody. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. This place is perfect to be alone. I don’t need to come here to be alone, since I always am, but the difference is how calming and soothing it is to just hear nothing. Nothing but the wind, nothing but the tiny waves hitting the rocks, nothing but the sound of a roaring engine…nothing bu- … I blink and turn my head around to see that one light coming from the same road where I came from. And it was too good to last. The tires screech and the engine stops. I turn my attention back to the dark abyss below me while I hear someone’s footsteps behind me.

“You promised.” He says from a few meters away and I almost imagine his tone to be a worried one. Almost.  
“Promised what?” I scoff.  
“That you’d come even if I didn’t call.”  
“I’m sure you can find someone else who’ll be more than willing to get with you in the sheets. Like Erwin, for example.”

I can hear a sigh behind me and then a few footsteps before I see him sitting on my right. I move a bit to the left, not wanting to be close to him. Not wanting him to touch me.

“He told you.” He says as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Of course he’d tell you, what kind of a dumb idea was this? I’m amazed at my stupidity right now.”  
“About the others or about rule #5?” I scoff. “Cause yeah, he told me.”  
“The others?” He asks, looking straight at me.  
“He said I was just your new puppy, your new shiny toy and that I’ll be your ‘bitch’ until you get bored of me, just like you did with the others.”

I gasp, focusing on shoving this huge lump down my throat. Fuck this feeling. Why the hell does it hurt so much? Why does it even hurt in first place?

“He said what?” Levi asks, genuinely worried. “Eren, I never did that before…why…what is he talking about?”

I shrug, not really caring anymore about what he meant. I knew now that everything was a mess and it was un-fixable.

“Eren.” He tries again. “I swear to god I don’t do that. Yes I do have one night stands once in a while, but that’s just consensual stuff and it’s just what it is, one night. Are you going to believe him and not me? Do you really think that’s how I am?”

My lack of answer is enough for him. And no, I don’t know who to believe. I barely even know the guy, but I can’t help but feel like part of this is true, that somehow, he’ll destroy me in the end. He lowers his gaze to the lake, seemingly hurt, and throws little rocks at it.

“I like the flirting game with you and I feel like you make me feel alive by taking part in it, but I never do that. You have to believe me. You’re the only one I ever tricked into staying with me. I swear.”

I bite my lip and angrily wipe the tears from my cheeks, the tears that I wish would just be hidden from his view.

“What did he say about rule #5?” He asks.  
“That you made it because of him.” I say with a shaky voice.

He sighs.

“I didn’t make it because of him. I made it because I had my heart broken once and I broke someone else’s too. Love has never been kind to me. Although he might think it was for him, the very short period of time when Erwin and I were together, were hell to me. He is possessive and very dominant, which was a bit too much to my liking. He might think this is because of him, but it isn’t. I never loved him and never will. You want to know what rule #5 is about? You really want to?”

I can’t help but nod and turn my gaze to him, because it’s the first time that I see him this way; vulnerable.

“When I was 21, I had a girlfriend. Her name was Petra and god I loved that girl so much and with all my heart… we dated for two years and we were basically the perfect little couple.” He pauses as his lips quirk up into a tiny smile and somehow it gets to my heart.  
“But then…as the months passed, I started to realize that I might not love her the way I thought I did. Because there was this guy I kept randomly seeing but never actually talked to. And one night, I went out with my friends and he was there, he was a waiter at some shit bar. Hanji, one of my friends, suggested that I might be interested in him. And as much as I wanted to deny the fact, I knew that I liked him a bit more than I would say. At the end of the night, he wrote his number on a napkin and handed it out to me. I didn’t call him. I thought of him though. Even while I was with Petra, which was already bad enough. And then… the next week, we all went out again but this time, as I went to order something at the bar, he asked me to meet him in the corridor. I don’t know why my feet dragged me there in first place, but I went. And it all happened so quickly and I was feeling so free and relieved because I had my doubts but this was confirming it. Which doesn’t mean I was ever going to tell anyone. But I’m not the one who told them… The guy came back to the bar and loudly thanked me for “the quickie”. All my friends turned around and surprisingly, none of them judged me. But this guy, who I liked, was laughing behind the counter. I broke his nose on that day. Sadly enough, Hanji didn’t have enough money to bail me out of jail so she called Petra, she didn’t know what to do and I don’t blame her for it. When Petra asked what happened, after getting me out, I told her everything. I told her I wasn’t sure what to do, that I loved her but that it was just so hard to understand myself. That it felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore. She slapped me. And her eyes…her eyes are the last thing I remember, because as she drove to her parent’s place, a drunk driver hit her car, killing her on the spot. It’s that night, that I promised myself I would never love or be loved again. I swore to live alone and be who I want to be, not caring one bit about what I say or do as long as it doesn’t truly hurt anyone. That is why rule #5 exists, Eren. It’s not because of Erwin fucking eyebrows Smith. Listen, I don’t want to ever see eyes like that again, hurt, betrayed, broken and yet I’m kind of seeing this in you right now and it scares the shit out of me.”

I’m speechless. Because I was so prompt to judge him and believe that I knew him better than anyone, that I knew how he was and what he would be willing to do. I was so eager to believe how bad of a person he was. And why? Because it would be easier than accepting the fact that I like him, that I’m fucking gay? Or perhaps that I am 100% gay for him. I felt bad in that instant. I felt really bad.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

His arm wraps around my shoulder as a new smile pulls at his lips.

“You don’t have to be.” Levi says. “It’s my fault for not telling you before. It’s my fault for not seeing that Erwin wouldn’t let me go to someone else so easily.”  
“Go to someone else?” I ask.  
“Aren’t I here, with you, right now?”

I lower my gaze and throw another rock, unable to identify to any feelings. I feel numb, I don’t know what to do. I want to forget this. I want us to be the way we were yesterday and this morning. I want to be happy again, but that’s just how it is, happiness always slips through my fingers as soon as I catch a glimpse of it and eventually, I know it’ll cost me my life because there’s a limit to how many times you can fail.

“I’m sorry.” Levi says and I turn to him with a questioning gaze. “For everything. For forcing you to hang out with me, for threatening to take away a job that you really need just to survive one more day, for generally being an asshole to you and most of all, for pressing you to do things you didn’t want to do.”  
“I wanted to.” I blurt out right away. “I wanted you.”

His gaze locks with mine but then he looks above at the stars as my heart hammers against my chest. How can he even think for one second that I don’t want him? Didn’t I prove, last night, how much I wanted him? Unconsciously, maybe, but I still did.

“Then tell me what I can do to fix this.” He says.  
“There’s nothing to fix.” I say. “We are nothing.”  
“I thought we were friends.” Levi says, lowering his gaze.  
“With benefits…” I smirk.

A light chuckle comes out of his mouth and it seems so natural, like it’s always been there, waiting to come out and erase all the other fake and sarcastic ones.

“How can I fix this?” He whispers.

I hesitate, my eyes moving from his lips to his eyes. He seems sincere. He seems weak and if there is one thing he isn’t, it’s weak. So maybe he is truly sorry. Maybe he is telling the truth. Perhaps this means that everyone deserves a second chance. I will give him one.

“Let me be the only one.” I reply, shivering and blushing from head to toe. “Let me be the only one you do things with, no strings attached or anything else since you don’t want that, but let at least this, be only mine.”

He turns to me, surprised and nods right away.

“Then we should get going.” He smiles.  
“No offense, but I don’t feel like it.” I reply with a laugh.  
“You idiot! I meant that we can watch a movie or something, and not Magic Mike, I swear.”

I chuckle.

“Alright then.” I smirk as I get to my feet and grab his hand to help him up. “But… how did you even find me? No one knows about this place.”  
“I tracked your phone, since you weren’t answering my texts.”  
“My phone’s in the lake.” I add.  
“Yeah but I tracked you a while ago. I thought you might have had something to do before you came over, but you were taking too long to reply to my texts. So I came… and good thing I did, otherwise you wouldn’t have come back to me, right?”

I nod.

“C-Can… I kiss you?” I ask out of the blue.  
“Why?” He asks.  
“Because I’m lonely.” I reply.

In less than a second, he’s on the tip of his toes, cupping my cheeks and pressing his lips softly against mine. My arms tentatively wrap around his waist and he lets me. I press his body hard against mine, holding on to him as if he was my life line.

“I’m sorry.” I repeat.  
“Shhh.” He says, wiping a tear and pressing his lips on mine again.

***

“You’re fucking insane!” I shout as I step out of the car.  
“Maybe.” He says.  
“You could’ve died.”  
“At least I would’ve died in the most epic of ways.” He laughs.  
“I don’t think that forcing me to roll down my window to steal a kiss while you’re riding your bike would be called epic, it would be called reckless and stupid.”  
“Then why were you smiling like an idiot?” He smirks.  
“Just… Because.” I reply. Because he was, indeed, crazy but the kind of crazy you only see in movies. The kind of crazy that makes you wonder what you’ve been doing with your life all those years. The kind of crazy that makes you take a breath and realize you’re luckier than most of the people in the world. The kind of crazy that makes you believe that, for once, everything might turn out okay…because he’s there. And he might be crazy, but he makes me feel something else than numb and this is already bigger than what anyone’s ever been able to accomplish with me.  
“Lost your tongue? How sad…” Levi says.  
“Oh no…” I smirk. “It’s there, don’t you worry.”  
“I never do.”  
“Says the guy who drove an hour to meet me in some deserted spot on the side of a cliff.” I laugh. “Says the guy who doesn’t want me to fail my French class. Says the guy… who was scared I’d never come back.”

I may be crazy too. Because right now, as we reach the door, faintly illuminated by the light inside, I could swear that I’m seeing a touch of pink on Levi’s cheeks and that’s not even close to being possible. I blink a couple of times and then decide to ignore the fact and just walk in as he unlocks the door. I start to make my way to the living room when I feel something cold in my hand. His fingers intertwine with mine and he pulls me back towards the stairs. 

“There’s a TV in the bedroom.” He says, still somehow having a tone of pink to his usual porcelain skin.  
“I don’t…” I start but he cuts me off.  
“I know. Just for TV, I promise.”

I nod and follow him upstairs, refusing to let go of his hand and somehow his hand stays right where it is. He opens the door and the room seems so much lighter than it did in my memory. Then again, I wasn’t really paying attention to the pale gray walls and damask patterns of the shades the last time I was here. My face turns crimson red as I recall the memories.

“Are you okay?” He asks, letting go of my fingers and moving closer to the bed to place the pillows a bit more upright.

I nod again and then walk up to the bed. I climb on it and sit awkwardly with my back resting against the pillows.

“Don’t be nervous, I told you I wouldn’t do anything.” He says, taking place on the chair a bit further on the right.  
“I can’t help it. You make me nervous.”  
“Is that so?” He smirks. “Why?”  
“I don’t know, it’s like you’re hypnotizing me and when I’m with you I can’t think straight.”  
“Sorry about that.”  
“No don’t…” I raise my hand towards him. “Y-You make me feel a bit more free to be myself. As if there was some walls inside my head that I can never climb except when you’re around. It’s kind of weird but you make me feel better... But don’t make it awkward either by sitting 300 meters away from me.”  
“Tch.” He says as he gets up to take his rightful place beside me. We are not touching but eventually as he zaps to some shitty TV series, his arm tentatively wraps around my shoulders and I swear this must look so awkward and be so uncomfortable because of our height difference. I chuckle and his head turns to me.  
“What?” He asks with a sharp tone and a warning glare.  
“N-Nothing.” I say while bringing myself down a bit to rest my head on his chest.  
He seems to get the hint and lowers himself on the bed so that he can be more of a pillow to me than me to him.  
“This feels nice.” I whisper, worried that I might have said too much.  
“It does, but don’t get too comfortable with this.” He says.  
“I know.” I smirk, nestling my head even deeper onto his skin earning a light chuckle. “But I’m sure that deep down inside you’re a cuddler.”  
“Says who?” He scoffs.  
“I do.”

He ruffles my hair as my eyes slowly close and I drift away.

***

I wake up and stretch, wondering why I’m still dressed. I turn to my side, hoping to catch a bit more sleep before the alarm goes off. I blink a couple of times and yawn. There’s a shadow there. My mind fires up in realization of what’s going on and of where I am. I glance around and instantly notice de gray walls, the shades, the rug, the TV… The TV is turned off. It’s turned off and he’s still here… Which means he didn’t just fall asleep, he willingly turned off the TV and fell asleep beside me. Oh my god, if this doesn’t make my heart flutter, I don’t know what will. I blink, trying to make up the shape in front of my eyes when I realize he’s actually facing me. I move back slowly and softly until I can feel my feet touch the ground. I tip toe to the bathroom and try to find some toothpaste. There is some. Fuck it, I’ll use my finger, it’s better than nothing. I make as little noise as possible.

When I come back to the room, his arm is wrapped around my pillow possessively. I smile to myself as I take my place beside him once again. As my head hits the pillow, his eyes flutter open. Shit. I expect him to get up. I expect him to freak out and walk away back to his own bedroom. I expect him to be angry that I let him do that, knowing he didn’t want to. What I don’t expect though, is the tiny smile on his lips as his hand brushes a strand of hair away from my eyes. My heart hammers against my chest and I can’t quite understand what’s going on with me in that instant.

“What time is it?” He whispers.  
“Probably middle of the night, I have no idea.”

He turns around and sits, the moonlight reflecting on his neck right at the edge of the undercut that my fingers are begging me to touch. He stretches and gets up.

“I’m going to shower.” He says as he walks to the door but then pauses and turns to me.  
“Are you coming or what?” He adds.  
“I-In…in the shower?” I stutter.  
“I’m not going to fuck you into the wall, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He scoffs. “I just like my sheets to be clean and we’re not. So…”

I get up and walk up to the door.

“I guess I can do that.”  
“Do what?” Levi smirks, angling his head at me.  
“Watch you.” I say with an equally as playful glare.  
“Oddly, enough…” Levi says. “I know where this is getting at and you better not act like a fucking tease with me after saying loud and clear that you didn’t want to do anything tonight.”  
“We’ll have to see.” I smirk. “And we’re tomorrow.”  
“Well then you broke your promise.” He says, tugging on my shirt.  
“I guess I’ll have to make up for that too.”  
“Oi! That’s a lot of making up you have to do. Are you up to the task?” Levi asks.  
“I don’t know, you can ask my tutor. I’m sure he’ll say that I am.” I giggle.

The playful glare is back and I just stare at it, taking in every detail of the smirk and of the new glimmer in his eyes as this look of pure lust appears.

“Alors prouve le.” He smirks.

I don’t understand what he said but « prouve » really fucking sounds like prove. And if that’s what he wants, then he’s going to regret asking me to prove myself.   
I take a step towards him and he steps back, now trapped between the wall and I. I lower my gaze to his and slowly place my leg between his thighs, only lightly brushing against his pants as my hand moves up to find his neck. I move my fingers to his jaw trying to hide how nervous I am as I turn his head to the side and bring my lips closer to his neck. I breathe against his undercut, hovering there for a while until his body reaches a bit closer to my own. My lips press against his skin and I drag them lower to the point where I’m under his chin. I’m hesitating as whether I should go down or not but then decide against it as I remember he said we weren’t clean enough. Perhaps he doesn’t care in the situation but I do, since I don’t want him to be uncomfortable. Instead, I climb my way up to his mouth and pause to look into his eyes before I press my entire body against his, forcing him to stand on his toes in order to be able to keep the kiss alive. I slide my tongue into his mouth and he presses his against mine. The silent fight drags on for a while until I feel fingers in my hair. Suddenly my head gets jerked back and I wince. 

“Shower. Now.” Levi orders.  
“Yes, sir!” I reply before he lets me go.

I walk to the bathroom across the corridor, not daring to look back as I hear his footsteps follow. As soon as I’m inside, I take off my shirt and throw it on the floor beside me. I glance back and notice that he’s leaning against the doorframe, looking at my back.

“What?” I ask.  
“Waiting…” He murmurs.  
“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to watch you?” I ask.  
“Aren’t you supposed to be in this god damn shower already?”

I smile, starting to understand how he works. Whenever he doesn’t want to answer a question or decides not to, he asks another one instead. I unbuckle my belt and let my pants fall to the floor. My heart slams against my chest as I slide down my boxers and throw them behind me. I just pray that it didn’t hit his face, but it probably didn’t otherwise I’d already be dead. I walk to the door and open it. The bathroom is gigantic. It’s probably the size of my room and Levi is too far from me. The mosaic of blue tiles makes me feel trapped in a cold empty space. I turn on the water and wait until I see the steam come out. I turn around to see that he’s still leaning against the doorframe.

“Are you coming?” I ask nervously.  
“I sure hope so.” He says, walking slowly towards me as he lets his pants fall to the floor and pushes them aside, near mine.

I blush at what he said as my gaze unconsciously glides down to his hips. His boxers are way too tight and it only reminds me that I haven’t actually seen the man naked; not that this doesn’t give me a good idea of what I’m going to have to deal with.

“Are you going to remove them already?” I ask.  
“Eager to see?” He smirks.  
“Nervous to see.” I correct.

He can’t quite contain the chuckle that escapes his mouth.

“It’s not funny!” I argue.  
“I’m average, so calm down.” He sighs. “I’m the one who should be concerned about you, fucking titan.”  
“So… what you’re saying is…it doesn’t have to be me?” I ask.

He shakes his head.

“What I’m saying is, it doesn’t have to be always you.”

He pauses and looks down.

“Then again, I might change my mind.”  
“Are you scared?” I smirk.  
“Tch. Get in there, you little shit.”

I walk inside and press myself against the wall, away from the running water. The steam keeps me from seeing Levi completely at first but when he walks under the continuous flow, closes the door and turns around as he brings his hair back, I can’t hold in the gasp. He is… stunning. All of him. He’s fucking perfect. He notices that I’m looking at him and just smiles playfully as he gets closer. He stops two inches away from me as the air seems to be avoiding my lungs.

“Soap.” He says.

I turn around and hit all the shampoo bottles and the soap falls on the floor. We look at each other and both start laughing because like hell if either of us is going to bend down to get it.

“Pick it up.” He orders with a smirk.

I’m about to protest but then remember that he told me to prove myself. I narrow my eyebrows and just crouch rapidly. I pick up the soap as I dare to lift my gaze up. I grab his thigh as I stand up again. His cheeks are a bit red and it makes me sing a song of victory on the inside. 

“Go first.” He says, pushing me under the water.

I comply and make sure to clean myself properly from head to toe, taking my sweet ass time around the areas he stares at. He’s leaning against the wall, arms folded and head slightly angled as if he had been waiting for two hours. It’s only the look in his eyes that tells me he’s actually enjoying this.  
Once I’m done and the soap’s all gone, I turn to him and he reaches for the bar but I close my hand around it.

“Let me.” I murmur.  
“No. Give it to me.” He says, standing straight up again.

Fine then, we’ll see who wins this one. I teasingly bite my lower lip and let out a tiny moan. I look for his reaction, there isn’t any until suddenly his hand wraps around my wrist and he pulls me forward. I almost slip as my confused gaze meets his unreadable one. He lifts my hand and to my surprise, presses it against his chest. I raise an eyebrow and he just nods before he turns his head away. The echoes of the song of victory come back as I smile to myself. I start with the obvious but still take my time as I feel like I’d never have enough occasions to touch this guy.

“Oi! It’s clean.” He says, pointing at his shoulders before he turns back around.

Here we go, I guess. I’m not even trying to hide the blush on my cheeks as I kneel down in front of him. Of course I don’t have to kneel, but it was kind of the point. I slowly let my fingers wrap around him as my other hand glides the soap bar up and down his shaft. He’s already hard. He’s been hard for a while, but it just seems to multiply as soon as my hands are on him. I let the water fall on me and my hair is everywhere; in my eyes, on my cheeks and it’s just plainly annoying. He notices. God does he notice or perhaps he just wanted to do that since he first saw me.  
He slides his fingers in my hair and momentarily grips it before slicking it back. Our gazes meet and I’m not as nervous as I was a moment ago, not with those eyes looking at me right now as if I was a fucking god or something. I wrap my arm around his thigh and bring him closer so that the water cleans off the remains of soap. Then, I let go and he takes a step back, forcing me to take a step forward and sending an even darker shade of red to my cheeks. I decide to avoid his gaze as I let my fingers climb up his thighs. I wrap my fingers around him again and start stroking slowly. He stiffens a bit but I know it’s normal since I always do the same. I bring my lips closer and press the tip against my mouth, grateful that he doesn’t try to force himself into me and gives me all the time I need even though it’s probably killing him. I open my mouth and start moving to a regular pace. I glance up and see his eyes filled with lust locked on me. One of his hand is gripping the shampoo stand and I can see the muscles tighten in his arms as well as his jaw that keeps clenching. He manages a smile as I keep going and that’s all it takes for me to be confident about this. Somehow, I can do this.   
Until, I go too deep and gag. I choke hard as tears make their way onto my cheeks. Levi pulls away as soon as he realizes and crouches before me. His hands grip my shoulders tightly.

“Oi! Don’t do that. Not yet.” He says.  
“Why is it so easy for you?” I manage to say as I cough.  
“It takes practice. I’ll show you how. If you want to be doing that, of course, but just take in whatever you can for now. Don’t hurt yourself.” He says with a reassuring smile.  
“Ok.” I smile. “Again.”

Levi shakes his head.

“It’s not your mouth I want.” He whispers against my ear.

I blush as he helps me to stand up.

“I’ll grab a towel.” He says.

I frown.

“I thought you wanted to…” I start. “Was I that bad?”  
“Of course I want to. And you were actually pretty good, Brat.” He chuckles. “But I won’t let your first time be in a shower with your face pressed against the cold tiles. It might not always show, but I’m a gentleman.”

I can fill relief surge through me. I might only be a friend with benefit to him, but at least he does care about me in a way and it makes me feel a little more secure in whatever this is.

“You’re more than that.” I whisper.  
“Explain.” He says as he throws the towel around his back and starts moving it around his body.  
“You’re human.” I reply with a sheepish smile.

He stops and turns to me.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  
“J-Just… you care more than you pretend to and somehow I can see that in you. Your eyes are an open door to your soul and I have the tool to read what’s in them. You aren’t the emotionless person that serves as your façade.”  
“Tch. Reading me? Not a chance.” He says as he wipes his thighs.

I smile, choosing not to argue on this because I know I’m right and I know he’s only being stubborn. He throws me a new towel and I slowly wipe the water from my face and everywhere else.

“Did you mean that?” He asks from across the corridor after the silence dragged on for a while.  
“I do not say things that I don’t mean.” I reply as I make my way into the room to meet him.

He wraps his arms around my waist to pull me close to him and looks up as he angles his head again.

“Are you gay?” He asks with a shit-eating grin, knowing that I’ll just contradict myself if I lie.  
“No.” I smirk. “But…”  
“Fucking liar.” He says, gripping my ass.  
“I wasn’t done talking.” I say, letting my fingers glide down his back and do the same to him. “I was going to say…”  
“You were going to say…?” He repeats, eager to hear it.  
“That for you, I may very well be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): You pervs, you want the next one, don't you?... I may or may not make you wait long. Muahahah! But seriously, how'd u like it?
> 
> PS: Typos will be corrected...eventually...


	7. Wrong order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Hello lovely readers! How are you guys doing? I'm alright. Though I have been struggling HARD with this chapter. I guess there'll be a little more drama than I originally intended it to be but don't worry the fun will stay. SO I assume you guys have been waiting for this chapter impatiently. I'm just going to say that it is 18+ ?... lol *coughs* you know what it means.
> 
> Songs in this chapter:  
> Zedd - Beautiful now  
> Kygo - Firestone
> 
> Hope you like it, like I said, it was a hard one to write and I don't even know why.
> 
> PS: TINY WARNING FOR A DIFFICULT ENDING THAT MAY TRIGGER THINGS.

“Is that so…”

I shrug and he lets go of my waist to lead me to the desk. It’s old and white. Probably vintage and it contrasts well with the TV mounted right above on the wall. Levi touches the flat surface of the desk which illuminates with various menus.

“Oh my god! This is amazing! How does this even exist?” I comment, overly excited.

“It’s basically just a huge tablet, don’t freak out.” He laughs. “Pick a couple of songs while I go gather a few things, will you?”  
“Like what songs?” I ask.  
“Anything you like, but don’t look at what I’m doing.”  
“Why?” I ask, suddenly curious.  
“Because I said so.”  
“Alright, grumpy old man.”

I get no answer besides the echo of the slap I receive on my ass. I smirk as my fingers glide up and down in Levi’s playlist. It’s such a wide range of music; I really don’t know what to pick. What would he like?  
I keep scrolling and scrolling seeing nothing that catches my eye or would be deemed worthy of a night like this. Suddenly, I’m sad that I threw away my phone, because I had a couple of good songs in there. I wish I had… oh wait! He has it! He has Zedd’s songs. I click the name and browse for the song I’m looking for. I find it and immediately click play.

“I picked one.” I say, still looking at the screen that somehow transfers up to the TV on its own and starts to play.

I’m startled when I feel his breathing on my neck.

“I said a few.” He whispers in my ear as he wraps his arms around me from behind.

I turn to look at him and our gazes meet. We remain silent for a little while as we let the music play.

**I see what you're wearing, there's nothing beneath it**  
**Forgive me for staring, forgive me for breathing**

A smile creeps up on my face and I’m rendered speechless for a moment. How did I get there? How did I get to wanting this more than anything I’ve ever wanted? How did I get to wanting to get in bed with him so bad that all my thoughts became blurred with the idea?

**We might not know why, we might not know how**  
**But baby, tonight, we're beautiful now**

He smiles and lets his fingers trace a line down my jaw before he slowly turns me back around. I let him, too nervous to question anything he does.

“Why this song?” He asks.  
“B-Because it fits perfectly.” I whisper, trying to hide the fact that I’ve become obsessed with this song.  
“Is it because, somehow, it made you think of what we’re about to do?” He asks.  
“Pfff. Don’t give yourself too much credit.” I say with a sheepish smile. “But…it might be.”

**We'll light up the sky, we'll open the clouds**  
**Cause baby, tonight, we're beautiful now, we're beautiful**

“But since I don’t have my phone anymore, I guess I won’t be able to listen to it as much as I did before.” I laugh.  
“We’ll get you another one.”  
“We?” I say, intrigued.

As if I was going to let him, a perfect stranger… Well perfect, yes… Stranger…maybe not so much, since we’re both naked and about a minute away from fucking like rabbits. Actually I don’t even know why this expression exists…it looks anything but fun… But hum…what was I thinking again? Oh the phone… NO. I won’t let him buy me a phone.

“Don’t you have other things to focus on?” He says, once again wrapping his arms around me and sliding his hand down on my thigh.

“I-I…Sure!” I gasp.  
“You trust me?”

**Wherever it's going, I'm gonna chase it**  
**What's left of this moment, I'm not gonna waste it**

“I trust you.” I repeat.

**Stranded together, our worlds have collided**  
**This won't be forever, so why try to fight it?**  
**We're beautiful now**

His hands move and I long for the touch that doesn’t come. I close my eyes in anticipation as I feel his fingers pressing gently against them, silently ordering me to keep them shut. I obey. I hear him move around me and I’m pretty sure he’s scrolling for a song.

“Don’t like it?” I ask.  
“Oh I love it, it’s just not really something we can dance to.” He says.  
“Dance?” I can’t help but chuckle. I never thought he’d be the type to dance. I imagined him more like the type of guy who spends the entire night on a stool, sipping champagne or whatever else.  
“I didn’t mean literally” He says. “But…then again.”

Then, as the beat shifts to a much lower and slower one, I feel something soft, some sort of cold material, that glides up on my skin. I realize he’s back behind me. In fact, when I feel the cold piece of cloth on my cheeks, I understand that he’s blindfolding me.  
Once he’s done, I feel his hand glide down to my shoulders and then a finger slowly tracing a line down my spine. I shiver, feeling myself getting hard again.

**I'm a flame**  
**You're a fire**  
**I'm the dark in need of light**  
**When we touch, you inspire**  
**Feel the change in me tonight**  
**So take me up, take me higher**  
**There's a world not far from here**  
**We can dance in desire**  
**Or we can burn in love tonight**

“Still trust me?”

I nod, tentatively opening my eyes but I still can’t see anything. He laughs and flicks a finger to my nose because he probably figured out what I was trying to do.

**Our hearts are like firestones**  
**And when they strike, we feel the love**  
**Sparks will fly, they ignite our bones**  
**But when they strike, we light up the world**

He grabs my hands and slowly turns me around to face him. He slides his leg between my own presses his hips against mine as his hands find their place on the small of my back. He pulls me close, forcing me to follow his swaying hips that gently move to the beat. One of his hands move back to my own and his fingers intertwine with mine. He starts to move us around the room slowly, following the melody in a much hotter way than I would’ve imagined. His grinding against me, the friction, is sending jolts of pleasurable pain everywhere inside of me and I’m lucky to even remember my name. I can’t believe we’re dancing naked in the middle of his bedroom. I can’t believe this guy, the emotionless nymphomaniac asshole that I thought I knew, is dancing with me. And why? Why hasn’t he thrown me on the bed already? Isn’t that what he wanted? Or perhaps he’s nicer because it’s my first time. That’s probably it. It must be it. Then again, I would’ve never expected that from him.  
Eventually I can feel him step away from me just to slide his hands under my arms and quickly pick me up. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, scared for my life that the man won’t be able to hold me up, but I guess I shouldn’t have underestimated him. Not even his breathing changes as his arms secure me close to him. He kisses my collarbones and the lower part of my neck as he carries me to, what I assume to be, the bed.

He slowly puts me down on it and my head gently hits the comforter. I don’t even hear the rest of the song as my heartbeat pounds in my ears. Levi slowly climbs on top of me and lays down, resting his weight on me as his lips reach for mine. I’m nervous and it must show by how much I’m shaking. I’m not afraid; I know he wouldn’t hurt me. How I know? I just do, but I’m just…nervous.

“I can feel your heart pulsing through your skin, this must not be good.” He whispers against my lips.  
“Nervous.” I whisper as Levi’s hand reaches up to ruffle my hair.  
“Don’t be. Everything will be alright.” He promises and I instantly relax.

He sits up straight and glides his hand on my stomach, detailing my muscles and I want to do the same to him but I’m too shy in that instant. 

“I’m going to get off the bed for a second to go grab something on the nightstand, you relax okay?”

He moves right away and the lack of touch leaves me cold and stressed again.

“Why do I have to be blindfolded?” I ask. “I want to see you.”

I hear him climb on the bed again before he crawls back on top of me slowly.

“Senses are heightened when one is depraved of a major one like sight.” He breathes against my lips. “And I want you to focus on pleasure, not on how you or I look like.”

I let a grin make its way to my face but then Levi sits back up and I can only feel his knees on each side of me. I hear the pop of a bottle and I can only assume it’s lube. I brace myself, ready to feel his fingers against my entrance again, but nothing comes. Instead, I jump when his hand starts stroking me slowly as if I wasn’t hard enough already. Gosh this is painful; I need to get a release, any release, really.  
Levi stops moving his hand and I’m left wondering why… Why does he stop? And that’s when I feel it, my cock entering something, or more precisely someone, because Levi is slowly lowering himself above me as I enter him. I am fucking Levi. The moan that escapes my mouth could be categorized as wild, uncontrollable, loud but mostly: pleading. I didn’t expect that at all. AT ALL. Levi raises himself back up and then goes down again. I can feel him adjust to me and then suddenly I gasp.

“Oh my god, wait!” I scream. “Pause!”  
“Why?” He asks and I can imagine the smirk on his face as he lowers himself down once again.

I wince.

“I’m going to come.”  
“Didn’t you say you were up to the task?” He snorts.

“I did, but that was before I knew I’d be the one fucking you. This is too much.” I cry out. “I’ve wanted this so bad, I dreamed about this so many times and I just didn’t expect it to happen at all. I thought you’d be the one taking me.”  
“Oh I will” He says, tracing my lower lip with his fingers. “But since it’s your first time, I thought it would be nice to start this way. To be honest, I wanted to try and see if I could take you.”

He slams himself back down on me and my hands grip the sheets as my back arches itself.

“Turns out I can.” He adds before slowly climbing off me.  
“What’s going on?” I ask, panting and tempted to protest.  
“It’s your turn.” He says, pressing his lips against mine before his hands find their way to my thighs.

He spreads my legs open and I let him take control, because I do trust him.

“I wanted… you to be closer so that you’d let me do this to you no matter what.” He explains as I hear the pop again.  
“I would’ve let you anyways.” I chuckle.  
“Surprising, coming from a straight guy.” He laughs.  
“Very funny.” I say, flicking my finger in the air as if I was trying to hit him with it.

His lips press against my knee and start making their way up on my thigh. At the same time, I feel his finger slowly press against my entrance. I grip the sheets and nod. He might not be looking at my reaction, but he pushes it inside anyways. I wince a little but the pain is gone in less than 5 seconds. I realize that one finger isn’t all that bad. He slides it in and out a couple of times as his lips keep exploring my thighs and hips. Eventually, a second finger slides in and I can’t help but wince.

“It’s normal. Don’t worry, we have time.” He murmurs against my hip.

He slides them in and out without ever stopping. His fingers start sliding faster and deeper and to my greatest surprise, I am enjoying this again. He pushes harder and then hits it. That little spot that made me go insane the last time.

“Levi!” I shout. “Levi, this…”  
“I know.” He whispers before starting to separate his fingers.

Once again, I wince but for some odd reason, I don’t care as much anymore. Not when I know the feelings I can actually get from this. I grip the sheets until finally it doesn’t hurt anymore. That’s when he slides a third finger in and that’s when I forget how fun this could be. Impossible. This won’t be fun. Nope.

“Ouch.” I whisper.  
“I am going slow.” He says as he pours more lube over his fingers and it does help a bit.  
“I trust you.” I repeat, not only to reassure him but to reassure myself.

His lips leave my thighs and I’m surprised to feel them on my lips as his fingers keep moving.

After a minute or two, when he asks me if it still hurts, I shake my head. It truly doesn’t but it’s not very comfortable either. His touch leaves me and I know what’s coming but before it does, I speak.

“Take it off.” I order. “Please.”

He pauses.

“What? The blindfold?”

I nod as I start blushing.

“Are you sure?” He asks.  
“I am.” I confirm. “Like I said, I’ve been having dreams about you… I mean…about this and I didn’t even want to tell you but… I just… I wanna see it happen in real life, because I’ve already seen it in my head so many times. I want to watch you as you take me.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment. He doesn’t move either. I want to hide under a rock.

“Levi?” I ask.

I feel his weight shift on the bed as his hands slide behind my head. He pulls on the bow and the blindfold falls beside me as my eyes flutter open. Greens meet grays as I realize the two songs have been playing on repeat since the start. Levi’s traits are softer. He doesn’t smile, he doesn’t laugh, he doesn’t seem pissed. He’s just there, hovering above me.  
He hesitantly lowers himself and presses his lips on mine again. I lift my hand and gently caress his hair and undercut. He really is taking his time, and I’m grateful he is, but I can’t wait anymore. As he refuses to break the kiss, I let my hand reach between our bodies and I clumsily place Levi against my entrance and push him in. I flinch but pull on his neck as he tries to push away. It hurts. It hurts very fucking much but I don’t care because of the worried eyes that somehow stare at me while we kiss. I let go of him and he gently moves forward. It takes some adjustments but his embrace makes me forget the pain. I know that if he says I’ll like it, I will definitely like it. He moves a bit faster and I close my eyes, feeling myself blush as I can finally say that it’s not that bad, that in fact I’m liking this way more than I ever thought I would.

After a while, Levi breaks the kiss and I open my eyes as he shifts on the bed and wraps his arms under my knees.

“Tell me if it hurts.” He says, panting.

I nod and he starts to move to a more regular pace, which is fine, really… but I only wish…

“Deeper.” I whisper.

His lips quirk up as he complies to my demand. He tries different angles but always comes back to the same one, seemingly aggravated by something.

“What is it?” I ask.  
“I could swear it was…”  
“…OH! OH MY GOD!” I shout right after I realize what he was trying to find.

There’s a huge grin on his face as he slams harder and harder at the same angle, making me forget where I am, who I am, and that I am straight. I’m not straight. I’m gay. I am gay as fuck. No doubts now.  
He does it again, over and over again and after a point, instead of gripping the sheets, I grip my hair and pull it hard.

“I can’t…” I start, unable to speak correctly. “I can’t hold it…”  
“Just… a…couple…of thrusts" Levi begs.

My body arches as I feel myself reaching the end of the buildup, reaching the edge of the tiny world that we just built for us two.

“Eren…” Levi whispers. “E-Eren…”

And I can feel his cock getting rock-hard right before I let go and feel him releasing into me. I cover my stomach with cum as my moans die in my throat.  
He slows down gradually and I can’t look at him in the eye, not anymore. Not now that I’m sure that I’ll never get enough of this. He pulls out and lets himself fall on top of me. His breathing is harsh and his shoulders move up and down as his body tries to compensate for everything else. I can feel mine does too and without even thinking about the fact that we’re already close, that his cheek is pressed to my chest, I wrap my arms around his body and press him harder against me. He doesn’t move. If he disliked that, he at least has the decency to wait to tell me.

A couple of minutes pass when he stands on all four and crawls back to the end of the bed. I watch him go as he taps his fingers on the desk and stops the music.

“Shower.” He says without looking back and I know it’s not an invitation to have fun or a ‘maybe you’d like to take a shower’… it’s more of a command and if I don’t do it, I guess he’ll have me wash the sheets by hand.

I get up and walk across the corridor, when I realize that Levi is already inside it. I inch the shower door open and he steps aside as he finishes cleaning himself. Then, he hands me the bar as he moves under the showerhead to let the water take the soap away once again. He doesn’t look at me, he doesn’t speak to me and for a second there, I feel like I’ve done something bad, something wrong. Everything feels wrong. Even more when he steps out of the shower without a word and walks back to the bedroom. I stay there for a while, looking at the bubbles that are gathering close to the drain and trying to wrap my mind around what it is that I did or said that made him so angry.

When I walk into the room, Levi is wearing boxers and a pair of pajama pants. The bed is made with new sheets and he’s inspecting it, probably for any unusual stains. I start walking towards him but then decide against it. Maybe it’s a hidden message that I should be leaving, now that we’ve fucked and it’s over. I reach for my clothes, which are now folded on the desk and start dressing myself.

“Oi! What do you think you’re doing?” He asks from a couple of steps behind me.  
“I…don’t know.” I mutter as I turn to him. “Leaving, I guess?”

His eyes widen.

“Wait… what? Why?” He asks.

I frown.

“Well I sort of assumed that since you were back to being your usual…you… that you wanted me out of here.”  
“I…” He starts but then turns his head away as he folds his arms. “I… Look… I’m not used to this shit. I only have one night stands so usually they leave right after and we barely even say a fucking word. I’m just… I don’t know what to say or do.”  
“How about: ‘Thanks Eren, you’re the best fuck I ever had.’” I laugh, knowing really well that I can’t even begin to compare to what he probably already had but I’m willing to learn.

His lips quirk up but he doesn’t move.

“You don’t lack confidence.”  
“I was kidding.”  
“You shouldn’t be.” He says as his gaze meets mine again. “It was, one of the best I’ve had and you barely even moved so I can only imagine what the future holds.”

I blush from head to toe as I take a step back and hit the desk.

“So you still want me?” I ask.  
“Tch.” He says walking up to me and grabbing my wrist. “Of course I do. Like hell if I’m letting anyone even think of taking you away.”  
“Watch your words, you sound like you’re about to break rule #5.” I smirk.  
“Dream on.” He says, dragging me back to the bed.

I get pushed on my back and then cold fingers tug on my shirt.

“Take this off, you’re staying.” He orders.  
“R-Really? But…I don’t have a phone, Mikasa will kill me if I don’t come back.” I mutter, because I really don’t want to leave.  
“I’ll buy you another one tomorrow, text her with mine and tell her that your tutoring took all night and that you’re staying at Armin’s place.”  
“How do you know I’m friends with Armin?” I ask.  
“Facebook.” He sighs. “You’re really shit at confidentiality.”

***

A few minutes later, my head hits the pillow and my eyes start to close when I see a familiar shape climb beside me.

“What…what are you doing?” I ask.  
“Someone once told me I was a cuddler. I guess they knew…”

I smile to myself as I take the hint and tentatively wrap my arm around his waist. He doesn’t move for a moment but then his fingers lace with mine and I bring myself closer. I breathe into his undercut, taking in his scent; a mix of blackberries and aftershave that sends a numbing feeling inside of me. One that I will fail to identify as I drift away.

***

I can feel myself rising from the dead slowly. The weird feeling of your limbs starting to be under your control again. I try to stretch as a yawn escapes my mouth. It’s probably too early, it’s always too early. And I feel like I slept on a fucking rock. I try moving and then become aware of the arm wrapped around my waist and of the fingers tangled in my hair. W-What… Oh. OH!  
My eyes flicker open as I realize that my head is resting on Levi’s chest, who, is nonchalantly playing with my rat’s nest.

“Morning…” He whispers against the top of my head.  
“M-Morning.” I say, not daring to move even an inch of my body, especially not my legs, which are tangled with his. 

So it wasn’t a dream… It’s always a dream. I move my hand and pretend to rub my eyes as I pinch my cheek.

“It was real.” Levi says.  
“Damn… am I that obvious?” I laugh.  
“Well…you did tell me that you dreamed about this.”

I turn my face down, staring at the end of the bed, at the little bump that his feet and mine make. My heartbeat accelerates for some reason.

“Not too sore?” He asks.  
“Very much.” I say as I look back up to him. “But I’d take that over any other type of exercise to be honest.”  
“So you admit it then…” He smirks.

I close my eyes. I’m not ready to answer this. Or am I? Maybe I am ready for him, at least. Then again… it’s not like we’re an actual thing so it’d feel awkward to admit I’m gay. Like some sort of commitment I guess? I don’t know.

“Sorry.” He says a second later. “I won’t ask again.”  
“It’s okay.” I mumble against his skin. “I’m just…”  
“Eren! You’re not forced to do or say anything. Okay?”

I nod and we stay like that for a while until his hand finds the remote.

“Don’t.” I say. “Please don’t turn on the TV. I barely ever talk to anyone else than Mikasa. Just…tell me something. Anything.”  
“Shitty brat.” He sighs. “What do you want to know?”  
“Anything? I don’t know just…little talk. Is work still shit? Do you have other interests than what I already know? Anything, I don’t know.”  
“Well… work is still shit. As of the rest, I don’t think it’s a good idea to get to know each other too well. This is way beyond what I usually do already, so let’s keep it that way. It’ll be better for you.”

I raise myself on an elbow, not caring anymore if he objects or not, and glare at him.

“Look, I know what you said. I’m aware of your rules. Stop reminding me. And don’t try to tell me what’s good for me as if you knew better. You don’t know me.”  
“You’re right. I don’t.” He says, matching my glare and gesturing for me to take back my place in his arms.  
“You just made it so awkward, I’m not sure I want to, now.” I mutter.  
“Oi temperamental little shit!” He says as he takes a fist of my hair and yanks me back to his chest. “I said get the fuck back here.”  
“Ouch! Asshole, let me go!”  
“Stay put!” He orders, raising his voice.  
“Fine, fine! LET GO!”

He listens and for a brief instant there, I’m tempted to smile just as much as I want to punch him. I haven’t seen this Levi a lot yesterday and I like this side of him; the one where you can see the flame burning in his eyes.

“I hate you.” I lie.  
“I hate you too, so we’re good.” He snorts.

I pinch the little skin he has left on his abs, because he is so cut it’s not even funny, and he instinctively raises his knee and hits my face. Or perhaps it was totally planned. That fucker.

“Wow and you’re not lying when you say you hate me.” I mutter, rubbing my nose.

He nods.

“You know…” I start. “I had this idea about the game you were talking about. But…it’s stupid so I’m not sure I should tell you.”  
“What game?” He asks. “The game that we don’t have?”  
“The perfect entertaining, addictive game.” I add.  
“And what would that be?” He asks.  
“OK but don’t laugh.”  
“I don’t make promises that I don’t intend on keeping so I won’t agree to that.”  
“FINE! Whatever.” I sigh. “SO… I’ve been having these nightmares since my dad left us two years ago. Basically, I’m running away in the woods and I’m with a crew or squad or I don’t know…some other people dressed like me. Some sort of uniform like soldiers have but way cooler. Then I see them, those giants that look so creepy you’d actually piss yourself. And guess what? They fucking eat people!”  
“You’re a very disturbed child.” He smirks.  
“Fuck you too.” I laugh. “Now moving on… There are a dozen of them there and my squad gets eaten until there’s only me left. We have those wire things that hooks to trees and can make us jump around almost as if we were flying. We have to cut their neck, one of them told me. The nape? I think. But I never get there with those weirdass blades. I always get tangled in my shit way before that and end up stuck on the ground. That’s when something else happens… I don’t even know how but I transform into one of them? But like a much hotter version of them, not creepy, just...weird. And I’m a good guy, I fight and I kill them and all but then another dude from the squad always walks in and kills me, mistaking me for one of those creepy bastards.”

I pause and sit to look at him. He just stares back at me.

“So… what I mean to say is…there’s nothing like that out there yet. And… I’ve been thinking about a story to go around it. Like… maybe the guy knows where lies the secret of those monsters and all and he has a quest to go through to get there or whatever. Perhaps all humans are trapped inside some sort of walls and they…they go outside and try to find a way to eradicate those things and save people? I just… It didn’t seem so lame in my head.” I laugh nervously.

Again, all I meet is his blank stare until he finally decides to talk.

“Not bad.”  
“Really?” I smile.  
“Really. But I’m not sure that’s what THEY are looking for.”  
“Oh…”  
“Thanks for trying to help. But don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He says. “Tch. As if I was going to let them take away all I have. Not going to happen.”  
“Glad to hear it.”

He opens his arms and this time I don’t even attempt to disobey.

“Can we watch TV now?” He asks.

I pinch his abs again and earn another kick in the face.

“I hate you even more.”  
“Not as much as I do.”

***

I am so done. SO done with this fucking stubborn midget.

“Levi, we’ve been here over an hour and I already told you that I’m way happy with a regular shitty phone alright? You shouldn’t even be paying for this.”

His hand tightens around my wrist and I get the message. I should shut up. Definitely, shut up Eren.

“First of all, it’s sort of my fault if you threw it away. Second of all, I do not buy shitty things. And lastly, I’m paying so you don’t have a fucking say.”

I shrug and look away. Fine. I decide to start walking around, ignoring Levi’s comments on all the models he is looking at. Most of them are bad quality or don’t even last a year, at least that’s what he says. I hover over the Nexus one and then the iphone. I touch the screen and it illuminates, showing my face as the front camera remained turned on.

“Tch. Leaving a selfie for the next customer?” Levi smirks.  
“Course not. It was already turned on.” I sigh.  
“Shall we?” He asks, moving closer to me and picking up the phone from the little stand.

I just stare at him and I can see in his eyes that he wants me to kiss him right here and now and just leave the selfie here for everyone to see. But at least he doesn’t force me to.

“I’m not going to kiss you in public…” I whisper.  
“Wow.” He scoffs. “Thanks!”

I grab his shirt collar and sharply pull him closer as I glare at him.

“You know I didn’t mean it that way.”  
“But it worked.” He smirks before he quickly presses his lips on mine and snaps a selfie.

I don’t pull away, since the worst has been done already. When Levi does, I see the look of the guy behind the counter, half disgusted and half intrigued. I whip my hair around gently, making it hide the blush on my cheeks. Levi tugs on my sleeve to make me look at the photo. It is, indeed, a pretty shot. He looks back at me and probably notices my discomfort. He presses the bluetooth button and then pulls out his own iphone. He transfers the pic and then erases it from the demo.

“Thanks.” I mumble.

He nods before calling the employee. He walks up to us with a fake smile on his face and just leans against the desk.

“We’ll take the iphone.” Levi says.  
“Ok, our monthly plans go as…” He starts to explain.  
“I’m buying it, no contract.” Levi adds.

My eyes widen. Isn’t an iphone something like 700$?

“Are you insane?” I ask.  
“Shhh.” Levi says, pointing a finger at me.

I growl in response and just storm out to go sit on a bench. The people in the mall all seem like they are running out of time to find the perfect clothes or the perfect shoes when in fact they’ll be out of style the next week. I guess my priorities never were the same as theirs. I guess eating was my main concern. I wonder how these people would survive if they had to deal with starving. Can’t eat clothes after all, right?  
Levi walks out about 30 minutes later with the new phone in his hands. He hands it to me.

“Thanks.” I say as I take it. “You really didn’t have to.”  
“But I wanted to.” He replies and I just stare at him, standing up in front of me and still barely even exceeding my height in sitting position.

I laugh and he just looks confused.

“You’re so tiny.” I say.  
“Excuse me?” He says, his eyes darkening with a warning.  
“I meant that I like it.” I chuckle. “That even though you are so small, you can still beat the shit out of anyone and still make me feel like I have to obey every single command you give me. You’re tiny, but you don’t give a shit and I like it.”  
“Why does my height even matter?” He sighs, exasperated.  
“It doesn’t. But if the tables were to turn and I would be the one ordering you around…”  
“Tch. You can always try, but you will definitely fail.”  
“Is that a bet?” I ask.  
“Perhaps it is.” 

***

As soon as I cross the door, I see Erwin sitting with Pixis. The old man gestures for me to come sit with them and I side glance at Armin as I walk there. His face is unreadable but I detect a hint of worry in his eyes. Well I’m in deep shit, aren’t I? It takes a colossal effort not to smile to myself as I see Erwin’s eye all puffy and purple. Pixis coughs, bringing me back to reality.

“Young man, Mr Smith is stating that you attacked him for no apparent reason. Please explain yourself.”  
“Well…” I start to say but then ear the door behind me. I glance back and see Levi walk in. My lips quirk up as I bring my attention back to Pixis.  
The seat of the booth behind ours cracks and I know Levi just sat behind me.  
“Well Sir, as you already know, me and Erwin never got along. Unfortunately, he agreed to help me study for my French class but instead of doing so, he insulted someone who is very dear to me and I reacted on instincts. I really didn’t mean to punch him.”

And although this last part was a lie, Pixis simply nods.

“I only mentioned to him that he should be careful.” Erwin argues as my phone vibrates in my pocket.  
“Really?” I say. “Cause I remember you telling me that this person was nothing more than a whore and that I was their new toy.”  
“ENOUGH!” Pixis shouts. “Both of you will get along otherwise I will have to make a drastic decision. Am I being clear?”

Erwin and I nod, but it’s clear for the both of us that we’ll never get along.

“Erwin, your shift is over, I believe Annie is taking your spot for the night so go rest and put some ice on your eye.” Pixis adds. “As for you, Mr Jaeger, you are already late so get to work.”

I nod and get up, glancing back at Levi who’s smirking at me. I walk up to the counter, trying to keep the grin from showing up on my face as I pick up the two pizzas. I walk out the door without another look behind.

As I sit inside my car, I pull out my phone and see a blinking text message.

“A person who is very dear to you…”  
“What else was I supposed to say?” I reply, slightly aggravated.  
“Calm down! I’m not reprimanding you. I’m just surprised you consider me dear to you after so little time… be careful.”  
“I had to say it like that… I couldn’t say: ‘someone I fuck with’, sorry.”  
“Right…”

***

The last order of the night finally comes and I note the address down on the receipt as Armin spells it. Levi gets up and walks to the counter. He glances at the pizza box and then clicks his tongue.

“What?” I ask. “Having a craving?”  
“No.” He replies simply before starting to head out. “I’ll see you after the delivery.”  
“Alright.” I say before turning around and noticing Armin, staring at me.  
“Shut up, Armin.”

He raises his hands defensively.

“Hey, I didn’t say a word.” He laughs. “But the way your cheeks blush is really cute by the way…”

He runs to the kitchen, already hiding from the box of straws that I throw at him a few seconds too late.

***

I walk up the three steps and ring the bell as I stare at the red door. It’s a pretty house in a wealthy neighborhood. Not as much as Levi’s, obviously, but pretty enough to have me jealous. I glance through the window and see nothing so I ring the bell again and the lock clicks before the door opens.

“Hi! Hawaiian pizza with extra fr…” My voice disappears as I see Erwin standing behind the door.

My heart hammers against my chest and I know this isn’t right. He will make me pay. Somehow, I know he’s going to beat the shit out of me and then force me to blame it on some thugs or whatever. There’s no way he’d have ordered pizza otherwise. I hand him the pizza nervously and he pulls out his wallet. He hands me the money and tells me I can keep the change. I stare blankly at him. Really?... That’s all? I smirk as I slowly turn around and start making my way down the steps, when suddenly, I get yanked back by a strong grip on my hair. Another arm wraps around my neck as I get pulled back inside. The door starts to close as my screams are muffled by his big hand. I reach towards the door, trying desperately to keep it from closing. Eventually, the tiny ray of light from outside disappears and I’m left here, alone with this monster. He yanks me backwards again just to smack my head against the wall and hold it there as his body presses against mine. I may fight as much as I am capable of, but no matter what I do, I am completely stuck in those iron arms.

“So…I hear you like cock?” He whispers in my ear.

My eyes widen in realization and I scream. I try to scream at least. I scratch the wall with my nails and try to claw at his arms but he doesn’t even flinch. I kick and scream and cry but I’m all alone, as always. One of his hands travels under my shirt and glides down in my pants. Tears start to make their way on my face as my screams become more useless by the minute. I bite his hand hard enough that it tastes like blood. I spit it on the wall as his other hand lets go of my face. I scream for a second before the right side of my face suddenly feels numb. He hit me and he hit me hard. Black dots fill my vision as my mouth gets covered again. I’m losing strength but I’ll never lose my will to fight. I am determined to not let this happen. Unfortunately, my body isn’t supporting my beliefs. My legs give out under me as I feel my pants getting yanked down and my face being slammed back against the wall. I cry and cry and scream and bite but no matter how hard I try, it doesn’t help. I close my eyes, dreading the inevitable. Erwin’s breathing against my ear is disgusting and hot and I feel like throwing up. I almost do and he removes his hand quickly when I gag. My eyes open quickly. How did I not think of this before?

“HELP ME!” I scream for one last time, loudly, clearly and desperately.

My head gets crushed to the wall again, leaving me dizzier than before, when suddenly, I hear a loud noise beside me. It takes me a while, as I reopen my eyes, to realize that the door is hanging by shreds and a shadow makes its way inside.

“Levi?” I hear Erwin say before I hear a disgusting crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Ok so I know Levi was still all fluffly fluff (yeah ok im allowed to say it because its my levi okay? lol)... so yeah...he's nice now because of eren's first time and then because of erwin... but as we keep going, he'll start being the nymphomaniac asshole again (he doesn't want to break rule #5) so do not worry, this is far from over yet... Levi won't give in so easily and well... Eren still isn't gay...as far as everyone else knows... ^_^ I'm aiming for 20 chapters + Epilogue so 21... I won't update the number just yet.
> 
> PS: Comments are always much appreciated whether its feedback or general appreciation or................................ fanart (cause gosh I would totally die if someone drew scenes of this fic).... 
> 
> AHAH see you next week for another slice of pizza!


	8. Sugar and Vinegar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Hello lovely readers! Thanks for commenting on this fic, it motivates me to keep writing, I love reading your feedback and theories so much. Some of you actually sound like you live in my head lol. Anyhow, I’ve been a bit down lately for a couple of reasons but I’m working on it. The positive thing about this, is that it makes it easy for me to write chapters like this one to already be in this sort of mood lol… Anyways, I am sorry in advance for the feels. The next 3 chapters (including this one) will be a bit harsh to deal with, I am sorry but Levi needs to snap out of whatever the fuck he’s being stubborn about and in order to do that…well… you’ll have to read to know. So here’s the beginning of the box of tissue. 
> 
> Mood song:  
> Seether – Broken
> 
> *First LEVI POV towards the end*
> 
> PS: Also, since I got like 300-400 hits (ao3) when I posted last chapter, I’m pretty sure that Extra Pepperoni will be surpassing my other fic with this chapter, after only 8 chapters. So I am sending big thanks to all of you who read it and to some of you who certainly shared it otherwise it wouldn’t have gotten so many views. As previously mentioned, if you share it, make sure to tag me on your social networks so I can thank you personally! Also, thanks in advance to the 3 persons who said they are going to be drawing fanart of this fic, I really cannot wait to see it *squeals like a fangirl*… And if you have it in your mind to try and draw fanart of this, go ahead, there’s no good or bad fanart, there’s just ereri love ;)

“L-Levi” I whisper with a shaky breath as I collapse to the floor, no longer trapped by the giant.

My eyes slowly roll over to him. It’s all a blur and my vision kind of works in slow motion as I realize that my hands are covered in blood. Is it his? No, it definitely is mine. I raise a hand to my mouth and realize that I bit the inside of my lip pretty hard when Erwin hit me. It’s bleeding non-stop and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be needing stitches by how deep it is. It’s the least of my concerns though. I want to get out. I want to get out of here. All I can see is Levi’s foot, repeatedly hitting something on the floor. I would have to assume it’s Erwin’s face, or ribs? For all I care, he could kill him and I’d be totally fine with that. I slowly get on all fours as I hear Erwin begging Levi to stop, that he regrets, that he’s sorry. Is he? Is he really? I crawl slowly towards the remains of the door, not caring about the little shards of glass that find shelter in my palms and knees. Erwin is still begging and I hear Levi’s foot still going at it. I don’t know what’s more terrifying; the fact that he doesn’t seem like he wants to stop hitting him or the fact that he remains completely silent as he does. As I reach the door, I turn around and rest my back against the doorframe, trying to clumsily bring my pants up. I turn my head back to the scene and see that Erwin is unconscious. That’s when I realize that Levi might have just killed him. But I can’t accept that because that would mean jail for him, that would mean that I would lose him and I can’t lose him. I can’t.

“LEVI!” I yell with a clear voice.

He pauses, his shoulders moving up and down as he tries to steady his breathing. He slowly turns to me, his eyes hooded by his raven hair. He doesn’t want to look at me. I can see it. Worse, I can feel it. Perhaps, now I’m damaged, so he doesn’t want me anymore…but I don’t care. I can’t let him go to jail.

“Stop.” I beg. “Please, stop.”

His mouth opens as if he was about to say something but he stops himself. His jaw clenches shut and I can see his perfectly aligned teeth as a guttural growl rises up from his throat. For a split second, he glances up at me and his eyes will remain engraved in my memory forever. They’re red, shining with tears, angry tears, but most of all, they let me see the guilt he feels. And right now, even though I’m the one who needs to be comforted, all I want to do is reach up to him and wipe away those tears, smooth the frown off of his face and kiss those perfectly thin lips that are turned upside down, exposing a raging expression. I want to make him happy again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let this happen. I’m sorry that I had to witness Levi being so angry and sad. I should have known better.

Levi turns back to Erwin and with one last kick, breaks, what I assume to be, his arm. He then turns to me as I try to stand up. I hold on to the door frame but already feel dizzy. I sure as hell can’t drive my car now. I’m about to actually walk outside when Levi rushes to place himself in front of me with expecting open arms.

“I’m fine.” I say, not even believing my own words.  
“You’re not.” Levi says with a warning glare and I decide not to argue with him.

He carries me to my car and gently places me on the passenger seat before he disappears for a moment. I don’t even make out the amount of time he’s gone because my mind is already working at full capacity just to keep me awake.  
When he comes back, he simply takes the spot beside mine and pulls out of the driveway. The whole ride is silent, mainly because my lip hurt so I can’t talk so much but also because Levi seems to be totally out of it. I can see it by the way his jaw seems tense and his hands are gripping the wheel as if it offended him. Both houses might not be far from each other but it doesn’t keep me from falling asleep.  
When I open my eyes, it’s only because I hear Levi cursing at his keys as he struggles to open the door while holding me on his back. I slowly try to wiggle out of his hold but both his hands grip my legs and I just let myself fall limply back on him. Alright then…  
A minute later we’re inside and I sort of expect him to bring me to the couch and try and treat the wound in my mouth but I’m surprised when he grips me tighter as he carries us upstairs to the bathroom. He throws open the shower door and turns it on right away, not caring one bit about the water that splashes out because of the angle of the showerhead. He throws both our phones on the counter and steps in. I become rigid as the water hits us.

“Your clothes…” I whisper faintly.  
“Fuck the clothes.” He says as he slowly brings me down and makes me sit on the floor so that the water hits my back.

I stare blankly at him as he fumbles to take off my clothes. He clicks his tongue and eventually just grabs the collar of my shirt and pull from opposite sides, ripping it in half. He then moves behind me and sits with his legs on each side of my own, pulling my back to his chest as his hands slowly move to my neck. He starts massaging it and I notice, just now, how sore I actually am. I hope Erwin’s hands didn’t leave a mark there, I’m already miserable enough that there was even one witness, especially considering who the witness is.

“Thank you.” I murmur.  
“Don’t thank me.” He says, his hand pausing the motion.  
“You saved me.” I sigh. “Of course I’m thanking you.”  
“It’s my fault.” He says, his hands pressing harder on my shoulder as if he was trying to hold something in.  
“It’s Erwin’s fault.” I correct, sitting a bit more straight.

I feel his lips press against the back of my neck before he rests his chin on my shoulder.

“It’s my fault.” He repeats. “Because as soon as I saw the address, I knew something was up. I knew he’d do something to you and I didn’t stop you from going.”

I try to turn around but his arms wrap around my waist, not forcing me to stay there but begging me to.

“You knew he was trying to rape me?” I ask.  
“NO!” He exclaims. “I mean… I thought he’d be trying to pick a fight or something, so that’s why I didn’t say anything. Somehow, I hoped that, if it was going to happen, you’d be able to fight for yourself because I really believed you could. And quite frankly, I thought you needed to fight with him, it was plastered all over your face how much you hate the guy. And, I have to admit, I kind of wanted to you to come back at him for what he said about you being my puppy.”

He sighs and pulls me closer.

“But if I’d have known…” He trails off.  
“You followed me?” I ask, not really knowing what to make of this.

He nods against my shoulder.

“I followed you up to 27th avenue, where the light turned red for me. Those few minutes made a difference, a huge difference. I was too late.” He says, his voice cracking. “I never intended for you to be alone with him, not even for a second.”  
“It wasn’t too late!” I say. “You were right on time. If you would have arrived a minute later, then it would’ve been too late. But you were there and you saved me and I’ll forever be grateful for that. So I repeat, thank you.”

I move my hand to his and lace our fingers together. We sit on the cold tiles for a while as Levi slowly removes the tiny glass chards that are still stuck to my palms. Eventually, the water turns a bit colder and Levi gets up to lift me to my feet. I’m still dizzy but sitting did help a lot.

“I’m just going to wash myself quickly.” I murmur as I grab the soap bar, wincing at the sensation in the fresh cuts.

Levi nods and turns around to step out of the shower but I yank him back in.

“Stay.” I ask.

He nods again and leans against the wall as he takes off his clothes and throws them over the shower door. I start unbuckling my belt and then fumble a bit with the button of my pants as my vision is still a bit blurred from getting hit too hard and almost choked to death. My hands are shaking and I can’t do it on my own.

“Help me. Please.” I say, not daring to look at him.

He moves closer and then his hands reach for me but stop in mid-air. I raise my gaze and his eyes search mine. He doesn’t want to touch me there. I can’t help but smile as I grab his hands and pull them forward to my jeans.

“It’s just a pair of pants.” I say. “And it’s you, so it’s okay.”

I see his lips quirk up almost imperceptibly and perhaps even a bit of relief in his eyes? Although I am sure the guilt is there to stay, at least for a while. I just wish he didn’t feel like that. He might have known that Erwin had something in mind, not something like that, of course, but he followed me. He followed me to make sure I’d be okay. He cares and just that is enough to send my mind in dozens of different directions that don’t involve Erwin.

I end up washing myself completely at least 3 times as Levi leans against the wall, resolvedly looking ahead of him instead of at me.

“I’m done.” I say as I hand him the soap.

He snaps out of whatever he was thinking about and it worries me. He washes himself and I watch carefully as he does, taking in every trait of him, every details that makes him who he is. Why? Perhaps it’s simply fascination, adoration or maybe…maybe I’m scared that after tonight, he’ll refuse to be around me.

“I want to stay.” I blurt out and he stops moving to look at me. “I want to stay the night.”

He smiles.

“Did you seriously think I’d let you go?” He scoffs but then his eyes widen. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I’m not forcing you. You don’t have to…”

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I mean that I’d understand if you wanted to be alone now.” He adds.  
“That’s the last thing I want, Levi.” I whisper. “His… hands… His…breathing… The moment that I realized my body was done fighting… I… I can’t think about this. I want to be with you now. I need you.”

He blinks a couple of times as his mouth snaps back shut.

“Sure Brat, you can stay.”

He turns the shower off and opens the door.

“Wait, I’ll grab a towel for you.”  
“I don’t have clothes though.” I say.  
“I’ll give you some sweats that are too big for me, you can wear that if it doesn’t bother you.”

***

After we spent half an hour in the bathroom, sewing stitches into my fucking mouth, which has to be even more painful than the punch itself, Levi insists on carrying me to the bed and even though I find it annoying, I understand why he does it. At the same time, I rarely ever saw Levi so open with me and I have to say that his touch and proximity help me deal with the flashbacks that keep harassing my mind. He lies on his back and I find my place in his arms, my head laying on his chest as I hear the reassuring heartbeat underneath it.

“I meant it…you know…” I say, my fingers tracing a line on his stomach.  
“You’re going to have to be more specific.” Levi laughs and it’s such a heavenly sound in the situation, that I find myself wanting to make him laugh over and over again until my soul is at peace with what life has thrown at me today.  
“You’re dear to me.” I say, knowing I shouldn’t, but I do.

Levi’s hand grips my shoulder firmly as he presses me closer to him. He doesn’t say a word and I know that this is as close as I’ll ever be to break rule #5 because I wouldn’t let myself, I guess, and also he wouldn’t want that. He would have probably scolded me for saying that or even worse, thrown me outside if I told him that in any other situation. Right now though, he is my life line, literally, and I need him to know that. From this day on, I’ll be in his debt and if it keeps me here, in his arms, even just as a friend with benefits, then I am happy with that.

***

I wake up gradually, feeling my way out of the massive fog that invaded my mind. I blink but close my eyes right away as the sun hits my pupils like it wants to murder them. I yawn and stretch, not quite understanding why I feel so sore and why my mouth hurts so much. I turn to my side, desperately trying to shove my face into the pillow and fall back asleep, but instead, my cheek brushes against the soft undercut in front of me. My eyes fly open as the atrocious memories from yesterday flow back in. I sit up straight, panting as my eyes fill with tears. I let them fall silently, trying not to wake Levi but it’s too late. His arms already wrap around me as he presses a chaste kiss on my shoulder.

“Shhh.” He whispers, pulling me closer and forcing me to lay down beside him. “It’s over.”  
“I’m sorry I woke you.” I mumble shyly.

His hand finds my chin and he pulls it up so that our gazes meet.

“Don’t ever apologize for that.”

I nod and remain silent as Levi plays gently in my hair, bringing a sense of calmness that I never actually had a chance to experience before. 

“Why is he a cashier?” I ask.

Levi sighs over my head and if I was looking up, I’d probably meet a concerned gaze.

“Because he had an affair with an underage boy. The brother of one of his students.”  
“Consensual? He got caught?” I ask, suddenly having too many questions on my mind.  
“Yes.” He replies simply. “We shouldn’t talk about him.”

His hand moves down to rub my back and I just press my face harder on his chest as if I couldn’t be close enough. And suddenly I’m worried for something else entirely.

“I’m underage.” I sigh.  
“I know.” Levi says.  
“Aren’t you scared?” I ask. “What if your Company finds out?”  
“I wasn’t afraid until yesterday. Now I’m scared of what Erwin might do. Not to me, not to my Company, but to you.”

I raise myself on my elbow and stare into Levi’s eyes.

“Do you actually think he might go to the cops with this?” I ask, worried that I might have just condemned Levi to years of jail.  
“Maybe, maybe not.” He sighs, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. “Besides, you’re going to turn 18 in about a week, right?”

I nod and smile as I realize that he remembers every single detail so easily.

“Let’s remain calm and if the time comes where we have to deal with such a situation, then we will.”

Once again I nod, but I lose my smile. I wouldn’t let this happen to him. I’d deny it all, there would be absolutely no proof anyways.

“Maybe we should delete the photos we have on our phones.” I mutter, really not wanting to do that.

Levi shakes his head.

“No need to do that at the moment.”  
“Why take the risk?” I ask with a cheeky smile.  
“I’m not going to answer you. Don’t try and make me say things that I won’t say.”  
“It wasn’t my intention.” I smirk. “But this is just as good.”  
“Tch. Shut up!” He throws me a pillow and I start laughing before I realize that I am probably late for school.

I get up quickly and rush to the bathroom to pick up my clothes. Levi walks in and takes the clothes away from me.

“You’ll never wear those again.” He says, throwing them angrily into the garbage can.  
“I have to go to school, what am I going to do?” I say, grabbing a fist of my hair. “Mikasa is going to kill me.”  
“Calm down. There’s a Walmart nearby. It’s probably the only place open right now, so I’ll go buy you some things and then I’ll drive you to school. In the meantime, make sure you eat so we can leave when I come back.”

I nod.

“I’ll pay you back.”  
“Shut up, Eren.”

He walks out of the bathroom and I stay there a while, trying to make my hair look a bit more presentable and searching for a way to hide the bruise on my cheek. There really is no point in trying though. The door downstairs closes and I walk down to the kitchen. I open a couple of doors until I finally find some bread.   
I sit at the table, waiting for my toasts when I realize it’s the first time I’m alone here. Even though I have seen this place in its entirety already, there is one room which remains a mystery to me and right now is the perfect occasion to go see.  
I make my way downstairs as I hear the springs of the toaster lift up the two toasts. The door is there and it’s not shut, there’s a tiny light filtering through. Excitement fills me and my hand grabs the handle. Though, as soon as I do, I realize that I can’t do that. Why? Because he trusts me. Because I owe him so much that I can’t betray him, not even for something so trivial. I pull the handle towards me and close the door instead.

“Like what you saw?”

The voice startles me and I turn towards the stairs.

“L-Levi. I’m sorry. I… I didn’t go inside, I swear. I wanted to, but…but I didn’t. I promise.”

He glares at me and during a brief instant I’m worried that he might be angry enough to drop me to school and never call me again.

“Glad to know I can trust you too.” He smirks before going back upstairs.

I quickly follow behind and head straight to the toaster without looking at him.

“I forgot my wallet, but I’m going now. Need anything?” He asks.

And it almost slips from my mouth. Unconsciously? Or maybe consciously… ‘You’… I almost said it. I shake my head to chase the thought away but he also takes it as my answer and walks out. I sit at the table and sigh, not knowing what’s going on in my head lately. It’s like an ocean of feelings has emerged of the abyss that I’m used to and I don’t know which one to settle on. Although right now, I am mainly worried that Erwin will go against Levi but I won’t let that happen.

***

Levi parks my car on the side on the school. It’s the morning break, so I only missed one class. I know that Mikasa probably already received an email about that.

“Thank you.” I say turning my head back to him. “For everything.”  
He nods and presses his hand on mine.  
“Just be careful, you might not be as stable as you usually are right now, so keep it low.”  
“I’m never stable.” I smirk.  
“Idiot.” He laughs.

I get out of the car before Levi goes to drive it back to my place. I slowly make my way towards the door, not looking at anyone on my path. They ignore me, I ignore them, life is good when ‘the fuck up’ is left alone. I walk inside and make my way to my locker when my phone rings loudly. Fuck. F-Fuck. People are staring, some laughing, some simply disgusted by the bruise on my face. I struggle to find the button to turn it down since I’m not used to god damn Iphones. I swipe my thumb on it, giddily expecting a text from Levi but my faint smile fades when I see Mikasa’s number. It’s a text message.

“I switched my evening shift for the night shift. You better fucking be home by dinner time. I already told Pixis you’re not working tonight and he said he already knows. Whatever that means, your butt better be on this couch when I get home.”

I sigh. I knew it was going to get to this point eventually, where I would have to talk to her about school and getting bullied. I just didn’t want to have to mention Levi or even Erwin. Hopefully I can sneak into her bedroom and find some concealer to hide the bruise. Then again, it won’t hide my swollen lip. I’ll just pretend it’s Jean again. She’s used to us fighting. I type a response.

“Yes mom.”

Before I switch contacts and type to Levi.

“Can’t make it tonight, Mikasa wants to talk to me. She took the evening off. If that’s not scary, I don’t know what is. Anyways, you can come by later, she will be less prone to scream at me if someone’s there.”  
“I’ll see what I can do.” He replies.

I smile to myself, because I know he’ll be there, he’s just pretending that he hates me. This was never meant to be just a one night stand. We both agreed to being friends with benefits right away and so nothing keeps me from having some sort of affection towards him. Same goes for Levi towards me. I guess he finds it hard to accept. Then again, it might be the dependency on him that I’ve showed in the past few hours that is turning him off about the whole deal. It was agreed, that it wasn’t meant to last forever, but I still wished it would’ve lasted longer than that.  
I shove my phone into my pocket and head for my history class, the only class I’m actually interested in. The only class that keeps me awake. Today though, wherever I go, whatever I do, I either daydream about Levi or internally panic when images of Erwin resurfaces. Will I ever have to work with him again? What if he threatens Levi to tell the cops if he doesn’t keep his job at the pizzeria? What if he tries to rape me again and succeeds? I grab a fist of my hair and sigh loudly, louder than I meant to.

“What is it, Eren?” Jean snorts. “Your brain is melting from the effort?”

I don’t answer, remembering that Levi told me to keep it low today and it was a good advice. I shut up even though I just want to throw a punch at his horseface.

***

I hear the door open and right away, I shut the TV off and turn towards the exhausted face of my sister. She walks in and her eyes dart to the couch, making sure I am, indeed, there. She brings her bags to the kitchen and shoves a couple of things in the freezer before she pulls out a bunch of fries and throws them on a pan into the oven.

She washes her hands and side glances at me a couple of times before she actually makes her way to the couch. She sits, a bit more stiff than usual and looks at me.

“Did you lose your job?” She asks.  
“N-No.” I stutter. “Not that I know of.”  
“Then why did Pixis say you weren’t working tonight?” She asks.  
“Because I asked him for the night off.” I lie. “I had a fight with Jean, and I feel out of it. I get… I get bullied a lot lately.”

Right away, her hand pushes my hair away from my face. She gasps.

“Oh my fucking god Eren, you’re unbelievable. When will you ever get it? When will you ever grow up?” She says, much louder.

I’ve grown up quite some, lately, in fact. But she doesn’t know. It’s best if she doesn’t know how good of an influence Levi has on me. I didn’t fight Jean today, I held back. I’ve been more productive at work because I wanted to be on time to see Levi. My French class promises to be much easier now that I will have someone to teach me French. Everything seems to actually start to fall into place for once, besides that little incident of yesterday, that is. Her words hurt me more than I’ll admit, because I do try and she only makes me feel even more worthless and useless.

“I try.” I say with a shaky breath, knowing I’m about to break down.

Definitely, I’m not stable enough right now to have such a conversation about how lame of a brother and adult I am. As if I didn’t know all of this already. Does it mean I ever gave up? No, I still try. I always try.

“You don’t try hard enough. I’m going to have my schedule changed so I can keep an eye on you and how you study. I can’t have you come back here at 1am every night or not at all.”  
“It’s not because I’m somewhere else, that I don’t study and work.” I object.  
“I have no proof of that. Your grades suck, you fight more and more as the weeks goes, you’re about to lose your job for some reason that you won’t even tell me… I don’t recognize you.”  
“I’m just the same. I’ve never been better since dad left. I try Mikasa, I try.”

My phone buzzes, interrupting our conversation and Mikasa stares at it a moment.

“That’s not your phone.” She says as her hand snatches it away.  
“Yes it’s mine.” I say, trying to take it back.  
“How the fuck could you have an iphone 6? Eren?”  
“I… My friend broke the other one and bought this one for me after.”  
“Wait… you’re saying that a friend bought you an iphone 6?” She asks.

I nod, already feeling what’s coming.

“Would that moron of a friend’s name be Levi? The old creep that you keep hanging out with lately? The one you spend your nights doing god knows what with?”

My eyes widen as she turns the phone towards me, a text from Levi flashing. “You know, I won’t save your ass every fucking day. I didn’t sign up for this shit. I’m on my way.”

“I-I… It’s not like that. We’re just friends and he’s not a creep, he’s my friend. We’re just friends.” I stutter and end up grabbing fists of my hair as I try and growl my way out of this conversation.  
“Fine, you’re friends. Not that it looks suspicious that you had to say it 3 times in one sentence, but what does he mean by saving your ass every day?”  
“He tutors me in French.” I lie. “He was going to come over and make me study some more. I asked him to.”  
“Your ears are shining brighter than the fucking sun.” She says, tugging at one of them harshly and forcing me up to my feet.

She leads me to my bedroom and pushes me inside. I raise my hand, asking for the phone.

“You’ll get it back when you won’t lie, when you’ll study well, when you’ll have good grades and when you’ll stop fighting with everyone.” She says, placing it in her back pocket.

I take a step forward and she grabs the door handle. I blink a couple of times and cross my arms.

“What now?” I ask.  
“It’s for the best.” She says, a single tear running down her cheek as she pulls out an old key from her pocket.

I take another step forward, suddenly worried.

“M-Mikasa, w-where did you get this?” I stutter nervously.  
“Dad gave it to me. He said to not hesitate if I felt you were going to lose control.”  
“That… That’s…That’s the key… You’re going to…”

She doesn’t let me finish. She closes the door and I hear the lock turn.

“I’m Sorry…” She mumbles with a shaky voice.

I stay there for a while, standing up, looking at the door as if I had just imagined that Mikasa was slowly turning into my dad. What would be the next step? Hitting me if I didn’t cooperate? It wasn’t a dream though, I didn’t imagine this, she locked me in. I press my palms against my eyes, trying to make this disappear somehow.

“FUCK!” I say as I realize she has the phone and Levi is on his way.

But that’s a good thing, he’ll definitely get me out of here. He’ll ask to see me and she won’t have another choice than to unlock the door. I smile to myself as I start to gather a few things and throw them in my backpack. If, indeed, he pulls me out of here, I’ll ask for shelter for a few weeks until I can find a job and a place of my own. There is no way I’m going to forgive her for that. She knows what I went through. She knows I suffered physically and mentally back then. She didn’t turn off the lights and attach my wrists to my headboard, mind you, but this key and the door being locked is already enough to send me down memory lane. I can’t believe she would do that, no matter how desperate she could be. I can’t believe she actually believes this was a good decision. I shake my head angrily as I keep gathering clothes that don’t seem too disgusting. When I’m done, I sit on my bed and stare at the fan, pushing away the tears that threaten to come as memories make their way into my head. I don’t need to cry, this won’t last.

“He’ll save me.” I murmur.

***

**LEVI POV**

I remove my helmet and hesitate a moment. I haven’t stopped thinking about Eren’s eyes when I walked in on Erwin and him. That single expression where he was giving up. The faint smile that appeared on his face unconsciously as I shoved Erwin away from him. The smile that hides a thousand pains. The smile of someone who is broken but doesn’t know it yet. I know it all too well. I blink repeatedly, trying to erase the image from my memory. I never should have forced him into my life, at least not so deep into it that he would end up having to deal with this side of Erwin. Flashbacks of me, tied up and left with no safe-word , runs in my head. I may have liked some of it back then, but I remember having to actually hit him, for him to stop. He was always the type of guy that gets what he wants. Although jail brought the worst out of him, he knew where boundaries was, which is why I never expected him to do such a thing to Eren. I guess I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. His complicated, mechanical mind, probably works faster than mine. Perhaps he stopped caring a while ago, but I never noticed, too caught up in keeping our friendship as far as possible from anything even remotely close to a relationship. I always knew he’d never get over me. Not bragging or anything, but he said he loved me and that was a commitment I could never agree to. Not anymore, not ever. He knew that from the start and that’s why it ended. It’s only long after that I realized how much I suffered in this relationship, how much my voice was unheard by anyone around, especially him. I don’t want that for Eren. I’d never want that for him. In fact, I’ve been thinking way too much about the Brat lately and it is quite unnerving to have so little control over my own thoughts. He seems to be such an expert at the fall and I can recognize a younger version of me in him, a version that would’ve liked to have a hand to hold on to back then, even as broken as he was. I never got better though, I have this façade that I can put up as I please and toy around with in order to escape the broken heart that still lies in shattered pieces inside of me. I guess that’s the reason why I can’t stay away from him, I don’t want him to turn into me. I also don’t want to be the one breaking his heart, so I have been debating all day whether I should come or not. As much as I’d like to deny it, we now share a bond that is much deeper than fuck buddies have. Already, the fact that I took his virginity, makes him more attached to me, I assume, but now that I also saved his life and made sure to be there to comfort him and just generally being the opposite of what I am… I’m scared that it’s too late to run now. I may as well make this less painful for him and when the time comes when he is strong enough, I’ll push him away, like I always do. But I’ll miss him… I can at least say that.

I get off the bike and slowly make my way to the apartment door when suddenly it opens, revealing a girl with a red scarf and raven hair that seems to shiver under her coat. She starts walking when finally our gazes meet. She pauses, seemingly nervous. 

“L-Levi?” She asks, as if she didn’t remember my name.  
“Mikasa.”  
“What are you doing here?” She asks.  
“I’m supposed to help Eren study.” I say, hoping this’ll be enough for her to drop the subject.

Her jaw clenches and her fists tug on the bottom of her coat.

“H-He…He said he doesn’t want to see anyone, especially not you.” She stutters.

I sigh, knowing what this is about. She has her doubts, and it’s quite understandable, but I don’t believe a word she just said. She doesn’t believe them either, since her own tongue betrays her.

“Fine, I’ll call him and ask why.” I mutter, pulling my phone out.

She presses a hand on my wrist and quickly pulls out Eren’s phone from her back pocket.

“I was going to give this back to you. He said he doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.” She adds.

I pick the phone and glance at the screen, which has ‘Dark in need of light’ written in a nice font as the background. That’s from ‘Firestone’. I smile and then realize this makes no sense. Why would he have that as a wallpaper and then not want anything to do with me. Especially since I didn’t do anything. Especially since he said I’m dear to him. This isn’t right. This isn’t true.

She walks past me and presses a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

No she fucking isn’t. I wait until she’s gone before I walk up to the door and press the button with the rusty label ‘Jaeger’ on it. I hear the bell ring but it remains unanswered. I try a couple more times before my eyes start blinking frantically, something I do when I can’t quite understand a situation. I shake my head and pinch the bridge of my nose. So that’s it? It was all a fucking lie? What the fuck did I even do? Then again, maybe after thinking about it, he got scared of me and my entourage, he’d rather pass on other occasions of getting injured both physically and mentally. He’s brilliant, in fact, he did exactly what I wanted him to do. He started to get attached and then cut the string between us before it would hurt. It’s over. Good.

Then why does it hurt so much? And why does it feel like I can hear him call my name?

I shake my head and make my way back to the bike, shoving Eren’s phone in my pocket. I put my helmet on and fire the engine. It was never meant to last. It was never meant to last. It was never meant to last. I keep repeating it to myself. I close my eyes, chasing away the single tear that falls on my cheek and drive away from the boy named Eren Jaeger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): *waits for a slap to the face*
> 
> OK OK, let me explain. Levi feels worthless, he always felt that way since Petra died. So the fact that he usually doesn’t let people in and was on the edge of giving up for Eren, makes him give up on everything instead. Why? Because Eren suddenly doesn’t want him anymore. So he thinks… So he hurts more than he’ll admit. but he’s used to it so he removes himself from the equation. Sadly, not knowing what’s happening to Eren. 
> 
> See you next Monday for the next pizza slice!
> 
> (I’m sorry about the feels…no matter how I try, that’s just what I’m good at writing…) ;_; 
> 
> Comments are always read, replied to and much appreciated ^_^


	9. Spilled Ketchup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Posting this today… because why not? I’m not sure you’ll get a chapter on Monday though, I’ll try to post the next one some time next week but there is a possibility that it goes to the next Monday. I’m a bit busy these past few days but I promise to try. 
> 
> So I modified the plot a little so I think this’ll be the peak chapter for the angst part I mentioned. I guess it’s not really my fault, I started writing and well…they basically acted on their own in my head and here it is. Also… I’d like to know how many of you actually read this? Cause I won’t bother writing (A/N) if no one reads them. I’ll just write “Mood song: …” And that’s it. Or do you not look at the songs either? Because most of them, the beat AND lyrics apply to the chapter, which is why it’s a mood song……lol It helps to put yourself into the character’s mind in this particular chapter. Then again I’m not forcing you to. I listen to it anyways as I write but is it useless for me to write it here?
> 
> Mood song:  
> Evanescence – Bring me to life

**EREN POV**

I open my eyes and push the covers off of me, suddenly feeling like the tiny room is way too hot to stay hidden in bed. I glance at the ceiling and realize that the fan is turned off. I get up and flick the switch but nothing happens. The Hell hole is falling to pieces even more than it already was. I sigh as I sit back on my bed, beside my backpack, ready to be thrown on my shoulder as soon as the door will open. Somehow Mikasa always managed to sneak in some food and homework while I was asleep. I cursed at myself every time, for not being able to hear the noise and wake up to rush through the door and run away. She apparently told the school that I was really sick and unable to attend. Same goes for Pixis, who did ask more questions, to which Mikasa only found matching lies. I’m not sure exactly what she said, though. Hopefully he didn’t mention anything about Erwin. And what happened to Erwin? Worse, what happened to Levi?

It’s been what… 3 days? I don’t know, maybe we’re Thursday. I think we’re Thursday. I remember the bell ringing a couple of times. I remember screaming his name so many times that my vocal chords eventually gave up on me. She must have sent him away, she must have said something to him otherwise he would’ve come back. He would’ve asked why I’m not answering my texts, he-… But… what if she is answering my texts? Perhaps Levi asked what was going on and she replied, pretending to be me and said some shit to him like we shouldn’t hang out anymore. A new rage finds its way within my soul and before I know it, I punch the wall again. There’s a hole there now. For the past few days, every time I would start thinking about him or even worse, of Erwin pressed against me, I would punch this wall endlessly. Mikasa will probably be pissed off about the condition of my bedroom, but I honestly don’t give a fuck anymore, I want nothing to do with her. She can find her own place and have her own rules but as soon as this door opens, I’m out of here. To think I even had to pee in a fucking bucket for like two days, and even though she was emptying it every morning and night, this is inhumane conditions to live in, I hate her. I hate her with all my heart and soul. I’ve grown into hating her more as the hours rolled around, realizing just how much all of this, all of our lives were wrong because of a fucked up father figure. I can’t blame her, really, for turning out this way, but at the same time, she took that decision knowing what I’ve endured before. She hurt me on purpose and that is unforgivable.

When the moon’s at its peak, my eyes are still wide open, staring at the shadows on the wall and then at the few stars you can actually see through the metal bars of my window. The light probably shines a bit more on my wet cheeks but I’m not giving up. It’s the first day that I managed to sleep most of the afternoon in order to try and catch Mikasa as she opens the door. Happy tears, sad tears? I still don’t know, I can’t quite make up my mind. I sit and wipe my face before sliding my feet into an old pair of shoes, since my newest ones remained by the apartment door. I wait fifteen minutes, maybe thirty… or perhaps even an hour but I stay awake, trying to force my brain into reproducing Levi’s shadow on the wall, the few smirks and smiles I’ve had the chance to see. In that moment, I realize that my mind has replaced any happy places I’ve ever had with an image of Levi. Even him shouting at me for being a total idiot, is now a memory I cherish. Video games? A brief access to tumblr when the wifi actually works? I don’t need this. I don’t need anything besides him and the thought scares me. Now, I’m not in love with him, obviously… but I guess he makes me feel like I’m actually worthy of breathing the same air as everyone. It is, indeed, a bit weird to think like that about the guy who forced you to hang out with him in order to eventually get you in bed. Perhaps that’s what they call Stockholm syndrome. Or maybe I’m exaggerating… But whatever it is that makes me feel better whenever I’m near him, I don’t want to lose it. Even though I know this isn’t permanent, that this’ll end some day when he gets tired of me, I am willing to appreciate every moment until then. So long as he doesn’t mind having me over for a little while until I can fall back on my feet. If he accepts, it means I’ll be fine. Everything will be okay…if I get out of here. Will I ever really get out of here? With my own free-will I mean? Without being under her command as the poor parenting replacement that she is? I don’t want that. I don’t want this life. 

Suddenly, the lock of the door emits a tiny click. My eyes dart to it and right away I’m on my feet. I stand behind the door and wait until a crack, wide enough for my fingers, appears. As soon as it does, I slide my hand in and throw the door open along with Mikasa who was not prepared for this. She falls face first on the floor as she loses her balance. GOOD!  
I run to the front door, faster than I ever ran. She doesn’t even stand a chance if I can reach the outside door. I hear her scream my name as I rush down the stairs, skipping steps on my way as I’m about to be free, finally free and who fucking cares what’s going to happen after that. She knows she can’t try to force me back here because I’m 18 now. As of about an hour ago, I am now an adult who can make his own decisions and who can damn well decide on dropping school, living elsewhere, buying a fucking car, I don’t care.

***

**LEVI POV**

I wake up, startled by the door bell and sit up straight in my bed. I blink a couple of times, trying to see if I dreamed this but a second bell rings, telling me I have to get up. 

“The fuck?” I mumble as I put some pants on and rush downstairs.

I throw the door open, about to yell at the fucking idiot who dared to disturb my sleep, when I meet his eyes; the perfect green orbs looking right back at me. And during a moment there, I’m tempted to reach for him but thank god I don’t.

“Eren?” I ask.

His eyes fill with tears and he reaches forward, basically throwing himself into my arms. I stumble a bit before I manage to steady myself. I hesitantly wrap my arms around him and awkwardly tap his back before I pull away to gaze into his eyes.

“What’s going on?”  
“M-Mikasa… she… she locked me in.”  
“She what?” I ask.  
“She locked me in my room. She took my phone away.” He cries. “I’m so sorry.”

I sigh, rubbing a hand on the back of my neck and looking anywhere but at him. Did his sister really do that to him? I’m filled with a sudden urge to go find the bitch and show her why she’ll never contact Eren again. Then again… I need to keep my head cold for what I’m about to do. I need to remain stern, clear and strong…not for my sake, but for his.

“So that’s what it was, eh? Listen, Brat, you can crash here for the night. Even though I have no idea what the fuck is going on in your head right now and have no intentions of getting involved in your family shit, I’m still willing to offer you my couch… But I see where this is going and I don’t think we can keep this up.”  
“C-Couch? W-what?” He says, wide-eyed.

Why does the little shit make it so much harder. I made up my mind yesterday, and the fact that his sister is some fucked up psychopath, doesn’t change the fact that he is getting too close. Why doesn’t he simply agree to stay here for now and just leave this be, let us be over. I can’t do this either, I can’t ‘just fuck you’ so please let me end this and stop looking at me like that. Gosh I wish I could say it but it would only give him more motivation to keep going.

“Whatever we had, this fuck friend thing, I’m putting an end to it.” I reply.

He stares at me blankly, waiting for the moment where I say this is a joke, until finally, he realizes it’s not.

“Are you fucking serious?” He asks with a new anger in his eyes. “What did I do to make you change your mind so quickly? It’s not like it’s my fault I couldn’t come over every night and broke your trust, I was locked up in my fucking bedroom, pissing in a fucking bucket and eating god damn sandwiches once a day. What the fuck did I do? Or did you just realize ‘the fuck up’ wasn’t the piece of ass you wanted? You found another one, is that it?”

He trails off and just stares at me, tears streaming down his face.

“Oh wait…” He says. “Perhaps you went back to Erwin, is that it?”

I hear the slap before I realize where my hand is. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have said those things to him, I should have waited and just hugged him. For god’s sake, the kid did look pretty miserable when I opened the door. My timing always sucks anyways, it’s not like I’m good at this borderline relationship crap, especially when he says stuff like this. Who the fuck does he think I am? I would’ve killed Erwin if he didn’t ask me to stop.

He blinks a couple of times, processing what he just said and how I responded, before his jaw clenches as he turns around and starts walking away.

“Eren!” I call.  
“Fuck you, Levi. I wish I had never met you.”

And that hurt, that hurt more than anything I was ever told, everything I ever endured. They are just words but they hold so much behind them. He’d take it all back. Whether it’s when we met and I was an ass to him, or simply the little talks, the nicknames, the photos, or even the sex, he regrets it all. But it’s my fault. And it was the right thing to do after all, because I can’t let myself do this and I can’t let him in. Not even if I might want to. Why? Because it would break him further than he is right now and that would definitely be a point of no return. If there is one thing I refuse, it’s to be the end of him.  
I close the door, climb back upstairs to the bed where I’ve been sleeping lately. As my head hits the pillow, I realize that sleeping won’t be an option anymore. I sit up straight and turn on the TV, trying to erase the memory of him standing in front of it, stark naked, browsing for songs. My hand travels up to my chest, where is head should be resting right now and I close my eyes. We were, indeed, beautiful back then. Now we’re just a mess.

 

***

 

**EREN POV**

I get up from the sidewalk across the street from Levi’s house. I’ve been crying for over an hour and somehow hoped he’d be running after me, but he didn’t. And I knew it would be like that. He was honest, he told me as soon as this all started that this was nothing more than a quick fuck once in a while. How, in such a short period, I have let myself become so attached to him, is the main question on my mind. And now that it’s all gone, that I’m alone, even more than before, what does this mean for me? Can I go to school? Where am I going to live if I’m not even sure I still have a job? Am I…Am I gay? I sigh and pull at my hair as I start walking, trying to find a bench or somewhere I could rest at for the next couple of hours until school starts. Isn’t it at 40 that you’re supposed to be questioning your entire existence? Not 18? Because right now, I don’t even know where I’m going and why. I have absolutely no reason to breathe.

I settle for one of the benches on the side of the soccer court at school. It’s not comfortable but it’s made out of wood, as opposed to the metallic ones in front of the school yard, which are cold as fuck. Of course, it’s on the coldest night of march that I have to escape the Hell hole. How is it so cold in spring? I’ll never know, but April doesn’t look very promising this year. It’s going to be one hell of a problem if I have to sleep outside for a while. I pull a hoodie out of my bag and put it on. I’m still shivering but it’s a bit better. Of course it would help if my shoes didn’t have any holes in them. Can’t have everything, can I? No, in fact life has decided that I had absolutely no right in claiming anything, not friends, not a job, not a degree, not even good looks and certainly not even love. I look like crap, I feel like crap and now I’m going to be living my life just like what I am, an unworthy little shit.  
I lay down and close my eyes, only finding sleep later in the morning, to be awaken by the sun about 30 minutes after. Some students have started gathering in front of the school and thank god it’s early enough that none of them saw me here. I get up and straighten myself up a bit before I head inside and walk straight to the bathroom. I clean my face a bit and try to tame my hair but it doesn’t really help, I still look homeless. Well fuck you too, mirror.

 

***

 

I managed to spend most of the day away from the judging eyes of my classmates. While some other times, I didn’t really have a choice. Like in the hallways, between classes, where I had to focus on a particular dot on the wall instead of people’s voices judging every single movement I made, every piece of clothes I was wearing… basically every part of me. I did hear though. I heard too many things. “Why is his hair so disgusting?” “He stinks, I swear.” “I heard he went to jail to visit a family member.” “Oh I heard he got raped.” …

“SHUT UP!” I shout, keeping my head down in front of my locker.  
“What?” The girl says. “What did you just say, fuck up?”  
“I said shut up.” I reply, dropping my bag to the floor as I turn around and remove my hood.

The two girls start laughing at me as a little group gathers around us, most of them joining their laughter. I clench my fists.

“Oh look, Hitch, it talks!”  
“MY MY MY” Jean says as he walks straight up to me with a judging look and his usual smirk. “What happened to you? No…I don’t want to actually know, I’ve heard the rumors but I’ve heard an even better one… wanna know what it is, Jaeger?”  
“Leave me alone, Jean.” I say through clenched teeth, trying to keep every fiber of my body under control.  
“Say it.” Hitch shouts excitedly. “Tell us!”

He pauses, turns around to glance up and down at her and then shrugs before turning his attention back to me.

“Alright beautiful, let’s tell Jaeger what I heard.” He laughs. “Monday, my cousin came over to pick me up after school, we were going to see a football game. And guess what he says when I get in the car?”

I stand there without answering, knowing I should just walk away but that the large group wouldn’t let me.

“He looked through the window and said ‘fag alert’. So right away, I looked around and tried to spot the guy. So ‘Who’s a fag?’ I ask. And guess who he points at? ‘The kid with the messy brown hair’ …”

Whispers travel through the hall as I bring my head down. It’s Armin, it has to be Armin. He’s the only one who knows. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe he would tell someone. Of all people, he’s the person I trust the most in this world, how could he? I fix my gaze on my shoes, thinking of everything but this, everything but Levi.

“See…” He continues. “My cousin works at this store in the mall and it turns out Jaeger’s boyfriend bought him an iphone after a little make out session. Guess he found himself a sugar daddy, is that it Jaeger?”

A new wave of laughs, a new row of fingers pointing at me. My legs are shaking as I desperately press my nails into my palms.

“He doesn’t even try to deny it.” Jean scoffs. “Or perhaps he’s too absorbed, thinking of his D up his ass.”

That’s it. I dash towards Jean and throw my fist at his face. A second later, I get hit in return and then a kick on the left, one on the right until I can’t really see anything.

“It’s not true.” I scream. “I swear I’m not gay. Please stop.”

My left hand cracks and I’m pretty sure someone stepped on it and broke a couple of fingers there. I scream but Jean keeps hitting my stomach. Eventually, I feel cold air on me as the group dissipates. Shadis emerges from behind them and kneels beside me. He looks for injuries but seem to notice there’s only my hand that’s hurt. He lifts me up to my feet and picks up my bag.

“We need to get you to the hospital.” He says.  
“I don’t need your help.”  
“Jaeger, I know you don’t need help. I know you can do everything on your own, but it’s okay to let people help you once in a while. Not all of them have bad intentions, alright?”  
“Whatever, I can go on my own, I’m fine.”

He sighs and lets got of me.

“Fine. But be safe.”  
“Why do you care, suddenly?” I scoff.  
“I always cared, you just didn’t let me. Your mom was dear to me and I tried to tell you many times that I’d like her to be proud of you.”  
“Well I’m a fuck up anyways so she wouldn’t be. Don’t bother wasting your time on me.”

Dear to him, eh? Dear… Dear to me… FUCK. I hate this word. I walk out the door, not really knowing where to go because I can’t afford to go to the hospital but I think I don’t have a choice. It’s snowing. Light flurries fall and leave a shimmering white cover on the ground. It never snows here, or very rarely. I shiver and pull my hoodie closer as if it’d help, wincing at the bruises on my stomach. I ignore the pain in my left hand and start walking towards the hospital. It should take me about two hours to get there so I just hope I won’t freeze in the process. If anything I’ll just go to a coffee shop and get out when they notice I’m not ordering.

When I get kicked out of a Starbucks an hour later, it’s already dark outside, so I decide to try and jog for a bit since that would definitely warm me up. It does help but my feet are still cold. In fact I feel like my toes are about to fall off. It must be the coldest day we’ve had in years. Or perhaps I’m just weak and generally done. Eventually, I slow down and notice a McDonalds across the street. I get off the sidewalk and start walking through the pedestrian lines when I realize that a set of lights is coming at me and not slowing down. The large pickup truck slides on the asphalt as it tries desperately to brake. It fails.

 

***

 

“Sir! Keep your eyes open. Sir!” I hear some woman say as I feel myself being carried.

I try to move my head to the side but am restricted by something. My hands are tied and basically my entire body is stuck. I open my eyes long enough to realize that I’m on a stretcher and that they are sliding me inside an ambulance. The little bump makes me wince as my left side moves slightly. The lady closes the door behind her as she climbs beside me.

“Name?” She asks.  
“Eren Jaeger.”  
“Anyone we can contact?” She asks.

My brain screams the name but my mouth remains closed. She types on her computer and then turns to me.

“Mikasa Jaeger?”  
“NO!” I shout. “Not her.”

She sighs and probably ticks the ‘no contacts’ box.

“Levi…” I say in a low breath as it gets harder to breathe. “A-Ackerman.”  
“Levi Ackerman?” She confirms.

I’m about to nod but then I start feeling dizzy. Breathing is extremely painful and my eyes close on their own as I hear the paramedic start to scream orders at the one that drives.

“Internal bleeding, small laceration on the left side. Possible glass residue stuck inside. He needs surgery, make it quick.”

I snort and smile. Seriously? Perhaps this was my life, maybe this is how it ends. Maybe it just wasn’t made for me. Life has a weird way of showing you where you belong or not. Sometimes it involves the fact that you are breathing or not. I guess I’m more the latter now. I guess this earth is not a place for fuck ups like me, for monsters like me. It’s probably a relief in a way, because no one will have to deal with me anymore and I won’t have to deal with hating myself any longer. I just hope they’ll live a good life. Especially him. Especially…him. 

"No pulse!" She shouts.

I lose conscience between a dose of something, injected on my left, and the resounding alarm of a rushing ambulance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): *hides under a table*  
> (the big angst part is over)
> 
> Please understand that Levi will react to this and don't kill me ;_;


	10. Home delivery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Come on... say you love me. Nah ok just kidding but I have a massive headache from writing this in one shot. I will probably regret it later. Thanks to those of you who told me they read this. Now you won't have an update until next monday for sure. (You guys will stop believing me lol, but it's true this time XD...) I've been feeling a bit blue lately and what's keeping me happy is writing and drawing, therefore here you go =D. Also for those of you who cosplay, I made my reservation for AnimeNorth 2016 so I'll be there again if you wanna meet me ^_^. 
> 
> I will be selling ereri button/badges (I will post the link tonight on instagram and tumblr) so if you want to check those out:  
> instagram: hikarimitsuko  
> tumblr: hikarimitsuko.tumblr.com  
> or my sideblog: attackonerenlevi.tumblr.com
> 
> Mood song (which also plays in the chapter):  
> The Saint John's - Your head and your heart (guys........listen to those freaking lyrics and how much they apply to both of them okay? *cries alone in a corner*
> 
> EDIT: OMG I forgot to thank you guys...I had like 400-500 hits on chapter 9 Thank you ;_; I can't believe this lol

**LEVI POV**

I can’t even remember how I got here. I’m pretty sure I broke at least 25 laws on my way but I really don’t give a crap. I catch a nurse that runs towards the surgery room.

“Excuse me. Are- Can I know- My boyfriend’s in surgery, I want to know what happened.”  
“Go to the nurse’s desk.” She says before leaving.

I turn and walk back to the counter, waiting at least 5 minutes for a nurse to come see me, gradually losing the little patience I have. This simple call, where this lady was saying they had a patient named Eren Jaeger who set my name as an emergency contact, was enough to make my heart stop. Why was he in the hospital? I rushed as fast as I could but still have no answers. She looks up at me and I ask right away.

“Hi! I’m Levi Ackerman, Eren Jaeger’s... boyfriend. Can you please tell me why he’s in surgery? I need to know what happened.”  
“Let me see…” She looks at a pile of papers and then another one.

My patience is running low and I start tapping my foot on the floor.

“Oh, there it is.” She says as she reads the notes. “He was hit by a truck as he was crossing the street. He’s in surgery for internal bleeding. Don’t worry he’s in good hands.”  
“Tch.” 

I turn around and walk to the chairs beside the surgery room. What have I done? Why did I push him away? God I was so stupid. I can’t do this, I can’t let myself… I can’t. But what if he dies? It feels like tiny needles are poking my eyes but I fold my arms and try to breathe. 

In the end, I sit there for about 3 hours before a nurse finally comes out with another one, stating how she had to use adrenaline on the kid while the other one was ready to use the defibrillators. My foot starts tapping the ground frantically as I start biting my nails. That’s a disgusting habit, especially if I consider everything I’ve touched but I can’t help it. I need to distract myself.

When I hear the door open automatically and wheels squeaking on the ground, I raise my head. I see Eren, covered in bruises, his fingers taped together on his left hand. I raise a hand to my mouth as I stand up and start following them.

“Can I help you?” The nurse asks.  
“I’m…I’m his boyfriend.”  
“Oh! I see. Well, Mr. Jaeger is out of danger, but he is in a coma. Unfortunately, he had to be intubated for a long period of time while he was in surgery, so we will have to check up on him more often to make sure he keeps breathing on his own. If not, we’ll re-intubate. We don’t know when he’ll wake up or if he will wake up, sadly. I am sorry Mr….”  
“Ackerman.” I say, completely numb.

I follow them, in a fog, unable to shake the thought from my head, that this is my fault. That somehow, this poor kid, the one who wanted nothing more than fucking cuddle, is in a hospital bed and might never wake up. That I never got a chance to see what this could be… That I never was man enough to tell him that I wasn’t only pushing him away, but keeping myself from falling in too deep. 

I touch his cold fingers after they place him on his actual bed. Of course I’m paying the medical bills so he has a private room but it was mainly so I could stay here with him. Which I intend on doing. I will stay until he wakes up.

“You’ll wake up. You have to wake up. You have to give me a second chance." I let out a shaky breath. "Not again…please not this again.”

 

***

 

**EREN POV**

Why is it so dark? Why can’t I see anything? It just seems like my eyelids are so heavy and…so far, in a way. How do I open them? I really can’t. I try and focus on moving any other part of my body but it’s impossible. It’s not working and I don’t know how much time passes until I can actually start moving my fingers. The ones of my left hand hurt a lot. That’s when I remember the accident and everything prior to it. That’s when I start hearing the steady beeps of machines that are probably hooked to me. I’m alive then. Paralyzed maybe? I sure hope not. Why am I in such a fog? How long have I been here?  
Suddenly, a low humming catches my attention and I realize someone’s in the room with me. I send the command to my muscles, to turn my neck, to raise my head, to open my eyes, but nothing happens. I lay there and wait, listening to a melody I can’t quite recognize until he actually starts singing in a very low voice, almost imperceptible.

**And I haven't heard your voice yet**  
**But I want to so bad**  
**And I'm not ready for this**  
**But I won't let you give it up just yet**  
**Yet**

**Maybe your head is not where your heart is**  
**I'll sleep alone tonight**  
**And if our bones can stand to be apart**  
**Then I'll leave it your head and your heart**

How dare he? Sing things like that beside me? How dare he, come visit me on my death bed if he doesn’t want anything to do with me. How dare he, pretend he does care, when he left me in my darkest time. I hate him. I hate him so much and I have never seen life as clearly as I am seeing it now. My heart doesn’t hate him, but my head sure does. How dare he.  
I slowly raise my right hand and clench my fist, slamming it back on the bed. The humming stops and my eyes flutter open. Levi is sitting on a chair near the wall beside me. As soon as our gazes meet, he gets up and rushes to me. He stares into my eyes for a moment and then a faint smile appears on his face right before he leans down and presses his lips on mine. I’m too weak to push him away. I want to, but I can’t. Even if I could, I’m not sure my body would want to. He pulls away and his eyes are red. He blinks away what seems to be tears and I frown. How dare you? He leans in again and whispers in my ear.

“I’m sorry.”  
“H-Ho-“ I start but feel my throat burning. I cough a couple of times and try again.  
“Take your time.” He says, brushing a strand of hair away.  
“H-How D-Dare you?”

He stands up straight and frowns at me. No, mister shitty attitude, I’m the one who gets to keep the pissy face this time. I blink away the tears that threaten to come out. He sighs and sits beside me on the bed.

“Brat, I am sorry.”  
“S-Sorry for what? It’s not your fault if I’m here.”  
“Did you try…?” He starts but stops himself.

I laugh and it hurts. My throat hurts so bad.

“Course not. I’m not a coward.” I scoff.

He seems relieved and tentatively tries to grab my right hand. I pull it away from him.

“Why are you here?” I ask.  
“Because I care.” He answers straight forwardly and I have to admit I’m surprised.

His gaze meets mine and during a moment, my determination to end this or at least make him pay, falters.

“Well you should have cared when I needed you the most.” I sigh. “Look, I get it, you thought I was getting to close. Maybe I fucking was because maybe, just maybe during a brief instant, my heart took over my brain and figured it’d be a good idea to start liking you a bit more than what we agreed on. MAYBE I would’ve been able to think of you as something more than a fuck buddy. But you know what, Levi? I knew that you didn’t want that and I was respecting your choice. Especially since it was pretty fucking unbelievable for me to want more from you, from a guy. To admit to myself that yes, I am gay, alright?... I was ready to be nothing more than what we were, so long as I had a place to go to, someone I could trust, someone who cared. And it’s that night, the night I need you the most, as a friend or whatever else, that you choose to push me away because I was getting too close. I get it, I don’t blame you, I was prepared…but your timing was shit, Levi. I needed you. I needed someone, anyone but I wanted this person to be you. As a friend. I needed you.”  
“I’m sorry.” He repeats, reaching for my hand and forcing it into his. “I truly am.”  
“Whatever. I’ll understand if you want to leave now. I didn’t ask you for a relationship, but the bottom line is pretty much the same and that’s not what we agreed on. I know you can’t do it, the same way I can’t let myself become too attached to you.” I sigh, tears streaming down freely on my cheeks. “And I don’t regret meeting you. I’m sorry that I said that. I didn’t mean it. I wanted to hurt you.”

He frowns as his fingers tangle with mine playfully.

“No need to apologize. My timing is, indeed, shit.” He chuckles. “And…about us… I just… I don’t know what I want anymore.”

My heartbeat accelerates for some reason and I just want it to stop. It’s painful and I know that the way it hurts now, is nothing compared to how it will hurt when he'll walk away from me. He takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I don’t want to stop seeing you. But I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, the same way I just have. Now I’m not saying I want a relationship…” He starts but then tugs at the back of his neck with his other hand. “I don’t know what I’m saying, in fact.”

I blink a couple of times at him. Red cheeks, a shy smile, a hooded gaze… I can’t help but giggle.

“You look like a lovesick teenager.” I say, preparing myself for a punch that doesn’t come.  
“Ah.Ah. Very funny, Jaeger. Don’t go around labeling things that don’t exist.” He warns. “I want to keep seeing you, so don’t say anything stupid.”  
“I wasn’t planning to say anything out loud.” I laugh.  
“Oi! This is borderline, you ass.” He snorts.  
“I’m just kidding, calm down. I’m not in love with you, Corporal Cupid.”  
“Don’t call me that.” He says sternly.  
“Why? What’s the thing with Corporal or Captain? Why do you react this way?”

He sighs and shrugs.

“Because that was my nickname with Erwin.” He sighs. “The few times he used that name, it meant I was going to be in charge. Which was never actually true… he always flipped me back on my back or threw me face front on the bed as soon as he was tired of me commanding him. He didn’t like it at all. It was painful, and not fun. It was a punishment for trying to control him and I knew it every time. I stayed every time. I was a fool.”

I stare at him a moment, not knowing what to say. I want to ask about Erwin, about my job. I want to know what happened to Jean…but now is not the right time. Erwin was mean to him the whole time. How they stayed friends is a mystery to me. Levi did suffer way much than he tells. His past seems pretty dark, just like mine. Maybe that’s why we get along. Maybe it was written in the stars that two fucks ups together would make two decent human beings in the end. But Levi isn’t a fuck up. I’m sure he never was. I may hate myself, but I refuse to let him hate himself. He’s a good man and I will prove it to him the same way he showed me who I truly was. I tighten my grip on his hand.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper between two coughs. “Maybe someday I can change your perception of that nickname, if you let me.”

He smirks before he gets up and walks towards the door.

“Are you leaving?” I ask right away, internally panicking and wondering about a strategy to keep him here.  
“Idiot, I’ve been here for the past 2 weeks. You think I’m going to leave now?” He sighs. “I’m just going to see the nurse, she needs to know you’re awake.”

Two weeks? I’ve been in a coma then? I thought the accident just happened. How… Two weeks? And he was here the entire time…

***

After a series of tests, the nurse tells us I can leave as soon as the doctor gives his permission, which should be around dinner time. It turns out that two of my fingers were broken prior to the accident. Then, the bruises that Jean caused while kicking me, were already swollen with blood when the pickup truck hit me. That’s when a tiny chard of glass made its way inside of me, right beside my left lung, hitting a vein on its way. It was hard to see at first, the internal bleeding, all of this because of the bruises I already had. I guess I was lucky, but they said that my heart almost stopped twice while I was in surgery, which might leave me with migraines in the future. The blood pressure was low for a long period of time and it might leave me with some hidden side effects later on. I feel great though, so it’ll be fine, I’m sure of it.  
Levi sits back beside me. This time, it’s my hand that finds his and he smirks at me. I want to punch him. Or kiss him. I can’t really decide.

“Your sister came by a few times.” Levi says after a while. “We didn’t talk.”  
“Yeah…speaking of that, how did you manage to stay here the entire time? You’re not family and what about your job?” I ask.  
“Well…you did ask for me before you passed out, apparently.” He grins. “And when I got here I told them I was…well… you know…your boyfriend. I-I… didn’t want them to question why I was here… - god Eren, erase that fucking smile off your face right now or I will - ... And my job can always wait. Right now I’m working on a huge project so they can’t fire me. They need me or else they’ll lose the project. Do not worry about those things, worry about you. And quit smiling, moron.”  
“I can’t help it.”  
“I only said it to be able to stay.” He replies.  
“Right…” I laugh.

The door creaks open and I see raven hair emerge inside. Levi stands up and away but I don’t let go of his hand. I pull him back to where he was sitting. Mikasa’s eyes dart straight to our linked hands and she frowns before walking up to me. She glares at Levi before leaning down and kissing my forehead. I turn my head as soon as she pulls away.

“I’m sorry.” She says.  
“I don’t want to hear it, Mikasa.” I reply.  
“I have nothing else to offer than my apologies.”  
“It would have been better if you never did it in first place.” I add.  
“What do you want me to do?” Mikasa asks.  
“Fuck off.” I say.  
“EREN!” She warns.  
“What? You’re not my mom.” I say, turning my gaze back to her. “We’re on the same level here. I said fuck off and leave me alone.”  
“You heard him.” Levi says with a warning in his eyes.  
“I’m not talking to you, midget.” She replies.  
“AND I SAID YOU HEARD HIM.” Levi raises his voice as he stands up and tries to let go of my hand but I pull hard on it.  
“Stop it, both of you! STOP.” I say. “Look, Mikasa… we need to talk. Sit down.”  
“I’m fine here.” She replies.  
“As you wish.” I add before forcing Levi back on the bed.

I take a deep breath and try not to cough too much.

“So… what I told you before, that life was finally starting to get better for me and that I was trying harder at school and at work and all…it was the truth and the reason was him.”  
“I didn’t do shit.” Levi objects.  
“No.” I laugh. “But you gave me the will to want to be better, so yes it’s because of you.”  
“Okay, what am I missing here?” Mikasa asks, pointing at our hands.

I take a moment to try and find the correct way to say it. A good way to say it. Perhaps there isn’t one. I raise my gaze up to Levi’s and he just nods. This time, though, I know he’ll be there no matter what. I turn to her and try a smile as I nervously blurt out the words.

“I’m gay.”

She blinks, looks back at our hands and blinks again. She raises her hand to slap me but a firm grip stops her. Levi pushes her to the end of the bed and then pulls her near his face.

“Don’t you dare, ever, touch him again. Am I clear?” Levi says.

Somehow, I knew Mikasa would react this way. I knew that this Mikasa, wasn’t my 10 year old sister who wanted to play hide and seek with me. I knew this one was sad, depressed and had used up all her energy to try and make us survive through another day, each and every day. I knew that she had been consumed inside and outside and couldn’t go back to who she was. She was as much of a fuck up as I was. Thanks dad.

“What did you do to my brother?” She asks, trying to get away from Levi.  
“He didn’t do anything.” I interject. “I’m gay, that is all. There’s nothing to it. It’s no one’s fault. I like boys. Why is this such a big deal? I don’t need you accepting me anymore. I will get by on my own from now on.”  
“B-But…” She starts.  
“But.” Levi cuts her off. “He now has a new home and I will make sure he goes to school and becomes the best person he can be. As for you, I will be paying your rent so you can go to school and get by on your own, under one condition… You leave Eren alone.”  
“I don’t want your money, asshole.”

Levi lets go of her hands.

“The offer still stands if you need help.” Levi says. “But know this… If you dare touch Eren again, I will find you and you do not want to know what I’ll do to you.”  
“Yeah yeah, shut up already.” Mikasa says before walking back up to me. “Seriously, Eren?”

I just nod. Whatever she was thinking of, the answer is yes. Am I gay? Yeah, I am. Am I gonna live with Levi? Until he gets tired of me, yes. Do I like him? Yes, I definitely do. I turn my gaze to Levi, who’s glaring at Mikasa like he wants to throw her out the window.

“Goodbye, Mikasa.” I add, in case she didn’t understand.  
“So you’re not coming back?” She asks.  
“I think he made that clear.” Levi says.

She glares at him and while I watch the silent fight between the two, Mikasa starts to make her way towards the door and pauses before she leaves.

“I love you, Eren.”  
“No you don’t.” I reply.

The door closes behind her and I start panting as if I had been holding my breath too long. Tears fall from the corner of my eyes and I’m tempted to curl up into a ball when suddenly, strong arms wrap around me. Mine hesitantly wrap around him and I feel like a child clutching a blanket.

“Thank you.” I whisper into the freshly shaved undercut.

My senses come alive with this sent, but also by how he doesn’t let go of me right away. He knows he messed up the first time and although this isn’t going to be anything remotely close to a relationship, I know now that he cares and doesn’t want to lose me. Under this shell he has, there’s someone much more complicated, which I intend on getting to know better.

“What was that song from earlier?” I ask, tugging at the earphones that hang loosely around his neck.  
“You heard that?” He asks with a sharp tone.  
“I heard you sing.” I smile as he pulls away and gets the phone out. “You have a pretty voice.”  
"Tch."

It’s my phone. Did he put music in there? He scrolls down the menu and places one earbud in my ear. He presses play again and lets the song play. This time, I listen to the entire thing and take in the lyrics. Is this a hidden message? Or maybe I’m overanalyzing things. It does represent us though… I’m sure he’s been listening to it a lot if he knows the lyrics by heart but maybe he just likes the beat of it. It is a nice song, indeed.

“So…” He murmurs as he lays down beside me on the bed “You’re 18 now…”  
“Yeah…that wasn’t the most glorious birthday I’ve had, to be honest.” I laugh.  
“Yes, I have to agree, it's hard to beat.” He chuckles.

 

***

 

Two hours later, as he helps me climb the steps of his house… of…my home. I slowly open the door when two loud pops echo in the entrance. I jump as I take a step back and Levi catches me before I fall. He’s laughing and once the confettis start to clear from the air, I see Armin and a lady with huge glasses staring back at me. I turn to Levi with a raised eyebrow.

“Happy Birthday.” He smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Didn't I tell you it would get better?... It's not over yet but... eh??
> 
> Comments are always read/replied to and much appreciated ^_^
> 
> PS: For some reason, tumblr doesn't let me track my fic tag right now so tag me on my username if you post something "hikarimitsuko"
> 
> See you next week pepperonis!


	11. Birthday cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N) Yo! Sorry for the delay today... something came up and basically my cosplay photos are being stollen and sold online. (Which is fkn illegal and whatever...so it was hard to write today...) ANYHOW! I hope you will like this chapter, its late here and I only just finished editing so possibility of massive typos and such. Also, since I wasn't all there, i'd appreciate feedback to know if this chapter sucked or not lol... I do hope not. I usually write decent smut but eh, I guess I wanna be sure it was okay? 
> 
> Song that Levi puts on: Active Child - Silhouette
> 
> Enjoy! <3 (Only Eren POV)

I barely have time to sit on the couch that the lady brushes past Levi and takes place beside me.

“Eren! Nice to finally meet you.” She says. “Levi has been talking so much about you, I couldn’t wait to finally see those bright eyes in person.”

“No I don’t.” He scoffs as he makes his way into the kitchen.

I pull a shy smile, which Armin notices. He nudges my elbow with his and I just shake my head as I blush. I have no idea what to do so I just go with what’s polite to reply.

“Nice to meet you too…hum…?”  
“Hanji!” She says, shaking my hand frantically, making me wince in the process.

Her head gets jerked back and I look behind her to see Levi pulling on her ponytail.

“Oi! Be careful shit glasses.”  
“He seems nice.” Armin chuckles.  
“Shut up, Armin.” I laugh.  
“So tell me Eren, how did you meet Levi?” Hanji asks. “He doesn’t want to tell me.”

I glance at him in the kitchen and see that he paused to listen to my answer. I take a moment to gather my thoughts.

“He ordered pizza and I delivered it. I just… it just sort of happened. Some kind of chemistry between us that made us both lean in for a kiss…and it started like that.” I say loud enough for him to hear.  
“AWWW that’s so cute!” Hanji squeals. “So you two kissed? Levi… you didn’t tell me that you already went that far, you just told me you had an interest in him and that he was fun to hang out with.”

I smirk as I glance back at him. Oops. It’s probably the first time, ever, that I see Levi flustered and it pleases me to no end. I am tempted to laugh but Armin tugs on my sleeve.

“Can we talk? Alone…”  
“Sure.” I frown. “Something wrong?”  
“Don’t worry.” Armin says. “We just need to talk.”

I look at Levi and he simply nods.

“Go shower first.” He says. “You stink.”

I pull my tongue at him and get up, followed by Armin. I walk upstairs to the room that I assume is now mine, grab a few things and head into the shower. I stay there much longer than needed and feel so much better afterwards. Once I’m dressed, I make my way back into the bedroom, sit in the middle of the bed and tap a spot in front of me. Armin, who had been playing with Levi’s playlist, climbs up beside me and just twiddles his thumb for a moment, avoiding my gaze.

“Ok, stop that and tell me what’s wrong. Is it you and Annie?”  
“NO!” He says. “Of course not, we’re fine. It’s… It’s about work.”  
“What about it?” I ask.  
“Well…Pixis decided to fire one of you two and of course, in the state that Erwin was, attacked by some psycho thief…” Armin says with a raised eyebrow and I just reply with a shrug.  
“Don’t shrug at me. What happened? What happened that would make him keep his job instead of you?”  
“So I got fired?” I laugh. “I sort of assumed it would happen anyways.”  
“Do not try to avoid this, you need to talk to someone.”  
“I talk to Levi.” I reply.  
“You need to talk to someone who doesn’t seem pissed off 24 hours a day.”  
“Hey!”  
“You know I’m right.” Armin raises his voice. “Now speak.”  
“Fine… Erwin tried to rape me after he learned about Levi and I. Levi saved my ass and kicked Erwin’s in the process. Satisfied now?”  
“Why didn’t you call the police?” Armin says.  
“Because I was underage and…”  
“I see…” Armin adds. “So…you really are…”  
“Gay.”  
“Yes, gay. I’m not judging but I’m…how do I put this? Surprised about your choice?”  
“Why?” I ask. “He’s nothing but good to me and he makes me see the light for once, which no one has ever been able to do. I feel so free here.”  
“Simply because he’s old… I kinda figured you’d want someone your age.” Armin says with a shrug.  
“He’s not even that old.” I sigh. “He’s perfect Armin and he’s had it rough in his past, just like me. We get along, we understand each other. We both have hidden monsters inside of us and it just seems like we can both tame each other’s.”  
“You defend him a lot.” Armin says, angling his head at me.  
“He saved me. Too many times already.”

Armin tries to keep a giggle from coming out of his mouth but it just comes out even louder and I’d very fucking like to know why this is funny.

“You’re blushing.” He laughs. “You like him.”  
“What?” I blurt out. “Of course not…we…we’re just friends. Well roommates now.”  
“Quick to defend yourself too. I see how it is.” Armin snorts. “And just so you know, roommates don’t usually kiss. Maybe, you’re actually in love.”

And he probably said it as a joke, but the way my heart seems to blossom as the word comes out of his mouth makes me question the veracity of it. Shit. I shake my head and look at my feet, trying desperately to find another subject to throw at him, when suddenly my ear gets tugged by two fingers.

“I’ve never seen them so red.” Armin says, all traces of laughter gone.  
“I’m not lying, we’re just friends.” I add.

He shakes his head and sighs.

“Eren, it’s me…Armin. You can tell me everything; you know I won’t judge you.”

I avoid his gaze, knowing full well that my entire face has gone crimson red now.

“You have to tell him.” He says.

A chuckle rises from my throat and eventually turns into loud laughter.

“Are you insane?” I laugh. “I can’t tell him that, he’s against relationships and all sorts of things like that. He cannot know I like him. He can never know.”  
“You mean you love him.” Armin corrects with a wink.  
“No, shut up.” I say, flicking my finger at his nose. “I like him, that’s all.”  
“Whatever it is, you can’t lie to him, Eren.”

My eyes close as a distant memory comes back to me. “Rule #2: You won’t ever lie to me”. Fuck, but it’s not a lie. I don’t love him, I just like him more than I thought I would.

“What happened to Jean?” I ask, hoping this’ll be enough to carry Armin to another subject.  
“He got suspended for a week.” Armin replies.  
“So he’s back already?” I ask, more pissed than anything else.

Armin nods.

“I already told Annie, I’d be hanging out with you more. She’s fine with it.”  
“Don’t.” I reply. “Don’t act like I can’t defend myself. I don’t need protection.”  
“You don’t need protection.” He sighs. “But you need company. You’ve been alone far too long and it makes me a pretty bad friend for not questioning your recent behavior and mood change. I genuinely thought everything was fine, with how you and Levi seem to interact and all. I would’ve never guessed about Mikasa, Jean and your classes. I’m sorry for not being there lately.”

I grab his shoulders and shake him gently as our gazes meet.

“Do not apologize. It is not your fault. It’s my fault; for enduring too long, for lying to myself about who I was, for never standing up for myself once and for all, for never studying and for never actually seeking your friendship more. It’s my fault that I didn’t reach for a hand before I met Levi and I feel bad for throwing this at him, but he is there in a way you couldn’t be. So please, Armin, don’t apologize. You’re here now and it’s all that matters.”

He smiles and presses a hand on mine.

“I still think you have to tell Levi.”  
“Tell me what?” A voice says from the door.

I jump, internally panicking as I look around, desperately trying to find something to say.

“That I’m allergic to cake!” I shout awkwardly.

Armin presses a hand to his mouth, trying to cover the obvious giggles that come out of it. I punch his shoulder and he just gets off the bed to head downstairs. I get up and I’m about to follow when Levi steps in and closes the door.

“Who the fuck is allergic to cake?” He sighs. “Tell me what?”  
“That hum….”  
“Do not lie to me.” He says, pulling on my chin to lower my gaze to his.  
“That I’m scared you’ll get tired of me.” I sigh. “I can be quite annoying.”

That’s good right? Indirectly, it’s the truth, isn’t it? I can’t tell him the truth, partially because of this, so it makes it okay? Right?

“You’re always annoying.” He says, grabbing my neck and pulling me down for a kiss.

He tries to pull away but I start walking, forcing him to take a step backward until his back hits the door. He cocks his head up at me as I pause into the kiss.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” He scoffs.  
“Proving you how gay I am.” I say as my thumb traces the contour of his face.

His eyes widen for a split second and I just use this as a hint to keep going but he pushes me away gently.

“Oi! First of all, we have guests so calm your raging hormones a bit. And second of all, we won’t be doing anything for a while, you’re still healing.”

I push him back against the door.

“It’s my birthday, I do what I want.”  
“Your birthday was two weeks ago, it’s over now and I repeat: No, Eren.”  
“Yes, Eren.” I add.  
“I said no.” He sighs. “Don’t make me say it again.”  
“I’m healed. I’m fine.”  
“Eren, less than 24 hours ago, you were in a coma. Can you please be r-reasonable?”

I smile at his stuttering while my leg slowly presses in between his.

“I am fine.” I say.  
“Still a n-no.”  
“But you want to.” I argue. “Tell me you don’t want to and I’ll stop.”  
“Of fucking course I want to.” He scoffs. “I’ve been wanting to touch you every single instant since we’ve met. Of course I want to. But one of us has to be the adult who says no for now. I do not want you to get hurt just because you couldn’t wait.  
“I said I’m fine.” I growl.  
“I will decide when you are fine.”  
“You’re so unfair.” I snap, pulling away.  
“And you are such a child.” He laughs. “Come eat the fucking cake before I throw you downstairs.”

***

“Levi was always the shy type.” Hanji says, shoving another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

Armin and I burst out laughing, unable to contain ourselves. Levi glares at us from across the table.

“Shut up, four eyes.” He says.  
“No, no! By all means, tell us more about him.” I laugh, earning a kick from under the table.

I glare at him.

“How dare you hurt an injured person, where are your manners?” I say, faking to be offended.  
“You’re an exception I’m willing to make.” He snorts as he looks at me intently.

For a second there, I’m confused. It was just him being him, certainly. Him being the asshole he usually is. Even though I try to convince myself that that’s all it is, I can’t help but think, as I look straight into his eyes, that this might have held a double meaning. His lips quirk up a little and I blink, slowly coming back to reality and realizing that Armin is talking about me and that this is why Levi is laughing.

“Yes, I swear.” Armin laughs. “He ate it all.”  
“Eren.” Hanji says. “How did it taste?”  
“What?” I say, my eyes widening. “What exactly are we talking about? I sort of spaced out.”  
“Oh… You thought I was asking... Oh... ” Hanji says with a knowing look towards Levi. “Just a kiss, eh?”  
“Shut the fuck up four eyes!” He says, crossing his arms before turning to me. “Armin was telling us how you ate gum straight from the remains of an ashtray that you found on the street when you were 5.”  
“Armin!” I shout, glaring at him. “Oh my fucking god, tell me you didn’t just say that.”  
“Why not?” Levi asks with a smirk I want to rub off his face.  
“Because you do not need to know any more reasons why I fail at life, alright?”  
“Tch. It’s just funny, calm down.” Levi says as he rolls his eyes.  
“Not as funny as you were when singing happy birthday to me earlier.” I say, earning a much stronger kick from under the table.

I bring my head down, pretending to be hurt but also trying to avoid their gaze. I’m so not used to attention that even having 3 pair of eyes on me feels like too much. I’m grateful that they are here, but I also feel a bit trapped right now. A hand on my shoulder interrupts my train of thoughts.

“You okay?” Levi asks, crouching beside me.  
“Yes, just spacing out a lot, I’m sorry.” I reply.  
“Oh, dear.” Hanji smiles. “I was about to leave, so you’ll be able to rest and watch some TV.”

She gets up and gestures for Armin to get up too. She gives me a quick peck on the cheek and Armin bumps his fist with mine.

“No!” I say. “You don’t have to leave. Not yet!”

Both Hanji and Armin smile before making their way to the door. Levi glances at me as he follows them.

“I left your homework on the couch. And since I’m a good friend, I even did all the ones you missed. You only have to submit them. But you better study, Eren. I will make sure you regret it if you don’t graduate with me.” Armin says.

I nod and feel some tears gathering at the corner of my eyes. My smile is wide but also shows just how much I appreciate him. Them...

“You also have presents on the couch.” Hanji winks before closing the door behind them.

I press my palms on my eyes as Levi comes back and takes place in front of me.

“God, they didn’t have to do this.” I sigh. “You didn’t have to do this.”

I quickly reach forward and hug him, not even opening my eyes.

“Thank you.” I mumble against his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around me and taps my back.

“My pleasure.” Levi says. “I figured you’d be happy to see Armin and I didn’t want to be the only jackass who officially meets someone important so I invited Hanji over too. I’m glad you met her, she’s like a sister to me.”  
“Same for Armin and I.” I smile. “Hanji seems really nice, I like her.”  
“She likes you too.” He laughs. “She likes you a bit too much, in fact.”  
“Jealous?” I ask, pulling away.  
“Tch. I meant that she likes you with me a bit too much.”  
“Is that a bad thing?” I say, suddenly worried.  
“Maybe. Then again, I like bad things.”

I stare at him blankly, wondering if I should say something. Wondering if I should ask what he means. Wondering if… my head is making up things. And my heart aches… it already aches for something that hasn’t happened yet. I trust him, though... and so I push the feeling aside.

After I’m done opening the presents; a gift card from the nearest mall from Armin and a coffee cup labeled ‘Bright eyes’ from Hanji, I let myself fall back on the couch and am surprised when Levi’s head finds its way to my chest. I tentatively press my hand on his hair and he if he dislikes it, he chooses not move.

About 10 minutes later, I can feel myself dozing off so I decide going to bed would be a good idea.

“Levi?” I say.  
“What?”

I’m relieved to get such a quick answer, I thought he was asleep.

“You’re awake?” I ask, stupidly.  
“Generally, if someone replies, they are awake… and don’t try to argue with me about this sleepwalking shit.”  
“I’m sorry if I woke you up.” I say.  
“I wasn’t sleeping, I was listening.”  
“Eh, listening?” I reply with a nervous laugh. “I’m lost.”  
“Your heartbeat.”  
“What about it?”  
“Just appreciating the fact that you’re alive.”

My heart starts beating faster and he must hear it but right now, with all he’s said today, with everything that’s been going on, I’m too nervous to ask what I want to ask. I just can’t do that. I let it beat to a fast pace, desperately seeking a mental image of something that would calm me down.

“Sappy.” I smirk, earning yet another gentle kick as my fingers tangle into his hair.

The silence drags on and I’m not as tired as I was a moment ago.

“So, where’s my gift?” I ask.  
“Greedy little shit.” He laughs, sitting back up.

I follow and sit up straight a bit further behind him.

“I was kidding, you bought me a fucking Iphone, moron.”  
“Well.” He says. “It’s true that I didn’t buy any presents yet, because I was at the hospital with you. What do you want?”

Right away and without hesitation, I grab his hips.

“We can’t.” Levi says.  
“If you do it like they do in the movies, we can.”  
“That’s a pretty fucking wide range of style, you know?” He snorts. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to attempt hardcore porn or foot fetishes. Plus those aren’t really my thing. I mean...whatever floats your boat but...like... I didn’t think you were so... ”  
“I mean like they do in romantic movies, you ass.”

He seems to think for a moment and then glances back at me.

“I don’t know how to do that.” He says.  
“Do what?” I ask.  
“Fluff.” He sighs. “That’s what you’re asking, right?”

I grin as I let my hand travel up and down his back, hoping he won’t shove it away.

“If by that you mean slow, sensual, worth dying over, sex, then yes, that’s what I mean.”  
He shakes his head slowly and I sort of expect another rejection but I’m determined to get what I want.

“I can try.” He whispers.

My eyes widen and I lean closer to him.

“What did you say?” I ask.  
“That I can try.” He snaps. “Don’t be cocky right now.”  
“I’m not… I just….”

And just like that, his lips press on mine, silencing me. When he pulls away, his finger presses on my lips. I obey and don’t say a word all the way up to my bedroom. When he closes the door and gestures for me to go to the bed, I obey again. As I sit and wait, I watch Levi browsing his playlist. I don’t need music. I don’t need anything but his breathing at the crease of my neck, because that’s the only symphony I learned to adore. Though, he likes it… he likes music… and if he does, I like it too.

He eventually settles for a song that I know vaguely. The beat is much slower than what he usually listens to and I’m kind of surprised. He walks to the end of the bed and gestures for me to come meet him there. I crawl back there and then up to my feet in front of him. His hands immediately make their way to my chest and slowly travel down under my shirt as his gaze never leaves mine. I want to say something. I want to tell him I like him, but he told me to shut up and I can’t say it. If I say it, I’ll lose him so I bite my bottom lip instead.

I focus on his hands that pull my shirt over my head. After that, he closes my fingers around the hem of his shirt. I grin and slowly pull it off as I take a step forward and press my skin against his. I’m about to pick him up when he kicks my leg furiously.

“If I’m going to be gentle so you don’t hurt yourself, you sure as hell aren’t going to try and lift me up, fucking brat.”  
“As you wish.” I say, letting my hands travel down his back and into his pants.

I grip his ass and he shakes his head with a grin.

“Are you going to actually let me try or do you plan on taking control every second I take to breathe?” He grins.

I pull my hands out of his pants quickly and let them fall on each side of me.

“S-Sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry, bright eyes, just let me do the work today.”

I nod and he brings his mouth closer to mine, avoiding it at the last minute to focus on my collar bones instead. He presses a hand at the small of my back while the other one starts working on my belt and then eventually on the button and zipper of my jeans. My pants hang loosely around my waist and it only takes a little tug for them to fall to the floor. He’s about to pull my boxers down but I put my hands between us, quickly undoing the button and zipper of his pants right before he slaps my hand away.

“If you want me to try this, stop fucking interfering.” He laughs before slowly starting to kiss his way down on me.

I gasp, unable to keep myself from shaking and shivering and realizing just now that I’m not as experienced with all this as my subconscious mind has led me to believe. Dreams do not bring skills to life and I have to focus on everything but the gray orbs looking at me.  
As he kneels, his fingers find their way to my hips and into the elastic band of my boxers. He pulls them down in one quick movement, letting my length spring free in front of him. I can’t help but blush and Levi enjoys this. He smirks at me before he slowly presses his lips at the tip, teasing me with a knowing look.

“Levi.” I say, hiding my face in my hands when suddenly I feel him take me in.

Oh god. Oh my fucking god. Right away, he starts following the melody of the song with his voice, bringing back this familiar vibration that sent me over the edge before. I almost fall on the bed from the shock and my total incapacity to control myself as his skillful tongue brings my cock deeper inside with every thrust. His hands gently push me on the bed and I sit. He crawls between my legs and glances up at me. I can’t help but moan as I hit the back of his throat and hear a moan of satisfaction each time he thrusts me in and out of it.

“L-Levi. Stop. Stop I…”

He lets go of me and stands up, taking a step forward as one of his knees finds its place beside me on the bed, followed by the other one on the other side. I wrap my arms around his waist and force him down on me, pressing his entire body to mine.

“You’re crushing my bones.” He mutters.  
“You deserve it for teasing me like that.”  
“It’s your birthday; I’m trying to make it worthwhile.”  
“I don’t see how it could not be, either way.”  
“Flattering.”

I press my lips under his jaw and follow the straight line up to his chin where I finally meet his lips. He pulls away from me and stands up, pushing his pants down before climbing back exactly to where he was. His arms wrap around my back and during a moment his hands just lay there, caressing my skin. Not my ass, not my hair, not my dick… just me. If I wasn’t so busy thinking of my cock so near his hole, I would probably even think that he is pulling me closer.

I kiss his collar bones as my hips slowly move under him, bringing just enough friction to drive me insane and just enough friction to piss off Levi. He glares at me and joins our lips and tongues into a kiss that promises to last longer than the previous ones. He slides his arms under mine, pushing me further back onto the bed as he slowly crawls on top of me, forcing me to lie on my back as his chest follows mine. He rests there for a while, holding his weight on his elbows as his tongue explores my mouth and his hips slowly start to roll above mine. I can feel my dick twitch just as much as his does with every movement. He’s craving it as much as I am.

“If I hurt you.” He whispers against my lips. “You will tell me. Promise me.”  
“I promise.” I smile, pushing his hair out of his eyes as he extends his arm toward the nightstand.

He kisses his way down again as one of his hands opens the bottle of lube and the other one caresses my balls. He turns the bottle upside down and squirts some of it on his fingers before his mouth finds my length again. This god damn deep throating again. I can’t take much of that, it’s too powerful. I just hope he won’t hum.  
He doesn’t. Instead, his fingers find their way inside of me one after the other and I can feel myself adjusting to it better this time. I guess it really is about practice after all.  
When he has 3 fingers in and has been avoiding my prostate on purpose for the past couple of minutes, I just slam my fist onto the bed.

“This is terrible torture, Levi.” I whine. “Please take me already.”  
“How?” He smirks before leaning down to put me into his mouth again. “Like that?”  
“O-oh... Not that I dislike that, b-but right now I want you pounding inside of me. Alright?”  
“Greedy.”  
“Give me.” I say as his other hand starts stroking me.

A second later, I feel his fingers leaving me to be replaced right away by his cock, already dripping precum.

“Fuck!” I shout, gripping the sheets.

Levi stops.

“Did it hurt?” He asks, moving slower.  
“No. Don’t worry. You’re just…bigger than I remembered.”  
“Is that so?” He asks, slamming back into me.  
“Nngh.”  
“Unfortunately for you, we’re doing this slow tonight, so no rough sex.” Levi says as he lowers himself on top me as much as he can with a hooded gaze. “Raise yourself up.”

I obey and he doesn’t waste any time to start pushing his tongue inside my mouth.  
It’s slow, it’s good, I love it… but he stops. I give him a quizzical look. He gestures for me to turn and lay on my stomach. I comply, a bit worried about not seeing what’s going on, but again, I trust him. He gets back in and moves slowly as he adds more lube. The angle it has right now is really hard to manage because it’s painful and fun at the same time. Though, when he lowers himself on top of me completely, I can now feel his muscles move on my skin and his dick now has the perfect angle to hit that sweet spot. The fact that he goes so slow makes it even worse, as if the buildup was taking forever. My cock is so hard that it’s quite painful in fact but somehow, it’s still a good pain.  
He kisses the back of my neck and then moves his lips between my shoulder blades. He licks his way up and down my spine as I arch myself under him. And it goes on so long I can’t even make up how long we’ve been at this.  
That is until he eventually pulls out to sit against the headboard as he throws the cushions across the room.

“Come here.” He says, gesturing to his lap.  
“Aren’t I supposed not to move?” I ask.  
“I want to be able to hold you closer... Just so I can go deeper.” He says with a feint blush. “But same rules apply. If it hurts you stop.”

I nod, excited that I finally get to try and make him happy but knowing really well that the previous position was way better in terms of ‘getting deep’.

I slowly lower myself on him, hitting my prostate on the first drop. I moan and arch my back as Levi’s teeth, from a possible smile, grinds against my skin. I move up and down, trying to control my legs and tell them that; no, they are not tired. Levi’s arms are wrapped around me and he pulls me closer making it harder to move every time. Until finally, I notice that he’s a bit stiffer. That’s when his arms lock around me, forcing me to stay in place as his hips start quickly rocking up and down, making me groan intelligible words at him as I slowly reach the edge. He gives one last deep thrust that he knows will make me come. I hold my breath. A shiver runs through me, sending an electric jolt down in my belly and then everywhere else.

“LEVI!” I scream and then earn a smile from the man.  
I’m panting as he slams two or three more times into me before he joins my bliss with a series of moans.  
His hips gradually slows down the movements as I collapse into his arms, his chin resting on my shoulder and mine on his. I immediately wrap my arms around him to keep him from moving.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He says. “You’re home.”

And it’s with a single tear that I finally manage to tell myself that I might have not failed everything in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): So? *crawls under a blanket with super big bags under her eyes* 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, a big thanks because now my fic ranges from 300-500 hits for every chapter I post, which is pretty much about 200% more than one I originally expected to get lol... So thank you for reading and sharing it, it's much appreciated.
> 
> Comments are always read/replied to and much appreciated too ^_^


	12. Popcorn After sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): HEeeello! New chapter, yay?? OK so couple of new things. Extra Pepperoni Eren and Levi now have their brand new real tumblr blogs which I will focus on more this week. Eren being younger will reblog gifs and whatever goes through his mind concerning Levi… And Levi made a blog to follow Eren but Eren doesn’t know yet ;)… see the series of post exchanges that’ll be posted through this week. Links to their blog can be found in the (A/N) at the end of the chapter. Note that they will answer to their current specific situation but will not reveal anything from the future (until the end of the fic) if you ask anything about it. They will reblog your fanart if you tag me (hikarimitsuko . tumblr . com) on it. Also, from now on, please consider Tuesday as my posting day. Recently it’s been hard to post on Monday so if I am able to I will post on Mondays but you will definitely have a chapter by Tuesdays. Final note, I made a CMV with my friend last week that is basically an ereri date night (which has nothing to do with this chapter but could still interest you. It should be up by the end of the week. Just search my name on youtube and you’ll find my channel) ^_^.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Songs:  
> Imagine Dragons – Demons  
> X-Ambassador – Renegades
> 
>  
> 
> PS: Sorry if there are any typos (wrote this on 3 hours of sleep)

I wake up tangled into Levi’s tight hold. Considering the fact that he’s snoring in my ear, I assume he’s still asleep. I slowly and carefully turn around to face him while his grip tries to keep me in place. I chuckle lightly as I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him close. I stare at him in a way I wouldn’t let myself normally. It’s creepy, to be honest but I rarely get the chance to see him like that, without the permanent frown on his face. His lips are closed, pressed into a thin line and I’m tempted to press my mouth on them. I’m tempted to wake him up with a kiss but I refrain from doing it. He already told me this wasn’t a relationship, he just didn’t specify what it was, although I guess it’s more than friends with benefits now. Why would he be helping me if it was just that? Then again, that’s usually what friends are for.   
I feel so awkward right now because I have never felt such things before and I’m scared of what it means. I’m also scared for him to find out I like him. And yes, I should tell him. I will tell him because I cannot lie to him. I promised. I just don’t know how to put it so that it doesn’t affect what we have. So that he doesn’t feel trapped in a relationship he doesn’t want. Maybe he’s not even interested at all… maybe it’s still just about sex for him. But…he was determined to stay at the hospital with me until I would wake up. Perhaps he felt guilty about it?  
I unconsciously rub my nose against his and my heart skips a beat. Fuck.  
I wait a moment and he doesn’t move. Good. I sigh and look at his eyelashes intertwined with strands of messy hair that comes down on his forehead. I look at his lips again and decide to give in. I gently press my lips onto them and he doesn’t even move. Man, all this fluff did really make him tired, didn’t it?

“Oi.” He smirks as I pull away. “How much longer should I pretend to be asleep for you to give me more of this?”

My eyes dart back from his lips to his hooded gaze. I blush crimson red and hide my face in his neck as a chuckle escapes my mouth.

“You’re such an ass, how long have you been awake?” I ask.  
“Long enough to know you’ve been staring at me for a while.”  
“Sorry, that’s creepy, isn’t it?”  
“Maybe… but then that makes the two of us creeps.”  
“Ugh? Why?” I ask.  
“Because the first night I spent with you in this bed, I didn’t sleep at all.”  
“You were looking at me?” I laugh.

He nods as I meet his gaze again.

“I was scared I wouldn’t have a chance to see you up close again and I wanted to remember it all.”  
“It?”  
“Your body. The way your untamable messy hair falls on your forehead. The way your chest moves up and down as your breathing follows something that’s happening in your dreams. The way your mouth opens and closes at random times as if you were talking to someone in your head. The way your hands look old and used as if you had lived 20 lives before this one. The way your muscles move as you turn towards me and tangle a leg with mine. The way you search for my touch without even thinking about it, even if I said I didn’t want that from you.”

I take a deep, shaky breath.

“Why were you scared of not seeing me again?” I ask.  
“Isn’t it obvious? Because you weren’t gay.”  
“B-But…” I shake my head. “You said I was. Y-You said you were sure.”  
“I would’ve said anything to get you in this bed, Eren. But I really hoped you would turn out to be… even maybe just for me.” He says with a smirk. “I wasn’t disappointed, to say the least.”

I look at him wide-eyed and offer him a sheepish smile.

“I-I… don’t know what to say.”  
“I just meant that I’m fine with you being a creep.” He laughs.  
“Let’s go on a date.” I blurt out and then right away press a hand to my mouth.  
“W-Wha…” Levi starts but I cut him off.  
“I didn’t mean that… I mean, I wanna go out with you…” I pause and hit my forehead. “NO!!! I JUST MEAN I WANT US TO HAVE A NIGHT OUT, like friends would.”

He lets go of me and rolls on his back. He pinches the bridge of his nose and right away I feel stupid for even thinking about asking. I’m about to tell him that I’m sorry, that I shouldn’t have said that… when he lets out a loud giggle.

“You’re an idiot, Jaeger. Where do you want to go?” He grins, looking back at me.

I stare at him blankly, not sure I heard correctly.

“D-Did you just agree to…?”  
“Yes.” He says, tugging on my hair. “We can have a date/not date night. I could use a night out to be honest.”  
“Oh my god.” I say, out of words.  
“Levi is fine.”

I punch him playfully and crawl on top of him before pressing my lips on his.

“What day are we again?” I ask.  
“Sunday.” He replies.  
“Awww damn.” I mutter.  
“What did you have in mind?”  
“I’d make it a surprise, to be honest.”  
“Well you got me curious now… Shall I leave the house for the day?”  
“But it’s Sunday, you work tomorrow and I have school.” I pout.  
“I work late tomorrow. I have a meeting around noon and then I’ll be at work until 6pm.” He sighs. “Also, you don’t have school until next week. I sent a message to the principal explaining the situation and they agreed for another week off as long as you do your homework.”  
“You’re too good for me.” I say.  
“Yes…why do I put up with a brat like you?”  
“Cause you like my ass!” I smirk, letting my hand travel down his stomach.

His hands instantly grip my ass and his hooded glare reappears.

“You’re right. I’m very fond of this.” He says, squeezing it.

***

The day goes by slowly and Levi spends most of it on his laptop, discussing with some guy from IT who seems to want to address some troubles they are having with the render of some scenes of their new game. His frown is pretty noticeable, which makes me think he’s really aggravated right now. Hopefully I can change his mood soon enough. Especially considering the fact that he didn’t even let me touch him since this morning when I first tried to take off his pajama pants. ‘You need to rest’ … Fucking stubborn midget, you won’t be able to say no once you’ve seen all the things I have planned out. Speaking of which, I should probably go shower.

***

I’ve been waiting by the door for the past 30 minutes and we’re already late. I’m about to call his name again when I see him emerge from upstairs.

“Finall-“ I choke.

I rarely get to see him so casually dressed and god he looks stunning. He’s wearing black boots and jeans that I have never seen him wear before. Above it all, he’s wearing a white button up, which he’s slowly closing as he comes down the stairs. He leaves it open down to his collarbones and I can’t help but stare at the details of his skin, wanting nothing more than to rip all those clothes off and carry him back upstairs. What kind of a monster pervert have I become?   
Once he arrives in front of me, he leans closer and I expect a kiss but he just smirks and grabs a plaid scarf with a black vest.  
He brushes past me and heads for the garage but I stop him.

“We’re walking there.” I smile.  
“Are you kidding me?” He scoffs.  
“Sorry but you, sir, will have to use your legs to move that pretty butt of yours where I need it to be.” I say, daringly.

He stares at me and then his lips quirk up as he starts walking out of the driveway.

“We could’ve went to bed and make good use of both our asses, you know.” He says.  
“Hey, I thought you were looking forward to going out? Although that’s quite tempting, I have to admit.”  
“Sorry Brat.” He sighs. “I just… The guy from IT said that they are having trouble rendering the game because the storyline is too developed and the intrigue is giving them a hard time as far as render is concerned. Some pieces are too long but they cannot be cut because it would leave a plot hole. It just toys with my head a lot. This needs to work.”  
“How about you change the storyline?” I ask, letting our arms brush against each other.  
“I can’t.” He says, looking down at the sidewalk. “It’s perfect as it is. This new video game producer that we’re trying out, he has awesome ideas but they are elaborate. He’ll manage, I’m sure. I’m only stressed because it’s our one and only chance to save my company.”  
“Well he’s still an ass for making it so complicated.” I laugh. “It’s unfair that you have to deal with it all.”  
“You know Jaeger, you’re right. It’s unfair even though it’s my job. I’ll make sure to talk to him about it when I get a moment, I’m sure he’ll understand.”  
“And you seem really understanding about this? How did your mood shift so suddenly?” I ask.

He smiles and then looks up at me.

“Just trying not to screw up the night. Am I good at this? Cause I generally suck at trying to please people.” He laughs.  
“You please me though.”

His eyes dart to me and they contain a warning that I can see clearly.

“This isn’t a date, don’t forget.” He says, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
“I know, I just meant that you’re kind to me… as a friend.”  
“Mhm.” He sighs. “I try.”

***

“La Légion” Levi asks. “We’re eating here? Are you insane? This places costs 50$ per person, how are you even going to pay for this?”  
“I had some money left from my last couple of days at work. Armin slid the check in one of my history books.”  
“Still. I’m not letting you pay for this.”  
“It’s already paid for, so shut up.” I say, opening the door.

The lady beside it recognizes me and moves from her little stand to greet us.

“Mr. Ackerman. Mr Jaeger. Follow me please.”

Levi glares at me as we follow her to the darkest corner of the restaurant and to a tiny table that has 3 candles on it. She puts the menus down, serves us water and then gestures for us to sit. I almost wait behind Levi to push his chair as he sits but his glare tells me I shouldn’t.  
He picks up the menu but I slap my hand on it as he jumps, startled by the move.

“What the fuck?” He says, earning a look from the guy sitting across the row of tables.  
“I already picked what we’re eating.”  
“What if I’m allergic?” He snorts.  
“To what?” I laugh. “Cake? Cause if this didn’t work for me, it won’t be working for you, Captain.”

He raises his gaze to meet mine and ends up shaking his head before looking away. I’m about to grab his hand when our dish finally arrives. 

“Bon appétit!” The waiter says.

Levi laughs and my gaze meets his. I’m confused.

“Ratatouille?” He laughs. “So when you think of something French, you think of this? Let me guess, it’s because you’re just 18 and Ratatouille was probably one of the movies you liked as a kid? Right?”

He shakes his head and laughs again and somehow, this pisses me off.

“I still like that movie and I didn’t pick this dish for that reason but mainly because I had never tasted it before and was always intrigued by it. You got me regretting I didn’t bring you to some shitty Italian restaurant and even considered bringing you to a place you might be familiar with…”

And I could go on… but his hand over mine is what stops me. Greens meet grays and he just smiles.

“I’m sorry.” He says. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It’s a cute gesture, in fact. I told you I’m not good with these sort of things.”  
“And by sort of things, you mean?” I ask with a smirk.  
“You know what I mean.” He says, letting go of my hand to grab his fork.  
“So it’s a date.” I laugh.

The sudden glare he shoots me as he stops moving his fork around his plate, could probably kill someone. I raise my hands submissively.

“Sorry, sorry.” I say shyly.

***

“Can we take a cab?” He asks as we start walking away from the restaurant.  
“No.”  
“Shitty brat!” He sighs. “Can I at least know where we’re going?”  
“Take a guess.” I laugh.  
“Unmistakably, I would say to the movies.”  
“Well you sure can read me like an open book, but I doubt you’ve had many actual date nights. Neither have I.”  
“It’s not a date.” He sighs exasperatedly.  
“Right.” I say, tentatively lacing my fingers with his.

And he lets me. He does look at me with a knowing look, but he lets me.

As we make our way to the corner of the street, I suddenly have a feeling of Déjà vu. Levi tugs on my hand but I stay there.

“It’s green, we can go.” Levi says, pulling me forward again.

I squeeze his hand and he stops, turns around and pushes me back on the sidewalk.

“This street… This is…?” He stutters with wide eyes.

I nod and less than a second later, his arms are wrapped around me. I blink a couple of times and then let a smile creep up on my face. I rub his back and he lets go of me.

“I’m fine.” I say with a smile.

He nods and laces his fingers with mine again before slowly pulling me forward into the intersection. I ignore the images that pop inside my head. The past belongs in the past. When we’re on the other side, we both smile at each other and Levi seems to relax a bit. He seems to actually start enjoying this.

***

The movie sucked but it’s good because we also sucked… our faces off. My lips are numb from the extra long make out session. As per what Levi said, apparently, he had to make this trip to the movies worthwhile and by that, he didn’t mean the ice cream cone and popcorn I got for us. His hand travelled between my legs a couple of times and I have to admit that I let mine wander a bit too. This was by far the best movie I’ve never seen.

As we head out, his hand finds mine and I’m too happy to even comment on it. I glance at him and notice that he seems tired and is probably only following me around wherever I will bring him next. But the night was already far beyond my expectations so I don’t see any need in continuing. We should probably head home.

“How about we head back? You seem tired.” I say with a smile.

He shakes his head and squeezes my hand.

“Surely you had a few more things you wanted to do and since I can’t do that too often, let’s make the most of this night. Where are we going next?”  
“But you’ll be tired at work.” I protest.  
“So what? It’s not like the bags under my eyes can get any worse.”  
“Levi…”  
“Eren…” He sighs.

I glance at my phone. It’s 9h50pm, perhaps we would have time to go to the open mic night at the bar. Not that I want to sing but I heard Armin talk about it before and it seemed fun. He told me Annie sneaked him in with her somehow.  
I shrug and pull him forward.

***

I sit back at the table with two beers. Levi grimaces after taking a first sip and then looks at me, waiting for my reaction. I don’t want to look nor act like a child so I take a big gulp and sadly, as much as I want to, I can’t hold it in. It tastes like death so I spit it out. Half of it in the beer bottle and the other half on the table.

“Tch. Filthy.” Levi comments as he throws me a paper towel that was under a glass.

He gets up and walks to the bar. I stare at him and then I glance at the stage where a guy slowly gathers his things as he’s about to start singing. I was actually hoping we could dance or something but watching people sing is as good as it will get I’m pretty sure.

Levi comes back a moment later with two drinks. A glass of whiskey for him and a flamboyant gay drink for me.

“What the fuck is this?” I ask. “It looks like a radar for gays.”  
“But honey, you’re gay.” Levi laughs.  
“Very fucking funny…Levi. You’ll pay for this.” I say before taking a sip.

And it actually tastes extremely good but I will never admit it to him.

“What’s it called.” I ask before throwing him the empty straw.  
“After sex.” He smirks. “It’s a variation of a sex on the beach.”  
“You studied mixology or something?” I scoff.

He shakes his head.

“I just had a bar phase when I was younger… not a straight bar if you know what I mean.”  
“And you stopped going because…?” I ask.  
“One: I have matured. Two: Look at me, dude.” He laughs. “Third: I wanted guys. Not guys that act like girls and the bar I liked was filled with these thirsty bottoms.”

I take a sip before replying with a smirk.

“One: Not so much. Two: Humble as fuck, I see. But I understand their thirst.” I say with a wink. “Third: I feel targeted right now, maybe I should make you a bottom, Corporal.”  
“Tch.” He sighs.

I grab his hand and press my fingers on it.

“Let me make your forget. Let me be the one who calls you that.”

He nods.

“But every time you say it, all I see is him… His hands on you…and… just…”

He shakes his head but I grab his chin and force him to look at me.

“This is the past. How about I call you captain in another language then?” I ask.

He shrugs as I pull out my phone and start playing on google translator.

“Maybe.” He says.  
“How about Yiddish? Kapitan!”  
“Still too close.”  
“Portuguese? Capitao? Agh, I can’t pronounce these.”  
“Ewe.” He laughs.  
“OH! Japanese? Heichou.”

He shrugs.

“I might like that last one.”  
“You do?” I say, my eyes darting to him.  
“I still prefer Levi.” He adds.  
“But Heichou’s not out of the question?” I ask.

He shakes his head and takes another sip of his whiskey as the music starts to play and the singer starts to sing. 

**…So they dug your grave**   
**And the masquerade**   
**Will come calling out**   
**At the mess you made**

I take another sip of my drink as I tap my foot on the floor. The guy sings really well, in fact, he sings the song just as good as Dan Reynolds does and it pleases me because I’ve always liked Imagine Dragons.  
I glance at Levi and he is staring straight at me, barely even blinking. I look back at the stage and then back at Levi. He is still staring straight into my eyes, his hands wrapped around his drink on the table. I shrug, mainly wondering why he’s staring but he doesn’t stop. He just stares. And god if it doesn’t creep me out, I don’t know what will. I turn my attention back to the stage for a moment and wait.

**Don't wanna let you down**   
**But I am hell bound**   
**Though this is all for you**   
**Don't wanna hide the truth**

**No matter what we breed**   
**We still are made of greed**   
**This is my kingdom come**   
**This is my kingdom come**

I glance at the room, people are clapping and there are even two girls with lit up lighters while some others use their cell phones. I’m tempted to do the same but I doubt Levi is fond of this kind of gesture. Then again, I wouldn’t know.

**When you feel my heat**   
**Look into my eyes**   
**It’s where my demons hide**   
**It’s where my demons hide**   
**Don’t get too close**   
**It’s dark inside**   
**It’s where my demons hide**   
**It’s where my demons hide**

When I turn my head back to him, he’s still looking my way.

“What?” I mouth.

He doesn’t answer. He just shakes his head and keeps staring. What the fuck is this? What’s going on? He slowly turns his hand, opens it and reaches for mine. Of course, I give it to him without hesitation and wrap my fingers around his. He squeezes it as the next lyrics come and looks so intently at me that I’m pretty sure he’s trying to tell me something but what?

**They say it's what you make**   
**I say it's up to fate**   
**It's woven in my soul**   
**I need to let you go**

**Your eyes, they shine so bright**   
**I wanna save that light**   
**I can't escape this now**   
**Unless you show me how**

Another squeeze on my hand tells me that this is important. And somehow, I think he means to say that he’s giving me one last chance to escape this, that, again, he doesn’t want to hurt me, that I should be running away from him. Emotionally that is.   
I angle my head at him and smile, squeezing his fingers in return. He lowers his head and then looks back up at me as if I was an idiot, as if I was about to give him the wrong answer. Maybe he’s right, I won’t tell him what he wants to hear. Although I doubt he actually wants me to run away from him. I’m sure it’s not for his own sake he does it. He is right, I might be an idiot but I wouldn’t want to be anyone else’s idiot. I shake my head and pull his hand closer to my chest, forcing him to lean over the table as my lips connect to his.

**When you feel my heat**   
**Look into my eyes**   
**It’s where my demons hide**   
**It’s where my demons hide**   
**Don’t get too close**   
**It’s dark inside**   
**It’s where my demons hide**   
**It’s where my demons hide**

“You’re right.” I say after a round of applause for the singer. “You can’t escape this now.”

He shakes his head.

“You’re stupid.” He says.  
“Maybe.” I smile.

Levi focuses on the guy on stage and removes his hand from mine.

“Since there’s no one in line to take the mic, I might as well sing another song.” The guy says as people start to cheer. “But I will need some back vocals to sing this. Any volunteers?”

I grin at Levi and his eyes widen as he realizes what I’m about to do.

“No! You fucking…” He says as I raise my hand and point my other one at Levi.  
“We have two volunteers. Come on up.” The singer says.

I offer my hand to Levi as the entire crowd stares at us. Some with a look of disgust, others simply intrigued. He grabs my hand and follows behind me, making sure to squeeze my fingers so hard that I might as well break those too. We get up on the stage and the singer offers us two microphones.

“What’s your names, guys?” He asks.  
“I’m Eren.” I say a bit too loud in the microphone and chuckle nervously.  
“Levi.” He says with a look of pure boredom plastered on his face.  
“Well I’m Nanaba. Are you guys familiar with X-Ambassadors?”

We both nod and I squeeze my hands together. YES! Please, I love this song. I hope it’s the one I think.

“Ok, so here we go with Renegades of X-Ambassadors.”

His fingers start to move around on the guitar and Levi takes place beside me. He is glaring so hard at me that I could probably melt from it. There’s already some foot stomping on the ground and it rattles in the room.

**Run away-ay with me**   
**Lost souls in revelry**   
**Running wild and running free**   
**Two kids, you and me**

Another glare. He surely thinks this is stupid, but still goes on and sings the next part with the singer and I.

**And I said hey**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Living like we're renegades**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Living like we're renegades**   
**Renegades, renegades**

It’s actually a lot more freeing than you’d expect and I can see Levi’s features soften as he sings. That’s a good song and it sort of represents us both in a way. I’m underage. He’s much older. I’m a fuck up. He likes the fuck up that I am. We’re both creeps. And for the most part of society, we don’t deserve to be happy together. Well fuck them, I wouldn’t trade this for anything else and if it makes me an outsider, then so be it… it’s not like it’s going to be much of a change anyway.

**Long live the pioneers**   
**Rebels and mutineers**   
**Go forth and have no fear**   
**Come close and lend an ear**

Some lighters and cellphones start to appear in the crowd as the rest of the people seem to clap loudly. I can hear their voices join ours too and it makes the room seem much more alive than it was a few minutes ago. A shiver runs through me as the powerful voice of dozens of people reaches my ears.

**And I said hey**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Living like we're renegades**

Levi turns to me and starts ignoring the crowd that is now standing up as he sings solely to me.

**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Living like we're renegades**   
**Renegades, renegades**

He glances at the singer, who is looking at the both of us and waiting for some sort of command. He’s the lead? What’s he waiting for?

**So, all hail the underdogs**   
**All hail the new kids**   
**All hail the outlaws**   
**Spielbergs and Kubricks**

Underdogs eh? Maybe that’s what we are, indeed. Maybe that’s why we found each other. Maybe we’re each other’s hope in fact.

**It's our time to make a move**   
**It's our time to make amends**   
**It's our time to break the rules**   
**Let's begin...**

Let’s begin…? Alright. I quickly lean forward, forcing him into a passionate kiss in front of everyone. The crowd doesn’t stop singing as Levi’s eyes widen. He tries to pull away, but I press my hand on his back until he eventually gives up and wraps his arms around my neck. The level of cheers of the crowd has just exploded to a very unhealthy level of decibels but I’m happy. I feel free and accepted and… I don’t feel like a failure here, in his arms, in front of everyone. I feel like I matter and like I have a reason to actually exist. If or when the time comes when Levi won’t want me anymore, I will always be grateful for this feeling that I have right now. I’ll use this as an anchor when I need something to hold on to.

**And I said hey**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Living like we're renegades**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Hey, hey, hey**   
**Living like we're renegades**   
**Renegades, renegades**

I pull away from him and notice that the singer, along with the rest of the crowd are not cheering at the song but they are applauding us, Levi and I. I blush as I start rubbing the back of my neck nervously. Levi looks up at me and then tugs on my t-shirt to force me to lean down for a quick peck.

“One last round of applause for this amazing couple that accepted to lend me their voices as back vocals.”

The crowd listens and applauses as we get off the stage and make our way back to our table.

“You will pay for this.” Levi says through gritted teeth.  
“Looking forward to it, Heichou.” I say with a cocky smile.

***

It took exactly 3 minutes for Levi to have me stark naked in bed when we got home. I was surprised that he so easily forgot that I had to ‘rest’. And although I was pretty sure this was going to be a rough night, I was surprised that he chose the fluff option instead. Probably to make sure I wouldn’t get hurt. I’d be really surprised if he said it was actually because he liked that. Either way, I’m not one to question it as long as I get what I want.

I finish wiping my stomach with the warm bath towel that Levi brought me in bed before folding it and placing it on the floor beside me. Levi shakes his head as he comes back. He picks it up and throws it across the corridor and into the bathroom.

“Shitty Brat.” He mutters as he crawls back beside me.

I don’t answer. Instead I just lay there with a smile plastered on my face until I actually nestle my head on his chest. His arm wraps around me as the other one pulls the cover over us. I let my hand rub on his stomach and he stiffens a bit. I repeat the movement and the same thing happens. I glance up at him. His eyes are closed but his lips have a faint smile on them. I pull my hand away from him before I sharply poke two fingers at his ribs and start moving them frantically. He explodes in laughter right away and almost punches me in the face as he tries to push me out of reach.

“You god damn idiot!” He curses. “I don’t like being tickled. Stop it!”

I nod, unable to erase the grin from my face, as he takes his place back beside me and my body finds its previous position again.

“Is it because you don’t like to show people that you can smile?” I ask.

He shrugs as a yawn escapes his mouth.

“I like your smile.” I add.

He squeezes my shoulder and I can feel him slowly dozing off. My mind is wide awake though. I know it’s now or never. After such a night. I have to tell him right now. I have to.

“I-I like you, Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Comments are always read/replied to/extremely motivating and much appreciated ^_^ 
> 
> Hope you liked it! 
> 
> Here are the links if you want to stalk the fuck up or Mr Pepperoni ;)  
> [Eren the fuck up](http://erenthefuckup.tumblr.com/)  
> [Levi Pepperoni](http://levipepperoni.tumblr.com/)


	13. Cherry turnover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N)Hi! I feel so bad about the delay for posting this chapter. I was actually at the Doctor's... and then I got told I have depression and just gah.. Plus I had written most of the chapter but left it at work and since I don't work I had to rewrite most of it but didn't want to force it out of me and make it shit because I'm in love with this chapter... And so here it is. I hope it is still up to your standards because to be honest I wasn't all there this past week. You can expect a chapter next monday for sure now though :) ... So, sorry again for the delay, enjoy it ^_^
> 
> PS: Do you guys follow the fuck up and mr pepperoni on tumblr? (see previous chapter for the link to their blogs)
> 
> Mood songs:  
> Vita Chambers - Fix you  
> Florence and the machine - Kiss with a fist

**LEVI POV**

I keep my eyes closed and rush out the breath that I’ve been holding for the past 30 seconds. I must have dreamed. Surely, he didn’t say that. He knows about the rules. He knows I’ll never respond to such comments. He knows that I cannot commit to that. But let’s not panic. He didn’t say he loves me. He just said he likes me, as friend could say to another friend. Then again, my mind is flashing warning signs at me. This isn’t just about friendship anymore. And maybe, if I wasn’t so stubborn about the whole situation, I could admit that I have a small attachment to the kid. That maybe I would’ve suffered if he had died. This is already more than I should have ever allowed myself to admit and nothing more will come out of this. It can’t. I break everything I touch. Hell I can’t even fix my own self so how am I supposed to take care of him. Especially take care of him romantically. I could never do that but most of all I would never allow it. He promised. He knows that.

Great. I can’t fucking sleep now. Fantastic. I slowly remove my arm from around him and turn to my side. I glance behind me and he hasn’t moved, only his head fell from my chest to the mattress. Perhaps he’s already asleep or perhaps he’s terrified of what he just said. I’d understand the latter because I am terrified too. Why did he have to do that? Fuck! I sit up straight and press a hand to my forehead. I need a drink. No. I need tea. I stand up and make my way out of the room, not glancing behind me.

I gather my favorite tea cup and herbs. Then, I fill my tea kettle and put it on the stove. I walk backwards to the chair about a meter away and sigh as I see the empty plate sitting there.

“God damn filthy Brat.”

I can’t find it in me to get up and just put it in the dishwasher. Not tonight. Tonight, I am an even bigger mess than I ever was because it’s hard refusing something that you might actually want. But do I? Do I want this? Of course not. He’s so young and he’s just a good fuck. The fact that I relate to him in so many ways only mean that we both had shitty pasts. We’re allowed to stick together if it means we won’t be alone to deal with this cruel world, but not like this. Not together like this. Maybe… just maybe… the only way for him to understand that I am no good for him or anyone, that I am beyond the point of being a worthless human being, is to show him just how broken I am. If he sees it with his own eyes, how much it eats me inside, how much it would mean if I had to lose someone again… just maybe he will understand and let things be what they are: nothing.  
The thought hurts me. Pushing him away hurts me. It’s been hurting for a while now although I won’t admit to anything my heart says that I feel. I need to put an end to it before he gets hurt. Before I say or do something that will destroy him. Before I fall for him.

“Tch. Who am I kidding?” I scoff. “Good job Levi, it’s a bit late for that.”

***

**EREN POV**

I keep my eyes closed, no need to open them to know that he left the room. I grip at the bed sheet and all I want to do right now is punch myself to death. Or maybe dig myself a hole and never come out of it. Why have I thought even for a single second that this would work? That somehow, he’d be happy with this, even if he didn’t like me back. Another person who only tolerates my presence. I guess I should be used to it by now but no… Eren Jaeger never learns. He fights for what he wants, for what he believes is right, and ends up on his knees again waiting for the next kick that life will give him. To be honest, I don’t even want to try anymore. Why do I always ruin everything, why do I…

“Oi!” Levi says from the door, startling me.

I don’t move, hoping he’ll think I’m asleep but the way my shoulders are shaking is pretty much a giveaway.

“I know you’re awake. Are you coming downstairs or should I drag your ass down to the kitchen myself?”  
“If you want me to leave…” I sigh. “You’ll have to force me to go.”  
“What? Leave?” He asks. “Who said anything about leaving? Get your idiotic face down to the kitchen right now. Don’t make me come back up.”

I sit up straight as I hear his footsteps walk away. So he doesn’t seem particularly happy with me, but he doesn’t want me to leave, at least. That’s a good thing, right?

As I enter the kitchen, I find Levi sitting at the same chair he usually sits, sipping on what is most probably tea. I pause and stand there.

“What are you waiting for?” He asks. “Sit.”

I cross my arms and look away, trying to keep the tears that threaten to fall.

“Can you just get to the point?” I ask. “I already see that you’re pissed about what I said. I’m not stupid and I don’t want to drag this on. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

He slams his palms on the table, making me jump and also spilling some tea in the process. His chair hits the garbage can as he rushes forward to me. He grabs my wrist and unfolds my arms. Then, he pulls on my shirt, lowering my gaze. I’m tempted to smile, half expecting a kiss but he stops an inch away and glares at me.

“Stop assuming that you know how I feel and what I think. You don’t know shit about me.” He says.  
“And who’s fault is that?” I snap. “You won’t let me in.”

He squeezes my shirt and tightens his grip. I blink rapidly, scared of the punch that might come but it doesn’t. He roughly let’s go of me.

“There is a reason why I choose to be alone, Eren. It’s not only for me, but for the people who try and stay in my life.” He sighs. “You cannot understand that I’m doing this for you, that I don’t want to be the person to put you in a cage again…?”  
“How could you ever put me in a cage? You freed me from the one I was trapped in and now you’re saying I’m in another one? If this is the cage you’re talking about…” I say, gesturing to our surroundings. “I don’t fucking mind.”  
“I didn’t mean literally.” He sighs. “Perhaps I need to prove it to you but don’t judge or do anything stupid about this.”  
“I’m not sure I get what you’re saying, but okay...” I sigh.

He grabs my wrist, making sure to keep it far from anything romantic and tugs me forward towards the stairs. I follow him down to the videogame room, wondering what he wants to show me here… until I realize where we’re heading. He wants to show me his bedroom. Is that what the cage means? Was he lying when he talked to me about not being into BDSM? Is he actually much more into it than I originally believed? I’m nervous but excited to see. Anything that’s in there won’t scare me away, I’ll at least be willing to try anything he wants to try on me. If that’s what it takes not to lose him, I’ll do anything.

Avoiding my gaze, he opens the door and I walk in, ready to see whatever weird fetish he has. But I’m wrong. I am so wrong. I understand now why he didn’t want me to get in here. It’s nice, indeed. The entire room is shades of grays and blacks with turquoise accents… the problem is…the walls. The walls are covered with newspaper articles, posters with quotes on them and most of all…post-its, post-its everywhere. I walk up to one of them that says: “Monster.” … My heart clenches as I walk to the opposite wall and read another post-it. “You don’t deserve happiness.”… I glance beside it. “It’s all your fault.” … My eyes fill with tears as I see the newspaper article beside this last one. “Drunk driver: Teen dies after getting hit.”  
I turn to Levi as my hand reaches for my chest, trying to push my heart back inside its hole. His eyes are red but he doesn’t cry. He just stands there, arms crossed and silently judging every move I make and every reaction I have.

I let the tears fall on my cheeks as I head back to the previous wall. What I want to do here is simple; I want to rampage through that room and destroy it. But I figure he wouldn’t be happy with that, so I decide to take it slow. I reach for the “Monster” post-it and pull it off. Levi takes a step forward but I still look straight at him as I rip the paper in half and let it fall to the floor.

“Oi…” He says, glaring at me.

I quickly brush past him to the opposite wall and grab the newspaper article along with the “It’s all your fault” post-it. Without hesitation, I rip both of them in half. I would’ve kept going if Levi didn’t suddenly jump on me, hitting me from every side.

“You fucking little shit!” He shouts. “I trusted you.”  
“W-With reason!” I scream from under his constant attack.

I have to admit he’s hitting me but not hard enough to leave any injuries, he’s just trying to show me how pissed he is.

“What?” He says, pulling away as his arms fall on each side of him. “You said you wouldn’t do anything stupid!”  
“Indeed, I’m doing what’s right instead!” I growl.

He dashes forward and I barely have enough time to rush through the bedroom door and climb upstairs that his hands already claw at my feet.

“You said you wouldn’t judge.” He shouts, emerging from the staircase, finding me standing behind the couch.

He runs to me and I just quickly step back into the kitchen, hiding behind the fridge door.

“I’m not judging you. I understand you, Levi.”  
“Then why did you do this?” He asks, grabbing a plate I left on the table earlier and throwing it at me.

I dodge it just in time and it hits the wall instead, shattering in millions of pieces.

“Enough!” I scream and he stops, probably remembering that my childhood was similar to what’s going on here and that it makes me uncomfortable.  
Indeed, it does, but that’s not the point. I’m not who I used to be. I am strong now, thanks to him. And I won’t let this burden lay on his shoulder any longer. He hid it from everyone, including me, but now that it’s out and I know how broken he is, I will save him. It’s my turn. It’s my place to be. I belong next to him in this fight against his demons from the past.

“I didn’t mean to throw that.” He says apologetically.  
“I know.” I say, closing the door and walking back to him.  
“Don’t get anywhere near me.” He says and it hurts me deeply.  
“Why?” I ask. “Because I’m trying to show you that you’ve been carrying this far too long? That it never was your fault?”  
“You know nothing, you shitty 18 year old imbecile!” He screams at the top of his lungs.

I use the distraction to reach forward and pick him up. I throw him over my shoulder and start walking back downstairs.

“Je te déteste, Eren. Je te hais!” He screams in french, trying to make me let go.  
“You don’t.” I say, taking a guess on what he said.

He stops screaming but keeps kicking, making it hard for me to open the bedroom door but I manage. I take a couple of steps in and throw him on the bed. I pin his wrists beside his head and lean on top of him.

“STOP!” I say. “Stop fighting me. Stop pushing me away!”  
“I hate you!” He cries, shaking his head and pulling hard on his wrists.

I let go and he stays there, laying on his back, surprised that I obeyed.  
I get up from the bed and grab the post it that says “You don’t deserve happiness”. I walk back to him and put the post it beside my face.

“This is fucking bullshit. Your happiness is standing right there in front of you, trying to make you see that you are allowed to want this. That you are allowed to let go of the past. My happiness is laying there on this fucking bed, arguing that it’s the worst thing that could ever happen to me when in fact it’s the best thing that I could have ever hoped for.”

I rip the paper in half and let it fall, raising my hands at him as his glare darkens.

“I.Like.You.” I repeat. “With all your flaws, with your past and with your future if you let me. SO stop pushing me away and trying to make a decision for me. If you don’t want me, that’s fine. But don’t you dare try and take the choice away from me because I fucking like you Levi.”  
“I hate you.” He sighs, looking back at the ceiling.

I crawl back on top of him and he starts to try and kick his way out again. I pin him down and stare into his eyes. His gaze avoids mine as he screams it over and over again.

“I hate you, Eren. I hate you so fucking much for coming into my life. I hate you for staying. I hate you for wanting to be with me.”  
“You don’t.” I repeat, louder every time until he eventually stops talking.

I can see his chin move imperceptibly and I know what’s coming. I let go of his wrists.

“You don’t hate me.” I say.

He shakes his head before tears start flowing heavily on his cheeks. He quickly raises his hands and wraps his arms around me. He nestles his head into my shoulder and shakes it.

“I don’t.” He confirms between sobs.  
“You like me too.” I add.

He nods.

“And I hate you.” He sighs with an unsteady breathing. “I hate you for being right about this, about me, about how I feel.”

I brush my cheek against his head and press hard against it. I roll on my side and hug him closer, tighter. He does the same.

“I hate you for caring and for not wanting to abandon me like everyone else did.” He says, wiping his cheek on my t-shirt.  
“I hate you for breaking me open so fucking easily.” He adds.  
He holds me tight for a few more second and as I roll back on top of him, I raise my head to plant a soft kiss on his lips. But, before I have time to do so, I feel a jolt of pain in my jaw. He just hit me. He definitely hit me. 

“What the fuck?”  
“I still hate you.” He says before kicking me between the legs.

A whaling sound comes out of my mouth as I roll on my side, grabbing at my balls and breathing heavily. I hear Levi storm out of the room and keep rolling until my feet touch the ground. I awkwardly stand up, still grabbing at my crotch as I try and make my way upstairs.

Once I finally reach the entrance of the kitchen, I’m forced to let go of my balls as Levi stands on a chair, ready to welcome me with a pile of plates from the cabinet over the counter. He throws them everywhere but they miss every single time. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to prove a point, not actually wanting to hurt me. It’s when I dodge one and manage to run to his chair that he stops. He glares down at me.

“You missed the whole point.” He says before kicking me on the side of the face.

I dizzily grab the counter as I hear Levi run back into the living room. I try to stand up but it takes a moment before I can actually manage to hold myself correctly. After all, I was in a coma a few hours ago, wasn’t I? ... I walk up to the couch and it’s the only thing separating us. Levi crosses his arms and as I take a step to meet him there, he lunges and grabs a lamp that he obviously wants to throw at me but doesn’t. Instead, his face changes entirely and he runs back to the kitchen. I feel something drip from my face. I tentatively touch my forehead and see the blood on my finger. Ouch. Levi comes back with a wet towel and gently wipes my forehead.

“I’m sorry.” He says.  
“I know.”

He keeps rubbing the spots where the blood stained my skin and then moves gently around the scar.

“Stitches again?” I ask with a smirk.

He simply shakes his head and I want to smash it against the wall because he could at least try to let me in and not look like someone was just killed.

“Look Levi...” I say as he brings his head down ready to walk away.

I grab his wrist and pull him near me.

“I like you. Stop pushing me away.”  
“It’s for you, I’m doing it. Do you honestly think I want to do that you fucking moron? I break things, I break people, I make them suffer. You’ve already suffered so many times since you’ve been in my life and it’s not good. It’s not normal. I don’t want to be the one to put you in a cage.” He sighs.  
“A cage again?” I scoff gesturing around. “Like I said, if this is the fucking cage, I will be more than willing to stay, Levi!”  
“You’re stupid.” Levi sighs. “I mean that I cannot fully ever trust you or be sure that nothing will happen to you or simply just... I will be permanently overprotective and I will smother you. You’ll suffocate. I can’t keep myself from doing that, Brat. I cannot lose someone else and especially not lose someone that means so fucking much to me.”  
“So you’d rather not have me than take a chance on the future?” I laugh. “Fucking bullshit.”

I take a step towards him and he immediately kicks my leg to try and make me fall on my ass. I’m starting to understand how he works though so I hold on to the couch and grab his ass instead, lifting him up and forcing his legs around my waist.

“The fuck do you think you’re...”

I don’t let him finish. I press my lips onto his and as he struggles to pull away, I pull harder on his neck. I walk up to the wall near the entrance and roughly press him against it. I glance at him and he glares at me. I pull my face away from the kiss and Levi seems to want to say something but he doesn’t.

“What?” I ask.

Is eyes, calculating, are searching mine and I can see something spark in them.

“The power those eyes have on me, it’s unfair and I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be letting you ruin yourself but I can’t fight it. Let me go. Tell me you hate me and let me the fuck go, Eren.”  
“Not a chance.” I smile.  
“Fuck it!” He says, sharply pulling on my neck as his hips somehow start to roll in my hands.

I get hard right away and I know what to do. I press my hand on the small of Levi’s back as we head back downstairs. I clumsily kick the door of the bedroom open and it fucking breaks. I shut Levi’s mouth with another kiss before I put him down on the bed and climb on top of him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asks with a glare that could probably cut through anything.  
“Making you mine.” I blurt out somewhat confidently.

Levi’s lips quirk up for the first time since I told him I liked him. His traits soften and I can feel his body relax under me.

“Really?” He whispers. “Then you better make it fucking worth it.”

I would gape at him if I didn’t focus all my body into being as confident as possible about this. I can do this. I can definitely do this. All I have to do is do the same to him that he did to me. He smirks before raising himself up a bit and wiggles out of his shirt.

“Make me like you.” He says.  
“Wow.” I laugh. “So it’s only about sex.”  
“Don’t look so offended, idiot. I already told you...”  
“You told me what?” I ask playfully as I roll my hips over his and basically slowly dry hump him.  
“nngh.” He winces. “That..... I like you, shitstain! Now quit teasing me before I make you regret it.”  
“I’d like to see that.” I smirk.

As a response, he pulls roughly at the collar of my shirt and stops me about an inch away from his face.

“Fine, you bottom.” He says as he’s about to try and crawl on top of me but I grab his wrists and pin them beside his head with a new found force.

I growl as I slam my hips against his. He winces but then a shy smirk appears on his face. It was a test, and I succeeded. Enough of the small talk. Although it’s probably the biggest and most important conversation we’ve ever had... But for now, we both have our thoughts elsewhere. I raise myself up and straddle him, removing my shirt as painfully slow as I can. His nails suddenly dig at my hips and lower me even further down onto him. The friction is unbearable, but I try to keep in mind that tonight, I’m the one in control.   
I climb off of him, earning a growl as I force his hands away, and kneel between his legs. My fingers skillfully remove the little clothes he has left as well as mine. All the while, he stares at me with this stupid smirk spread across his face. He wants me to be nervous, he is toying with me. He is making me pay for making him admit that he likes me. And if that’s what my punishment is, then I have absolutely no objection to it.  
I lean down, quickly enough that he barely has time to figure what’s going on as I lick my way up his length. 

“F-Fuck.” He breathes.

I smile right before I take him all in. I can’t help but notice how much I’m enjoying this. And to think I never wanted to do that before. I guess it’s him. It was always him. I suck as hard as my lungs let me and earn whines and groans as I move my tongue around, occasionally playing only with the tip of his cock. He grabs fists of my hair as he bucks in a few times, unable to control his hips as the buildup rises in him. Too bad though, I don’t plan on making him come this way. Tonight, he’s mine. Tonight, he’s a bottom. Tonight, he’ll be MY Corporal and I will warp his mind out of this previous unhealthy relationship he’s had. I will send him into oblivion and he will be entirely mine even if it’s just for a night.

“Lube?” I ask before getting back to work, knowing that Levi probably only has to stretch an arm to the nightstand, which he does.

The bottle hits my head and I raise my gaze to him. He’s still smirking and I glare at him. Perhaps he likes rough sex. I don’t have any problem with that. Especially since the night has been pretty rough in itself... maybe I should’ve thrown a few things at him as well. Here is my chance at vengeance, but oh what a sweet vengeance it will be.

I pop the cap open and put lube on my fingers. My head keeps bobbing up and down as I slowly press my index against his entrance. He doesn’t wince, doesn’t move, doesn’t even look like he feels it. Really? He’s that used to it...ugh? Well then... I slide a second finger in and gently press my teeth on his dick as I move. This time a low growl comes from his mouth. Ah, much better!  
After my two fingers have been at it for a while, I slide in the third one. Levi just looks at me as his muscles tighten. I stretch my fingers apart slowly and scissor his entrance. It doesn’t take much longer for him to be ready... I can see it in his face even though this inerasable smirk is all there is on it. I pull my mouth away from him and stroke him a few times before I spread his legs further apart, giving me better access to the precious piece of ass in front of me. Yeah, he’s a perfect men, a wonderful human being, but tonight... he made it hard for me, so i’ll make it hard for him. Right now, he’s my prey and my mission is to catch him and erase that fucking cocky smile off his face. I’ll replace it with my name.  
I nod at him as I press myself against his entrance. He nods back and I slide in slowly. He winces at first, although the smirk doesn’t disappear. He tells me he’s okay and I take that as a yes to start thrusting. It’s quite awkward at first, even though I won’t let that show on my face or even in my movements, but it is pretty uncomfortable. Levi, also doesn’t seem like he’s having any more fun than a few moments before and I crave for more than that. I pick up his legs and wrap them around my waist, raising him up a bit. A new playful glare appears in his eyes. Perhaps, he expected me to only fuck him in one position for my first time. Well, he was wrong. I thrust harder and then deeper, and that’s when Levi’s back arches a bit. I slow down, noticing the angle I’m at and it’s quite similar to the angle I like when he does it. I give one rough thrust deeper and Levi’s smirk disappears instantly, replaced by a wince. I pause, scared that I’ve hurt him.

“W-why...don’t stop fucking moron!” He shouts with an angry glare.

I smile, relieved and know that I was right about the angle. I thrust again, deeper, longer, harder and I can feel him squirm under me and just that brings me so much closer to the edge. Seeing him, so free, so innocent, so fragile under me, brings me so much pleasure. I never get a chance to see Levi being weak, so this is a nice change, especially now that I am the one in control of his emotions.

“You like that Captain?” I ask.

He returns a glare to me, half playful, half pissed. I use this moment to grab his cock and start stroking him. Levi’s eyes roll back with pleasure.

“Answer me.” I command with a warning in my tone.

His eyes dart back to mine and suddenly the smirk reappears.

“Oh you want to play this game.” I grin. “I see, Corporal, then I’ll make sure you scream by the end of this and it better be my name or I’ll make it extra extra slow.”  
“Try me.” He smirks.

I take it as a challenge. Instantly, my mind kicks in higher gear and I move around as if I had always sucked dicks and fucked guys. Even Levi, seems pretty fucking surprised at my sudden new skills. His smirk fades a few times as I hit his prostate, but it isn’t enough. I can feel him slowly getting closer to the edge, and I will not let this happen until I hear him beg me.  
It’s so unlike me to behave this way, but this man turns me into something else. I am more myself than I ever was. I feel like I’ve been hiding a part of me my entire life and now that someone accepts the monster and the man, I feel free to just be. I thrust. And thrust. And thrust. And he doesn’t scream. Fine!  
I grab Levi’s hips and roughly pull away as I flip him on his stomach. He barely has time to say a word that I fall on top of him. I kiss his neck and feel him shivering under me. My cock twitches between his butt cheeks as I’m ready to get in again. But first...

“You will scream my name Captain.” I whisper in his ear before biting his earlobe playfully.

He slightly turns his head and my nose brushes against his cheek.

“Since when do soldiers give orders to their superiors?” He asks. “I will never surrender to you.”  
“But...you already have...” I smirk before raising myself back up.  
“You little...“

He shuts up as my cock fills him again. I tug on his hips and he raises himself on all fours. I can see his back arch as my nails dig into his back and hips. I lean down and lick my way up his spine before giving a few more deep thrusts. I hear a gasp, a much louder one. I bring my hand under him and start stroking slowly, painfully slowly as I time my hips with the strokes. I make sure to hit his prostate a few times in a row and I can see his muscles so tight that it must take everything he has not to scream. His hole tightens around me and he arches his back even more as if it was possible. I let go of his cock and bring my hand to his head. I gently pull on his hair and I can hear him breathe heavily. He turns his head to the side and glares at me. He knows I’m going to win this.  
I grin as I bring both my hands back to his hips. I’m almost done myself, so he has to come. I start thrusting faster and deeper and his hands grip at the bed sheets as his arms shake, barely holding himself up. He squirms and I can’t help but let my vision become clouded as the buildup reaches its peak for me. That’s when suddenly I hear a faint voice.

“Eren.” He whispers.

I move faster, making sure to hold on as much as I can to my release but it doesn’t take long. I give three rough thrusts right into his prostate and he screams my name so loud that the neighbors probably heard it through the fucking concrete wall. He screams it again, and over again.

“EREN! EREN! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREN!”

I simply call out his name a few times as I pant and let my orgasm come. I slow down my thrusts, gradually and then pull out. Levi finally lets himself fall limply on the bed. I get up and start making my way out of the bedroom.

“Oi! The fuck are you doing?” Levi asks.  
“Getting wet towels?” I ask.  
“No, you come back here.” He says, his face half buried in the pillows.

My eyes widen and I can’t help but chuckle as I make my way back beside him.

“Excuse me? Did my cleanfreak of a boyfriend just said it was fine to stay dirty?”

He raises his head and stares at me blankly. It takes me a while to realize what I just said. I become livid in a second. We gaze at each other as the silence drags on until finally Levi burries his face back into the pillows with a sigh.

“Whatever... fucking stubborn little shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Comments are always read/replied to and much appreciated ^_^ They motivate me lol and I love to see which parts you liked and what you hated that happened and just... gah XD


	14. Medium rare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Short and sweet chapter... that is because the next one should be kind of long. I suggest you follow them on tumblr too (see previous chapters for links to their blogs) because there will be some side stuff there (not needed but still kinda cool to know). As for this chapter... I'm sorry in advance. And yeah it will be a roller coaster up until the end from now on. This is how the plot goes but I promise you will love what's to come. This one is entirely in Levi POV.
> 
> Mood song:  
> Oasis - Wonderwall

**LEVI POV**

I’m suffocating. I’m stuck. I... am not dreaming. My eyes flutter open as I realize that a turquoise pillow squeezes half of my face. Instantly, I push it out of the way and take the biggest breath I ever took. Oh my fucking god, the kid tried to kill me. I roll on my side and lift myself up a bit. I frown as I realize that Eren is curled up next to me, using this pillow instead of my chest. He doesn’t even wake up when I try shaking him. I laugh and run my fingers through my hair. I get up and shake my head, making my way out of the room.

When I emerge into the kitchen, the memories of last night come to my mind. It’s not like I could forget when I enter something that looks like world war 3 happened. I walk carefully to the oven and realize that my tea kettle looks weird. Shit. SHIT. I let it get empty and it cracked because of the heat. I turn off the stove and curse at myself as I fumble around for the coffee grains that I keep for visitors.

I press the button and start picking up the broken pieces from the floor. As I get near the table, I spot a few blood stains and immediately feel guilt running through my veins. I had hurt him, on purpose, and he didn’t even blink. This is bad. This is really bad. I shouldn’t have let myself tell him how I feel. I shouldn’t have let myself believe that I felt this way. Now...even worst, I’m his boyfriend, aren’t I? Part of me wants to scream how fucking happy that makes me, but the rational part is telling me that it was the most stupid move I ever pulled.

“Hum, coffee.”

I jump, startled by the voice. I raise my head as Eren slowly crouches in front of me, ready to help pick up the pieces. He cocks his head and smiles and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy. Just this, is worth everything; all the pain that I will ever endure, that I have endured in the past, it’s all worth just that simple smile. And I know, that it’s very unlike me, to give myself away so easily, but the kid does things to me that no one ever has, maybe not even Petra back then. I just don’t know how to act anymore or even what to say. The boyfriend question will probably come around again but I just hope he won’t bring that up just yet, not until I know what to answer.

“Are you okay?” He asks.  
“I’m fine. My tea kettle is broken. Thanks.”  
“Are you trying to blame me for this?” He asks with a cheeky smile as he gestures to the mess.  
“Shut up and make yourself useful by pouring me a large cup of coffee.”  
“Yes, captain!” He says as he gets up and walks to the counter.

I hear him behind me, opening and closing the fridge door, trying to find a spoon and sugar... And although I won’t admit it... his presence is reassuring. It’s probably the first time in years that I do not want to go to work. It’s all I’ve ever had and today, it’s not what I want the most and it hurts. It’s physically painful in my chest to feel such things after so many years of forcing myself into loneliness, thinking it was better for everyone and knowing that I would suffer from it. I always told myself that it would be worth it, so long as people didn’t get hurt because of me. Not ever again.

“Can I skip school for another month?” Eren laughs as he hands me a fuming cup of coffee.  
“No.” I reply.  
He sits beside me on the floor and his hand finds my chin. I wanna pull away but I don’t.  
“What’s wrong?” He asks.  
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I don’t know what to say or do and... I feel like I’m the fuck up now.”

I regret my words instantly but I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Thankfully Eren only laughs.

“You are definitely shit with words.” He smiles. “But I do understand. We can take things slow you know...”

I pull away and stand up.

“Where is the brat that wasn’t gay? Where is the guy that didn’t even want to fuck me? Where is he?”  
“You killed him.” He replies.

I frown, ready to say something mean, ready to tell him to fuck off.

“Thank you, for making me free.” He adds and I instantly forget everything I was about to say.  
“I didn’t do anything.” I sigh as I put the remains of the plates into the trash can.  
“You know who you remind me of?” Eren asks.

I walk back to him and offer him my hand but he refuses. He sits there, his legs crossed, holding his cup of coffee with two hands as he looks up at me. I sigh before I give in and sit on the floor in front of him.

“There’s 4 chairs right beside us and we are sitting on the goddamn cold floor.” I smirk. “You’re something, you know that?”

He reaches for me and pulls me near him, trying to make me sit on him but I manage to get out of his hold.

“We’ll spill coffee.”  
“You’re distant.” He says.  
“I can’t help it.” I say, frowning.

We take a sip of our coffees and Eren repeats:

“Do you know who you remind me of?”

I shake my head and look at the ground, prepared to hear some story about a friend of a friend that I do not want to know about.

“Atlas, the titan.” He says. “Because you seem like you are carrying so much on your shoulders. The sky, the galaxies and all its stars... And yet, you choose not to look at them. You’re an inch away from seeing the most beautiful sight you could ever see, but you choose to look down at your feet and ignore what’s being given freely.”  
“Fine, maybe Atlas looks at his feet because it makes him stronger. Maybe he believes nothing comes free and there is always a price to pay. Life has this funny way of showing you repeatedly that you don’t deserve something. Maybe if Atlas raises his head, he will drop the sky. Maybe if he raises his head and looks at what the world is offering him, maybe he will lose his grip and make everyone pay, again, for his little selfish happiness.”  
“You’re too hard on yourself.” Eren sighs.  
“It’s the only thing keeping me in one piece.” I say sternly.

He looks at his coffee too long for my liking. His face suddenly shifts into a frown and I’m bracing myself for the moment he’ll say we should just be roommates. I expect relief and also pain...but it doesn’t come. Instead, he raises his gaze to mine and smiles. A genuine, fucking, smile. I shake my head and smirk.

“You never learn, do you?” I ask.  
“Maybe... But I like to think I’m determined.”  
“To do what?”  
“To break you open.” He smirks. “I’ve only got a foot in the door so far.”  
“And what does that even mean?”  
“You helped me see who I was, so now I’ll make you see who you truly are and what you deserve. You deserve to fly into this sky with me, not being buried under it. You deserve your walls to be filled with all sorts of wonders, not with ghosts from the past. You deserve happiness and I’ll prove it to you just the same way that you proved to me I wasn’t who I thought I was.”

And here I am, again, shitty with words, not being able to reply a single word to those green orbs staring at me. I look away and nod before emptying my cup of coffee in one long gulp.

“I need to get to work.” I say.

***

It's already been a week and I couldn't be more distant with the kid. We fucked only once since then. I just... I am slowly pushing him away and he noticed. He keeps on begging or more attention but I can't give it to him because that would mean losing control completely and I can't do that. For the past few days I have even avoiding kissing him. God I want to, that's not even the point, but I feel guilty for letting myself like him so fucking much... and I know I am kind of sort of is boyfriend in his mind...Hell maybe I am in my mind too but I don't know where I stand right now. This weekend I tried distracting him by going to the mall and buying him a few things before he goes back to school. Hopefully this'll help him feel better about it.

I park near the gate entrance. Eren leans towards me and I let him give me a quick peck before he gets out of the car reluctantly. I look at him, making his way through the gate. I shift into drive but then glance at him again. A tall guy with the weirdest hair is talking to him. I put my car in park again and turn the engine off, deciding to wait for Eren to be inside the school before I leave. Eren seems to argue quite animatedly with the guy and the horse faced boy just laughs at him. I can see from afar, that Eren is trying really hard to hold it together. I don’t want to step in, cause that will get him in trouble but I stare from afar. Students start to gather around them and partially block my vision. I hear loud cheers and laughs. Suddenly, my stomach turns. I pick up my keys and stand outside of the car. I look at the group and catch a glimpse of Eren shaking his head right before the blond pushes him. I start walking instantly. 

“Kirstein, Kirstein, Kirstein!” The students cheer.

Oh so that is Jean. That is the bully. I walk up to the group and look at them. Jean pushes Eren again but Eren refuses to fight. Jean pushes him one last time and Eren falls on his ass. His mood seems to shift and he quickly gets up. He takes a fight stance and people start laughing at him. My heart clenches and I grind my teeth. Eren rushes forward and gives Jean a punch he shouldn’t forget for a while. The horseface seems pissed off as his fingers wipe some blood off his mouth.  
Jean dashes towards Eren and starts hitting him on the ribs, exactly where he had surgery a few weeks ago. I start pushing people out of my way. Some students seem to think that I am a teacher trying to break the fight. Ahah, if they knew. Jean hits Eren and the brown mop of hair disappears. I emerge from the crowd and see Eren, sitting dizzily on the floor. The blond laughs as he walks around, begging for cheers before he raises his leg to kick Eren.  
His kick gets stopped by my two hands as I step between the two. I raise my own feet and round kick the horseface right on the shoulder. I do not want to hurt him, because Eren will get in trouble. The boy stumbles but manages to keep his balance. He lunges towards me and punches my stomach. Those are the moments where I’m glad that I exercise so much. I raise my gaze from his fist to his eyes and angle my head. I smile before I send him one, just one, punch that sends him to the ground. He whines and rolls on his side as blood spits out of mouth and nose.

“You broke my nose, asshole!” Jean cries.

I pick Eren up and put him on his feet. He seems a bit lost and probably didn’t realize all that’s happened just now but I need to make sure he’ll never be bullied again. I grab the collar of his hoodie and pull him roughly against me. My hand glides up to his neck and I pull him into a kiss. It lasts longer than I expected. I assumed he would pull away but he doesn’t. Does he even realize that this proves them right about him being gay? I don’t care, so long as he doesn’t ever get touched again. I am done with him getting hurt over me. It’s my fault if people think he is gay. It’s my fault if he doesn’t talk to Mikasa anymore. It’s my fault if Erwin hurt him. It’s always my fault. And if it has to be that way, I will make sure that everyone knows not to touch what’s mine.

I pull away slowly and the crowd is silent.

“Listen to me, you useless human beings. If one of you touches Eren again, you will get more than your nose broken. Am I being clear?”

 

Some nod, some sigh, some murmur that they have to tell the principal.

“Oh and...if you say something to the Principal, I will make sure to list every single thing that each of you has done against Eren. I’m pretty sure, that a suspension at this time of year would mean that you wouldn’t graduate? Right?”

 

I turn towards Eren again and our gazes meet. He is expressionless and it worries me. I pull him in for another kiss and his arms wrap around me.

“Thanks.” He whispers in my ear. “For not being distant right now.”  
“Shhh. I’m here.”  
“They had photos.” Eren says and I instantly pull away.

I raise a questioning eyebrow.

“Photos from the night where we sang ‘Renegades’ together and kissed.” He adds. “They had photos from someone’s cellphone there.”

I let go of Eren and turn to Jean, who just stood up with the help of some of his spineless friends.

“Give me your phone.” I order.  
“What? Fuck no.” He says.  
“Give me the fucking phone.” I repeat, inches away from him.

He leans backwards as he pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to me. The text only says: “The fuck up in action” and has a photo of us kissing on stage. I look at the number and it seems familiar. I pull out my own phone and scroll through my contacts.

“The son of a bitch!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Did not expect that, did you? Who sent the pic? I'm sure you have a good idea... 
> 
> Comments are always read/replied to/much appreciated ^_^
> 
> Btw I now track 'extrapepperonifanfic' instead of the previous ones because tumblr hated the previous ones for some reason.


	15. Pizza commitment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N) Hey everyone! Hard chapter to write...humpf... I'm glad I'm done with it. It's a bit shorter than expected because there was supposed to have smut at the end but it didn't feel right to put it there. So... Here ya go ;)
> 
> Mood songs:  
> Linkin Park - Numb  
> Halsey - Is there somewhere

**LEVI POV**

The next few days, as I bring Eren to school in the morning, no one even dares to cross his path, which reassures me. He hasn’t been really talkative about how it went after my little episode with Jean. I have been waiting for today, my day off, to confront the bastard who did this to Eren and have been preparing a speech in my mind during the past two nights.

“We should go grab your PS3 at the end of the day.” Eren says. “I’ll just run there and you pick me up after work?”

I frown at him.

“I’m not sure I’m very comfortable with you being alone with her.”  
“Awww, cute.” He laughs as he pats my head and I’m tempted to slap his hand away. “She should be at work, don’t worry I’ll be in and out and wait for you outside. The weather is getting warmer anyways.”  
“Alright, I’ll pick you up after work. Be careful.”

He gives me a quick peck and I wait as he makes his way into the school. I don’t like lying to him, but he wouldn’t have let me talk to Erwin. I have been cuddling Eren since Jean hit him because he keeps waking up to some flashbacks of his past. I can feel that he’s right on the edge of breaking down again and only god knows what this’ll mean for him. I want him to know he has me.

Funny how seeing him vulnerable again made me realize what kind of mistake I was about to do. It was selfish to try and push him away from me. I had thought all along that it was selfish to want him so much, to desire everything he was because I couldn’t ever hope to be good enough for him. I couldn’t ever promise that nothing would happen to him, to us, but I know now that I am willing to take that risk a thousand times if I have to. I mean, we have matching scars on our chests, if that’s not proof enough, I don’t know what is. Or maybe I’m making this up because I’m trying to justify the fact that I changed my mind as soon as Jean’s fist found Eren’s face. Either way, Eren seems happy about my sudden and noticeable change of heart.

“Are you doing that out of pity?” He asked me the other day as I held him close while watching a movie.  
“No.” I replied. “I’m doing this because I want you there.”

His cheeks had moved and although I couldn’t see it, I could pretty much imagine the grin on his face.

It’s no mistake to say that I have changed the boy to a point of no return, but he did the same to me and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t scaring me to death. One thing is for sure, it’s that I will protect him from everything this world will try and put in his way, starting with the bastard who sent the photo to Jean.

***

The bells ring as the door closes behind me. I look around but don’t see anyone there. Granted, it’s still early for pizza, but they do serve coffee and some kind of disgusting morning wrap. I sit at the nearest booth to the door and wait for Erwin to show up at the register. I end up flipping pages of a newspaper out of boredom when suddenly a mop of hair appears from the kitchen. It’s blond, but definitely not tall enough.

“You can mark straws too, we’re almost out.” Armin screams to someone in the back.

I cough and his eyes dart to me.

“OH! Levi! I’m sorry we didn’t hear you come in.” He says guiltily. “Mr. Pixis, we have a customer, shall I take the register?”  
“No Mr Arlert, thank you.” He says as he comes out and notices me. “You can go in the back and finish the inventory of the fridge with Annie.”  
“Aren’t these two supposed to be at school?” I ask as Pixis makes his way to my booth.  
“These two, like you say, are in advance classes and don’t have tests today as opposed to all the others. At least that is what I was told.”  
“Oh.” I say, immediately taking a mental note of kicking Eren’s ass for not telling me about this.  
“So.” The old man says. “I believe you aren’t here for pizza, nor are you here for Eren. Shall I offer you a coffee before we talk?”  
“Sure.” I nod.

He comes back a moment later with two cups. He sits and folds his arms, obviously waiting for me to talk.

“I was actually here to see Erwin.” I admit before taking a sip.

Pixis’s face has a weird expression on it. A mix of ‘I knew it’ and ‘Do you think I’m stupid?’.

“I figured out that much, Mr Ackerman. How about you tell me why? I’d prefer you not breaking his arm again in here.”  
“I don’t see what you’re talking about.” I say, growing angrier by the minute.  
“Do not play dumb with me, Levi. I know what type of person Erwin is, and I know that if you broke his arm, it must have been with a more than valid reason.”  
“What did he tell you?” I ask.  
“Nothing, I couldn’t figure out on my own.” He laughs before taking a sip and I am pretty sure his coffee has something else in it by the smell floating around.  
“And what would that be?” I ask.  
“That he was jealous of you and Mr Jaeger’s relationship and must have done something really unforgiveable to deserve to be left for dead by such a kind human as you are.”  
“Kind?” I scoff. “You really don’t know me, old man.”  
“Oh, enough with the façade young man, I know how you work because I used to be just the same.”  
“Right. Whatever.”

He laughs and we let the silence envelop us for a little while, quietly enjoying our fuming drinks before Pixis opens his mouth again, clearly smelling alcohol now.

“I am guessing he did something else?”

I simply nod, not wanting to give him further information about this.

“Does Mr. Jaeger, know you are here?”

I shake my head and take another sip, glancing at the newspaper, pretending to be absorbed by it.

“I have a question.” I say after a while.  
“Go ahead.”  
“If you knew that Erwin did something terrible, why did you make Eren lose his job and not him, knowing that Eren needed it most.”  
“Ah, finally you ask.” He smirks. “See, I have kept Erwin for a few reasons. The first one being that Eren is a very young boy and shouldn’t have to see himself end up here. I didn’t want him to lose faith or lose hope that he is much better than this life.”  
“Yeah...” I say sarcastically. “But the kid needed the money, otherwise he’d end up in the streets, so how is this fucking logic, please explain.”  
“Don’t get on your high horse, Mr Ackerman.” He laughs and my fists clench under the table. “The other reason I had, was that I knew you wouldn’t let him end up in the streets. I knew you’d take him in.”  
“How could you even know that?” I scoff. “No one even knew we were friends before a few weeks ago.”  
“Oh dear lord.” He chuckles. “You are quite transparent, Levi.”  
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask, taken aback by his confident tone.  
“That only someone completely stupid couldn’t figure out how much you love the kid, and that was more than I needed to make sure he’d never have to come back to this low life he had settled for.”

I gape at him. My brain quits functioning for a little while as I search for something else to say but I can’t find anything to reply.

“Also.” Pixis adds. “I kept Erwin here to have an eye on him. I know how he was to Eren, there are cameras here. I am not entirely lost in this situation.”  
“I’d rather deal with it myself.” I add.  
“The best way to do so, would be to get your lawyers to discuss the possibility of having a restrictive order against him. That would be the better way. Although, that would mean you no longer could come to the restaurant and neither could Eren.”  
“You have a point.” I add.

Pixis stands up and I look up at him.

“Shall you wait for Erwin, he will be here around noon, but I do suggest that you do as I said.” He says before turning around and walking back to the kitchen without another word.

I sit there wondering what to do but somehow also terrified about what he said about me being transparent. I don’t even love the kid. I like him and that’s more than enough already... That’s already more than I can give.

I shake my head and drop a 5$ bill on the table before getting up. I stand in front of the register for a moment, imagining Erwin there, trying to figure out what I would say. The thing is, I actually have nothing to say to him. A bunch of threats? I admit that beating him up would soothe me and help me cope with this but Eren would probably be very angry at me for not ignoring him. If we do seem happier than ever as if nothing could shake us, maybe Erwin will give up. I doubt that though and therefore I consider calling my lawyers to set up a meeting for early next week.

***  
**EREN POV**

I reach the door, completely exhausted and try to keep a steady breathing as I search my pockets for my keys.  
I unlock it and climb the set of stairs before I reach the apartment. Our door is not locked, which is surprising. Maybe she is there. I brace myself for the inevitable series of questions to come and try to figure out a way to get out of here quickly with the PS3. Something seems off though, because the cushions of the couch are now in the hallway and all the kitchen drawers are pulled open. I frown as I take a step forward but then hear a low whine. I blink rapidly as the noise echoes again. It’s coming from my bedroom. I walk up there and slowly try turning the knob. It’s locked. 

“I’m sorry!” She screams from across the door.

My eyes widen and I bang my shoulder against it.

“Mikasa!” I scream, thinking of the worst. “Don’t do that. Please!”  
“Eren?” She screams. “Eren! RUN!”  
“Run?” I ask pulling away from the door.  
“He’s-“ She starts but gets cut off by another voice.  
“Hello, Eren.”

I turn to my left, stuck in a corner as I take in who is there. My entire body shakes from the memories overflowing inside my brain. I can feel myself sliding into a parallel world as a panic attack attempts to take its hold on me but I stand tall, and pretend to be strong as best as I can.

“Why are you here?” I ask him.  
“A father cannot visit his children?” He asks.  
“I don’t see any father figure here.” I reply, crossing my arms.  
“Ah you haven’t lost your sharp tongue.” He adds. “Your sister told me what you’ve done.”  
“Whatever she told you is none of your business either way.” I say.  
“Perhaps you are right, since you are now both adults.” He says. “But...”  
“Why did you lock her in?” I interrupt.  
“Because she wouldn’t give me the money. This family’s money.” He says as if I was the stupidest person he ever talked to.  
“You mean the money she works two jobs to have?” I ask. “Because I won’t tell you either.”  
“You both are spoiled brats not even wanting to help your poor father. That’s not how I raised you, you are such a disappointment.”  
“Poor?” I scoff taking a step towards him. “Are you fucking kidding me? Poor? YOU left us alone. Because of YOU, she was forced to drop out of school to make sure we’d survive on our own. YOU didn’t care that we could barely eat every day. YOU never called. YOU disappeared. YOU’RE FUCKING PATHETIC! I won’t let you act as if your life is screwed up because of us, as if it is our fault if you are miserable and lonely. I won’t let you come back here and dictate our lives after not caring for so long. You never cared anyway, I say.

It’s too late for me to take a step back as his fist hits my jaw and internally I am almost tempted to laugh at how much I’ve gotten hit lately. I look back at him and he seems to take the fact that I’m still standing as a threat. He raises his fist again...

***  
**LEVI POV**

I’ve been waiting for 10 minutes when I decide to go wait by the door. This idiot is taking his sweet time and I sigh exasperatedly. As I’m about to sit on the floor, the door opens, letting out one of the neighbors, an old lady with the creepiest smoker smile.

I stand up straight and put my foot in the door before it closes as the lady makes her way to the sidewalk. She glances back at me, visibly judging me. I guess she saw me with Eren before and didn’t approve. Screw her and her narrow mind.

I climb the stairs and as I get in front of the door, I realize that there must have been a mistake. Someone is crying on the other side and a man screaming things I cannot understand. It’s weird though because I may have not come here so often but I’m sure it’s the right place. I attempt opening the door and it’s not locked.

The scene that unravels before my eyes is enough to make me gag. Eren is on the floor, his face covered in blood and he’s punching the man that straddles him. I dash towards them and lift the man up before shoving him away and putting Eren back up on his feet. Before I get to turn around, the taller guy with glasses jumps on my back and tries to hit my face.

“Really?” I say. “Are you fucking serious?”

I run backwards until the guy's back hits the wall. He momentarily lets go of me and that’s enough time for me to turn around and send him a kick right on the temple. He falls dizzily to the floor and I glance back at Eren.

“What the fuck?” I ask.  
“Father.” He says, wiping his nose on his shirt. “He has the key, he locked Mikasa inside.”  
“Give me the key.” I say to the man right away.

He shakes his head and I gladly throw my knee to his face.

“Give me the fucking key.” I repeat. “Or I will take it from your cold hands.”

He grunts before trying to take it out of his pocket. I kneel down and take it. I hand it to Eren and then the man grabs my wrist, trying to twist it.

“Very funny.” I say shoving my other fist in his stomach.

The man looks up to me with his broken glasses and blood slowly flowing out from one of his ears. 

“Who are you?” He asks me.  
“I am Levi Ackerman.” I reply, crossing my arms. “I’m your son’s boyfriend and the owner of this apartment complex so you should...”  
“Grisha Jaeger and... first of all, you are not the owner of this place.” The man says as I hear the bedroom door open from behind me.  
“Not yet.” I say. “But I have my check book on me and I am pretty sure that whoever is, would accept a 3 million dollar offer for this shit place if I wanted to have it and keep you from coming in.”  
“Ahhh, so that is why Eren has become a fag?” He laughs. “He has a sugar daddy now.”

Eren crosses the distance in a second and I don’t even attempt stopping him as he punches the man’s face so hard that I can literally hear his jaw crack.

“I am sorry, Eren. He was so nice with me at first and I had to tell him where you were and...” Mikasa starts  
“SHUT UP!” Eren says. “All of you shut up.”

 

He walks back to the living room and unplugs the PS3 quickly. He stops near me and nods.

“We’re done here.” He says.

I agree but don’t move. I am not done just yet.

“Mikasa, you are coming with us for tonight.” I say and I see Eren turning back to me.  
“No.” Eren says.  
“Yes.” I argue. “Just for tonight, I do not trust this guy.”  
“Fine, whatever, don’t listen to me.” Eren adds. “It’s not like you ever do.”  
“We can talk about this later in private.” I reply sternly.

He starts to make his way downstairs and Mikasa looks at me before she follows. I turn my attention back to the mess that is leaning against the wall beside the door and glare at it.

“If you ever try to contact Eren again, by any way, I’ll have you arrested.”  
“I’m scared.” He laughs adjusting his glasses. “Come on, Levi, I was only trying to raise him to be strong like his dad, to put him on the right path, to keep him from making mistakes after mistakes like he's doing right now and you know that.”  
“First of all, you don’t get to call me Levi and I won't let you say that this relationship is a mistake. Second of all, Eren is stronger than any of us because he is determined to not lead the same pathetic life as you. Third and final, you piece of shit will never, EVER, contact either of them again. Am I being fucking clear?”  
“We’ll see what my lawyers will say.” He threatens.  
“They are adults.” I add. “You don’t have any rights anymore. Plus, if you do contact them, I will know and you be sure I’ll make you regret it one way or another. You do not know me, and I can promise you that you really don’t want to push your luck.”

I step out and slam the door closed behind me. Apparently I’ll have a few restrictive orders to take care of but first of all I need to find an apartment for Mikasa.

***

“Are you going to be mad at me forever?” I ask him as I rinse the shampoo off my head.

He doesn’t reply and crosses his arms.

“Tu es un idiot!” I add, shaking my head.  
“Et toi tu es stupide de l’aider.” Eren says, crossing his arms.

My eyes dart to him and I can’t help but gape.

“You’ve been learning French?” I ask.  
“I’ve been reading and watching movies with subtitles.” He says. “Which doesn’t make me less angry about the fact that you are helping her.”  
“It’s your sister.” I add. “Was I supposed to leave her there and let him possibly murder her? Come on, he wasn’t in his right mind and you know it.”  
“That’s always how he’s been.” Eren says. “Mikasa told him I was gay, as if she wanted him to hate me ever more than he already did. You shouldn’t have helped her.”  
“She is sleeping downstairs you won’t even have to see her and I am sure she didn’t mean it this way.”  
“How do you fucking know? Suddenly you’re an expert with my fucking life and situation? Seriously Levi, now is probably the only time where you should shut the fuck up.”  
“Fine.”

I do as he says. Perhaps he’s angrier than I thought but he also cannot think straight right now. It’s probably overwhelming for all this to happen in just a day and I can only assume school is torture to him too. I finish washing myself and step out, not even glancing back at him as I make my way to the bedroom across the corridor.

When he walks in, fifteen minutes later, he seems much calmer than before. He gets dressed but I keep my attention on the boring soap that plays on TV. He climbs in bed and I keep ignoring him. That’s what he asked, right? Or perhaps it’s a mix of it and my ego taking a hit. You want me to shut the fuck up? Then I shall do that to please your majesty. I am unfair by acting so childishly, but I can’t help it. He makes it hard to keep my emotions in check, especially since I’m already on edge because of what Pixis said.  
Eventually, he sits and turns to face me.

“Levi, I’m sorry.” He says.

I pause the show and glance at him.

“I didn’t mean to be rude. I know you’re supporting me the best way you can and I’m acting like a moron. I am sorry.”

I sigh and turn my attention back to the TV.

“It’s a good thing you brought Mikasa here.” He admits. “I would’ve regretted not helping her. I am sorry for being mean to you.”

I sit up straight and turn to face him.

“No need to apologize, everyone was on edge today. It’s over now.” I say, gently stroking his cheek. “You should rest.”  
“I didn’t mean it.” He adds and I angle my head, looking at him quizzically. “I didn’t mean it when I said you never listen to me.”

I blink a few times before I nod.

“I’m the one who never listens to you, and in some situations it’s good that I don’t, but that was unfair, I shouldn’t have said that. Forgive me?” He smirks and bites his swollen lip.  
“Do not worry, we are fine, brat. Stop apologizing.” I say as I start to lower myself on the bed again.  
“Thank you.” He says and I pause to sit up straight again.  
“For not being there on time again?” I ask. “Do not fucking thank me for this.”  
“Levi!” He gasps, reaching for me and pulling me closer to him.

I resist a bit but then decide that I really want us to be close right now. I am trying to explore my feelings a bit more and I think surrendering to Eren’s signs of affection is a good step forward.

“Enough with the guilt.” Eren says. “Nothing happened to me, I just got a few more punches, it could have been much worse for me or for Mikasa if you hadn’t walked in. Thank you for saving me for the 30th time.”  
“You’re saving me every day, I owe you.” I reply, not even thinking about what I’ve just done.

Eren slowly pushes me back in front of him, never letting go of my shoulders as his gaze meets mine. I’m pretty sure my cheeks are flaming red as I try and focus on the paler green tint of his eyes and not on the fact that I have just told him how important he is to me... in a way. I get lost in my thoughts for a moment as I try and figure out a way to explain this while Eren stares at me with a wide grin spread across his face.

“I love you.” He says. 

I gasp and stare at him blankly, thinking I must have heard wrong.

“W-What?” I ask.  
“I love you too fucking much to keep myself from saying it any longer. I’m sorry, but I fell in love with you Levi, I broke rule #5.”

I gasp again as my face turns crimson red. I curse at myself on the inside, for not being able to say a word to him, for letting him fall this deep and for enjoying the sound of those words on his lips a bit too much. I gape at him and blink a few times before I lean in and press my mouth on his. He smiles against my lips and I do the same. Fuck the black eye and the bruised jaw. Fuck the swollen lips and the bloody scraped knuckles. I wanted him to be mine all along and I will stop denying the fact that I have been waiting and hoping for those 3 words. It is sad how much I’ve failed to keep the promises I made myself. Maybe sometimes promises need to be broken in order for the light to finally shine its light on you. But right now... all I can think of... is that maybe, just maybe, Pixis was right about me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always read/replied to and much appreciated ^_^
> 
> Also note that I am sorry about taking so long to reply this week. I had a lot of cleaning to do and didn't even do much of anything else than that. ^_^
> 
> See you next week for another slice!


	16. Steamed hot dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Yo! Nearing the end, aren't we? Only 4 regular chapters left and 1 epilogue. I'm already a bit sad about this although I got the next fic in my head I will most probably take a tiny break in between and write a few one shots ^_^... In this chapter, Levi's anger builds up.... I don't have much to say this week except I hope you'll like it. Enjoy!
> 
> Mood song:  
> Nine Inch Nails - Closer (very graphic language and might not be everyone's cup of tea lol)

**EREN POV**

I lick my way up his length and dare to stare at him while I do. His lips twitch leaving the trace of a smirk on his usually impassive face. Of course, I didn’t mean to say it right away. Especially, since I wasn’t sure myself, but seeing him standing up to my dad to protect me and my sister made me realize that he cares way more than he says. He told me, before I had the accident, that he didn’t want to be involved with my “family shit”. I know now, after he stood up to Mikasa in the Hospital and now my dad, that he wants to be involved, he wants to be part of my life and there is no denying it. I doubt he’ll ever love me the same way I love him, but the fact he admitted that he likes me is already so much more than what I hoped for.

I bob my head up and down and am delighted to hear the tiny muffled noises escaping his mouth as I move. He is trying to be quiet, considering Mikasa is downstairs, but is having a hard time. Being the annoying person that I am, I decide to surprise him with one of my new skills. I slow down and he raises his head to look at me. I can see the question in his eyes but I only smirk as I slowly take him all in. I steady my breathing as I suppress my gag reflex and push deeper. My nose brushes against his skin and he instantly arches himself, gripping the sheets. I can feel him twitch inside my mouth before he raises himself on his elbows with a very lovely expression of shock plastered on his face.

“How the fuck did you get that good?” He asks.

I pull away and chuckle from the obvious possessive tone he used.

“I...practiced with a banana” I say shyly.  
“Did this banana have fucking human skin?” He says, sitting up straight.  
“NO! Levi, I swear.”  
“You-You practiced....You practiced this with a fucking banana?” He says incredulously.

I nod and he starts laughing uncontrollably, falling back on the bed as he tries to breathe. I frown and lean down, immediately repeating my previous move. Suddenly the room is silent as his hands grip the sheets once more. I wrap my hand around his wrist and guide him to my hair.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

I nod the best I can before Levi slowly starts to buck his hips forward. He gives me enough time to breathe in between, which is great. I guess that’s one perk of being gay, your partner knows what to do or not since you both have the same equipment to work with. A very fucking amazing equipment in this case I have to say.  
Alternating between quicker moves and slower, deeper ones, I eventually bring Levi near the edge. He instinctively grabs my hair and I growl, remembering how the vibrations tend to send me to heaven. He tries to push me away as he’s obviously about to come but I go deeper instead.

“You can’t swallow!” He pants.

I nod stubbornly as he arches himself once more. He grips the sheets with both his hands as he moans loudly enough that Mikasa certainly heard it. I focus on the hot liquid gliding down my throat as I swallow it all. I pull away and smile.  
Levi presses a hand on his forehead, still panting, before he sits up to look at me.

“You didn’t learn to swallow from a banana...” He frowns.  
“Well, I was lucky. I never tried before but I read about it.” I say with a sheepish smile.

He gets up and heads to the bathroom. I quickly follow behind, knowing he won’t kiss me if I don’t brush my teeth.

I gaze at him as he wipes a wet towel on his stomach and softening cock. He catches my stare.

“You read about it...” He scoffs. “That was one of the best blow jobs I’ve ever had and you’re telling me ‘you read about it’.”

I wipe my mouth before I sit on the counter.  
“You sound jealous.” I tease.  
“Well fuck, Eren... no one is that good by just reading about it.” He says before turning towards the bedroom.

I jump to my feet and grab his wrist before he walks away.

“I might have watched a few videos.” I admit.  
“Still.”  
“Are...are you saying that you think I’ve cheated on you?” I laugh.

He shrugs and his glare darkens. I can see that he hates admitting it.

“Levi!” I say, grabbing his shoulders. “I’d never do that. I fucking love you, what other proof do you need?”  
“Tch. Nevermind.” He says, trying to head out once more but I keep a strong hold on him.  
“I would never do that. I will never leave you.” I add. “What even made you think that I would cheat on you? I have no reason to do that.”

He pulls away and glares at me.

“You have all the reasons. I’m much older and now that you have your freedom back and that everyone knows about you being gay, certainly you’d get taken away from me soon enough by a much younger and nicer guy.”

I stare at him blankly. No. He must be kidding.

“Levi... I have never been in love before. I never knew I was gay before. I have never felt anything towards anyone the way I do with you, so please... never think of me that way.”  
“I can’t help it.” He sighs, suddenly looking way more miserable than aggravated. “I told you that you were trading your cage for another one. I shouldn’t have let myself want you so much. Not if there is ever a chance of me losing you.”  
“You’ll never lose me.” I say a bit louder. “And if you think your age matters, remember that you are much hotter than most of my teenager fellows.”  
“But when I’m going to be 50...” He starts but then pauses, realizing that he has just said something that goes way beyond the regular long term relationship.

I blink a few times and then let a huge grin spread wide on my face.

“When you’re 50, you’ll still be the asshole I fell in love with and I’ll still give you the best blow jobs you ever had.”  
“I didn’t mean...” He starts but I cut him off.  
“Yes you meant it, and that’s all I need.” I laugh. “Now listen to me. 1-I will never cheat on you. 2-I will not leave you. 3-I am allowed to suck bananas if I god damn want to. 4-No need for a cage because you’re my home, I’ll always come back to my home. 5-I love you and I’ll keep on saying it until you’ll force me to stop. And just so you know, even that won’t make me stop.”

He takes a step forward and I wrap my arms around him. It takes him a moment before he does the same and I can feel his wet cheek against my skin. How did I ever manage to make such a strong men cry? I’ll never know but I want him to understand that as long as he’ll obviously want me here, I will stay. If the day ever comes where he doesn’t, I’ll fight my way in again until he can manage to convince me of his hatred towards me. I hope this day never comes.

***

**LEVI POV**

We spent the entire weekend on the couch watching horror movie after horror movie. Eren was commenting how he would’ve done this or that and that they should stop talking and act before the killer caught them. He was brave but even I, jumped at some unexpected scenes. We laughed as we both hid under a blanket during a very creepy scene of one of the paranormal activity movies. The door had creaked right after and Mikasa had joined us by scaring the shit out of us. She was a lot nicer to me now and so we ended up hiding like children under blankets as if it would change anything. In this soft wall, we did think we were invincible and for once in my life, I felt like I actually belonged somewhere. I understand a bit more what Eren said about this. I never had a family...at least not one that was okay with me being gay. I never had a love life either and my friends, except for Hanji, have always been nothing more than traitors or backstabbers. It’s the first time where I feel entirely safe without being on my own. It’s like I’ve missed this all along and never even knew about it before. I smile as I lean closer to Eren. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I can’t help but smile even though someone is getting attacked by a ghost on tv.

Monday rolled around and I met two lawyers. One of them was clearly not okay with the ‘being gay’ situation and so I walked out, slamming the door on my way. I gave a lovely finger to the secretary also, who looked outraged by my move. Guess I’m allowed to act in a childish manner if these people treat me as if I’m a worthless human being. I do think I am, in a way, but the difference now, is that I have people depending on me and it’s all that matters. This brat is the only thing that matters and I still hate admitting it to myself.  
The second lawyer was nice and I had already met him before. After a few hours, I came out of there with a bunch of restrictive orders for Eren, Mikasa and I. The process went fast because I had the money to make it quicker. There’s nothing you can’t buy, isn’t it? It is for a good cause, so I don’t even feel one ounce of guilt as I walk out and throw the papers on the backseat of my car. I won’t be telling Eren about this. He doesn’t need to worry and it’ll just make it easier for him to see that those 3 people won’t be bothering him again.  
The rest of the week went fast and I managed to find a one bedroom apartment for Mikasa that was near College. She argued with me that she wouldn’t be going to College, that she had to work but I knew she would do that. That’s why I paid 2 years of the lease in advance. She hit me. She actually hit me when I showed her the contract. Eren laughed before hugging me tight and thanking me. Mikasa joined a few seconds later. I was stiff and uncomfortable but I couldn’t say I hated it. The next weekend, Armin and Hanji came over to help us grab Mikasa’s stuff from what Eren still refers to as the Hell Hole. I didn’t allow Mikasa and Eren inside for the sake of this new clean slate they had. They didn’t need any memories from it except for their belongings. Armin had walked out with one box filled with Eren’s clothes and a broken laptop. I took the box and threw it in the garbage. 

“Hey!” Eren yelled. “I want to keep a few shirts and I’ll get this laptop fixed.”  
“No need, you already have new clothes.” I argued.  
“Well I want to keep the shirt I had when I met you, alright?” He blushed. “And mom’s sweater and scarves.”

I nodded, suddenly feeling guilty for being so careless. Eren walked back with about half the box and a photo of his mom. 

“You look like her.” I said.  
“Thank you.” He smiled.

By the end of the day, Mikasa was inside her new apartment and we had gathered around a stupid game called jungle speed as we hate pizza. Hanji suggested that we would put the totem in another room to make it harder and everyone agreed except me. Of course my words meant literally nothing to these people so they did it anyway. Fucking idiots. The first duel happened between Armin and Eren. I couldn’t help but laugh as Armin jumped on Eren’s back to try and slow him down. It worked because Armin came out of the kitchen with the totem in his hand while Eren was muttering stuff to himself.  
The next duel was me and Hanji. She smirked before she got up at the speed of lightening. You’d think they would be fair, since Hanji is so fucking tall compared to me, but of course not. Being closer to the kitchen, I got up from the living room floor and managed to throw a chair behind me, keeping Hanji from following as quick as she thought she would. I literally threw myself on the floor in order to get the totem on time. I did, but quickly, Hanji’s weight fell on me. She was trying to take it from my hands and so I grabbed her ponytail and shoved her off of me, running back to the living room, noticing that my pizza had fell to the floor and that Eren was already cleaning my mess up. Good brat. 

“Ah, my boyfriend’s the best.” Eren said as he noticed the totem in my hand.  
“Just...don’t... Don’t say it that way.” I blushed, cursing at myself.  
“As if we didn’t know. It was official before you even called it official.” Mikasa laughs.

I can’t help but stare at her as a grin spreads on my face. Is she...accepting me? I guess I can never forgive her for what she did to Eren, but then again, she wasn’t really acting from her own will, I guess. Either way, this night was perfect and when we got home, it felt surprisingly empty. I would miss the raven haired girl. Who would’ve thought?

***

I’m driving back home, from our weekly meeting and I can’t say that I’m happy. In fact, I’m furious. Thursdays are usually a synonym of progress and future plans, but today was particularly shitty. They had wanted to throw me out of the company for a while now. The only reason I managed to stay was the fact that I came up with an idea that they couldn’t refuse. They had been really enthusiastic about it, in fact. The only problem, now, was that they were trying to appropriate themselves the idea that my new employee came up with. I would fight teeth and nails for this idea. It was ours and it would break records for sure, so there was no way I’d let this go.  
They argued that the guy never showed up to any meetings but I had told them before, that he wouldn’t be coming until he’d be done with his present contract, which was still ongoing. They were getting impatient and even threatened that I would be losing my job soon enough. I guess my only safety net was the fact that they didn’t know the employee yet. This guy was still working on other projects so I couldn’t pressure him to move to his new office just yet. I guess the curiosity they had for him, is what was keeping me here right now. Either way, it’s getting harder to go to work every day, especially since the news started spreading that I had a boyfriend. One of my particularly shitty co-workers named Oluo made sure to tell me that I should focus more on work, instead of my boyfriend’s dick up my ass. I almost snapped. Almost. But I remembered that someone was waiting for me at home, and that I needed this job, in order to live the life we both wanted. It’s not like I’d ever let anyone take my own company away from me either.

Needless to say that at the end of the day, when I crossed the door of the house and noticed the huge mess in the kitchen, my fists clenched.

“Eren!” I scream right before his head pops over the open fridge door. “What the fuck is this?”  
“I tried cooking something for you.” He smiles.  
“Well you fucking failed. Clean this shit up, I’ll call for Thai.”

He slams the fridge closed and folds his arms.

“What?” I snap.  
“What the fuck is your problem?” He asks, taking a few steps towards me.  
“Shit day at work.” I say, taking off my tie and rolling my sleeves to start cleaning.  
“I’m sorry.” He says.

I ignore the guilt in my gut and start picking up the trash.

“Shut up and clean.” I add.  
“FINE! Okay...” He says.

When we are finally done, I go upstairs and make my way into the shower, trying to breathe steadily as the hot water glides down my back. Until cold fingers snap me out of my relaxing session. Eren is stark naked and climbing in with me.

“I’m done.” I say. “The water’s yours.”  
“Wait!” He says, grabbing my wrist.

I shove his hand away and glare at him.

“I just wanted to be with you, I already showered when I got home from school.” He frowns.  
“Well I’m not in the mood.” I say sternly.  
“I’ll bottom.” He says with pleading eyes, trying to lighten the mood.

He’s trying to make me happy and it’s pissing me off even more.

“I’d be too rough with you if we did it now so please leave me alone, Eren.” I sigh before stepping out.

I make my way into the bedroom and quickly get some clothes on before cold fingers slide under my shirt again. I quickly turn around and push him on the bed.

“I said no.”  
“Alright.” Eren says, suddenly obviously angry.  
“Look, we can’t always want sex at the same time okay? I don’t want to hurt you so let me fucking breathe right now.”  
“Fine, asshole, breathe while I go for a fucking walk.” He adds.

I grab his wrist, not even thinking about it and shove him back on the bed. He seems surprised but not any less angry.

“Quit being a fucking brat!” I warn.  
“Quit being a fucking jerk!” He says.

I pull his wrists over his head before I lean down and bite his lip.

“Enough.” I say, suddenly turned on even though I really don’t want to.  
“Fuck you.” Eren says, turning his head away.

That does it for me. I’m stressed and I’ve been keeping it all in and all those feelings building up in me with the addition of the past surfacing back up made the past weeks fucking hard. I was happy. I am happy... but he needs to understand that I need time to think all of this through. Maybe I do feel certain things I wouldn’t allow myself to feel, but everything is so fucking confusing right now and him resisting me just makes me want to be even angrier.

“Fucking tease.” I say.  
“There’s a difference between being a tease and doing something nice. I tried to set up a nice evening and you fucked it all up with your shit mood. Talk to me when you’re not PMSing.”

I tighten my grip on his wrists and glare at him.

“Ouch.” Eren says. “You’re hurting me.”

I smirk before I pull away and walk up to the desk, pulling one of the drawers open. When I find what I’m looking for, I pull it out and turn towards Eren.

“Wow... should I be scared?” Eren asks, looking at the crop.

As a response, I pull out another crop with soft fur at the end.

“Now I’m confused.” He adds.  
“That’s the most you’ll get from me as far as bdsm is concerned...but I have to say that right now I really want to use those on you.”  
“So you want to punish me for trying to be nice to you?” Eren scoffs.  
“It doesn’t hurt.” I add, quickly slapping his thigh with the crop.

Eren seems surprised. Indeed, it doesn’t hurt so long as you’re not a psychopath when using it. 

“What about the other one?” He asks.  
“Well... if you listen to me... you’ll get rewarded with this one.”  
“Whatever.” He says, letting himself fall back on the bed.

I sigh.

“What is it, Eren?” I ask.  
“You acting like a jerk is everything but a turn on, you know.”

I’m growing angrier by the minute and so I climb on top of him. I straddle him and his gaze meets mine.

“Getting there.” He says.  
“You’re a pain in the ass.”  
“That’d be you, since I’m bottom right now.”  
“Shut your god damn smart mouth for a moment and let me just fuck you into the mattress okay?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“That’s so impersonal. Where’s your smirk? Where’s the light in your eyes?” I ask.  
“You can’t expect me to be turned on because you want to get it over with.” He scoffs.  
“Did I say that?”  
“No but it’s written all over you.”

I stand up and walk to the desk, putting the toys back in place. When I turn around, Eren sits at the end of the bed.

“Are you going to tell me what’s up?” He asks.  
“They are trying to get me out of the company, as usual.” I sigh. “It’s just a shit day, don’t try and figure out why.”  
“I’m trying to help.” He says.  
“I don’t need help.” I add.

Suddenly, he gets up and rushes to me. He grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me.

“If you think, for one second, that I will stand here watching you shut everything and everyone out because some stupid idiots hate your guts, you are so wrong. Snap out of it. Quit being a jerk to me and just say what’s wrong so we can find a solution.”  
“There isn’t any solution. I have to wait for the new employee and endure what’s between now and then so stop caring okay? Stop it.”  
“No.” He says, grabbing my wrists.  
“YES!” I snap, shoving his hands away.

Before I can say another word, his lips are on mine and he pins me against the wall. He lifts me up and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. As soon as the growing bulge in his pants touches me, I am done for. I press my tongue on his lips, forcing my way into his mouth as I explore it. He starts walking backwards to the bed and then let’s himself fall on his back. I straddle him and roll my hips as our tongues keep dancing together.  
Eventually, I throw his underwear and mine across the room. I lick my way down his stomach and to his cock. I assume he’s expecting a blow job but I need to fuck him right now so I give him a few strokes as my tongue teases at his entrance. He growls, hoping for more.  
I fumble around the nightstand to try and find the lube as the room darkens from the sun setting. When I do, I immediately pour some on my fingers and slide two right inside. Eren winces and then glares at me. I suck on his dick a few times to try and make him less tense as I slide a third finger in. I stretch his hole and when I deem him ready, I pull them out.

“Turn around.” I order.  
“What?” He asks.  
“Get on all four.” I say, stroking myself as he obeys.

I position myself and barely wait for his nod to let myself glide in. So tight. So so tight. I moan and try to control myself as Eren raises a finger, sign that I have to wait for him to adjust. He then nods again and I accelerate gradually.  
The only sound in the room is my hips slamming against his, ours moans, and the lust filled sound of our bodies becoming one. I quicken the pace and slam harder and deeper. Eren winces a few times but not enough for me to worry. I switch my angle a bit and then hit the perfect spot. Eren’s back arches and I can’t help but growl at the view before my eyes. I caress his muscles and let my hand travel up and down his spine, earning a few shivers before I can feel myself slowly nearing my orgasm.

“Ride me.” I say.  
“I’m not that good at...” Eren starts.  
“Ride me, I’ll help.” I repeat before pulling out and letting myself fall on my back.

Eren obeys and climbs on top of me. His eyes filled with lust and tiredness. I moan when he lowers himself down on me and he does the same. It takes us a moment to find the right angle again but when we do, Eren starts moving a bit faster and I can see his muscle tighten as he forces the build up to continue. His legs gradually become weaker as I’m also nearing my own peak. I steady his legs with my arms and he gets the message. I start moving my hips up and down at a very quick pace when I notice Eren’s hands suddenly grabbing at my thighs as a look of pure bliss appears on his face.

“Levi...” he whispers in a breath as he rides the end of his orgasm and covers my stomach in cum.

I quicken my pace even more and my breathing becomes erratic as I come, mumbling Eren’s name.

We both fall on our backs, neither of us wanting to get up and get a wet towel.

“I’m still mad.” Eren says, looking straight at the ceiling.  
“So am I.” I reply.  
“Alright then.” He says, climbing on top of me. “Round 2. You bottom.”  
“I’m not ready.” I add.  
“Well, old man... I am.”

I glare at him and try to hide the smirk that tries to betray me. Eren wears a matching one and all I can think about is how did I get so fucking lucky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): So? How was that? Now I'm inviting you on the downfall of the rollercoaster, hopefully you'll hold on tight until we reach the end. ♥
> 
> Comments are always read/replied to and much appreciated ^_^


	17. Spicy wings burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N) Hello everyone! Nearing the end aren't we? So... this part burns. It's the last really hurtful part but I tried to end it a bit positive. I didn't want to leave you guys sad or angry again. Also. I drew a fanart of Levi upside down the pole from chapter 4. I do not draw digital art, I am shit at it, so don't judge it please, I'm a traditional artist, k? lol. Here it is: [CLICK HERE](http://hikarimitsuko.tumblr.com/post/132444326343/soyou-dont-want-me-at-allright-levi-extra)
> 
> Mood song (both of those are in my top 10 fave songs ever):  
> Florence and the machine - No light no light  
> Zella Day - Ace of hearts

**EREN POV**

The next week goes a bit faster than the previous one and I am a bit nervous about Levi’s behaviour. He has been cranky and on edge but I never ask why. I know better than to bother him with my questions. Especially since I assume it’s probably because of work again. Those assholes have been on his back for a while now and I can only begin to imagine how much pressure and stress this puts on his shoulders, aside from our unexpected relationship, which is surely stressing him too. 

On my part, I couldn’t be happier. For the first time ever, everything seems to be fine. Of course college is stressing me, but I am trying not to think about it until I actually graduate. I’ll probably just go to the nearest one so I don’t have to move away.   
It’s amazing how fast spring went this year. It’s such a renewal for me too. My entire life changed for the better and I can only be grateful to the man in front of me for all this. He’s sleeping, his head resting on the other side of the couch, his legs tangled with mine. I cross my arms behind my head and stare at the ceiling. The last tests of senior year are arriving and it does make me nervous. I do not want to disappoint him, especially in French. I have been watching a lot of movies recently with English subtitles to try and associate words. It helped a lot and I can even reply to him in his mother tongue sometimes, which pisses him off as much as it turns him on.

School has also been going smoothly because we are nearing the end of the year, but also because Jean has been absent all week, which makes my life easier. I also got to spend some time with Armin this week because Annie was sick. I didn’t blame him for being with her 24/7. In fact, now that I knew how love felt like, I could only understand how they felt about each other. We ended up going to the mall after school on that day, and so it was my first night away from Levi in a while. That night, when I got home, he was passed out on the couch. What an horrible boyfriend I would’ve been not to wake him up with my skillful tongue moves. I’ve gotten better at this. Better at everything, in fact. To the point, where I’m even wondering why I’ve been denying my sexuality for so long. Then again, I can’t see myself with anyone else so it might have never triggered before this greek god fought his way into my life.

Sunday, for most people, is a very shitty day. For me, it’s always a special day though. Why you ask? Because Levi always seems a bit more close to me on that day. Probably because we spent the entire weekend in each other’s arms and now we both have to go back to our responsibilities for the next five days. Sunday is always his most talkative day, his most cuddling day... It’s on that day where he acts the most like a boyfriend towards me. He doesn’t seem to want to let go of me. Not that he ever does, but Sunday is different. Sunday is my new favorite day.   
He passed out on the couch again and I play a few games before I start yawning myself. I turn off the console and turn towards Levi. It is hard to resist pressing my lips against his. They are pressed in a thin line and his brows are furrowed. I try smoothing the frown with my thumb but it just comes back. I chucklesoftly before I press a kiss on his forehead. I slide my arms under his tiny figure and pick him up clumsily. The fucker is heavy for his height, but I won’t complain about the muscles that cause that heaviness. Those abs are to die for.   
I shake my head as I walk to the door of his... our bedroom. I pull the sheets awkwardly with my foot before I lower him on the bed as gently as possible. He doesn’t seem to wake up and turns to his side. I climb in beside him and it doesn’t take long before I feel his arms wrap around me. He presses himself on my back and I instantly feel him getting hard. He presses his lips on my shoulder and I feel the grin on his face.

“You need to sleep.” I chuckle.  
“Can’t.” He replies before trying to give me a hickie.  
“You’ve been exhausted lately, Levi.” I laugh. “You need to rest.”

He growls before he turns around to his other side, visibly angry that I said no to him. I smile to myself, knowing I did the right thing, although I am quite a bit hard too now. I turn around and wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer.

“You’re hard, bastard!” He yells.  
“I am, but I don’t want you to get sick. Please sleep.” I beg.  
“Fine, shitty brat. Fine.”  
“Love you too.” I giggle.  
“Shut up.” He says.

***

I walk out of my science exam, feeling more confident that I’ve been in a long time. I recall the memories of last night when Levi wouldn’t stop poking me with his god damn hard dick. Who wouldn’t give up? Of course I gave up. I was glad I did, even though we were both exhausted this morning. It was beyond worth it, I have to say. And now that I have certainly passed this exam, I am feeling great about the other ones I’ll have this week and the next one. School is almost over, I can’t believe it. I also have been thinking about prom a lot. I didn’t want to go before, but now that I have someone, I am considering asking him. Of course he’ll probably say no because that’s not his style...I guess. Then again, did he ever go to his? I am debating whether to ask or not and how because being the guy I am, I can’t just ask. It needs to be something special.

“Hey Jaeger!”

My smile fades away as I recognize the voice calling me from across the hallway.

“Can I talk to you?” Jean asks.  
“About what?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.  
“In private. I want...to apologize.” He says, suspiciously nervous.  
“And you need to do that in private?”  
“I’d feel more free to talk. My reputation... you know.” Jean says.

I take a step back and snort.

“Yeah... your reputation. Sure... whatever.”

He smiles, barely believing that I’m giving him such a chance. Whatever, nothing can kill my mood right now, not even this dumbass.

“Follow me.” He says.

I trail behind slowly, as people stare at us together, wondering how this became acceptable. I am wondering the same thing, to be honest. He stops in front of the team’s locker room and makes his way inside, keeping the door open for me.  
As soon as I step in, I realize my mistake when two strong pairs of arms grab me from both sides. I try to see who they are but their faces are hidden under their hoodies. I turn my head and see that Jean is locking the door. The lights are closed and it’s dark. It’s still early morning; no one will come here at this hour. Shit. SHIT. Shit.

“You seriously thought I’d apologize?” He scoffs as he paces around the room.

I struggle to get away but nothing works. Shit. I was so stupid and careless. Levi will kill him if he knows about this. What am I saying? Of course he’ll know. This dark place isn’t just for little talk. Fuck.

“I thought you might have matured a little bit. Apparently I was wrong.” I say.

I never knew when to shut up. The fist hitting my jaw is a great proof of that statement.

“Do you even realize what kind of name it gives me? Do you even understand that I can’t travel or get a proper job?”  
“What are you talking about?” I say, frowning.  
“Don’t play dumb, shit face. You filed a restrictive order against me! That’s a fucking big deal! My dad legit beat up my ass, that’s why I was out of school.”

I gape at him, not knowing what to say. I didn’t file a restrictive order. Maybe the school did it? Or perhaps it was Shadis or Mikasa that did it? And suddenly everything clicks; Levi did it. I decide to ignore this part and provoke him instead. If I’m going down, I’m not going down without a fight.

“How was it getting beat up by your dad? I guess you can relate to me now? Right?” I laugh.

Another punch comes but he stops himself about an inch from my face.

“You do know you’re breaking the conditions of that restrictive order right now?” I ask. “Still... it’s pretty lame that you need those two gorillas holding me, to fight. It’s not very fair, but then again I wouldn’t expect any less from you, Kirstein.”

He growls before he dashes towards me and punches my stomach. I cough as I take in the hit. He then nods to the two guys, who both let me go. They step away and sit on a bench. Jean opens his arms wide and laughs at me.

“Here, Jaeger. I’m being fair now. How about you show me what you can do?”  
“I am able to take you on, Jean, but I don’t need to. You have no trouble making a fool out of yourself on your own.”  
“Shut... SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He screams before running to me and punching my chin hard enough for my teeth to sink deep in my lip. “I’ll force you to defend yourself whether you want it or not.”  
“FINE!” I scream as I wipe the blood from my lip. 

I grab his collar and push him back against the line of lockers, banging his head repeatedly on one of the metal doors. He smiles and my anger rises even further above. He blocks my attacks a few times and manages to hit me several times, making me even more pissed off.  
Eventually I manage to get him on his back and punch his face a few times in a row. When he seems dizzy enough, I lift him up to his feet and hit his stomach as hard as I humanly can, letting the anger run through my fists. The anger of being bullied for so long, the anger of naively thinking I could ever find happiness so easily, the anger of more lies between Levi and I, the anger of knowing he doesn’t trust me enough to be able to take care of myself, the anger of knowing he acted behind my back, the anger of Jean always making my life hell, the anger of seeing my dad again, the anger of remembering how being angry feels like.

I let it consume me as I keep hitting numbly. My knuckles covered in blood as every part of my body hurt from being hit too many times. Eventually Jean falls to the floor.

“Not bad.” He says, coughing up blood.  
“Fuck you.” I say, letting myself glide to the floor.  
“I guess we’ll both be expelled now.” He laughs.  
“I sure hope not you fucking moron.”  
“I’ll tell them it was me.” Jean says.  
“Why do you suddenly care?” I scoff.  
“I don’t, Jaeger. But it’s the first time you stand up for yourself. I can’t let you go down. I may hate your guts, but I appreciate your determination. I’ll send you an invoice for knocking out my tooth, though.”

I sigh and roll my eyes.

“What about school, your dad?”  
“None of your concern, suicidal jerk.”

Weirdly enough, as the volleyball coach entered the locker room and gasped at what he saw, I couldn’t help but feel guilty about Jean. At the same time, he deserved it and so much worst. All I felt was pain and exhaustion from over thinking. It took a while before Jean and I were done explaining ourselves. I did say it was a mutual fight so that Jean wouldn’t get thrown in jail. He was going to a top ranked school so I would probably never see him again. I guess I didn’t need his life to be screwed. I was a better man now. And although I was, something was keeping me from forgiving Levi about keeping me in the dark on this.

***

When I cross the door, I go straight up to the upstairs bathroom. I take off my clothes and slowly climb into the shower, holding my ribs as I do.  
“Eren?” Levi’s voice calls from the hall.

I don’t reply, not knowing what to say. The door opens and he peeks in. He doesn’t notice the blood yet with all the steam that fills the bathroom.

“Eren, are you okay?”  
“Why do you care?” I snap.

I see, through the fogged up glass that he steps back and angles his head.

“Eren, what’s going on?”

I turn the shower off; grab a towel to wipe my face as I step out, then, I let it fall to the floor on purpose. Levi gasps.

“I don’t know.” I say. “You tell me.”  
“Who the fuck did that?” He says through gritted teeth, fists clenched tightly.  
“Jean, who else?” I laugh. “Everything’s been taken care of. Don’t worry, your restrictive order is in the works already.”

I bend down and pick up the towel again, wiping myself. Levi takes a step forward, but I glare at him.

“Don’t!” I shout. “Don’t touch me.”

He leaves his hand mid-air between us a moment before it falls back beside him.

“I didn’t want you to be stressed about it.” He admits.

I pause and laugh loudly, sarcastically.

“You didn’t trust me enough, you mean.”  
“Eren! Of course I trust you, I believe in you. I didn’t want anything to happen to you anymore. I didn’t want to see this again. See you hurt again.”  
“Well that worked out fucking great, didn’t it?”

He glares at me and folds his arms.

“So what? This is it? We’re done? You’re angry that I’m showing you just how much I care? How much fucking important you are to me? You’re giving up just like that? Fuck... Eren.”  
“Calm the fuck down. I never said I was leaving you. I just need some time alone to calm down and the only person who can help me do that is Mikasa. I’m gonna go there for a while.”  
“A while?” He asks.  
“As long as I need not to be pissed at you. Alright?” I sigh, pushing the tears back inside.  
“Okay.” He whispers in a breath before walking out.

I hear the entrance door slam shut and imagine he left for now. Good. It’ll be easier to pack. Except, I can’t see anything with all the tears running down my face. I don’t want to leave him, I’ll never leave him. But I am so angry. How can he tell me I’m a good person and then deny me his trust like that? He probably meant well, but it hurts. Is my anger justified? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore except that I fucking love him and this hurts way too much. I feel betrayed and out of the loop. I need a moment to catch my breath and heal. I feel guilty for talking to him like that, I hope he doesn’t want to end things because of me. Suddenly I regret it all. But... I am a stubborn, determined jerk, so I will do what I said. That’s what the fuckup does. He fucks it all up. I didn’t miss this guy.

***

Four days have passed and the anger has died down a bit but I still don’t feel good enough to move back in with Levi. I did send him a quick Facebook message, telling him I miss him and I love him. He has seen it but hasn’t replied. Instead, today, when I came back to Mikasa’s lovely couch, which serves as my bed, I found a wrapped present on it. The tiny label said:

**“To: Bright eyes / From: The pepperoni guy”**

I startunwrapping it... but then stop myself. I won’t open it until I feel better. Until I am ready to go back. Because... what if this influences what I feel? What if it makes me angrier? Or too happy when I am not done dealing with the anger I feel? I will wait. I put it aside on the table and lean on the couch, pulling my phone out.

A notification is blinking at the top. Facebook messenger tells me he replied. A heart emoji, just that. And that’s enough. I press my phone hard against my own heart and smile. Things will get better eventually, when I can talk properly with him and not snap. Exams are stressing me out so I will focus on those first. That’s what he’d want anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): NOW, the question is.... what is the gift??? You won't know until chapter 19. I'm looking forward to hear your thoughts. PS: If you draw fanart of the fic, please message me, my tags aren't working fantastically well right now and so my usual tag: extrapepperonifanfic is not tagging? weird... anyways. Message me otherwise I won't see them. I really wanna see Eren sucking a banana okay? Make this an official request. lol...


	18. Veggie burger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): YO! Apparently I managed to post today WOOT! OKAY so first: the title... veggie burger. Because sometimes people get those and don't realize it's veggie. Therefore I refer to it as the burger of lies. XD... It felt appropriate in my mind. ALSO. I promised no more angst and sadness. I lied. They will not break up, let me make this clear. But... a lot of misunderstandings and the ending of chapter 19 will make up for everything you are reading up to there. The ending of chapter 19 is going to be my punch and peak for this fic. Therefore, you don't have long to wait, just a week. It is obviously related to the gift. Most of you think it's a ring. You'd be happy with that wouldn't you? .... I do not want this to end! If you guys bring this to 10k hits, I am legit going to die, do you understand??? lol.... Also I have yet to see a fanart. And I have yet to draw Eren sucking a banana (I definitely will do that). ;)
> 
> Mood song:  
> The Black Keys - Lies  
> Linkin Park - Iridescent

**EREN POV**

I pick up the giftbox again and inspect it, trying to guess what it is. Although all I really want to do now is throw it in the trash. It’s been another week and I have yet to have any news of Levi. He refuses to talk to me and I don’t quite understand why. I was so happy that night when he replied with this simple emoji. Meaning he wasn’t pissed at me and would give me the time I needed. At least that’s what I imagined. Apparently I was wrong. I tried messaging him several times, texting him and calling him even. Nothing. It was to the point where I was wondering if something had happened to him. One day, as I was about to go see if he was alright, Mikasa told me she saw him at a nearby Starbucks. He seemed perfectly fine to her. Then why? Why such a sudden change of mood?

No matter how much I’d been thinking about it, I couldn’t find what else I could’ve done wrong. Perhaps I was taking too long to calm down? I wish he would just understand that I never had the luxury of trusting anyone in my life and the fact that he betrayed my trust so easily, although with good reason, is just something that is hard to swallow. If there is one person I thought I could trust, it was him. I tried shoving my feelings down in my throat but it was just something too big for me. I needed the time to think and bring myself to the reasonable conclusion that Levi did this because it was the right thing to do. I wish it was that simple. That I could just tell myself that it’s that and nothing else. But another part of me, the one that has been betrayed on multiple occasions, the one who suffered at school and during the brief times where he had a dad. It was the fuck up who was holding me back. As much as I’d like for this guy to be gone, he is part of me and in a way, he is my safety net. In this case, though, I am starting to wonder if he isn’t a spiderweb that I am tangling around myself until I suffocate.

I put down the gift and head to my laptop. Knowing him, he must still check his tumblr every day so I might as well type in a few words. An hour later, he still hasn’t replied and I type another one, an angrier one, demanding attention, demanding explanations. Although I’m not in much of a position to demand anything. I’m the one who walked away when I promised I would never. Is he doubting my words? My sincerity? Is this why? The thought makes me gag and even angrier. How could he? How could he make me feel this way when it’s him who acted behind my back?

I slam the laptop shut and head in the bathroom. I need to get ready for school now and also for the two tests I have today.

***

**LEVI POV**

No matter how many times I’ve been turning this upside down in my head, I do not understand why he is reacting this way. The only thing that keeps harassing my thoughts, is that he is looking for a way out now that he knows how fucked up I am. I should’ve known. It’s ironic that once again, I digged my own grave. Something is different this time though, because I feel like a piece of me has shattered and I have no idea how to survive this. It’d be wrong to say I’m even more crushed than when Petra died, but it would be the truth.

I roll to my side and decide against going to work today. I should probably just sleep in since I haven’t slept in the past couple of days. Who am I kidding though? I barely ever sleep in first place. Either way, I cannot deal with people today. I need to recharge my batteries and it seems like I lost the charger. My brain’s in a fog, probably from overthinking and trying to find what was so wrong about what I’ve done. Now I do understand that the kid is angry because I hid it from him, but it was with good intentions only. He should know that I never meant it in a hurtful way. I wanted to protect him, I wanted him to be safe, because I could not handle seeing him hurt again. How can such a tiny lie destroy my entire life. Would I be lying if I admitted that Eren has become the most important thing in it? I wouldn’t. I didn’t even get a chance to tell him how I feel. How I truly feel. If there is one thing I realized in the past couple of drunken nights I’ve had, it’s that I am insanely crazy about him. In a way I never was with anyone before. Which is why I’m crushed to see that he wants to talk to me, but still needs time away, still needs to make sure that the guilt is engraved inside of me once more. And I know, that neither of us is wrong, but I am hurt, deeply hurt and I do not know what else I could tell him. Especially because I am now convinced that he wants out of this.

He got the gift...surely he did. That’s why he wants to talk to me so bad. He wants to give it back. He doesn’t want it. I worked so hard to get this for him. I risked it all. I wanted him to be happy and free and just know that I would never leave so long as he wanted to stay by my side every day. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me, that I would make sure his life would turn out the way he wanted it to and that every single day would look like a blessing to him. If he really loved me, this gift would’ve pleased him and I know, by his messages, that he doesn’t seem excited or even touched by it. I was giving him one of the two biggest pieces of me and if that seemed like a good enough gift, the second part would’ve followed in a year or so. Why? Because I knew that I no longer needed a heart so long as I had his. I discarded the broken parts of me because I found someone to complete the cracks that were left unhealed inside of my soul. Sadly I was wrong, I was so wrong.

***

**EREN POV**

My science test turned out to shit but I guess I can probably get away with it. I’m a bit more nervous about math though. I hate math. Math isn’t for me. Maths are the devil. Especially now that my thoughts fly back to Levi every few seconds I have. He still hasn’t answered me. I am growing angrier by the minute. How is he allowed to be pissed off at me? It’s him, who chose to lie. It’s him, who doesn’t want to reply. What the fuck is his deal? I shrug to myself as I hide my face in my hoodie, waiting for the bell to ring and for this shitty exam to start.

Right on queue, the bell rings. The teacher walks in and gives us all a neatly stapled pile of papers. I am nervous before even turning it around. This is promising. I sigh and wait for her to grant us permission to start. When she does, I flip the page and sign my name in a cursive, yet very unreadable signature. I always wrote like a 5 year old, that’s just how my fingers work.

Fifteen minutes later, I am about to throw the sheets across the room. Or even better...make airplanes with them and disturb everyone. I feel the tears threatening to fall on my cheeks as I clearly have no idea what this question is. It’s a fucking hieroglyph. Fuck it. I’m skipping it.

 

***

Thank god for the multiple choice answers. Those last few ones probably saved my ass. I walk in the cafeteria and pass by Jean. He nods at me and I nod back. It was an unspoken agreement that we wouldn’t try to tear each other to shreds before the end of the school year, which was very VERY soon. We wouldn’t have to see each other again. Weirdly enough, after his silent apology, I felt like I would miss him in a strange way. I feel like he made me stronger and this I am grateful for. Although this doesn’t excuse the fact that he almost killed me multiple times and broke a few bones of mine. Thank god I heal fast, fucking horse face.

 

I step in line, right behind Connie and wait for my turn.

“How have you been Jaeger?” He says.  
“Final exams are actually killing the little sanity I have left.” I snort. “How about you?”  
“I’m great. I decided to ask Sasha to go to Prom with me. Think she’ll accept?” He asks nervously.  
“If she’ll accept?” I laugh, earning a questioning glare. “Of course she’ll accept. You guys came from the same fucking mold. I wouldn’t see either of you with anyone else.”  
“Wow, thanks but...it’s just for prom, calm down.” He stutters.

I wink at him as I shrug, shoving down the pain and thoughts of my own idea of bringing Levi to prom, which was probably no longer happening. Connie pushes my shoulder roughly and smirks as his cheeks cloud with a pink tone.

“Don’t be afraid to tell her it’s more than just prom, idiot.” I say.

He hides his face in his palms before picking up his tray again.

“Fuck you Eren for being right. Fuck you very much.”  
“My pleasure, baldy.”  
“I’M NOT BALD!”  
“Yeah, yeah!” I laugh.

With a smile and a wave he walks away, taking his spot beside Sasha while I find my way back to the loner table. I usually don’t eat or just eat elsewhere, but today, I feel like I have no place to be so I am not going to go outside and freeze my ass in the rain, especially that the threat of Jean following me is gone now.

***

I crush the paper in my hands as tears glide freely down my cheeks. Sasha’s reassuring hand finds my shoulder and I’m grateful to be sitting at the back in French class.

“That bad?” She whispers.

I simply nod, not wanting to show her the actual number. It’s not my fault if I couldn’t get Levi out of my head while we had this test a few days ago. I kept dozing off and dreaming with eyes wide open, leaving me with approximately 20 minutes to finish the 10 pages. I had screwed up, I just didn’t think it was THIS bad. Now if I failed another class, I wouldn’t graduate this year. I found myself thinking of my math test and even worse, the science one. I was fucked.

Once again, the shit hit the fan. Everything was going to hell and it was no one else’s fault but mine. Hope you’re happy fuck up. That’s what you get for trying to get away from this shit life. Yep, now it’s plummeting into a space that isn’t filled with planets, but with thoughts of failure and hopelessness. I wasn’t one to give up easily. I never was, but right now it was pretty fucking hard to think positively. My entire life was crumbling apart and I didn’t even know if my only anchor remained safe. 

I guess I would have to talk to him eventually, but the thought of telling him I failed my French class is something I dreaded. Also, I’m a stubborn idiot who refuses to apologize while I did nothing to him. He’s the one who lied and refuses to talk to me. He can take his gift, whatever it is, and shove it up his ass.

Still, my curiosity was reaching a peak. I guess I really wanted to know what it was. By the size of it, all I was imagining was a book, but it wasn’t heavy enough. Maybe clothes, since he likes to buy me clothes. The weight would be accurate I guess. I really have no idea, but I will remain strong and I will not open it until he talks to me again.

***

“This is Armin Arlert, I am unable to take your call, please leave a message.”

It was the third time today. I couldn’t keep bothering him. I wanted to ask if he could grab a coffee with me after school and maybe enlighten me on what to do. Armin always knew what to do. Armin was the only person I’d ever fully trust, but since he got with Annie, everything went out the window. He was distant and always busy. I guess I understand, if I compare with my own relationship, if I still have one. Perhaps he could’ve given me tips. Although I knew his first advice would be, calm down and breathe, you’re over-reacting. To which I would’ve replied with a lovely finger. He knows that I have these intense mood swings and a very short temper, both worthy of a girl in her PMS, but I can’t help it, it’s just how I am. I usually manage to get around and apologize when I am wrong, but this time I really doubt that I am in the wrong, all I said is that I need space, I never said I needed a fucking breakup or getting ignored. As far as I know, I’ve become even more pissed off at Levi because of his attitude. The point was to calm down and reach back to him in a few days. The days are slowly turning into more than a week and I just don’t know where we stand and what to do. I wish he would fucking answer me and tell me what’s wrong. Then again, maybe his work is bothering him, but that’s no reason not to answer me. Especially when he has time to stop by fucking Starbucks.

“This is Armin Arlert, I am unable to take your call, please leave a message.”

God dammit! Why can’t I talk to anyone. I need help. I need someone! I stare blankly at my phone and send Levi a quick text.

“Listen, I do not know what you think I have done that deserves for me to be ignored in such a way, but right now I’m angrier than I was a few days ago so I suggest you man the fuck up and tell me what’s going on.”

 

***  
**LEVI POV**

I stare at my phone and re-read the message a few times. Trying to find a hidden meaning. Apparently there aren’t any, which leaves me confused. I start typing a reply...

“Nothing is wrong. I am giving you space, like you asked for. The reason I can’t talk to you, is I know I crossed a line I shouldn’t have and that my affection for you has grown so strong that I feel like when I hurt you, I hurt myself. I am sorry. I’d understand if you’d rather this be over. I cannot be angry at you if you break your promise. Do as your mind dictates you. Do what you think is right. I never knew what choices were the right ones. We can never know until we make those choices. Just try and not regret the choice you make. What I know is I have no regrets concerning what we have/had. Also, I am sorry if you didn’t like the gift. I assumed that’s what you would like. Sorry. Just...please know you mean the world to me. Have a good evening, Eren.”

But then I erase it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): I hope you aren't too sad. Like I said, it's only misunderstandings and Eren feels alone. Levi feels on the verge of breaking down again and basically all of this will be fixed with the gift. Just wait. Armin, you ass, pick up your phone.
> 
> Comments are always read/replied to/MUCH APPRECIATED ^_^
> 
> The comments I've had in the past couple of weeks made me confident about my writing and I am just so grateful to you all for that. It makes me think I'll be able to write another one. I have a few plots in mind but I will most probably write a few one shots before jumping into another long term fic. I guess I'll take one shots prompts and requests on tumblr also if there are any. Either way, a BIG thanks to those who take the time to comment and leave me such kind words about my writing, about this story and also about your thoughts about what's next. It's so great to know that what I write is perceived how I want it to be. If I want you to cry, you cry or are sad. If I want you to squeal like a fangirl you squeal. It's just fun to know I can render their thoughts close enough that it makes you FEEL like them and this is the thing that makes me the happiest. I love you all! 
> 
> See you next week for the next pizza slice!


	19. Pepperoni fuck up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Hello everyone! As some of you may know the past week was pretty much hell and I ended up being VERY sick this weekend but I couldn't not write this chapter. I was inspired by this and really I honestly had been waiting so long to write this so I hope you aren't disappointed by this. I received a cute art for Eren sucking a banana (you can look at my tumblr to see that). Also, I'm at 8k...I cannot even believe so many people hit this fic. Either way thanks to you and thanks to those who shared it. Only two chapters left, I'm already sad but I will be writing one shots after that for a while before a start a new long term fic. Hopefully you guys will answer my tumblr prompts asks. Also Levi and Eren's tumblr will remain active after the fic, i'll keep them alive for a while until I get bored so you can ask them things and all. As for next week, maybe the next chapter will be posted tuesday or wednesday but I will try to make it monday ^_^
> 
> Mood song:  
> One Republic - Feel again

**LEVI POV**

Here’s another day, another torture that I got through. Every morning I was hoping he’d show up at my door but he never did. Today was no different. Actually, my evening thoughts were no better and they kept drifting to the door, wondering what would happen if he suddenly walked in. 

As I sit in front of my TV with an Extra Pepperoni pizza, all I can think about is him. Perhaps I like to make myself suffer in such a way. He hasn’t texted me since the other day and I found myself regretting not sending that text message. Maybe it would’ve made the difference. Then again, the gift would have surely earned me some sort of reaction from him, so I guess he didn’t like it. He was offended or disappointed. He might have thought it was too much. He might hate me and think that I do not believe in him enough to let him live his life the way he wants to. I wanted to help. I wanted him to be happy. Aren’t my good intentions always what brings me to the darkest of places? It’s hard...in this life, to think that you have to be right and live by the rules, but to realize that when you do, you always get screwed.

“You naively thought that you found an happy ending. How pathetic?” I tell myself. “Who are you kidding? You may be a clean freak but you’re not god damn Cinderella. You’re no Prince who finally found his long lost love, you’re just a lonely soul who keeps losing pieces of himself as life goes on.”

***

**EREN POV**

“About fucking time!” I yell.  
“Wow, Eren. What’s going on?” Armin asks.  
“Well nothing, just that my entire life is crumbling apart again and I have no one to talk to besides my god damn sister.”  
“I’m sorry.” He says with a guilty tone. “When I’m studying I turn off my phone, you know that.”  
“Studying...yeah sure.” I scoff.

There’s a brief pause and I’m sure Armin’s face would be red if he was in front of me.

“Eren. First, you’re going to calm down because you know I’m not letting you talk to me like that.” He sighs. “Second, I was studying, yes. If you are trying to say that I was with Annie and chose not to answer you, I’ll have you know that I’m not that type of friend.”

I sigh and take a deep audible breath. Perhaps he’s right. Then again, Levi not replying to me is driving me insane. He also hasn’t been posting anything on tumblr or facebook. That’s strange.

“So what is going on?” Armin asks.  
“Are you up for a coffee tomorrow after school? I really need to talk.”  
“Sure. I’ll pick you up around 7, is that okay?”  
“Yes...and Armin...”  
“What?”  
“Thank you.”  
“It’s what friends are for, Eren.”

With the trace of a smile, I hang up and head back to the living room where Mikasa is watching a show about terrible drivers. I sit beside her without a word. I can see that she glances at me.

“What is it?” I ask.

She turns her attention back to the tv, sliding her feet under my blanket and ignoring my question.

“Mikasa...” I add.

She sighs.

“How’s the midget going?”

I chuckle at the word.

“You know...if he heard you say that, he’d probably kill you.  
“He would try and fail, you mean.” She laughs. “So...?”

I raise a hand to the back of my neck and grasp the long strands of hair that remind me I’m definitely due for a haircut. I do not know what to tell her to be honest.

“I don’t know.” I sigh. “He doesn’t reply to me or call back...he’s ignoring me and I don’t know why.”  
“Do you... Nevermind.” She says.  
“No, say it.” I say, turning to face her.  
“Don’t you think it’s you who should fix this? Since...you’re the one who walked away?”  
“As if I’m not trying.” I scoff. “He doesn’t want to talk to me, what else can I say or do?”  
“I meant...moving back with him.” She adds.

I stare at her for a moment. Wondering if I’m the crazy one for thinking this is a stupid idea.

“Why the hell would I move back in if he doesn’t even want to talk to me? What makes you think he still wants this? As far as I’m concerned, I’m not even sure we have a relationship anymore.”  
“Then you’re even dumber than I thought.” She says, slapping the back of my head. “He loves you. Everyone within a mile radius of you two can see how much light you both radiate. It’s disgusting to see but if you’re doubting his feelings about this, I am telling you that you’re the biggest idiot on this planet.”  
“I’m not...I don’t...GAHHHHHHH” I grab a fist of my hair and pull hard on it. “Why is this so fucking complicated?”  
“Open the gift.” Mikasa says, handing me the box as she gets up and walks away.

I look at the box for the 20th time today and try to guess again. Nothing more comes to my mind, obviously. I am tempted to unwrap it for a brief instant, but then I stop myself. Unwrapping it would mean giving in but also it might mean the end of us if it’s not something that would fix things. Even then... putting a temporary solution on problems isn’t the right thing to do. The reality is...we need to talk and I really wish he would answer me because this is turning into something much bigger than I meant for it to be. I’m sad and lost and completely powerless. 

***

Shadis spent about half an hour talking me into College and I tried to tell him that I was going to go eventually but maybe not right now since I wasn’t sure what to do with my life anymore. He seemed worried and the newfound affection I had for him made me want to reassure the old man he was. Sure, he appeared to hate me most of the time, but now I knew it was because he cared and didn’t like to see me screw things up. Sometimes people just don’t know how to approach certain conversations, it seems. Either way, I was thankful for understanding him now.

The day was long and everyone was hyped with prom coming up. It was at the end of the week and all I could hear was people talking about who was going with who and which exams there were left before that. The truth was, mostly all tests had been passed already and surprisingly, the only class I failed was French, which wasn’t a requirement for my diploma. It appears like I would graduate after all. Although it meant literally nothing to me anymore, since I had nothing to lose. In reality, I couldn’t hear one more word about Prom or this new fucking game everyone was talking about with the flying soldiers and I was looking forward to this evening with Armin. I needed to talk to someone desperately and if there was someone level-headed, it was him. He knew what to say, when to say it and mainly he knew how to keep calm and think quick. He was the perfect therapist in a way, which had me wondering why he chose to study archeology instead. Who finds a job as an archeologist anyways? Then again, he’s a top student so if anyone finds a job, it’s always going to be him. As for Annie, she was going to the same College as him, studying Philosophy. Booooring. I still had no idea what I wanted to do. The only things I liked were history and video games. Those jobs aren’t exactly easy to get either. Oh well... I sigh when I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see Jean. I get nervous for a minute, until he serves me one of those smirks that he gives to everyone.

“Good luck with the future Jaeger. Stand up to everything the same way you have with me. I’ll miss you dumbass.”

I try to copy his smirk and fail miserably, earning a chuckle from him.

“I’ll miss you too asshole. Try not to bully too much innocent people.”  
“No promises.”  
“Idiot.”

He nods and waves at me as he walks over to Ymir, trying to bother her again on her tomboy style.

“I’m sure I can beat the titan’s ass better than you.” He says.  
“Perhaps we’ll have to have a match. Give me your gamertag you moron.”

It was no secret they hated each other but also liked each other in a weirdly friendly way.

I push the door of my last history class and smile to myself as I realize this is finally the end and although my life sucked and high school sucked, I did earn some happiness and managed to actually do something right: I’m graduating.

***

Armin pushes a new steaming cup towards me.

“And so you don’t know why he stopped replying?” He asks.  
“No.” I sigh. “And I’m worried.”  
“Did you try going there?”  
“Well I wouldn’t know what to say...” I add. “I wouldn’t want to push my luck and annoy him even more. I tried being nice, I tried being rude, I tried ignoring him. It’s him who’s giving me the silent treatment now and this entire thing was because I was pissed, how is this fair?”

Armin laughs as he picks up the whipped cream with a spoon and eats it.

“Calm down.” He says. “You’ll get angry for no reason. Plus, you mentioned a gift. Did you open it?”  
“No. I do not want to open it until we talk again.”  
“Why?”  
“Because it might influence my decisions?”  
“Come on, I’m sure he didn’t buy you a diamond ring.” He chuckles.

I stare at him half frustrated and half concerned. Armin gapes at me.

“You think he...?” He starts.  
“No!” I say. “Maybe.... I don’t know. He is so extremely out of this world when it comes to emotions, I can never know what he thinks and how he feels. Perhaps? And what if it is that? What am I going to say or do?”

He hands me one of his cookies before letting out a loud sigh.

“Well... if it was that... What would you do?”  
“I...don’t know. We... I love him. But with how things are right now... I... just don’t know. That’s why I’m not opening it. Anyways it’s way too big for that.”  
“The size of the outer box doesn’t mean anything.” He adds.  
“Shut up!” I shout, making some head turns. “Plus, why do you look like you’ve been hit by a fucking train? Have you even slept for the past few days?”  
“I haven’t had a lot of sleep, indeed. Studying but also this god damn addictive game.”  
“Game?”  
“Yeah, you should come over to play. It’s really cool, you’re like soldiers and...”  
“Not this again.” I say, face palming myself.  
“You played?”  
“No but everyone is talking about it...”  
“Well it’s worth a shot. You’re soldiers fighting for humanity’s freedom against the titans. Like you have these cool blades and these hooks that can basically make you fly around in the city to fight these big giants who eat people alive.”

I stare at him blankly as everything falls into place. Levi has been really tired lately, getting shit at work and trying to make things work and... could this?

“What company is this?” I ask. “Who made this game?”  
“Raven undergrounds I think, why?” Armin says.

I get up and struggle to get my backpack on my shoulder.

“See you later Armin!” I shout from the door.

I hear a faint “Eren!” from behind me but don’t stop as I run back to Mikasa’s apartment.

 

***

I climb the set of stairs two by two and fumble with my keys to open the god damn door. When I finally manage, I barge in and throw my backpack in the entrance, rushing to the living room. The gift isn’t there. What? The gift isn’t there?

I rush to Mikasa’s bedroom and see that she’s not there.

“Mikasa?” I shout. “Mikasa, where are you? I need the gift!”

No answer. I walk to the bathroom, in the living room and the kitchen... The gift is nowhere to be seen. When I turn around to get my phone from my backpack, my gaze finds a sparkling gift on the table. She must have moved it when she cleaned the apartment, leaving it in plain sight for me to be even more tempted to open it. Relief fills me as I walk up to the box. I pick it up carefully and notice that Mikasa re-did the bow on it. I smile and then walk back to the couch.

The silky ribbon feels weird and wet against my fingers, like it was made out of tears. Or perhaps it was my own tears falling on it, who knows? I pull and let the bow fall on my knees as I carefully slide a finger into one of the corners of the wrapping paper. I start pulling gently and then pause.

“If...this is what I think it is... I’ll have to make it up to him for an entire lifetime. I was such an ass to you Levi.”

I sigh as tears stream down my face and pull a bit more roughly on the paper. It falls to the floor between my feet. All that remains is a box. All I have to do is take off the lid and I will see. I take a deep breath and slowly take off the top.

White...everything is white. It’s wrapped in silk paper. I am tempted to curse loudly at Levi’s attention to details but instead, I place the box beside me and unwrap what seems to be a DVD. 

I drop it to the floor as soon as I see it. My eyes fill with tears and I cannot process what’s going on. I let out a loud whine as I pick it up again with shaking hands. A post-it is resting on top of the cover with a neat and clean writing on it.

**“I’ll always find my way back to you, whether we’re Eren and Levi or Humanity’s last hope and Humanity’s strongest. Because we are destined to be together no matter when and where. – Levi”**

With a lump in my throat that I desperately try to shove down, I pull off the post it and see the beautiful cover art of the game. A huge wall with a titan staring over it, the fine letters that spell “Attack on titan” but most of all, the two soldiers in the front, back to back, holding swords with the most badass of all expressions. Clearly they look like us, not enough to be considered us, but a few of the details are quite unmistakable, especially our hair. My gaze glides down and my fingers slide over the golden words underneath both of the characters. “Humanity’s strongest” is the black haired man. “Humanity’s last hope” is the brown mop of hair that looks just like me. I pull the game closer to me and hold it near my heart as I cry my eyeballs out. 

“I have to talk to him.” I say.

I pick up the box, ready to throw it away when I realize it’s still heavy. I frown as I pick up what’s inside. It’s an envelope, which has another post-it on it.

**“Perhaps you should play the entire game and be careful to look at the credits before you open this enveloppe. – Levi”**

Curiosity was killing me, but right away, I pulled the PS4 controller out of the drawer and inserted the disc in. Did I have any tests in the next two days? No. Good. 

As the starting credits rolled in, clearly stating it was made by Raven Undergrounds and the intro to the game started, I couldn’t help but wonder if Levi bought Mikasa a PS4 especially for this reason. Then again, he couldn’t know I would move back here. Perhaps he thought it would be safer to be sure I would be able to open this wherever I was. God I love this man. I wanna call him. I want to hug him. I wanna run to him. But first, I want to know what is in this envelope, knowing that my apologies, whatever they may be, will never be good enough to make up for this already.

***

It’s two days later after dinner, when I finally manage to open that basement and earn humanity’s freedom, that I am waiting for the little talk between soldiers to be over so that the credits will start playing. I’m still excited and completely baffled by how fucking amazing this game is. It seems like it’s taking forever for the conversations to stop but in reality it only takes about two minutes. I’m glad that Mikasa hasn’t been here much because she would be angry at me skipping school over a game. 

“Raven Undergrounds.” I read out loud as it appears and the credits follow along with characters. 

A series of names flash on screen, which I have no idea who they are. I read them anyways, not wanting to miss anything when suddenly this shows up:

**Project Manager: Levi Ackerman**

I squeal, now knowing that he is the one responsible for the game and didn’t simply throw the idea around until someone deemed it worthy, he pushed it forward, he took care of it. He made it real, for me.

I’m about to get up when another name flashes. I fall from the couch.

**Lead Designer: Eren Jaeger**

What? There must have been a mistake. Yes I gave the idea, so perhaps I expected a thank you or something cute along those lines, but not this. I didn’t do anything, it’s unfair to those who worked on it. It’s... it’s way too much.

I sit back on the couch and pick the envelope from the table. I open it quickly and pull out a bunch of papers. The cover page is Raven Undergrounds’ logo. I turn the page and my heart stops.

“N-New... New... New employee guide.”

I glance back at the TV and then look back at the sheet, sure that my eyes are playing tricks on me.

“Job description: Lead designer. T-Tasks... S-Salary.”

I dig a bit further down and find an online college inscription that has my name on it and is...already paid for.

I place the envelope and all the papers back on the table and take a deep breath. In fact I can’t breathe. I fall to the floor as I feel my chest tighten. It’s... it’s too much. I breathe quickly and cannot stop myself until finally, whines escape my mouth and I am crying all the tears that my body contain. I can’t believe I was such an idiot. How could I be so selfish, so stupid, so careless? My... My Levi. What have I done?

I sit up straight and crawl to my back pack, searching for my phone. I consider calling Levi but then realize that he must think I hate him and simply calling him won’t change the fact that he’s not going to answer me. My finger slides up the contacts names until it finds a familiar A. I click and wait.

Three calls later I manage to get a hold of him.

“Armin! You still on student council? Can you get me two tickets to prom? I didn’t think I was going.”  
“You are?” He asks.  
“Yes. And I need help for my date.”  
“Sure, I’ll help. What do I have to do?”  
“Meet you at Starbucks in 10.”  
“Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): I need comments. I need to know what u thought. Please. ♥


	20. Cherry on top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Ok that's it... I'm crying. Yes we do have one chapter left which will be the epilogue (some time later) that'll be posted next week But this is officially the end of the current timeline and I so do not want this to end. Alas, all good things must come to an end, doesn't it? My heart hurts from the good feels but also from how I am going to miss this story. I will get more into details with my thanks in the next chapter but if you choose to leave me here. I wanna thank you! Also if you like this fic, please share it! If you do, let me know so I can thank you and send you virtual hugs! I will keep both tumblr blogs alive and I will reblog every fanart there is, if there are ever any made of this. Just tag : extrapepperonifanfic. Also my tumblr: hikarimitsuko.tumblr.com I will soon take one shots requests and might do a few. I love you all, see you next week. I hope this'll be what you hoped for.
> 
> Mood songs:  
> Alesso ft. One republic - If I loose myself  
> (also reminder of a song from a previous chapter... The saint-John's. You'll see)

**LEVI POV**

Sleep has been my main concern recently. I called in sick several times and had to start considering seeing a doctor to prove I’m unable to work. Then again, I no longer care about this job. My only goal, was to keep this company afloat while trying to build a life of my own, making sure to prove myself to the bright eyes that dared to look at me as if I was some sort of precious masterpiece. I tried and perhaps I tried too hard. I knew I would smother him, I knew I wasn’t able to control myself when it came to those feelings that I took so long to admit to myself. Now that I actually lost him, I knew how much more real they were. The hole in my chest was proof enough.

Another day and I stare at the blinking numbers from the nightstand. I have given up checking my phone, knowing no messages would be waiting for me in the morning except several ones from my assistant, wondering where the fuck I am. The curtains have been closed for I don’t even remember how long and I feel like the next time I’ll see any sort of bright light, my pale lifeless eyes will burn and melt from the view. Might as well stay in and fall asleep. I’ve never been much of a sleeper. I was actually the opposite; a very skilled insomniac. Eren had helped me to catch up with a regular routine and now that he wasn’t there, my body decided that falling in a coma would be the greatest idea. Vengeance perhaps? He fell in a coma, why can I not? Childish reasoning? Indeed. Who cares? I have always been selfish so why change now? Selfish enough that I acted without asking him for his opinion, selfish enough that I thought he couldn’t handle the truth or be man enough to accept that he needed help. In fact, I was the one who needed to see that although he was a kid, he would always be stronger than I would ever be. Maybe not physically, but nothing could even compare to his level of determination and faith, not even me. I failed.

I roll to my side and bury my face in the pillow, growling once more as I try to fall back into the numbness of my dreams. But of course, life hates me and decides that it’s a good plan to send someone at my fucking door. I ignore the bell, hoping that whatever it is will go away. It’s not Eren, I know it’s not, so nothing else requires any attention from me, whatever it may be. Another ring of the bell and I place my pillow over my head, grunting. There’s a slight pause, giving me false hope before the bell starts ringing nonstop.

“YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT!” I shout as I quickly stand up to my feet.

I rush down the stairs, not caring that I look like a homeless and unshaved old man. I slam the door open, ready to throw a punch straight at the god damn vacuum seller or whatever he was but thankfully, I stop myself just in time when I see the blond coconut bowl cut in front of me.

“Armin?” I ask, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

He stares up and down at me as he tries not to let it show on his face how crappy I look. Perhaps he didn’t expect me to look the same way I feel.

“You... you have to come with me, it’s urgent but you need to shower and shave first.” He says, still staring at the trace of a beard on my face.

I slide my palm on my cheek, realizing just how long it’s gotten since last week.

“I... What’s going on Armin?” I ask.  
“I can’t tell you but it’s really bad, you need to come with me right now. Go shower and shave.”  
“Did something happen to Eren?” I ask with redness in the eye and an unsteady heartbeat.  
“Yes.”  
“We’re leaving now.” I say, grabbing the first coat I see.  
“NO!” Armin shouts, placing himself between the door and me.  
“Fuck off, Armin. If something happened to Eren, we are leaving right fucking now!”  
“Not until you shower and shave.” He says with what he thinks is a menacing look.

I glare at him and grab his arm, twisting it in a way anyone would probably fall to the floor. But not Armin. Armin is a calculative little shit who knows how to fight but doesn’t want to. My twisting of his arm only results in his entire body pivoting into kicking position, suddenly making my legs give up under me as a strong force hits the back of my knees. I fall and instantly try to get back up, but his other arm is now twisting my own.

“Is this supposed to be some sort of sick lesson?” I growl. “You came to tell me he’s hurt and you are not letting me go see him? To hurt me? As in a vengeance for hurting your friend?”

Armin shakes his head and let’s go of me. I get back up and cross my arms, trying to look taller, stronger and more mature than him. Although right now, the mature grown up adult certainly isn’t me.

“Listen to me.” Armin says. “I will not take you to him until you shower and shave. He wouldn’t want to see you this way and it’s a sight I will never forget. Now should you go and do as I say or should I call Hanji? I am pretty sure she won’t take your shit and will be annoyed to be called in the middle of the afternoon for such a lame thing as you being a cry baby.”

I gape at him, wondering when he became so persuasive and trying to avoid the anger rising in me. Eren. I remind myself that Eren is what matters.

“Cursing doesn’t sound good for you.” I say, debating if I should listen or just go and try calling Eren or Mikasa. “So you’ll take me to him if I do this?”  
“Yes.” Armin says. “If you do it properly, I will.”  
“What, are you going to look if my ass is wiped correctly or something?” I scoff.  
“Just look presentable and stop being an asshole to me.” Armin says, rolling his eyes and looking at his watch, clearly annoyed at this waste of time.  
“Fine.” I sigh. “Wait here.”

***

As I climb in Armin’s car, I can only appreciate how clean and perfectly organized everything is compared to Eren’s. I guess we have more in common than I imagined. Armin climbs in and I would be lying if I’m not nervous about where we are going. He still refuses to tell me until we actually get there. 

As he drives, I try and distract myself by looking at what types of cars we’re passing by but it gets boring so I instead try to analyze Armin. He is dressed casually but his hair seems particularly well placed. He even...he smells like cologne. He also has a much nicer watch than what should be worn casually and I can’t shake the thought that something is off. I look at the back seat and see a pizzeria hat, just like the one Eren had worn when I first met him.

“You’re doing the deliveries now?” I ask.

It takes him a second to understand that I’m referring to the hat and then a grin spreads wide on his face as if he was hoping I’d ask.

“No... That’s Eren’s hat. He must have left it there a while ago.”

Once again, I try to read his mind but he has a thick skull. I turn around and look at the hat again.

“May I?” I ask.  
“Sure.”

I pick it up and stare at it. Eren’s name is written on the inside with a black marker pen. The hat is, indeed, worn out and in normal times I would be disgusted by the fact that it’s clearly never been washed... but because it’s Eren, it’s different. I’m different. I clutch it tight against me, trying not to let it show that I want to hold on to it as if it was Eren himself.

Eventually, Armin turns on a familiar street and my heart starts racing as I realize where we’re heading.

“You said he wasn’t hurt!” I shout, staring at the Hospital doors opening and closing as people make their way in and out.

He barely has time to stop and drop me off that I am already climbing out, clutching the hat even tighter.

“Sorry, Levi.” Armin says as I run inside.

My heart feels like it’s running on something even more powerful than adrenaline. Please, I hope it’s not too late. It better not be too late. I find the information desk and meet the same lady I met a while back. She, again, stares at me as if I was lost and unworthy of her attention.

“Eren Jaeger. I need to see Eren Jaeger.”

She goes through a pile of papers and finally finds one, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips and I want to smack her head on the desk. She scribbles a number on a piece of paper and I quickly rush in the elevator. I’m bouncing from one feet to the other as I wait for the doors to open. When they do, I come out of it at the speed of lightning, my heart racing as I think of everything that could’ve happened to him, of everything I never told him, of everything I can’t live without. A single tear falls from my eye and briefly glides down my cheek before the wind of my fast pace catches it and carries it away. No. He will be fine. He is fine. He has to be fine. I can’t lose him. I need to fight for him.

I locate the number and halt immediately. The...room seems familiar. The whole floor seems familiar. I curse at myself for even talking about coma earlier today. I curse at myself for not being careful enough with Eren, for not caring enough, for not being brave enough to tell him everything I should have. Who knows if he’ll ever wake up from a second coma? I cannot... How did this happen? It better not be Erwin or Jean or I will kill them. Whatever it is that keeps taking the single important thing I have away from me deserves to be buried alive. 

I nervously push the door as I hold my breath, unprepared for the sight unraveling before my eyes. I stop walking as soon as the door closes behind me. Of all the things I was expecting, this wasn’t one of it. The bed is empty, except for a tiny box. The gift box I gave to Eren. He’s giving it back. He’s ending us. I grab the bed sheets and let out a whine that I can no longer keep in as the lump down my throat suddenly makes its way out of me in an agonizing sound. I slide to my knees when suddenly something startles me. Sound. Melody. Music. I stand up, quickly looking around when I notice the radio started playing on its own at a VERY very particular part of a piece.

**And I haven't heard your voice yet**   
**But I want to so bad**   
**And I'm not ready for this**   
**But I won't let you give it up just yet**   
**Yet**

**Maybe your head is not where your heart is**   
**I'll sleep alone tonight**   
**And if our bones can stand to be apart**   
**Then I'll leave it your head and your heart**

I blink a few times, wondering what this means but clearly remembering where this comes from. I turn around and look at the box once more. It has a post-it on it.

**“Open me.”**

I do as it says and am surprised to find something else than the gift I gave to Eren. In fact, it seems to be a gift for me and during a brief instant, I feel entirely lost as to what is going on. I pull out the first thing, which is a white piece of material that I can’t find a good use for. Then I pull the second thing; a necklace on which a worn out golden key hangs loosely. I stare at it for a moment and try to find what these two things mean or have in common, but I really can’t think of anything. That’s when I see another post-it at the bottom of the box. I pick it up and instantly realize it’s Eren’s writing. Eren’s SHITTY writing. I press it on my heart before actually reading the words.

**“This is the key of all my nightmares from the past and if I have to live in a golden cage for the rest of my life, I will gladly agree to it so long as you’re the holder of that key. I want you to be my freedom and my home. – E.”**

I get to my feet as I lift up the key to my eye level, walking backwards as my breathing accelerates. My back hits the wall as I can’t seem to get enough air in my lungs anymore. My legs are weak and I slide to the floor, still staring at the key that is a symbol of what was the worst part of Eren’s life and he is asking me to make sure it’ll never happen again. He is asking me to be the one who cares enough to know what is right or wrong. He is asking me to care for him. He is...trusting me. He’s given me his past the same way I have given him mine. He’s giving himself to me entirely.

I cry. I don’t even know for how long... All I know is the lyrics of the song and the words of that particular post it, which I intend to frame and put on my god damn wall, where it belongs, are the only things in my mind until a click echoes in the room.

I lift my gaze and find Hanji coming out of the bathroom with a huge grin on her face.

“Shit glasses! How long have you been here?” I ask, quickly standing up and wiping my face.

Her hands stop me as her eyes scream that this is beautiful, that this is okay, that I am allowed to feel. And I do the single thing I never do, I let myself fall in her arms and bury my face in her shoulder as I let it all out. She rubs my back and holds me tight, knowing I’ve needed such a hug for a long time and was never ready to accept one, but I have changed. I am still me, but I am a better me. I am a better man and I want this life. I want to live and breathe freely. I want to lose myself in those words and mainly in those green eyes that I’ve been missing too long. I refuse to spend one more minute without this man by my side.   
I pull away from Hanji and she grabs my shoulders to rub them again. I smirk.

“Are you wearing a fucking dress?” I ask.  
“Shut up. I am allowed to wear dresses when there is something to celebrate.”  
“And what would that be?” I ask, a bit worried.

She goes in the bathroom and comes back a moment later with a tall bag on a hanger. I see the shape on the inside and know that I am probably going to be asked to get changed again. Then, she walks to the gift box and grabs the white material before turning to me.

“Come on, lovesick old man, put on a cravat, we’re going to Prom.”

***

I, of course, never expected a limousine. I also never expected a truck limousine, which apparently was Hanji’s only condition for helping them pulling this off. She told me how Eren rolled his eyes at her because he knew I would hate the gesture. In fact, I do, but I am quite pleased by the interior of the atrocious thing. It’s leathery, comfortable, filled with club lights that I like more than I’m willing to admit, but mainly, it has alcohol, which I’m gladly taking advantage of as Hanji keeps talking the entire ride there.

Once the vehicle is brought to a halt, I get very nervous all of a sudden, knowing Eren is probably waiting for me outside the door. I straighten myself up and glance in the mirror one last time before the driver opens the door for us. I climb out and glance around. Eren is nowhere in sight and my heart sinks in my chest. I turn back to Hanji.

“So I guess you’re dumping me like Arlert?”  
“Me?” She laughs. “What kind of date would I be, leaving you alone at your Prom?”  
“But....” I start but she cuts me off.  
“Shhh.”

Without another word, I let her tug my sleeve towards the inside of the building. We walk past several couples of horny teens visibly anticipating their first time or trying to make it pass for their first time. Either way, I wish I would see more dance and less tongue. Also, what happened to long classy dresses? I did not want to see a butt cheek just now.

I shake my head and Hanji laughs at me, knowing I’m not so good with people in general and that I am probably very uncomfortable right now. I pause, shoving her hand away and crossing my arms.

“Hanji, where is Eren?” I ask, tired of this game.  
“He’ll come later.” She says.

Although the response is not one that pleases me, I know they all have something in mind and I’m the only one in the dark about it, which makes my aura a bit darker and my frown a bit deeper. I follow my so called friend to our table and notice that Annie is sitting there already. I nod at her and she nods back. While we sit, Armin arrives with two drinks, one for Annie and one for him. I do hope someone spiked the punch because I am needing some mental support from alcohol right now. I stare angrily at Armin but he smiles and shrugs.

“You’re an ass.” I say with the most serious face I have.  
“Well...” He laughs. “It’s Eren’s idea, so technically he’s the ass. I’ve only been helping him out and had to go grab my beautiful date afterwards.”

The look he gives Annie is sickening. It makes me jealous in all kinds of ways because I want to look at Eren like this and he isn’t here. Why do all of this and then disappear? I sigh and wait, watching the kids dance as the very lame DJ puts too many 80s songs. My stomach growls and I know it’s getting late. I haven’t eaten all day and the stress makes me even dizzier. A guy named Connie eventually arrives with his date Sasha and they sit with us, barely having time to greet us that Sasha is already eating each of our bread pieces. I don’t care, quite frankly. All I’m wondering is, why is this taking so long? I look at Hanji, searching her eyes for a clue or reassurement, but all I get is a lousy smile, anticipating something. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Fuck you shit glasses, fuck you Ass-lert, fuck you bread-eating monster, fuck you Eren and your need for grand gestures.

And of course I don’t mean it, but it passes the time to be angry. Although a slight smirk appears on my face until suddenly everything become white. I grab my chair and blink a few times, realizing a spotlight is shining right over my head. I glance around and notice that I’m the only one facing such a cruel fate. They couldn’t install it elsewhere? I sigh and turn to look at Hanji. She smiles. My gaze slides to Armin and he mirrors Hanji’s expression. What...the...fu-

“Hum hum.” Someone says at the microphone, making all heads turn as the music stops playing.

I blink frantically and sit a bit straighter when I realize Eren is standing there on stage, holding something, looking directly at me.

“I...I am Eren Jaeger.” He says a bit shyly, hoping the little whispers will finally shut up.

If they won’t shut up, I fucking will make them. I stare at Eren, hoping my expression is unreadable, that it doesn’t show how much my heart is ready to bounce out of my chest, how much I have to concentrate not to get up and run to bruise his lips with mine in a crushing embrace. I stare and wait, hoping this won’t last too long but curious enough to keep calm.

“I haven’t talked to many of you in high school. I haven’t been popular. I haven’t been the nicest of guys, neither have I been the easiest person to approach. I always thought that dealing on my own would be the best way not to get those around me hurt. I always thought that having something to care for would mean you’d have something to lose, would mean that someone else might have leverage over you. I always thought I didn’t want to be weak, I didn’t want help nor did I need it because I was determined to fight this bitch of a life. High school is now over and we’re all moving on to our new lives. We all are going to aim for what we want, what we think we deserve but mainly, what we would like our future to look like. We are starting to build our future selves today and I know most of you have already taken the first step, like College or Traveling or even other things, I know most of you will also succeed. Like I said, I never believed in myself, but I believed in my will. I never thought I’d be a good person, a good student, a good employee, a good lover, a good me. I only knew I’d keep fighting and try not to regret my choices although life was harder on me than on some other people. I fought. I fought until one day I couldn’t. I had been reduced to the sole thought that life wasn’t worth fighting for. I was nearing that point for a while, I just didn’t know.”

The lump in my throat is so painful that I can barely look at Eren as he climbs off the stage and carries the microphone with him, slowly walking through the dancefloor and towards our table that is right beside it. I stare at him, not knowing if I’m sitting or standing up and quite frankly not caring as our gazes meet.

“Then, one particularly shitty night, faith, destiny or whatever you call it, placed another fighter on my path. At first I wanted to fight him, to hate him. I didn’t know why I had to deal with someone as bad, as stubborn as I was. And then I started getting to know him. Maybe even liking his company. Until finally life decided that it was being too good with me. It tried to shut me out, to kill me, to make me suffer, but I woke up. And I didn’t wake up alone. I woke up to this other fighter waiting for me. This other fighter who was slowly and unconsciously bringing me the strength I no longer had. That’s when I started realizing that maybe we had to fight together. That’s when I started to realize I wanted to fight with him too because he clearly had unresolved battles of his own. I fought. I even fought him, but I succeeded.”

Eren’s smile is wide and genuine, as genuine as the tears falling freely from my face. Eren is now near enough for people to notice the spotlight above my head. The fact that I am on display, the fact that Eren is talking about someone and walking towards someone at the same time, the fact that those two are probably the same. Suddenly, all I see is him and everyone else disappears as he continues.

“We saved each other in ways no one could ever understand. I made a choice back then, to never leave his side. But then, life threw more things at me and as we were fighting together, the other fighter decided to fight my battles on his own, trying to spare me from what awful things this world has to offer. The fighter did what he thought was right, and he was. I know that now. I also know that below the surface, the fighter has more thoughts and emotions than anyone will ever know. I know because he changed my life without me even knowing about it. He offered me a freedom I’ve been dreaming of on a golden platter and so I decided to give him the key of my freedom in return, because I trust him. I trust our hearts, beating in unison as we fight whatever this world will throw at us. I want us to fight together for as long as we shall. I want to save him every day the same way he has saved me every day since I met him. Every day since I had to deliver...”

He hands me out a box, a box from the Pizzeria.

“An Extra Pepperoni pizza to a soul that was as lost and broken as mine that I never thought I would fall so deeply in love with.”

Eren puts the microphone on the table. The entire ballroom is silent looking at the both of us. I place the box on the table and take a step forward. Eren is still towering over me and I decide to do something I never would’ve done before. I slide one arm around his waist as I climb on Eren’s toes to raise myself up and pull his head forward. Our eyes never close as I kiss not only the man I love, but the soul of the kindest person I’ve known, the soul of my little fighter, my little savior.

It’s when I pull away from him that the bubble bursts and I suddenly hear all the cheers and notice how everyone is standing up applauding us, even this horse faced guy. I hide my face in Eren’s shoulder before I pull back and stare into his eyes. The wide grin on his face and the light that shines just for me are enough to make me brave. I pull away and grab the microphone, staring deep into the green orbs in front of me.

“I love you, Eren Jaeger and am willing to fight every battle there is to fight at your side because this life isn’t worth living without you in it. I LOVE YOU.”

I drop the microphone on the floor and throw myself in his arms again as our lips join once more... until someone tugs on my sleeve. I shoot an angry glare at Hanji when I realize everyone is screaming at us to go dance. I turn my gaze back to Eren and he smiles with this cocky smile that I’ve grown more than fond of.

“Mr Pepperoni, May I have this dance?” He chuckles.  
“Yes, my one and only fuck up, you may.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): See you next week for the last slice of Pizza!
> 
> *cries forever*
> 
> Comments are always read/replied to/much appreciated ♥


	21. Extra Cheese

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): YO!!!! So I added a little post-prom scene at the start just for fun and then follows the epilogue. I will wait until the notes at the end of the chapter to cry my eyeballs out. Let’s share the last pizza slice, shall we?
> 
> Mood song:  
> The Fray – Never say never  
> (this song is extremely important to me and i’ll explain why at the end)

**EREN POV**

Knowing Levi, I sort of assumed he’d ask for explanations or at least be angry about the Hospital bit, but what better place than the first one where he showed some sort of feelings towards me? That’s what I would’ve replied if he had asked. He didn’t though. Instead, I find myself pinned to the wall by a much smaller man. I could be ashamed about the noises coming out of my mouth but I don’t give a crap. I paid for this hotel room and I was happy, as we waved to our friends earlier, that Levi leaned closer to whisper me one simple thing.

“This better lead to a hotel room.”

And I didn’t disappoint, obviously. I guess I know by how he’s groping my butt while sucking the soft skin of my neck so hard that it’ll probably bruise in a few seconds. He can mark me, bite me, I really don’t care because we have gotten through a lot of shit and it feels like he finally got it; I am not leaving, I’m his.

“I love you.” I pant.

He pauses and pulls his head away from my neck. I meet a scowl that is simply a natural look for him that I’ve grown to love more every day. Then, slowly, his cheeks brighten with a pink tone and he smiles.

“And I love you more than I’ve ever loved and it’s fucking scary.”

My heart skips a beat and I wonder what to even reply but then the answer comes to me as if I wasn’t even searching for one.

“We’re fighters, remember? Whatever you’re afraid of; we’ll fight it and get through it together.”  
“I mean that I can’t lose you.” He says, pressing his thumb on my bottom lip.  
“And I can’t lose you either.” I say and then smile. “Plus, a pizza without pepperoni tastes like shit, so I won’t let my pepperoni get away, even if I have to pay extra.”  
“Are you going to get over the pepperoni thing some day?” He laughs.  
“Probably not.” I shrug.  
“Idiot.” He smirks.  
“Your idiot though.”

He nods before slowly leaning in and resuming our previous activities.

Fifteen minutes later, my legs are spread open under Levi’s carnal gaze. He licks his lips and I’m as nervous as I was the first time I let him see me. Maybe because it’s the first time we actually have nothing hanging over our heads. Maybe also because of the three little words that we both said without an ounce of hesitation. Maybe because I feel like I finally broke his shell open. Maybe it’s because he’s finally, entirely, deeply, forever, mine. Then again, forever remains a strong word, but perhaps we’ll fix that some day.

***

**TWO YEARS LATER**

“Eren fucking Jaeger!” Someone screams from the corridor.  
“W-What?” I say, quickly standing up from behind my desk as my gaze follows Levi on the other side of the glass wall.  
“What the fuck is this?” He says, throwing me a pile of paper as he walks in.

My fists clench and I glare at him, as offended as I can be.

“Could you be more rude?” I say a little louder than needed.

The people in their cubicles from outside my office are pretending to work as they glance at us.

“I’ll be rude if I fucking want to. This is my company. What is this phone app? WHY.THE.HELL.WOULD.YOU.MAKE.A.PIZZA.APP?  
“Have you ever played burger shop?” I ask, deciding to ignore his asshole mood.  
“No.”  
“Then perhaps you should give my app a chance.”  
“It’s plain stupid.”  
“Maybe, but addictive and it has already made a lot of profit. Have you looked at the numbers before coming to scream at me?”

He folds his arms and I know right away that I won this argument. I also know, by the light in his eyes that his only thought right now is to bend me over my desk and make me pay for it. It’s not like we did that before...when everyone was gone...and almost got caught by a janitor. We definitely didn’t do that. I smirk and bite my bottom lip, knowing the effect it has on him.

“I didn’t make you study so hard to create such lame apps.” He tries to argue.  
“Did you say something? I didn’t hear you over the sounds of the 3 million download.”  
“Fuck you Eren.” He sighs as he walks out of the room.

I’ll definitely pay for this later. I smile as I sit back at my desk and notice a pop up on my computer screen.

**Levi: I am not angry about the app. I’m angry because Pizza is our thing.**

I sigh. Knowing it had something to do with that, but also knowing that what I have in mind will make up for this.

**Eren: I know, that’s why I called it Extra Pepperoni. I made it so it meant something to you. Clearly I was wrong. Have you played the game? Because I’ve put something special on level 20. You should be able to reach it by the end of today right?**   
**Levi: I’m not playing this game.**   
**Eren: Then you won’t know what it means.**   
**Levi: I hate your guts.**   
**Eren: I have videos at home that proves you don’t.**   
**Levi: Fine...I’ll play your shitty game, but you’ll still pay for going behind my back and putting my company’s name on such a shit app.**   
**Eren: *shit and with 3 million downloads.**   
**Levi left the conversation.**

I smile and pick up my stuff before clocking out. As I climb in the elevator, I see Jean and can’t help but snort.

“What is it, Eren?” He asks with a shit eating grin.  
“Nothing. Just can’t believe you’d work for him. Just can’t believe he’d hire you of all people.”  
“And you think I don’t know you asked him to hire me, saying I was a great lawyer and all, when you knew strictly nothing about my academic path?”

I shrug and smirk as I walk out of the elevator to meet Hanji and Armin who are already waiting for me. I hug them and then notice Mikasa slowly coming along with Annie.

“Thank you guys for coming.” I say.  
“I’m still not sure about this.” Mikasa mumbles while hugging me.  
“But I am.” I reply sternly.

We walk out the doors and cover ourselves with our winter hats and gloves. My coat seems a bit too thin suddenly. I’m shivering but I suspect it’s not only because of the cold. We walk in silence until Hanji puts her hand on my shoulder.

“You know, there’s no need to be nervous.”  
“Easy to say.” I scoff.  
“He loves you.”

And somehow these words are enough to bring a smile back on my lips. Whatever happens, whatever he says, i’ll go with it. I’ll never leave. I’ll fight.

***

**LEVI POV**

After 30 times of repeating level 19, I finally reach level 20. I’m excited but scared that it’ll take more tries this time. I hate this game and love it at the same time. Incredibly addictive, just like he said, but to be honest it’s late and the only reason keeping me running is coffee and the shitty curiosity he forced upon me. What the hell did he do to level 20. I swear to god if he put my face on a fucking pizza I will dismember him.

The level starts and it’s filled with angry customers and a very low level and shitty cashier trying to make the fries and pizza at the same time as serving salad to the weird vegans who decided to go to a fucking pizza shop. I’m stressed and I can feel my balls shrinking in my pants by how constipated I must look right now. I definitely hate this game and my thumbs have never hurt this much in my entire life and believe me... I have played many many games. I sigh as I see the red light flash, assuming I failed. But then, the scoreboard shows that I passed with one little point that made the difference. I throw my hands in the air and shout a loud “Yes.”, earning a weird look from the janitor. The janitor? Fuck it’s already this late? I look back at my phone and wait. It looks like it’s capped at level 20 and I shake it just because of how annoyed I am. That’s when a new Level appears. Bonus is what’s written over it. I click and wait for the message.

**“Christmas is a special day, but Christmas eve is even better for a very specific reason that lies somewhere in town, under the biggest Christmas tree.”**

“What the fuck?” I say to myself.

I sigh and slowly put my coat on, knowing it couldn’t have been this easy and wondering if everyone who reached level 20 went to search for something under a fucking Christmas tree. That’s the stupidest thing Eren ever did. Then again, he knows how curious I am even if I will never admit it. 

Once I cross the door, I zip my coat and instantly regret that I didn’t wear a hat today. It’s snowing and I can already feel my ears burning. Great. Fantastic. Fucking moron.

I pause and look at my phone. Sadly it has no further indications. So...the two biggest Christmas trees are from a walking distance of here... hum... One of them is at the mall I’m pretty sure and the other one is... besides the outdoor skating rink, where the Christmas market is. If anything, Eren doesn’t like to make things easy so I immediately opt for the skating rink tree.

I curse as I make my way there, filling my boots with snow but also turning my hair to a big wet mess on my way. When I start seeing the tree and all the lights hanging over the Christmas market as a few people decide to take home some last minute presents, I realize just how beautiful it is under the snow. The shimmering lights that seem to reflect everywhere around. The skating rink filled with giggles from children falling and getting up again as they chase each other around. The faint Christmas music coming from the tiny speakers already covered in snow. The smell of coffee, cinnamon and cookies coming from the Christmas market. It’s as magical as Christmas will ever get.   
The bigass tree towers over a pile of fake huge present boxes as a snowman watches with a huge smile and a half eaten carrot nose. Damn kids and their stupid ideas. 

I reach the tree and glance around. On my left there’s a corridor of little kiosk selling crafty things and on my right there’s a huge pile of fake gift boxes. I’m standing in the middle of the tiny spot where a Santa Claus probably sat all days for the past month. The circle of tree, gift boxes, and huge Victorian chair makes me feel on display and I kind of realize that the lights hanging over my head accentuates the idea.   
People pass by and stare at me, making me wonder if I’m even allowed to step foot inside the tiny circle. I ignore them and quickly start looking under the tree, searching for whatever this idiot might have left there. I pick up a box and realize right away that it’s another fake one.

After a little while, I stand up straight and growl, rubbing my hands together as the cold seems to be getting the best of me. I’m about to walk away when I see a familiar brown mop of hair at the opposite side of the Christmas market. He’s walking towards me with a very weird expression on his face. I look back at the tree, and gaze up and down at it, quickly trying to find what the fuck he meant but still seeing nothing particularly out of place. I stare back at him. He’s much closer and I see his perfectly aligned teeth. Why the fuck is he grinning this way?

I look around, suddenly nervous and feeling my heart hammer against my chest. What the hell is going on?

“Eren?” I ask when he finally arrives in front of me.

He smiles and takes my hands in his. He blows hot air on them to try and keep me warm. I smirk and am about to say something when suddenly, he starts to kneel down. I blink a few times, stare at his shoes, even at his pants, wondering why he’s kneeling down. It’s when he let’s go of my hands and searches his coat pocket that I realize I might be very wrong about why I’m here. I gasp and almost choke as he pulls out a little black box.

“Fuck.” I blurt out and immediately cover my mouth.

Eren laughs and shakes his head before opening the little box and looking up to me. A silver band rests on the inside, shining with the reflection of the white string lights above our heads. But I quickly move my gaze back to the only thing that matters; Eren’s eyes and the words on his lips.

“We’ve been through hell and back, haven’t we? Our lives were hard and unfair but I will never regret any part of it because I wouldn’t be on one knee right now if I haven’t lived this exact life and walked this exact path.”

He pauses, letting the words sink in but also probably not wanting to make this too quick, knowing I’m more than overwhelmed right now and probably on the verge of passing out. I’m pretty sure red was never a skin tone I’ve had on me, but today, not because of the cold, but because of what lies underneath this bigass tree, I’m crimson red and there couldn’t be a better Christmas eve, indeed.  
“I have hated the fact that you knew me better than I knew myself, but I will forever be grateful that you are a stubborn little man.”

He smirks and I try to glare at him but just end up chuckling instead.

“I had a long speech written and I have to admit I forgot half of it... but what I mean to say is... I have loved you since the start even when I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. I love you more today than I have ever had before. I will love you for the rest of my life and even in any other life if that’s a possibility. I choose you forever and ever.... that is if...”

He takes a deep breath and smiles as I stop breathing entirely.

“Levi Ackerman... Will you marry me?”

I gasp. I knew the words were coming but hearing them and hearing them this way... knowing that I am clearly as important to someone as they are to me. Knowing that I love and am loved in return. Knowing just how much deeper our bond is than it ever was. Knowing that all my fears suddenly disappeared and ran away. All this is too much for my poor heart. For the first time ever, there is absolutely nothing weighting on my shoulders except for the pressure of the one little word I need to let out. I mean to scream it but can’t quite get over the fact of how flustered I am.

“Y-Yes.” I stutter. “Yes Eren, my bright-eyed brat, I will marry you.”

Eren raises himself to his feet and grabs my waist to lift me up and make me twirl. I’m about to protest until I feel his warm breath in my neck and see the string of lights spinning in slow motion over my head as if everything had suddenly slowed down, as if time itself had stopped to watch the scene. I smile as I grip Eren’s back tightly and let a few tears fall down on his shoulder.

Eventually, as his strength runs out, he puts me back on the ground and smiles with the widest grin I’ve ever seen him have. He pulls the ring out of the box and slides it on my finger. My heart jumps when all there is left is the both of us staring into each other’s eyes. I’m about to lean in when I’m startled by people clapping. I glance around quickly and see Hanji walking up to us with a camera and I blush. I blush even more when I see Armin, Jean, Annie, Mikasa and even god damn Pixis walking up to us. They all have these huge grins plastered on their faces, as if the world finally had granted someone a miracle and the miracle was Eren and I. Although the miracle will always be Eren to me. He saved my soul, my heart and my life. And there he was again, making everything perfect, steadying my hand like the guardian angel he always was to me.

I smile, not hearing what is being said but seeing, in a slower patch of time, the smiles of the people I care about, the people I love, being happy for Eren and I, being genuinely good people that I never believed actually existed. I smile as Hanji closes up her camera angles on everyone including us. I smile as Armin pulls out a pair of ice skates with a questioning eyebrow. I smile as everyone agrees but Pixis who congratulates us and walks away with a small wave of the hand. I smile as I look down in Eren’s hand and see the pizza box that most probably contains what started it all. I smile and lean in to my boyfriend... I mean fiance’s arms before pressing my lips softly against his, while his sweet sweet hands are placing his beanie on my head so I don’t catch a cold. I smile when the pizza box is suddenly gone and his hands find mine in my coat pockets. I smile because for once, I feel like saying that life isn’t too bad would be a huge understatement. I smile because tonight, I’m engaged to the single bravest little fighter that ever walked this earth. I’m engaged to what seems to be humanity’s last hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): *Cries forever* Alright I hope you liked the epilogue. About the song... It’s my actual wedding song, the one I walked down the isle on.... So it means a lot to me and it fitted them so well in this fic that I just had to have this be the last song of the fic.
> 
> I am extremely sad to let this fic go because it was by far the most fun thing I ever wrote. I am entirely in love with the characters I wrote in this and I’m sure they’ll keep interacting inside my head for a while before I move on to another ereri fanfic. I will be writing a few one shots before starting another long term fic. Suggestions can be sent in my tumblr askbox. Hikarimitsuko.tumblr.com ... also I track ‘extrapepperonifanfic’ and will keep the two blogs of our lovely little pizza guys active for as long as they’ll have followers and people interacting with em. (Although they didn't post this week, sorry)
> 
> I am nearing 10k hits and I cannot even believe this. I never ever expected it to get so many views and am freaking out a bit. Thanks to everyone who deemed it worth of sharing, of loving, of reading, of losing sleep over. If you do share it to your friends or on groups, make sure to tag me on any social network I’m there. If you do art, add my tag and I’ll reblog it at the speed of light.
> 
> Thanks for being there week after week and I hope we can see each other again in another one of my fics. 
> 
> I am good to make characters talk but I suck when it comes to saying goodbyes and yeah I’m crying. Fuck. WELL thanks to the regular readers that commented every single chapters week after week. Thanks to the regular readers who didn’t comment but were there update after update. Thanks for not pointing out my sucky English since I speak French. Thanks to those who said I’m an incredible writer, because of you I will keep writing fics. Because of you I never gave up.
> 
> I hope you guys have an amazing day or year and know that your miracle, your hope is waiting somewhere, whatever or whoever it is, never give up and keep fighting even when life is a bitch. You’re a little fighter and when you’re feeling down, have a slice of pizza and watch Magic Mike. I hope this fic will stay in your hearts because it sure as hell will stay in mine.
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
> 
> Comments will always be read, replied to and much appreciated ;_; ♥


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